Ni-ki

It's Christmas time. Yay, full of family, friendship and happiness. Well, it's supposed to be full of all of that and it is, for everyone but me. I was sitting on the couch watching as all the boys hugged their parents, and talked. I was happy for them, I really was. But my heart ached. My parents are all the way over in Japan and due to COVID, they couldn't come to Korea. I miss them, I miss the feeling of home and the anything to do with Japan. My heart continued to ache and I got sad all of a sudden as I watched them interact. I quickly got off the couch and ducked out the room, slipping out the front door before anyone can notice. I'm sad now, and close to breaking down at the thought of being so far away from home. That means I'm going to cry and I can't cry in front of my Hyungs, not when they finally get to see their family and are happy. I walked for about 5 minutes before I came across an old abandoned park. The thing that gave away it being abandoned was the fact that the grass was slightly overgrown and some of the equipment was broken. I climbed up a ladder and slipped into one of those children tunnel things. I curled up into a ball and leant against the wall, finally letting my emotions out. At first it was just a sniffle but pretty soon tears were streaming down my face as I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them. I miss my parents, I miss them so damn much. It's been two years since I've seen my parents. Two years. Sure that would be fine if I was in my 20's or something but I'm not, I'm 15. I need my parents, to be able to hug them and tell them that I love them. I love my Hyungs to death as well, I classify them as family as well but they aren't my parents. I cried and cried, for about 10 minutes before I suddenly heard a noise close by. I jumped in surprise and cuddled closer to myself, wiping my eyes slightly and staying quiet. Everything got slightly darker and I turned my head to the entrance, my eyes going wide. There was a person there. I couldn't see their face very well but what if it was Sasaeng. Of god, I shouldn't have gone out alone. I whimpered and shuffled back quickly, only pausing when they spoke up.

"Nishimura Riki right? It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm Yuta, from NCT." I paused and sniffled, taking a good look at his face as he moved slightly to the side and the light hit it. I definitely know who Yuta is but I can't remember much, all I know is that he is safe and will keep me safe.

"Y-Yuta Sunbaenim," I said slowly. I then realised that I had been crying and quickly tried to wipe away all my tears. Of course I'd end up crying in front of my Sunbaenim's.

"It's ok Riki, you don't need to hide your tears. Everyone cries," he said gently. It felt nice hearing someone call me Riki, not Ni-ki. Hearing him say that made my heart clench as a sudden realisation dawned on me. I'm now Ni-ki, everyone knows me as Ni-ki, I will never be known as Riki. I don't wanna be known just as Ni-ki, that's not me.

"Do you mind if I come and sit here next to you," he asked softly. I slowly shook my head and shuffled over a little bit so I was sitting back where I originally was. He slipped inside and sat down next to me.

"Do you wanna talk? Maybe tell me what's wrong? I'm a good listener," Yuta said gently.

"Nothings wrong," I said quickly. A lot is wrong, a lot but I'm not about to rant about it to one of my Sunbaenim's I've just met. We were silent for about 5 minutes, my thoughts slowly building up before it became too much. I need to let it out, I can't keep it in but I don't want to embarrass myself in front of my Sunbae. Good thing I'm not actually Korean.

"I miss home, I miss home so much. I haven't seen my parents in 2 years. I'm only 15, I shouldn't go this long without seeing my parents. All my Hyungs get to see their parents and are so happy together right now but I can't see mine, I can't even feel close to them. Even my identity has changed. Everyone knows me as Ni-ki the dance machine and great singer but no one know me as Riki. As the 15 year old boy who needs his parents and is actually really awkward at times. I can't remember the last time I've had something from Japan, talked in Japanese. I miss Japan, I miss my home," I said, breaking off into sobs. It felt good to let it out but now the tears wouldn't stop coming. Sob after sob just kept coming until I was a crying mess. Arms suddenly wrapped around me and I was pulled into a tight warm hug. Oh my god, my Sunbaenim is still here. He just heard me muttering a whole heap on nonsense and now I'm crying. He's probably so confus-.

"It's ok Riki, it's gonna be ok," he whispered, the language making me feel warm and fuzzy. Oh my god, Yuta Nakamoto, from NCT. He's Japanese, just like me. This is probably the closest I'm going to be to anything related to Japan. Forget looking good in front of my Sunbaenim. I quickly crawled into his lap and cuddled up to his chest, my arms going around his neck. I was worried he'd be creeped out and push me away but to my surprise he just hugged me closer.

"I'm here Riki, just let it out," he said gently.

"Can you hear me," he asked.

"Hai," I whispered.

"Good. Listen closely darling."

Yuta's POV

"Do you wanna talk? Maybe tell me what's wrong? I'm a good listener," I said softly to the young Japanese boy seated next to me. I don't like crying, let alone someone as young as Riki all alone, on Christmas day. I decided not to bring up how dangerous him being here alone is, given how wide known he is already and how secluded this place is. If it wasn't me who found him and someone else with worse intentions, he wouldn't be able to get help from anyone.

"Nothings wrong," he said quickly. I wasn't really satisfied by the answer given how he was crying alone just before but I respect his wishes. If he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't have to but I'm not leaving him alone no matter how long he wants to sit in this old abandoned kids tunnel. We were quiet for a while, around 5 minutes before Riki's breathing hitched and he started talking quickly. In Japanese.

"Imiss home, I miss home so much. I haven't seen my parents in 2 years. I'm only15, I shouldn't go this long without seeing my parents. All my Hyungs get tosee their parents and are so happy together right now but I can't see mine, I can'teven feel close to them. Even my identity has changed. Everyone knows me asNi-ki the dance machine and great singer but no one know me as Riki. As the 15year old boy who needs his parents and is actually really awkward at times. I can'tremember the last time I've had something from Japan, talked in Japanese. I missJapan, I miss my home,"  he said before he started sobbing hysterically. My heart broke. He's homesick, really badly homesick. I would've gone crazy if I was his age and couldn't see my parents for that long. Plus his Hyungs all got to see their parents, that would've crushed him. It's clear that he needs some sort of familiarity right now, something to tie him to Japan and it's not like there's anywhere I really need to be anytime soon. Time to comfort a fellow Japanese Idol. I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close to my side, rubbing his shoulder gently. If this makes him uncomfortable, I'll let him go straight away but he seems alright with it.

"It's ok Riki, it's gonna be ok," I whispered. I felt him freeze and his breathing hitched. I thought that he may have gotten to uncomfortable but mere seconds later he was climbing into my waist. His legs were on either side of my waist and his arms were around my neck, his head snuggled into my chest. I smiled softly but sadly and pulled him closer to me, giving him a tight, warm hug.

"I'm here Riki, just let it out," I said gently. Given his little rant, calling him Riki seems to make him feel better.

"Can you hear me," I asked him gently.

"Hai," he replied. Good, time to stop this lovely boy from being so sad.

"Good. Listen close darling," I told him. He nodded into my chest and cuddled closer. Oh my god, I'm so going to get attatched to this child. He's so sweet and cuddly and it's making me sad hearing his cries.

"I know how it feels to miss home, I was the exact same when I first came to Korea and it's nothing to feel bad alright," I told him softly.

"Really," he whimpered.

"Really. I cried almost everyday for the first two weeks of being in Korea. The fact that you made it this long without breaking down is truly commendable, you're so strong Riki," I said firmly.

"You really think that," he asked me, his sobs lessening slightly.

"Yeah I do, it's fine for you to cry. In terms of not seeing your parents, I can't imagine how hard it is for you. When I first came to Korea I could still see my parents every few months. There was no COVID stopping them from coming here. I do however know that it's probably unimaginably hard for you, especially given how young you are. I can't help you see your parents unfortunately but I can tell you that you have me now. If you ever need someone to talk to or too cook you a homemade meal, I'll be there for you ok," I said gently. He lifted his head up slowly and looked up at me with red puffy eyes.

"Y-You'd give me a home-cooked meal," he asked in small, unsure voice.

"Anytime you want one," I nodded.

"Thank you Yuta Hyung," he said, his eyes welling up again as he cuddled back down. Now's the hard part, the identity crisis.

"You don't like being called Ni-ki" I asked him slowly.

"Um, it's not so much that I don't like it. It's more so that I don't like how much pressure it is. It makes me feel fake sometimes and it get's tiring. Whenever the camera is around, I have to be perfect Ni-ki. The Maknae who can dance well, jokes with his Hyungs," he said with a sigh.

"But that's not me," he added.

"That is you Riki. Ni-ki is still you, just another version," I said gently. He looked up at me in confusion furrowed his eyebrows.

"What do you mean," he asked me.

"I mean that Ni-ki is still you, just a different version. Ni-ki is you when you get to be confident and have fun. Riki is you when you get to let loose and do whatever you want without getting in trouble. Either way, Riki, Ni-ki, it's still you," I said as I softly moved his hair from his forehead and pushed it back.

"You should embrace both names because they're both you and they're both perfect," I said firmly. He sniffled and a small smile graced his lips. Ah huh, a smile. I'm on the right track.

"You mean that," he asked me.

"You seriously need to stop saying that. Anything I'm telling you, I mean," I said, making him smile sheepishly.

"You're perfect Riki, Ni-ki, both versions are great," I said.

"Thank you Hyung, it really mean a lot," he said, wiping his eyes as he finally stopped crying.

"Are you feeling a little better" I asked him hopefully.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better. I'm still missing mum and dad but I don't think I'm gonna start crying over it anytime soon," he chuckled.

"Good, I don't like seeing you cry. Can I see a proper beautiful smile? I've never seen one in person," I asked him as I poked his cheeks gently. He giggled and smiled wide. Damn, he really is young. I think most people forget just how young the kid really is.

"Are you feeling well enough to head home," I asked him.

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you Hyung-."

"Uh, no way. I'm not letting you walk home alone. It's bad enough that you were alone here in the middle of nowhere. Do you know how dangerous that was Riki? If it wasn't me but someone else, you could've gotten seriously hurt and had no way to get help," I scolded him before pausing. Wait, is it even my place to scold him.

"I know Hyung, I won't do it again. But how did you even find me here in the first place," he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, I usually walk along a trail near here to clear my head. I heard cries and was just gonna check who it was but then I saw it was you and I couldn't just leave you alone here," I said sheepishly.

"Aww, you're a softie. I thought you were tough and cold-hearted," he said as he shuffled over to me side and cuddled up to me, giggling once again. Oh my god my heart is going to burst. Riki is cuter than Sungie and that mean a lot because Jisung is so adorable.

"Shut up, it's only certain people that I'm soft around. Young one's that I care about. I mean, just people, that I see," I said quickly. Shit, have I just creeped him out completely? I hardly know him and I just said that. I mean it's true, I have a terrible habit of looking after young Idols and it's even worse that he's from Japan as well. I want to keep him safe and happy.

"Does that mean I can always call you Hyung? I don't have anyone else from home that I can talk to," he asked, looking up at me with wide and innocent eyes.

"Of course you can Riki. Think of me as your home away from home. If you're ever lonely or homesick, just give me a call. I'll give you my phone number," I told him.

"My phones at home so why don't I just give you my phone number," he said, making me look to him quickly.

"You don't have your phone either," I exclaimed.

"Whoops," he said half-heartedly. I just sighed and rolled my eyes, pulling my phone up and giving it to him. He put in his phone number before giving it back. I smiled and ruffled his hair fondly when I saw his name in my phone. He put it in as 'Japanese Baby Brother.'

"You better save me as Japanese Big Brother," I said, making him grin and nod hurriedly.

"Good, now let's get you home," I told him. He nodded again and we crawled out of the tunnel before climbing down to the ground. I grabbed his hand gently to help him down, making sure he didn't hurt himself when he jumped down. I went to let go as we begun to walk but he whined and held it tightly, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. I chuckled and linked our fingers, letting him lead the way back to his dorm.

Ni-ki's POV

Yuta Hyung was nice, so nice and he made me feel so much better. It was so comforting to talk in my mother tongue and have someone who understands a lot of what I'm going through. And it seems I've just gotten a new Hyung who will look after me. I really hope he actually will make me some home cooked meals. I really have missed them.

It didn't take us too long to get back to the dorm as we walked in a comfortable silence, our hands linked together softly.

"NISHIMURA RIKI." I froze as I heard Sunoo yell the minute we stepped through the front gate. Yuta quickly stepped away as I got an armful of my Hyung.

"Ni-ki," Jake said as he rushed out, along with all of my other Hyungs.

"Hi Hyungs," I said sheepishly.

"I think I'm in trouble," I said quickly, making Yuta chuckle fondly.

"Where the hell were you? You've been gone for ages and we were so worried about you," Jay said as he also pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry Hyungs. I went for a walk and got a little di-."

"You should tell them the real reason Riki. They're your Hyungs, they will understand and it will be good for them to know," Yuta told me. Everyone turned to him in confusion.

"They won't understand," I said nervously.

"Would you feel better if I told them," he asked gently.

"What're you guys talking about," Jake asked quickly. I ignored him and nodded to Yuta.

"Riki was in a children's tunnel in an abandoned park-."

"I didn't mean tell them that part Hyung," I whined.

"Right, sorry. Anyway, Riki here left to go cry alone in the middle of nowhere without his phone," Yuta said.

"You what!" Jungwon exclaimed.

"He's homesick and misses his parents. I don't think he wanted you guys to know but I guess seeing you guys with your family just reminded him that he couldn't see his own," Yuta said softly. Everyone turned to me with wide eyes.

"You're homesick aegi," Heeseung asked sadly. I just sighed and nodded.

"I'm so sorry we didn't realise," Sunghoon said softly.

"It's alright. Yuta Hyung found me and we talked. I'm feeling much better," I said quickly.

"Thank you Yuta Sunbaenim," Jungwon said quickly, bowing down.

"No problem, I'm always happy to help," he said softly.

"So you just like picking up strays," I asked him with a giggle.

"Nope, you're just the lucky, cute one," he said making me grin happily.

"Well, we'll let you guys talk for a bit more. We're glad to know you're safe, we can talk later," Heeseung said. The other's nodded before walking off, Sunoo giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before he left.

"Um Hyung, did you mean it when you said you'd cook me a home meal if I ever wanted," I asked shyly.

"I'll drop one by tomorrow. I won't tell you what, it'll be a surprise," he told me. I ran to him and hugged him tightly, as he hugged me back.

"Thank you Hyung," I said happily.

"No problem darling. I'm here if you ever need, remember that," he said gently.

"I'm happy I met you Hyung," I whispered.

"I'm happy I met you my Japanese Baby Brother."

A/N

This was a request from a friend of mine and I hope they enjoyed it.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you're all doing alright and being safe