Jungwon's POV

2 hours. There's 2 hours until we're going onto that stage to see if we've won an award. We're supposed to be relaxing but I can't. There is no way I can relax right now, it's a wonder that I'm not completely panicking and freaked out right now. I'm sweating a lot, my palms are clammy and everything just feels too hot, it's getting hard too breathe. All I can think about is what will happen if we don't win this award. If we don't win then the boys are going to realise how bad of a leader I am and are going to leave me. They won't want me, they'll be far too embarrassed and disappointed, not wanting to be associated with me. I looked around the room at all the boys as they laughed and joked around. I can't lose this, I just can't lose this. I've gotten attatched to these boys and they're like my own family, I can't be abandoned by any else. My breathing hitched and I felt the overwhelming urge to get out of there, I can't stay in the room right now.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna duck to the toilet," I said quickly, managing to keep the shakiness out of my voice.

"Ok, don't take too long Wonie," Heeseung said before he turned back to Sunghoon. I just nodded and quickly left the room. My chest felt tight and my head felt like it was almost going to explode as I stumbled down the halls. I can't do this. I don't want to be abandoned. If we lose this award the whole world will know how much of a letdown I am and I wouldn't be surprised if they tell the boys I need to go. I managed to find and empty hall and leant my forehead against the wall as I burst into tears, my shoulders shaking with the sobs. I felt small and vulnerable so I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to give myself any sort of comfort I could. I moved closer to the wall and let out all of my doubts and insecurities. It's so hard being the leader but it's even worse when it comes down to something like this. The teams success is the leaders success and the teams downfall is the leaders fault and downfall. I gasped for air and choked on my sobs, trying to calm down but unable to.

"Are you ok." I froze and turned around quickly, coming face to face with none other than Choi San and Jeong Yunho. I was shocked but I quickly tried to steady my breathing and wiped my eyes.

"Y-Yeah, I'm alright," I replied shakily. I stood there as they both slowly ran their eyes over me before they took a little step closer.

"Jungwon right," San said gently and I slowly nodded, trying and failing to stop my shaking.

"Well Jungwon. You realise it's ok to not be ok right? You don't have to keep up a strong front all the time, sometimes it's just good to let it out rather than bottling everything up," Yunho said gently. His words hit me hard and I felt myself wanting to cry and break down but I can't, not in front of my Sunbaenim's. I clenched my jaw shut as tight as I could but it didn't do much as mere seconds later, a choked whimper slips past my lips and my eyes once again welled up with tears.

San's POV

Seeing the younger idol break down in tears right in front us was heartbreaking. As the leader of a young new group, it must be quite hard on him to always live up to the expectations put on him, especially when you come from a company with groups like BTS and TXT. I frowned sadly as a whimper slipped out of Jungwon's mouth and he wrapped his arms around himself. He looked scared and small and like an innocent child as he broke down into tears. After hearing Yunho tell him he doesn't have to be strong, he broke down into tears and started sobbing sadly where he stood. I looked to Yunho and saw that he was thinking the same thing as me.

"Come here aegi," I whispered as I slowly walked over, placing a gentle hand on the younger Idols shoulder, fighting the urge to hug him in case it made him uncomfortable. I let out a small sigh though when he turned into my hold and walked closer to me, burying his head in my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and just rocked him side to side gently as Yunho walked over and rubbed his back.

"That's it, just let it out," he said gently.

"You're safe here ok, don't hold back. It's not good to bottle it up," I whispered. He continued to sob into my shoulder, each sob shaking his small frame. I frowned worriedly when he seemed to be having trouble breathing and I went to step back but he whimpered and clung to me tightly.

"It's alright, I'm not going anywhere. You're not sounding very goo though and I want to make sure you're breathing alright," I told him. He seemed to just want comfort at the moment so I slowly bent down and picked him up, holding his legs as he wrapped them around my waist and clung to my neck tightly.

"Is this ok," I asked him gently. He nodded quickly as he continued to cry.

"I need a yes or no," I whispered.

"Y-Yes," he whimpered.

"Do you want to go find your members? What dressing room are you guys in," Yunho asked him. He immediately shook his head quickly, confusing both Yunho and I.

"You don't want to see them," I asked slowly, making him quickly nod. I was confused but if that's what he wants then I'm not going to force him to see them. I'm not sure what's happened but it must involve the rest of Enhypen somehow.

"Sannie, let's take him to our dressing room so we can calm him down," Yunho said.

"Are you sure, what if he doesn't wan-."

"P-Please Hyung," Jungwon whimpered. I looked down to the smaller boy in my arms and smiled fondly, happy to hear him call me Hyung. Most younger Idols call the older one's Sunbae but I personally prefer them calling me Hyung, Sunbaenim makes me feel old.

"Ok, we'll take you to our dressing room for a little bit. The other's will be there but we'll make sure they don't overwhelm you ok," I told him. He just clung tighter to me so we quickly walked down the hall. Yunho gently placed his jacket over Jungwon's head just in case someone walked by so they wouldn't recognise the young leader in my arms. He already seems to be going through enough, he doesn't need a scandal as well. When we got to the room, Yunho opened the door and I slowly walked inside with the crying boy. Everyone looked to us immediately but Yunho quickly placed a finger to his lips and shook his head as he grabbed his jacket. The boys eyes widened and Seonghwa went to come over but I quickly shook my head, sitting down on the couch.

"Jungwonie, you're in our dressing room now, can you try and take a deep breath for me please," I asked gently. He shook his head and cuddled closer, making me bite my lip nervously. He's been crying and upset for a while and I don't want him getting too worked up. I was getting a little nervous about my ability to calm him down when Yeosang suddenly walked over and knelt down next to us.

"Hey Jungwon, it's so nice to meet you I'm Yeosang," he said softly. Jungwon gently lifted his head up and looked to Yeosang. 

"Nice to meet you too," he said quietly.

"Why're you crying Jungwon," Yeosang asked him as he lifted up his hand and gently wiped away the tears that were falling. I paid close attention to Yeosang as he comforted the younger, it seemed to be working.

"I'm scared," Jungwon whispered.

"What're you scared of," Yeosang asked. Jungwon's grip around my neck tightened and I placed my hands on his hips, rubbing softly to calm him down.

"T-They're going to leave me," he whispered. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Who is going to leave you," I asked him kindly.

"M-My members," he said as he looked down sadly.

"Why would they leave you," Yeosang said with a small frown.

"Because they're going to realise I'm a bad leader," he whimpered. I quickly looked up at Hongjoong, realising this was probably something another leader could help with. He understood and immediately walked over and knelt next to Yeosang.

Jungwon's POV

I was still seated in San's lap crying when I felt another presence behind me.

"Hey Jungwon, it's so nice to meet you I'm Yeosang," a soft voice said. I lifted my head up from San's chest and turned to see Kang Yeosang knelt behind me.

"Nice to meet you too," I said slowly, feeling slightly shy after seeing one of my favourite ATEEZ members.

"Why're you crying Jungwon," Yeosang said as he wiped the tears from underneath my eyes and it felt really comforting. I almost found myself leaning into the touch but I quickly stopped myself. My tears slowed down a little as he sent me a small reassuring smile.

"I'm scared," I admitted quietly.

"What're you scared of," Yeosang asked me. At his words I found myself tensing but I relaxed when I felt a soothing and soft hold on my hips.

"T-They're going to leave me," I whispered sadly.

"Who is going to leave you," San asked gently.

"M-My members," I said looking down as I remembered sadly.

"Why would they leave you," Yeosang asked.

"Because they're going to realise I'm a bad leader," I whimpered, not lifting my head. Everything was silent for a few seconds before there was some movement and someone knelt next to Yeosang. I slowly lifted my head up and my eyes locked with the well know leader of ATEEZ, Kim Hongjoong. My eyes went wide and I was shocked, speechless.

"Hey Jungwon," he said, giving me a bright smile.

"H-Hongjoong S-Sunbaenim," I breathed out, quickly trying to dry my eyes.

"Don't worry about it Jungwon, it's ok to cry," he said softly. I sniffled and nodded but still wiped away my tears as I slowly stopped crying.

"Why do you think you're a bad leader Jungwon," he asked me. I sighed before turning around in San's grip so I could face Hongjoong, grabbing San's hands and wrapping them back around my waist. I don't know why, but I felt extremely comfortable in the presence of the Sunbae group.

"I-If we don't win, it's my fault," I said sadly.

"What do you mean if you don't win? If you don't win the award," Hongjoong asked. I nodded sadly.

"Jungwon, we didn't win our next award until around a year after we debut. Just because you don't win an award doesn't mean you're not a good group, and it certainly doesn't mean you're a bad leader Jungwon. Yes as leaders it is our responsibility to help our team succeed but that doesn't mean it falls upon us whenever there is a loss," Hongjoong explained.

"But-."

"No but's Won. Every group experiences losses, it just comes with the job and something everyone learns to deal with. I know it's really hard for you being one of the youngest and being the leader of a new Rookie group that got so much attention even before debut. I want you to know from the perspective of another leader, you're doing so well ok. Seeing young leaders like you doing so well, makes me so proud," Hongjoong whispered as he slipped his hand into mine and held it gently.

"You really mean that," I asked, my heart pounding but in a good way at the praise from the older.

"Yeah, I do. You're a very good leader so don't ever doubt yourself ok. Even if you guys don't win that award today, there's still other awards and you've got plenty of time to win them alright," Hongjoong told me. I sighed and nodded, feeling more at ease than I have for a while.

"Feeling better," San asked gently as he rested his head on my shoulder.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for interrupting you guys," I said nervously.

"It's no problem Jungwon, we always love meeting our juniors," Wooyoung said as he walked over. Now that I wasn't as upset and panicking, it fully registered that I was currently in the dressing room of ATEEZ after all of them had watched me cry.

"Oh my god this is so embarrassing," I said, going bright red and turning my head to hide it in San's chest. I felt his chest rumble slightly as he laughed.

"It's fine Jungwon, we don't care at all," Yeosang said.

"Also Jungwon, can you look at me for a sec." I lifted up my head up again and looked over at Yunho.

"I know you said not to call your members but we thought it would be best if we get someone to come here. Wooyoung called Yeonjun and he let the eldest know, they should be here in a few minutes," Yunho said slowly. I could tell from his expression that he thought I was going to be annoyed or something but I didn't really care. As long as the boys wouldn't abandon me, I'm fine.

"That's ok. Thank you," I said with a nod as he smiled. I sat there for a few minutes before there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Mingi said. The door swung open and I immediately stood up, getting an arm full of my only dongsaeng.

"Hyungie," he cried as he hugged me tightly.

"I'm alright Riki," I said gently, hugging him back as Sunoo rushed over and joined.

Heeseung's POV

After hearing that Jungwon was with ATEEZ crying, everyone that wasn't getting makeup done (Sunoo, Ni-ki and I) rushed out of our dressing room and made our way over to the ATEEZ dressing room where our leader was. I knocked quickly on the door as soon as we got there before hearing a come in. Ni-ki didn't hesitate to run inside and over to Jungwon the minute the slightly older stood up.

"Hyungie," he said as they hugged tightly.

"I'm alright Riki," Jungwon assured him as Sunoo joined the hug. I wanted to join it as well but first I need some answers. I walked over to Hongjoong, San walking over as well.

"Thank you for finding him and looking after him Sunbaenim," I said gratefully.

"Anytime, it was San and Yunho who found him though," Hongjoong replied. I quickly bowed appreciatively to San as he gave me a small smile.

"Do you have any idea what happened," I asked quietly, looking over at the Maknae's quickly. They seemed ok, hugging and consoling each other as they talked to the other ATEEZ members.

"He's scared that if you guys don't win this award, everyone will think he's a bad leader and you won't want him anymore I think," San told me. I frowned sadly at his words. Does Jungwon really think we'd ever say think that?

"I think he's more scared that you guys might leave him," San told me. I sighed before nodding.

"Thank you for telling me. We'll look after him from here," I told them.

"Of course," Hongjoong nodded. I quickly walked over to the Maknae's.

"Are you guys ready to go," I asked them gently. Sunoo and Ni-ki immediately nodded but Jungwon turned to look at San. San smiled gently and opened his arms, Jungwon immediately running into them as they hugged gently. Well, I guess we know what the topic of the dorm will be about for the next week.

"Thankyou San Hyung," Jungwon whispered.

"Anytime. If you ever need anything, I'm always here," San told him as they pulled apart. Jungwon nodded before walking over to us. I grabbed his hand and Ni-ki's, gently pulling them out the room with a final goodbye and thank you. We walked in silence the whole way back to our dressing room but it wasn't an uncomfortable one. When we got into our dressing room, our staff respectfully left the room, knowing something happened with Jungwon and that we should talk privately. Jungwon walked in and sat down on Jay's lap as the older hugged him gently as we all milled around.

"I'm sorry if I worried all of you guys," Jungwon said quietly.

"It's completely fine Jungwon, we just want to make sure you're ok," Sunghoon said quickly.

"I'm ok, I promise. I was scared earlier and my thoughts got the better of me but San Hyung and the rest of the ATEEZ Sunbaenim's helped me see things in a different light," Jungwon told us.

"Why were you scared," Jay asked gently.

"I was worried that if we lose today, you guys wouldn't want me around anymore," Jungwon admitted, making everyone gasp.

"Aegi, we would never want that. We love you so, so much and Enhypen wouldn't be Enhypen without you," Jake said shaking his head.

"I know. Like I said, my thoughts got the better of me for a bit," he said with a sigh.

"That's ok, it happens sometimes. Do you understand that that's not true though? You've done your job as our leader phenomenally Jungwon," I told him gently.

"Thank you Hyung," he said, giving me a shy smile as he blushed.

"Aish, you're so cute," Sunghoon said as he pinched Jungwon's cheek softly, making the younger whine and move away.

"If you ever feel this way again Jungwon, promise you'll tell us ok," I said gently as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"I promise," he nodded.

"Good. Now we should probably make sure we're ready, we're going out in an hour," I pointed out.

"Right. Let's get ready and run over some things before we go out. Chop, chop," Jungwon said, going into his leader mode.

"Anything you say oh great leader," Ni-ki joked, making Jungwon whack him on the back of his head. I chuckled fondly as the two youngest poked each other as everyone got back into their routines. That night everyone kept a close eye on our young leader but he seemed to have perked up and whether or not he'll admit it, it was very obvious he had taken and immediate liking to Choi San. We ended up sitting next to ATEEZ and they were cuddled up together, the youngers head resting on the ATEEZ members. It was quite cute actually and I was glad to see that Jungwon had found comfort in a member from another such renowned group.

A/N

This was requested by @sunoo_is_sunshine and I hope you liked it. 

Thank you to those who haven't gotten sick of my stories and are still reading, it really means the world to me.

I hope you all are staying safe and healthy!