Yeosang's POV

Promotions for Déjà vu have been a bit hectic lately, we've all been having to do extra practice to make sure we know the entire dance like the back of our hands. You don't want to make a mistake on live television. That's why Seonghwa, Jongho and I are currently in the dance studio, going over the dance together.

"Great job Yeosang-ah, you're doing so well with this dance. It's nice seeing you perform with confidence," Seonghwa said as he ruffled my hair softly. I grinned at the praise, happy that the eldest thinks I'm doing well.

"I agree, you're gonna knock Atiny for 6 Hyung," Jongho said. I flashed him a small smile as my cheeks heated up.

"Aish, so shy," Seonghwa said, patting my cheek fondly.

"Hyung," I whined, swatting his hand away as I blushed even more.

"Let's run through it again," Seonghwa said as he restarted the music. I went over to Jongho and pat his back as the music began to play. I furrowed my eyebrows as he turned to me and flashed me a weak smile. Is it just me or was that very fake? And was he wincing? Before I could think about it anymore, it was time to dance so I decided to focus on that, I can just ask him about it later. It was halfway through the dance, as we got to Jongho's part that he let out a cry of pain, dropping to the floor as he clutched at his knee. Seonghwa quickly rushed to Jongho and dropped down next to the Maknae.

"Jjongie, what happened," he asked in concern. I hung back, not wanting to get too close and get in the way. It's not really known by anyone but I don't like comforting people, or more like I can't. Trying to comfort people makes me anxious, even scared for some reason so I make sure not to do it. Thankfully, with 7 other members, there's always someone else to comfort whoever is upset.

"I-It's my knee. It started hurting and I thought it was fine but it just suddenly started hurting real bad," Jongho whimpered, still clutching his knee tightly.

"How bad," Seonghwa asked.

"Pretty bad," Jongho replied, lips pulled tight in pain. My heart tugged as I watched him in pain. Despite not being comfortable comforting people, I still hate seeing my brothers in pain, especially the youngest who almost never shows he's hurt unless it's really bad.

"Crap. I'm going to go get some ice, Sangie look after Jjongie," Seonghwa said before rushing off quickly, leaving me alone with the hurt Maknae. I looked over to him, he wasn't crying but he was letting out small whimpers of pain as he clenched his eyes shut. He opened them and looked up at me, his eyes showing pain which is something I don't like seeing.

"Yeosangie Hyung, it, it hurts. C-Can I have a hug," he gasped out. I froze at his words, I do really want to comfort him but I just, I don't think I can. I looked into his pleading eyes and my heart broke, I walked over to him and dropped to the floor wrapped my arms around him gently. He whimpered and cuddled closer to me, tucking himself under my arm, one hand wrapping around me while the other still held his knee. My breathing immediately sped up and my hands begun to shake, panic crawling up my throat. I rubbed my hand up and down his back gently, my hand trembling as I took shallow breaths. As much as this is scaring me and making me anxious, he's my dongsaeng and I need to make sure he's ok, no matter what.

"Hyung?" I looked down to see Jongho look up at me questioningly.

"Y-Yeah," I asked quickly.

"Are you ok? You're shaking," he said softly. I froze and my eyes went wide, my heart pounding.

"I-I." I stopped and whimpered, looking down into his confused eyes for a few seconds. I can't do this. I let go of him and stumbled back, tripping over and falling back down.

"Yeosangie Hyung," he asked, reaching out to me slowly. My eyes welled with tears and I jumped up quickly before running out of the room. The thought of me running out of the room and leaving my dongsaeng hurt and alone made me feel even more like shit and I felt tears start to stream down my face. I didn't stop running once I final made it out of the room, too scared and guilty. All I could think was that I need to get as far away from that room as I can. I didn't even care that I wasn't wearing my jacket, nor did I have a mask on which means there's a chance I could get recognized. I just ran straight out the building and down the street. I was sobbing and running with no idea where I was headed. I don't know how long I was running for but I eventually stumbled and fell into a wall by the sidewalk. I curled up and squatted down sobs escaping my lips as I curled myself as close to the wall as possible. I shivered and sobbed pulling the sleeves of my thin shirt over my hands to try and get some warmth. I sniffled and looked around to try and figure out where I was. I paused furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I saw that I was outside the BigHit building. Did I really run that far? How long was I running for? I wrapped my arms around myself and paused as I noticed two people walking down the steps and out onto the sidewalk.

"No but did you see Soobinnie Hyungs face. He screamed so loud," Taehyun chuckled as he shoved Yeonjun's shoulder.

"Hyunnie, J-Junnie" I whimpered, my eyes watering once again. They paused and turned to me, their eyes going wide.

"Sangie," Taehyun said, rushing forwards. I jumped up quickly and stumbled into his waiting arms. He wrapped them around me tightly as I sagged in his hold, whimpering and crying into his shoulder as he rubbed my back gently.

"Shh, shh Sangie, you're ok," he whispered gently. I felt another hand be placed on my back softly, just a steady, calming weight on my back to ground me.

"I've got you Yeosang, it's ok," Taehyun said softly. I may not like comforting people but that doesn't mean I don't like being comforted. Some of the tension left my body at his words but it didn't stop me from crying.

"Hyunnie, we should get him inside. We don't want anyone to take photos and he's shivering," Yeonjun said.

"Can you walk or do you want me to carry you," Taehyun asked quietly. I just tightened my grip around his neck and hoped that he understood what I wanted.

Taehyun's POV

Yeonjun and I just finished our extra vocal practice and we were walking out of the building to head back to the dorm, talking about how Kai scared Soobin earlier that morning.

"No but did you see Soobinnie Hyungs face. He screamed so loud," I laughed, nudging his shoulder. He went to reply when he was cut off by a small sob from behind us.

"Hyunnie, J-Junnie." We both quickly turned around and looked down, our eyes going wide at what we saw. Yeosang was huddled up against the wall, arms curled around himself, tears falling down his face. His eyes were red and puffy and he was shivering, given that it was windy and he was wearing a jacket, just a thin long sleeve shirt that was pulled over his hands.

"Sangie," I said, running over to him. He jumped up and stumbled into me as I hugged him tightly to my chest. He relaxed in my hold, crying into my shoulder as I ran my hand up and down his back.

"Shh, shh Sangie, you're ok," I said softly. Yeonjun walked over and placed his hand on the small of Yeosang's back. I don't know why he's crying but it's obviously something bad because in all the time we were trainees, I never once saw him cry.

"I've got you Yeosang, it's ok," I whispered, trying to calm him a little. It seemed to work as he relaxed more in my hold. He was still crying but it's a start.

"Hyunnie, we should get him inside. We don't want anyone to take photos and he's shivering," Yeonjun told me, looking down at Yeosang sadly. I don't think he's even seen him cry much before either. He's right though, we should get him inside.

"Can you walk or do you want me to carry you," I asked Yeosang quietly. He didn't say anything, just pushed himself closer to me. I took that as him wanting to be carried so I wrapped my arms under his thighs and lifted him up, allowing him to wrap his legs around my waist. I quickly carried him into the company building and over to some chairs, placing him down softly. Yeonjun and I sat down on either side of him, holding his hands gently in our own. We were quiet for a few seconds, just waiting patiently for him calm down a bit more and be able to talk and explain to us what happened. Once he finally calmed down, he sniffled one last time and took a deep breath. I quickly lifted my unoccupied hand up and brushed the tears off his face gently, causing him to give me a shy but appreciative smile. Yeosang may have left the company and not be in our group but we're still close to him, and seeing him in so much distress still pains us. We are good friends after all.

"J-Jjongie got hurt. His knee was playing up and he dropped to the floor in pain halfway through a run through," Yeosang said.

"Is he ok," I asked him quickly.

"I-I don't know. It was just me Jongho and Hwa Hyung. And then Hyung left to get ice and Jongho wanted comfort and then I panicked. I-I just ran and I left him there. God I'm such a bad Hyung, I just left him," Yeosang sobbed, turning to bury his head in my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and brought him closer to me, rubbing his hair softly.

"It's ok Sangie, I'm sure you didn't mean to leave him like that and you wouldn't have if it was something really serious. Why did you panic," Yeonjun asked softly.

"I-I was scared," Yeosang whimpered. I furrowed my eyebrows worriedly and turned to face him more.

"Why were you scared," I asked gently.

"I don't. I can't comfort people. It's so, it's so stupid but I just can't. No matter how much I want to help, I just can't do anything. I get anxious and panic and I get scared," Yeosang said, looking up at me sadly. My eyes softened and I gently wiped the tears as they fell from his eyes. I understand what he's saying, while I don't have that much of a reaction, I get really uncomfortable when people need comfort from me.

"I just get scared," he said in a small voice before he looked down and tensed slightly, as if waited for us to laugh, or get mad or something. The thought made me sad and sympathetic.

"Yeosang-ah," Yeonjun said gently, placing his fingers on Yeosang's chin and lifting his head to look at him.

"It's ok, you didn't do anything wrong ok. Everyone has their fears alright," Yeonjun told him softly.

"You, you mean that," Yeosang asked quietly.

"Of course. You can't be blamed for being scared. I'm just glad you're safe. Running out with no protection, not even a mask to keep your identity can be very dangerous Sang," Yeonjun scolded him lightly.

"M'sorry, I just panicked," Yeosang said with a sigh.

"It's alright, as long as you're ok," Yeonjun replied. Yeosang nodded before shivering slightly and cuddling closer to me. I quickly placed my palm on his neck, feeling how cold it was.

"Jeez, you're freezing. Put this on," I said, quickly shrugging off my jacket and wrapping it around him. He gave me a small smile before slipping his arms into the sleeves and pulling the jacket close to him.

"You sure you won't get cold," he asked me quietly. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Hey Yeosang-ah, do you want me to call Wooyoung and get him to come pick you up," Yeonjun asked.

"Yes please," Yeosang replied. Yeonjun quickly stood up and pulled out his phone, walking off to go call Wooyoung.

"Hey Yeosang, can I tell you something," I asked slowly. He turned to me and nodded, wiping his eyes with one hand and squeezing my hand with his other that was still holding it.

"I understand what you mean when you say comforting people makes you uncomfortable or scares you. While I don't have a phobia or get scared with it, I don't enjoy it at all. I know that probably doesn't help much but I'm here for you if you need it," I told him softly.

"You seem to be doing just fine," he chuckled. I smiled, happy to see him looking a little less upset.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"No problem. I'm always happy to help. You did scare me a bit though when I saw you huddled up on the pavement," I said with a sigh.

"Sorry. I don't even know how I got here. I just ran and when I stopped I was here," he told me.

"I'm glad you did," I said. Some words were left unsaid, the 'if you didn't end up here, something else bad could've happened to you'. We sat in silence, Yeonjun joining us later after he told us they were coming to pick Yeosang up.

Yeosang's POV

After about 10 minutes, the door to the building opened and in rushed Wooyoung and Seonghwa. Wooyoung looked really worried, while Seonghwa had a passive face, the only sign of emotion was his eyebrows furrowed slightly. When Wooyoung saw me, he rushed over and pulled me into a tight hug.

"What the hell Yeosang! You've been gone for almost an hour. You just left, no one knew where you were," he said, squeezing me tight in worry.

"I'm sorry Youngie," I replied with a sigh.

"It's ok, I'm just glad you're alright," he said as he pulled away and turned to Taehyun and Yeonjun who were now standing.

"Thank you jagiya," Wooyoung said, giving Yeonjun a quick hug.

"No problem," he nodded. Wooyoung turned to Taehyun and nodded in thanks.

"We'll get going now, sorry to bother you," Seonghwa said.

"It was no bother," Yeonjun replied with a shrug. I gave them a small smile of thanks before the three of us headed towards the entrance.

"See ya jagiya," Yeonjun called out. Wooyoung giggled and waved goodbye. I glanced at Seonghwa as we left but he wouldn't look at me. I'm pretty sure he's angry at me for leaving Jongho, god I'm such an idiot. We got into the car, Seonghwa in the passenger seat, Wooyoung and I in the middle. Wooyoung sat in the middle next to me and leant his head on my shoulder, placing his hand on my thigh softly. The entire ride was silent, the only words spoken being from Seonghwa thanking the driver as we got out. We walked inside, closing the door behind us.

"Loungeroom. Now," Seonghwa said, finally look at me only to glare at me. I bit my lip nervously but followed him to the loungeroom. Everyone else was there and I could immediately tell they were worried. Hongjoong was pacing up and down but he stopped and looked over when we entered, his body untensing in relief.

"Thank god," he said, rushing over and hugging me tightly.

"Don't you ever do that again Kang Yeosang. Do you understand how worried we were? You can't just leave without telling anyone, god you were gone for ages," he said, pulling back and cupping my cheek softly. I felt bad, really bad. His eyes were slightly red, like he'd been crying and I was gone for over an hour. That may not seem like long but when you're an idol and no one knows where you are for that long, it isn't very good. I felt even worse when I saw Jongho looking over worriedly from where he was laying on one of the couches with his leg propped up and an icepack on his knee.

"M'sorry Hyung," I said quietly. He just nodded and motioned for me to go sit down. I walked to one of the couches and sat down next to San who looked at me worriedly. Seonghwa sat down on one of the chairs across from me and crossed his arms, a frown on his face. Yeah, he's definitely angry.

"Explain yourself right now," he said firmly.

"I'm sorry. I forgot my phone so I couldn't call to tell you guys where I was," I said, biting my lip nervous.

"You know damn well that's not what I'm talk about," Seonghwa said sharply. I flinched and my hand quickly found San's, tucked next to my leg. He looked up at me and squeezed my hand gently.

"Hyung there's no need to get angry, it was an honest mistake," San said quickly.

"No need to get angry? An honest mistake," Seonghwa scoff.

"HE ABANDONDED THE MAKNAE WHEN HE WAS HURT TO GO CATCH UP WITH SOME FRIENDS," Seonghwa yelled, standing up angrily. Everyone quickly turned to me in shock, San slipping his hand from mine. I bit back a whimper and willed myself not to cry as the tears welled up in my eyes again. He's right, I did abandon him, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have left him alone like that when he was hurt and upset.

"I-I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean to," I said quickly.

"How can you accidentally abandon someone? Especially someone who's hurt, and our Maknae," Yunho asked with a frown. I didn't know how to answer that, I mean he has a point, so I stayed silent. Hongjoong sighed and I looked up at him, curling in on myself as I saw the frown on his face.

"I'm disappointed in you Yeosang. You're Jongho's Hyung, you're supposed to look after him, not leave him to have a catch up with some mates," he said shaking his head.

"Hyung wait a s-."

"It's fine Jongho, you don't need to say anything," Seonghwa cut him off. Jongho looked like he wanted to protest but stayed silent. Seonghwa turned back to me with a deep frown.

"You should be ashamed. I can't believe you would do that," he said. My eyes welled up with tears and I begun to silently cry as I saw the disappointment in everyone's eyes. I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop the panic.

"Ah fuck." We all turned in shock at Jongho's words, watching as he stood up.

"What are you doing, sit down Jon-."

"Oh piss off," Jongho grumbled, shoving Seonghwa's hand away as he tried to stop him. Did the Maknae just swear at the eldest? Everyone seemed just as shocked as I was, freezing and giving him time to hobble over to me. Jongho quickly sat down and shocked me even more by pulling me into a gentle hug. I froze in confusion as he pulled me into his arms and gently ran his fingers through my hair.

"It's ok Yeosangie Hyung, I'm not mad at you. Not at all," he said softly. What? Why isn't he angry? I left him when he needed me.

"What? Jongho he ab-."

"Hyung I love you but please shut up," Jongho said sharply, cutting off Seonghwa once again. I don't get how they aren't telling him off right now for being so rude but I think everyone is just shocked.

"I'm not angry Hyungie. I know you only ran because you were scared," he said gently. I finally let out the sob I'd been holding in and clutched to him tightly. He knows, he understands I wouldn't just leave him. He doesn't hate me.

"I never, I never meant to leave you," I whimpered.

"I know, I know you didn't. You love me and you'd never leave me if you could avoid it, I know," he said, rocking me gently.

"I didn't mean to. I just, I just got s-scared so I ran and, and then I ended up outside BigHit and saw the other two. I didn't leave you to hang out, I p-promise. I just, I ran into them and it was cold and I was crying," I said, trailing off with a sob.

"It's ok, I'm glad you found them. You should've at least grabbed you jacket though," he said, ruffling my hair softly.

"I didn't mean to leave you," I cried.

"It's ok, it's ok. I wasn't hurt. I mean I was but not because of you, I promise. I was alone for barely a minute," Jongho told me. That did make me feel slightly better, he wasn't alone for long. He had Seonghwa to look after him when I couldn't.

"I-I don't get it," Hongjoong said in confusion.

"What I tried to tell you is that Yeosang didn't abandon me as you guys keep saying. He was looking after me but he was shaking and he was breathing erratically. He was scared so he ran," Jongho explained. I raised my head and looked over at everyone as I continued to cry, trying to see how mad they were. I was surprised to see that they all actually looked guilty.

"Yeosang." I turned and looked at San, keeping my arms wrapped around Jongho.

"Why were you scared," he asked quietly. I opened my mouth before looking over at Seonghwa, closing it once again and shaking my head. It's stupid and they'll just get angry again.

"It's stupid," I sniffled. Seonghwa quickly jumped up and rushed over, making me tense slightly but he just grabbed my hands.

"I'm sorry Yeosangie, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I came back and Jongho was alone so I thought you left him and when Wooyoung told me that you were with Yeonjun and Taehyun, I just. I thought you left Jongho to go see them. I know now how stupid that sounds, you'd never do that and I'm so sorry I thought you would," he said with a sigh.

"You, you aren't mad," I asked nervously. He looked slightly stricken as he shook his head and cupped my face gently.

"No, I should've listen to what you said first Yeosang. I got angry without hearing you out and I never should have done that. This is my fault, I made the mistake, not you," he said firmly. I sniffled and let go of Jongho, reaching out for my eldest Hyung. He gladly shuffled forwards and pulled me onto his lap, holding me tightly.

"Can you tell us why you were scared aegi," he asked gently. I looked at him before looking down with a sigh.

"I uh, I'm scared of comforting people. Or I guess trying and not being able to, or messing it up further. I can't, I just can't do it. I wanted to, I really did, I promise. I tried to help him, I hugged him when he asked me too but it got to much. I was panicking and struggling to breathe. My fight or flight instincts kicked in and I wasn't about to hurt him so I ran. I just ran until I couldn't and curled up against the wall by BigHit. That's were Yeonjun and Taehyun found me," I said timidly, keeping my gaze on the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, waiting for the anger and the laughs, but they never came. Instead, I felt arms wrap around me and I looked up to see the familiar silvery-blue hair of my best friend. I then saw the orange hair of the leader and pretty soon everyone else were sitting on the floor with their arms wrapped around me as best as they could.

"It's ok Yeosangie. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, you didn't do anything wrong," Hongjoong said softly. They didn't hate me, they weren't mad, they forgave me. With that thought, I burst into tears once again, these of relief.

Seonghwa's POV

I fucked up, I fucked up real bad. I should never have yelled at Yeosang without hearing him or Jongho out about what happened. I just looked at a few facts and pieced together my own scenario. Now we're all cuddled up on the floor with Yeosang sobbing into our arms. He was scared and I berated him for it. I didn't know but I should've found out before I got angry. After a few minutes Yeosang stopped crying, just cuddled up in Wooyoung's lap. It was actually quite cute, the way he was curled up with Wooyoung, his head on Wooyoung's shoulder while the younger was resting his head on top of his. We all apologized and like the person he is, he just accepted them straight away, thankful that we weren't still angry at him. That made me feel guilty, I never should have gotten angry at him and made him too scared to tell us what happened. He should never have to be scared to tell us stuff and this is something I'm going to have to work to gain his trust back again. Being scared of something, is something that you should be able to tell those close to, not be afraid to say.

"Why don't we watch a movie? What do you think about that," Wooyoung asked Yeosang softly.

"That sounds nice, can we" Yeosang asked shyly.

"Of course we can aegi," Hongjoong said, ruffling his hair gently. We all stood up and got situated on the couches, Yeosang sitting between Wooyoung and I with San on the other side of Wooyoung. He was still cuddled up with Wooyoung so I made sure to sit as far away from him as possible. He probably doesn't want me to be near him right now but it was the only spare spot. The first episode of the Squid Game begun to play and we all relax, watching the tv. After watching for about 10 minutes, I jumped slightly when I felt a warmth in my side. I quickly looked down in surprise, my heart breaking at the hesitation in Yeosang's eyes as he curled up against my side slightly. I gave him a sad smile and quickly wrapped my arm around his waist pulling him right up to my side. He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled his head against my chest. I placed a soft kiss on the top of his head and used my sleeve to wipe away any excess tears from his face.

"I'm so sorry Yeosang," I whispered quietly.

"It's ok Hyung, really. I'm alright and Jjongie is alright, that's all that matters," he said, giving me a small smile. I squeezed his waist gently and turned back to the tv, cuddling as close as I could to the younger boy. 

A/N

This was requested by @Harry__1276 and I hope you enjoyed it :)

This was a bit longer than usual, I wanted it to be to make up for not writing much in the last few weeks.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all liked it!