Seonghwa's POV

"I need to go to the toilet," Hongjoong said as we finished eating our Sushi. I chuckled and shook my head at him.

"What? I drank a lot," he said with a shrug.

"Ok, let's go then," I said with a small smile as he rolled his eyes. We were laughing and talking as we walked down the hall that leads to the toilets when Hongjoong suddenly grabbed my arm, stopping us both.

"What's wrong," I asked in confusion.

"Shh, do you hear that," he whispered. I went quiet and listened hard. He was right, there was something. I could hear what sounded like sobs coming from the men's toilets.

"Should we go check it out, or leave them alone," I asked him.

"I dunno, what if the poor guys hurt," he said nervously. The sobs suddenly got louder and my eyes went wide, I recognized those cry.

"Hongjoong, that's Jongho," I said as I dashed towards the toilets, not waiting for him to reply but I heard him running behind me. I swung the door open quickly and went inside to see our Maknae clutching onto the sink with one hand and clutching his shirt collar with the other hand. His face was red and he had tears streaming down his face as he sobbed and gasped for air. My heart broke at the sight but I didn't dwell too long, I could tell it was a panic attack and I jumped into action. I gently grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

"His tie," I said quickly and Hongjoong quickly rushed forwards and moved Jongho's hand from his collar and loosened his tie to help him breathe a bit better. I then brought Jongho closer to me and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I made sure to place his head over my chest near my heart, in the hopes that he might find some comfort in it. I'm not sure if he even recognized Hongjoong and I with how much he was crying. He was still crying pretty hard so Hongjoong started to rub circles into his back with his hand.

"You're ok Jongho, your Hyungs are here. We'll look after you," I whispered and he seemed to start to calm down a little bit so I continued talking.

"Shh, it's ok Jongie, it's ok. Hyungs are here now, we're here," I said softly. I felt Jongho cuddle closer to me and he wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing tightly.

"Hey Jongie," I whispered . He didn't reply but I felt him nod so I continued.

"Do you know who I am baby," I asked him. Hongjoong gave me a weird look but I just gave him a sharp look to tell him not to say anything about it. I could tell Jongho heard me but he didn't say anything. He must've been tired, given the fact that he just had a panic attack so I answered for him.

"It's Seonghwa baby, and that hand on your back is Hongjoong," I told him gently. The minute he heard who we were all the tension left his body and he went almost limp in my arms. I quickly tightened mine around him so he wouldn't fall and I ended up holding him up. He started mumbling things to himself quietly but all I could make out was him saying 'My Hyungs are here' and 'I'm not alone.' I was confused but I kept him in my embrace until he slowly pulled away. When he did finally pull away, I noticed that he kept his hand fisting the bottom of my jacket and his legs were wobbling a little. I was worried his legs might give out so I wrapped my hand firmly around his waist and brought him back closer to my side.

"'m sorry," he said quietly. He went to wipe the tears from his eyes but Hongjoong bet him to it, grabbing the Maknae's hand and moving it from his face, instead wiping the tears with his own fingers.

"There's no need to be sorry baby. We're just glad you're ok," I said, ruffling his hair softly. I don't think he realised but he unconsciously leaned into my hand.

"Can you tell us what happened? What made you so upset? You were pretty deep in a panic attack," Hongjoong asked slowly, looking up at me with questioning eyes. I just nodded in reply, assuring him that what he said was fine.

"I uh, I'm sorry. I just got a little overwhelmed," he said, looking down nervously. I could tell the minute the words left his mouth, that he wasn't telling the whole truth. I looked at Hongjoong and could tell that he was thinking the exact same thing. We looked back to Jongho and raised our eyebrows at him, showing him that we didn't believe him. He was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke up again.

"Sannie left me," he whispered. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What do you mean San left you," I asked him. That's when I realised that San indeed wasn't anywhere to be seen when he was partnered up with Jongho for this shopping trip.

"H-he left. I-I was trying on c-clothes and he left," said hiccupping a little. It wasn't great what San did and I'll definitely be talking to him about it, because he should've been there when Jongho started to fall into a panic attack but I don't get why he's so upset about that.

"San shouldn't have done that but you know how he is, he probably got distracted. He'll be fine though," Hongjoong said, also seeming confused.

"H-he left me alone," Jongho said and I noticed his eyes beginning to well up with tears again. I panicked and quickly started rubbing his back.

"Shh, shh Jong, it's ok," I said as I rubbed his back to give him some comfort.

"I don't like being alone," he said, so quietly I almost didn't hear him. Huh, what does he mean by that? Hongjoong's head popped up and he studied Jongho carefully.

"What do you mean Jongho? You don't like to be alone," he asked gently.

"I-. Don't worry," Jongho replied, quickly backtracking. I could see some sort of conflict in his eyes and it worried me that he might be trying to hide something from us.

"No, what did you mean by you don't like being alone? You've been alone plenty of times before," I said as I moved in front of him, not moving my hands from his waist.

"Not really. I'm always around one of you or the other's because we do pretty much everything together," he pointed out.

"Ok, fair enough but you still haven't answered the question," Hongjoong said. I almost rolled my eyes at his bluntness but I refrained from doing it. I watched as Jongho bit his lip anxiously and looked around the room, clearly trying not to look at us.

"Hyung I'm tired. Can I just go wait in the car until everyone is ready to go home," he asked, not even hiding the fact that he was trying to avoid the question.

"We can message the other's and we'll all go home the minute you tell us why you don't like being alone," I said sternly as I moved my hands from his hips and went to back up to Hongjoong. What happened next was very unexpected and made me panic. I saw pure fear flash through Jongho's eyes and he whined in fear. He rushed to me and he flung his arms around me, squeezing tightly.

"NO. Please don't leave me alone Hyung, please don't," he pleaded and his sobs once again filled the bathroom.

"Shit, I'm sorry Jongie. Hyung's not going anywhere. We're not going to leave you alone, I promise," I said, hugging him back quickly. I looked to Hongjoong and he got the message, quickly going behind our Dongsaeng and wrapping his arms around his back, placing his chin on the youngers shoulder. As he continued to sob and gasp for air, I begun to put the pieces together and had a bit of an idea what could be happening. It seems like he's got a fear of someone leaving him or being alone but I'm not so sure if it's true. We can deal with that later, what I'm worried about now is the fact that Jongho is gripped my shirt extremely tight and having another panic attack the poor kid.

"Jongho baby, we really need you to calm down ok. We're right here, no one's going to leave you alone alright. We promise you that we're not going anywhere," I heard Hongjoong whisper to him.

"I d-don't want to be a-alone," he sobbed. My heart broke as I heard his broken cries.

"We know baby, we know," I said gently. I moved away a little bit but kept my arms around him as I learnt my lesson.

"Hyung, I can't, I can't breathe," he gasped out.

"Oh baby, it's ok. Here just listen and copy me, match my breathing," I said as I grabbed his hand and placed in onto my chest, right above my heart.

"Breathe in when I do and hold it until I breathe out," I told him. I could tell that he was trying to do as I said but as expected, it didn't work straight away. Unfortunately this caused him to panic more and his breathing quickened yet again.

"No, it's ok baby. Don't panic, just take your time. We don't expect for you to be able to do it straight away," Hongjoong said quickly. I exaggerated my breathing for a while so it was easier for him to follow and he did, slowly. It took around five minutes for Jongho to stop crying and then calm down completely. By that time I was practically holding him up completely as he was leaning against me, his head on my shoulder and his arms loosely around my waist. He was utterly exhausted which didn't surprising, having one panic attack is tiring, let alone have two within the less than 30 minutes.

"You still awake there Jongie," Hongjoong asked quickly.

"Mhm," Jongho muttered. I found myself smiling slightly at the Maknae's cuteness, despite what just happened.

"I can tell you're tired so do you want us to message the other's so we can go home," Hongjoong asked him.

"They're excited for this," Jongho said and I immediately understood what he was thinking. He didn't want to be the reason that everyone 'misses out' on the rest of this shopping trip. This kid is far too nice for his own good.

"Come on, hold onto me," I said as I gently moved his hands to wrap around my neck. I put one hand under each of his thighs and lifted him up, eliciting a little squeak from him as he tightened his grip around my neck. I chuckled and smiled down at him.

"Hyung, people are going to see," Jongho said.

"That's ok baby, wear this love," Hongjoong said as he took off his beanie and placed it on the youngers head.

"Put your head on my shoulder and close your eyes, we'll get the other's to meet us at the car," I whispered. That caused him to immediately move his head away from me but I quickly pushed it towards my shoulder. He tried to resist but didn't last long as he ended up giving in and letting me guide it to my shoulder. I began to run my finger through his hair for a couple of minutes until I felt his arms loosen a little and he went slack in my arms.

"I think he's asleep," I told Hongjoong quietly.

"Oh thank god," he said with a sigh of relief. I chuckled sadly at his reaction and he winced.

"Sorry, I just didn't want him to keep getting so worked up and he needs the sleep, he seemed exhausted," he said sadly.

"I know," I replied with a nod.

"So he's got a fear of being alone," he said, breaking the silence that had emerged.

"He should've told us but it doesn't surprise me that he didn't. We all know how much he tries to act like this indestructible, strong Maknae," I said, moving around so I had one arm under his thighs to hold him up and one on his back to keep him stable.

"I'm gonna kill San when I find him, just thought I should give you the heads up," he said frowning deeply. I was going to tell him to give him some slack but then I remembered what Jongho said. He left when Jongho was trying on clothes in a store, which means it was most likely deliberate.

"Why do you think he left," I asked him. His eyes turned dark and they narrowed, clearly showing that he knew exactly why.

"What," I asked confused.

"I know a certain duo that San would easily be distracted by and go off with without a second thought," he said. Oh my god, of course, Yeosang and Wooyoung.

"I swear if Jongho just had two panic attacks all because San wanted to be with those two, I'm going to be so mad. I don't care that none of us knew about his possible fear, anything could've happened to the Maknae and he just left him alone without any warning," I said rubbing Jongho's back to calm me down a little.

"We'll talk to them later if that is the case but right now we should get everyone back to the van and take him home," Hongjoong replied.

"Can you put a mask on him though, I don't want to risk anyone taking photos," I replied. He nodded and pulled a mask from his pocket, quickly and gently putting it on Jongho's face. Once it was on, Joong took out his phone and sent a message to the group chat telling them to all immediately go to the van and we'll be heading home. After that, he pocketed his phone and nodded to me that we were good to go. We left the bathroom, Jongho still in my arms, and walked out the hall into the open. I was thankful that it wasn't too loud which meant Jongho didn't wake up at all during the whole walk to the car. We went slowly so that I wouldn't accidentally jostle him or wake him up. That being the case, it wasn't surprising that everyone was already by the van, talking and laughing. They stopped when they saw us and gave confused looks.

"Is he asleep," San asked with a giggle, making the other's chuckle. I don't know why, maybe it was because San was the one supposed to be looking after him but I found myself angry at his words.

"Be quiet and get in the van, NOW," I said sternly. His face dropped and everyone else went quiet at my words. I felt Jongho start to move a little in my arms and I quickly backtracked.

"Shh baby. You're tired, go back to sleep ok," I said gently. I heard him mutter something before his arms tightened around my neck and then he stopped moving.

"Hyung, is he ok," Yunho asked quietly as everyone looked more closely at the youngest.

"Just get in the van so we can go," I said ignoring the question. Hongjoong opened the door and I went in, going all the way to the back with Jongho still in my arms. I contemplated putting him down on the seat next to me but I was worried about what may happen if he woke up and got scared again so I kept holding onto him. Hongjoong sat down on the other window seat and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Just in case he wakes up," I explained and he nodded as everyone else got into the van and sat down in seats. The drive home was silent and slightly tense but I didn't really care, so long as Jongho was comfortable and sleeping in my arms. When we finally got back, everyone grabbed their bags and left the van, going inside. Hongjoong told everyone to wait in the living room before we both took Jongho to his room and tucked him into bed, making sure to leave the door open when we left just in case something happened. When we walked back out, Wooyoung, San and Yunho were on one couch (Wooyoung practically sitting in San's lap as they cuddled), Yeosang and Mingi were sitting on the other couch just waiting patiently. Hongjoong and I both grabbed chairs from the table and sat down on them, facing the other's. It was quiet for a few seconds before I talked.

"Where were you San," I asked him. He looked confused at my words.

"What do you mean," he asked me.

"You weren't with Jongho obviously," I said frowning.

"Oh. I came across Sangie and Wooyoung so I was talking with them for a bit," he said with a shrug.

"Are you kidding me," Hongjoong asked angrily before I could even reply.

"N-no," San replied nervously, looking between Hongjoong and I.

"You left the Maknae alone, in a shopping centre when anything could've happened, there could have been a sasaeng or something and he would've been alone. You left him by himself because you just wanted to talk with Wooyoung and Yeosang. Not even just that, but you didn't even tell the poor boy that you were leaving, you just disappeared while he was trying on clothes," Hongjoong said as his fists clenched. When I saw San's face drop and the worry cross his face, I felt bad for him but then images of a panicked Jongho flashed through in my mind and I decided that San really needed this, as did the other's.

"He's not a baby, he can handle himself," San said awkwardly.

"He's our Maknae, our baby," I said.

"Hyung, don't you think you're going a bit overboard," Wooyoung asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Going overboard? Seriously? We have the system of going in pair to make sure everyone is protected. He just left him alone and didn't say anything, he could've waited and Jongho could've just gone with you," I said shaking my head.

"Ok, so he left Jongho alone, he made a mistake so we learn and move on. No one was hurt, you don't need to get so angry," Wooyoung replied. I was about to say something else when I heard what sounded like a small cry. Shit, that was quick. I jumped up and ran to Jongho's bed, finding him sitting up in bed and crying. I rushed over to him and sat down pulling him into my arms quickly.

"Hey baby, it's ok, I didn't mean to leave you alone. Hyung was just telling Sannie off for leaving you and I wanted let you sleep a bit," I said, running my fingers through his hair.

"You're not alone Jongie," Hongjoong said as he joined us on the bed. Jongho sniffled and rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.

"I'm sorry. I'm such a baby," he said covering his face with his hands.

"It's ok, we don't mind and you're not a baby. Well I mean, you're our baby but you aren't a baby, if that makes sense," I said, confusing even myself but Jongho let out a small chuckle so I was glad I confused myself.

"Jongie." I looked up to see all of the other boys standing by the door watching the three of us on the bed.

"Sannie," Jongho whimpered as he turned his head and looked at the boys, namely San. San looked conflicted as if he was trying to piece something together and was worried as Jongho was crying. The other's all seemed wary about the Maknae crying as well. Jongho started squirming in my grip so I let him go and he immediately jumped up and barrelled into San's arms and began crying again. I honestly don't get how someone could cry that much, let alone Jongho who never cries. San leaving him suddenly must've triggered something and now he can't get a break.

"You, you left me. W-why did you leave me. I'm sorry if I did something wrong, just please don't leave me," he sobbed, clutching onto San's jacket. San's eyes went wide and he quickly wrapped his arms around Jongho.

"I'm sorry, I'll do better but please don't leave me," he begged.

"Hyung," Mingi questioned. They all looked worried as they watched San rubbing Jongho's back gently.

"Jongho. San didn't mean to leave you, he just wasn't thinking properly," I said softly as I walked over and gently placed my hand on his shoulder. I was glad that the Maknae was only crying and upset and wasn't having a panic attack because that would've probably given me a panic attack worrying about how exhausted he would be.

"Jongho, I'm so sorry for leaving you but I'm here now and I promise I won't do it again," San said softly. I could tell he still couldn't 100% understand what was going on but he could tell that Jongho needed the reassurance of him not leaving which I'm glad he noticed. Jongho relaxed a little in his arms but didn't let go, instead nuzzling his nose closer to the older's neck.

"Why don't we all go back to the living room and sit down. I think we all need to talk," Hongjoong said. I was about to quickly tell San not to let Jongho go but San seemed to realize that as he kept a firm arm around Jongho's shoulder and guided him over to the couch. Woo, San and Jongho were on one couch, the two older ones on either side of the Maknae, cuddling up to him. Yeosang sat on the ground and was slightly leaning back against Jongho's leg's, Yunho and Mingi were on the opposite couch and Hongjoong and I were in the chairs again. We waited in silence for a couple of minutes until Jongho completely stopped crying and he gave me a weak nod.

"Ok, so first of all, we'll tell you why we left early," I said, turning to Hongjoong to continue.

"Jongho had a panic attack, well two to be exact," he started. There were gasps all around the room and Yeosang moved so that he could grab the Maknae's hand in his.

"As you all know, panic attacks can be tiring, two that happen almost consecutively, it would make you exhausted," Hongjoong finished.

"But, why," Wooyoung asked the Maknae quietly. I crossed my fingers in hope that he would answer because I wanted a confirmed answer as to why he got so upset today.

"Have you guys ever heard of Monophobia," he asked quietly as he fiddled with Yeosang's hand. Most of us looked confused, except surprisingly, San. He looked pained and his eyes started to glisten. No one else seemed to realise but I watched as he began to silently cry and brought the cuff of his sleeve up to his mouth and bit it to try and keep quiet. I didn't want to bring too much attention to him as this was about Jongho and he most likely didn't want to have a lot of attention but I wasn't going to let him just sit there and cry. I managed to catch Yeosang's eyes and I flicked mine up to San. Yeosang furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before he looked over at San and his eyes softened. Whether he admits it or not, Yeosang has always had a soft spot for San. He gently placed the hand that Jongho wasn't holding, onto San's knee. San immediately grabbed in into his own and linked their fingers, relaxing a little but still crying. While this was happening the other's asked about the phobia.

"I've heard of it but I don't know what it means," Yunho said.

"Uh, Monophobia is basically the fear of being alone. There's not much of a description but it can vary a lot," Jongho said quietly. Judging by his reaction earlier today, this doesn't surprise me.

"So, you get scared if you're left alone. How have we never noticed before," Mingi asked.

"It's never been very bad for me and it's not necessarily just being alone, it's more so if someone leaves me suddenly and then I'm left alone. You never realised because I never said anything and I haven't had a bad reaction with it since I met you guys," Jongho said with a shrug.

"Oh. So it happened now because..." Wooyoung trailed off as he turned his head towards San and his eyes went wide.

"Sannie," he exclaimed, jumping up and rushing over to San's side when he realised that San was crying. Everyone else turned to him and were surprised to see him crying.

"Sannie, what's wrong," Wooyoung asked worriedly as he gave him a hug.

"D-don't," San whimpered, shoving Wooyoung away from him.

"Look after Jongho," San said before jumping off the couch and running off. A couple of seconds later there was a door slam and a click, meaning he locked himself in his room.

"Is he ok," Jongho asked quietly.

"He'll be fine, but right now we're focusing on you ok," I said, softly. He looked conflicted but nodded as Wooyoung slowly sat back down.

"Why did you never tell us about this? Even if it's been a while, it's still something that we should know. What would've happened if Hwa and I didn't find you in the bathroom today? You could've passed out or someone could've taken you because you were too overwhelmed," Hongjoong said sternly but with a soft edge to show that he wasn't mad just giving him a lesson.

"I'm sorry Hyung, I just didn't want anyone knowing. It's embarrassing that I'm a 20 year old guy that panics when people he cares about goes somewhere that I don't know about," he said shaking his head as his cheeks went pink.

"Jongie, you should know that we would never care about that," Yeosang said shaking his head as he got up and sat down where San was previously sitting.

"I know you guys aren't like that but for some reason my brain was telling me that you would care and would tease me," he said honestly.

"We would never do that to you Jongho. Family doesn't hurt each other," Mingi said gently.

"I know, and I'm sorry," he replied quietly.

"There's no need to be sorry. You made a mistake and you'll learn from it ok," Hongjoong said. Jongho still looked a bit upset but he nodded.

"Can I ask a question," Wooyoung asked suddenly. Jongho turned to him and nodded slowly.

"Why didn't you call one of us? Or even just call San," he asked. Actually, that's a very good question. I didn't even think about that, he did indeed have a phone on him.

"I, I forgot," the youngest replied, seeming confused himself.

"You forgot to call someone or that you had a phone," Yeosang asked.

"I forgot that I had a phone on me. I was too busy panicking," Jongho replied blushing and looking down.

"That's ok, we understand," I said quickly as the other's nodded. It is understandable, he was scared and alone.

"Is there anything else that anyone wants to say before I continue," I asked, looking to everyone.

"I just wanted to say sorry," Yeosang said suddenly. That wasn't what I was expecting.

"For what," Jongho asked confused.

"For not waiting for you or telling San to stay with you," he replied quietly.

"Oh, that's fine Hyung. I'm ok really," Jongho said shaking his head.

"Tell that to the two panic attacks you had earlier," Mingi said quietly. The silence was awkward for a bit before I spoke up.

"Ok, so now that we know about this we should have some precautions in place to make sure something like this doesn't happen again," I spoke up.

"It's fine Hyung. This was probably just a freak accident, it didn't help that we've all been a bit stressed by now," Jongho said quickly.

"It doesn't matter if you think it's just a freak accident Jong, I agree with Hwa we need to just be safe," Hongjoong said shaking his head. Jongho pouted but didn't say anything and snuggled closer to Wooyoung who wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"From now on when we're out someone has to stay with him at all times. Although it should be a given that everyone always has at least one other person with them anyway. I also want everyone to just let each other know where we're going, message the group chat or something. And Jongho, we need you to call us or come to us if you ever feel like you're going to panic ok," I said, looking between everyone. Everyone slowly nodded as they took in my words.

"Alright. Jongie do you want to have a little bit of a nap," Hongjoong asked him. He immediately shook his head quickly.

"Aren't you tired," Yunho asked surprised.

"A little bit, but not too bad," he replied with a shrug.

"You should still rest a bit then now," I told him.

"No, I said I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Tell you what. Wy don't you see if you can cuddle with him and then when you wake up, you can talk to him. He feels guilty so he's not going to say no," Wooyoung said softly. I raised an eyebrow at him not quite understanding what he was saying but Jongho nodded eagerly.

"Come on," Woo whispered as he grabbed the Maknae's hand and gently pulled him up and down the hall. I only realised what he meant when I saw Jongho softly knocking on San's door.

A/N

Here is part 2, there will be one more part to this. This was quite a long chapter, a lot longer than I usually write so I'm sorry if you don't like longer chapter's. I was gonna decide between 2 small chapters and 1 slightly longer one. So I ended up deciding on the longer as I didn't want too many parts

Despite that, I hope you still enjoyed the chapter despite the length and feel free to leave any feedback.

I hope you're having a great day or night!