Jongho's POV

"Come on guys hurry up. We never get to go shopping and at this rate we're only going to have a couple of hours to do anything," Wooyoung said as he pouted.

"Yeah, we want to get some new clothes," San said as he flung his arm over Wooyoung's shoulder.

"Just be patient you two, Yunho is just brushing his teeth and then we'll go and you guys will have plenty of time to shop," Hongjoong said rolling his eyes.

"But Hyung-."

"If you keep complaining then you two can stay home while the rest of us go shopping," Seonghwa. Yeosang cracked up laughing at the look on San and Wooyoung's shocked faces.

"Sorry guys, I'm done now so we can go," Yunho said as he quickly ran down the stairs, almost tripping over his shoelaces. I chuckled and quickly bent down to tie them up for him as Wooyoung, San and Yeosang rushed outside to get to the van.

"Thanks Jong," Yunho said as I stood back up after finishing tying his laces up. I gave him a small smile as we all went outside and into the van. Yeosang, San and Wooyoung sat in the very back of the van, Mingi, Yunho and I sat in the middle and Hongjoong and Seonghwa sat in the front row.

"How far away from the shopping centre are we," I asked Hongjoong.

"Not too far away, about 10 minutes. Why? You doing ok," he asked looking me up and down quickly. Sometimes my Hyungs can be a bit too overprotective, getting all worried when I ask a simple question. It's nice though, it shows that they care about me.

"Yeah, of course. I was just wondering," I said with a shrug. Truthfully, I was a bit nervous. You see, I'm always shown as the strong and masculine Maknae, the one who can break apples with his bare hands. And it's true, I can do that but that doesn't mean I'm just completely strong. The truth is, I have something called Monophobia. Monophobia is the fear of being alone or lonely, which basically means I freak out if I'm left alone. I know, not very manly but I can't help it. I've never told any of the boys, mainly because I've never really been left alone, not when I have 7 brothers and are constantly together but I'm also embarrassed and don't want anyone knowing. Unfortunately, something feels off about today and I have a feeling it's not going to end well...

~~~~~

"Ok, so listen up everyone because I'm only going to be saying this once. We're going to be in pairs while we walk around and film. Keep your cameras on because we don't have any staff filming us today. If there's a problem, just call out and get security to help alright," Hongjoong said.

"Who are our partners," Yeosang asked as he shuffled a little bit closer to Wooyoung and tried to discretely grab the cuff of his sleeve but I was already watching him so I saw the movement. Wooyoung smiled slightly but other than that, didn't react.

"Do you guys want to pick your own partners or shall we do a task to decide," Hongjoong replied.

"Let's just partner up, it's quicker and easier. I'll go with Sangie," Wooyoung said as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Wow, not at all insulted," San said with a pout, making Wooyoung and Yeosang immediately falter.

"Don't worry Sannie, I'll go with you," I said quickly, not wanting him to feel left out as the other two went together.

"See guys, Jongho appreciates me," he said, bounding over to me and wrapping his arms around my neck. I resisted the urge to shove him off and instead just stood there and let him give me a hug.

"I'll go with Mingi," Yunho spoke up.

"Alright it's settled then. I guess I'll go with Seonghwa," Hongjoong said.

"Why does it sound like you've ended up stuck with me," Seonghwa asked raising and eyebrow at the leader.

"What, no. No, I didn't mean it like that," Hongjoong said quickly as he panicked.

"I'm joking Joongie," Seonghwa chuckled and the younger immediately relaxed.

"I knew that. So everyone, we have about 4 hours to walk around and do whatever, no getting into trouble though, before we need to head back to the dorms and get ready for a quick dance practice going over the choreo," Hongjoong told us.

"Keep your phones on and call either Hongjoong or I if you need help," the eldest said.

"Is that all," Wooyoung asked innocently as the rest of us tried not to laugh at him trying to hide his disrespectfulness.

"Yes Wooyoung, that is all. You can go now since you're so eager," Seonghwa said rolling his eyes. Woosang and Yungi immediately rushed off and went to different stores. Hongjoong and Seonghwa waved before walking off towards the food court, of course they get food first.

"Where do you want to go first," San asked me.

"I don't really mind Hyung, you can choose," I said with a shrug. He wrinkled his nose a little before looking around.

"Do you want to go to fila? I want to get a new hoodie," he asked.

"Sure, let's go," I said with a nod.

We spent the next 2 hours walking around and looking through the different stores, only stopping to eat some food and relax a little. It was quite fun, spending some time with one of my Hyungs and everything was going well. That is, until we went to Adidas. I went into the change room for a couple of minutes to try on some jeans but when I came back out San was nowhere to be seen. I quickly willed myself not to panic, I mean he's obviously just walking around the store. He wouldn't have left me alone, would he? I chuckled nervously to myself before beginning to walk around the store to see if I could spot San anywhere. After walking around for about 20 minutes and not seeing a single sign of Sannie anywhere, nor any of my other Hyungs I went back to the front. My anxiety spiked as I stopped outside the store and looked around, seeing lots of people that I don't recognize walking around the shopping centre. I bit my lip anxiously and slowly stepped out of the store and into the halls. I felt small, despite the fact that I was taller than quite a lot of the people walking around and I backed up as close to the wall as I could. Did San just leave me? Why would he do that? I thought he cared about me but obviously I was wrong, someone who cared wouldn't just leave someone alone when you're supposed to be looking after them. Despite there being so many people around me, walking past and talking, I felt alone. And when I feel alone, I get scared and worry that something bad might happen. My heartbeat began to increase and I felt my chest get tight and as every second passed, I found it harder and harder to breathe. I whimpered and quickly turned down a small hall that would lead to the toilets. Part of me was thankful that no one was down that hall but the rest of me just wished that I could see a friendly face, someone I know and can trust. Instead I'm standing alone in hall that leads to toilets, most likely having a panic attack. I felt tears begin to fall down my face and I quickly went into the men's toilets. This time I was thankful that there was no one there because I didn't want a stranger witnessing me being a baby and balling my eyes out. I began to sob as I clutched onto the sink with one hand and gripped the collar of my shirt with my other hand. I gasped for air and kept thinking about how San had left me. He doesn't care about me, he left me alone, abandoned me. I started to feel dizzy and my stomach churned, my eyes blurring over with tears. I felt like I was about a couple of minutes from passing out when a hand gently gripped my shoulder and I was turned around. I could hardly see through my tears but I could make out two people, one with familiar looking red hair. My tie was loosened and arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me close and directing my head onto their chest. My mind was too fuzzy to comprehend much but for some reason I felt safe in the arms, like nothing could hurt me. I listened to the heartbeat, still sobbing as another hand was placed on my back and started to rub slowly. As I slowly began to stop crying, I realised that someone was talking softly to me so I focused more on the voice, hoping to get more comfort.

"Shh, it's ok Jongie, it's ok. Hyungs are here now, we're here." I pushed myself further into the arms that were holding me, wrapping my own arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

"Hey, Jongie can you hear me," the voice asked gently. I nodded mutely as despite the fact I wasn't crying anymore, I felt drained and sleepy.

"Do you know who I am baby," they whispered. I was too tired to try and think so instead I just kept quiet. When he realised I wasn't replying, he continued.

"It's Seonghwa baby, and that hand on your back is Hongjoong," he whispered. I felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I sagged in relief, falling into the embrace so Seonghwa was basically holding me up. My Hyungs were here, Seonghwa Hyung and Hongjoong Hyung are with me right now which means I'm not alone. I'm not alone, my Hyung are with me. I kept repeating it to myself until it finally sunk in. I was no longer alone which means I didn't need to be scared anymore. I slowly pulled away from Seonghwa's embrace but kept my hand gripping his jacket, just to remind me that I really wasn't alone anymore. My legs felt like lead and I almost fell to the floor but a strong hand was wrapped around my waist and Seonghwa brought me closer to him, holding me up.

"'m sorry," I said, quickly trying to wipe my eyes with my free hand. Hongjoong quickly grabbed my hand and rubbed his finger over the back of my hand, using his own to rub the tears from my eyes.

"There's no need to be sorry baby. We're just glad you're ok," Seonghwa said as he ruffled my hair gently.

"Can you tell us what happened? What made you so upset? You were pretty deep in a panic attack," Hongjoong said slowly.

"I uh, I'm sorry. I just got a little overwhelmed," I said nervously. I mean it's not exactly a lie, it's just not the whole truth. They looked at each other before looking back at me and Hongjoong raised his eyebrow, clearly not believing what I said.

"Sannie left me," I whispered.

"What do you mean San left you," Seonghwa asked in confusion.

"H-he left. I-I was trying on c-clothes and he left," I hiccupped. I could see that they seemed confused as to why that had me so upset.

"San shouldn't have done that but you know how he is, he probably got distracted. He'll be fine though," Hongjoong said.

"H-he left me alone," I said as tears started to well up in my eyes.

"Shh, shh Jong, it's ok," Seonghwa said as he started rubbing my back.

"I don't like being alone," I whispered. I hoped I may have said it quiet enough for them to not hear but they both perked up a little at my words.

"What do you mean Jongho? You don't like to be alone," Hongjoong asked softly.

"I-. Don't worry," I said quickly. I regretted telling them the minute the words left my lips.

"No, what did you mean by you don't like being alone? You've been alone plenty of times before," Seonghwa asked as he stepped in front of my but still kept his hand on my waist.

"Not really. I'm always around one of you or the other's because we do pretty much everything together," I replied.

"Ok, fair enough but you still haven't answered the question," Hongjoong pointed out. I bit my lip nervously and looked around. It was only then that I remember we were in the bathroom. It would probably look weird to anyone who walked in to go to the toilet and saw us just talking.

"Hyung I'm tired. Can I just go wait in the car until everyone is ready to go home," I asked quietly, still trying to avoid the question.

"We can message the other's and we'll all go home the minute you tell us why you don't like being alone," Seonghwa said, moving his hand away from my hip. I whined and immediately wanted the contact back as it was the one thing that kept reminding me that I wasn't alone. I quickly rushed forwards and wrapped my arms around my eldest Hyung desperately, fearing that they might leave me alone again.

"NO. Please don't leave me alone Hyung, please don't," I begged as I began to sob again.

"Shit, I'm sorry Jongie. Hyung's not going anywhere. We're not going to leave you alone, I promise," Seonghwa said quickly as he wrapped his arms around me tightly. Hongjoong must've quickly joined the hug as I felt arms wrap around my back and a chin was rested on my shoulder. I continued to sob and sob, feeling overwhelmed as I fell into another panic attack. I gasped for air and gripped as tightly as I could to Seonghwa's shirt, my chest constricting again.

"Jongho baby, we really need you to calm down ok. We're right here, no one's going to leave you alone alright. We promise you that we're not going anywhere," Hongjoong whispered into my ear.

"I d-don't want to be a-alone," I sobbed.

"We know baby, we know," Seonghwa said gently.

"Hyung, I can't, I can't breathe," I gasped.

"Oh baby, it's ok. Here just listen and copy me, match my breathing," Seonghwa said as he pulled away slightly so he could look at me. He grabbed my hand and quickly put it on his chest.

"Breathe in when I do and hold it until I breathe out," he told me. I tried my best to follow along but my breathing was still too fast and I began to panic more.

"No, it's ok baby. Don't panic, just take your time. We don't expect for you to be able to do it straight away," Hongjoong said encouragingly. It took a full five minutes before I managed to calm down again and by that time I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I was leaning fully against Seonghwa, with my head on his shoulder and my arms loosely wrapped around his waist.

"You still awake there Jongie," I heard Hongjoong whisper into my ear.

"Mhm," I mumbled.

"I can tell you're tired so do you want us to message the other's so we can go home," he asked me.

"They're excited for this," I whispered. I don't want them to miss out on having a good time just because I've got a stupid fear about being left alone.

"Come on, hold onto me," Seonghwa said as he moved my hands around his neck. I was confused but a couple of seconds later I felt hands around my thighs and I was lifted up into the hair. I squeaked and quickly tightened my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist to keep myself stable. I felt him chuckle and my cheeks heated up in embarrassment at being carried by my Hyung.

"Hyung, people are gonna see," I said quickly.

"That's ok baby, wear this love," Hongjoong said and I felt something be placed on my head. It took me a couple of seconds to realise that it was Hongjoong's beanie.

"Put your head on my shoulder and close your eyes, we'll get the other's to meet us at the car," Seonghwa whispered. I tried to resist but he pushed my head onto his shoulder and began to run his fingers through my hair. The last thing I remember before I drifted off was a small kiss being placed on my forehead...

A/N

Here is my first official post of a fic on this story, so I hope you enjoy :)

Feel free to leave any comments and let me know what you think!