the impossible has happened and i'm back for another chapter!

okay so i'm probably too old for this at this point but honestly who cares. also--i haven't read the books in over two years, but i am a whole lot better at writing dialogue and writing in general, so expect this chapter to be both better and worse.

i might give up halfway through like i have in other ones, but i'll try my hardest not to. we'll see. this writing style is honestly so repetitive it's exhausting. 

*the keeper crew--Sophie, Keefe, Dex, Biana, and Fitz--are teleported into a gray room, with large speakers in the corners.*

Sophie: Oh gosh, another one of these?

Dex: Sophie, what are those? *he points to the speakers*

Sophie: Speakers, I guess? They're for playing music.

Dex: *walks over to them, begins investigating.* They're so complicated, though. That seems completely counterintuitive.

Keefe: Counter-what-now?

Dex: Okay, y'know what, it doesn't matter. Doggo_Gal, what torture is planned for us today?

Me: Torture?! I'm so insulted. Actually, we're listening to the tortured poets department!

Sophie: *groans.* Ugh, seriously?

Biana: Oh, I've heard of that! Isn't it by Taylor Swift? It's human music, guys, I bet it's super good.

Sophie: Not this one.

Fitz: Yeah, why don't we listen to something else? Sophie's the expert on humans, and if she doesn't like it, I bet it's not very good anyways.

Keefe: I'm curious now. C'mon, Fitzster, cover your ears if you've gotta. Doggo_Gal, turn up the beats!

Me: *pulls my phone out of my pocket.*

Dex: Oh, how does that work?

Me: *presses a button, starting with fortnight*

Sophie: Post Malone is so much better than Taylor Swift.

Me: Wrong once again. Everyone else, opinions so far?

Keefe: *frowning* it's very... quiet.

Fitz: Sophie was right. 

Biana: It's nice I guess, but I don't know, I like 1989 more.

Sophie: How do you even know all those albums, Biana?

Biana: *flips her hair over her shoulder* I do my research. Especially when it comes to T-Swizzle!

Fitz: *groaning* please never say that word again, Biana. 

Biana: *rapping* I'm like eight foot four, blonde hair to the floor, you shorties never thought I dreamed about rapping hardcore! I'm so gangsta you can find me baking cookies at night--

Keefe: *absolutely vibing* ...you out clubbing, well I just made caramel delight!

Biana: *high fives Keefe* you get it!

Fitz: Okay, bonding party over. Can we turn on something else?

Me: Well, what vibe are you feeling, Fitz?

Dex: Something less synth, maybe?

Me: It's all synth. The genre is synth-pop.

Biana: See, Dex, I totally coulda told you that.

Me: I'll play I hate it here, that one's guitar--I think. Can't really tell the difference between string instruments. *turns on the song*

*Everyone listens for a moment*

Keefe: You should play that song Biana was singing, I liked it more. 

Me: That's not a released--okay, it doesn't matter. We're listening to this. Deal with it. 

Keefe: Fine, I'm dealing. Not enjoying it though! The tortured poets department is really living up to the 'torture' title.

Sophie: So right. 

Me: So wrong. 

Dex: This one's so sad!

Me: You should hear Robin--or Ronan!

Dex: Are all the sad Taylor Swift songs five letter names starting with R?

Biana: Pretty much. Don't play them though, Doggo_Gal! I cry every time I hear Ronan. 

Fitz: Seriously? You cry over a song?

Biana: Oh, shut up, you cried about Bluey losing his mother in a shopping mall when you were little. 

Fitz: *glancing at Sophie, embarrassed* I was five! 

Biana: *grins at Sophie*

Me: Moving on from whatever that was... any other song ideas?

Biana: I'm still thinking 1989!

Sophie: Other artists! There's so many good human artists. But Taylor Swift is so overrated.

Me: ...okay, pick me. Anyways! Olivia Rodrigo? Gracie Abrams? Sabrina Carpenter?

Biana: Ooh, yes please!

Fitz: Aren't those all like the same person?

Me: Um, excuse you, no, they're completely different people. Would you like me to say you and Alvar are the same person?

Fitz: What?! No, we're completely different!

Keefe: Hehe, she totally got you, Fitzipoo 

Me: Take that, Fitzingly. 

Dex: What are these nicknames?

Keefe: You gotta admit they're hilarious, T-Dex!

Sophie: So are we done yet? Can we move on?

Me: Okay, just because you're the main character, I'll let you pick another artist, Sophie. 

Sophie: Frank Ocean!

Me: I don't really listen--okay, whatever. We'll start with Ivy. 

Sophie: Overpopular, but okay. 

Biana: Why don't we just do like Sabrina Carpenter or Lana del Rey? 

Me: Lana del Rey it is! *plays born to die*

Biana: *singing along* 'cause you and I... we were born to dieeeee

Sophie: Isn't everyone technically born to die?

Fitz: Elves live forever, remember? 

Keefe: Yeah, we're immortal! And practically gods. I don't see why humans don't worship us!

Sophie: *makes a face*

Keefe: Kidding, kidding. 

Dex: I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't, your ego's big enough for that

Keefe: Ooh, burn!

Biana: You're not supposed to say that when you're the one being burned, Keefe

Keefe: What can I say, I'm a rebel!

Sophie: Oh, you wish you were a rebel. 

Keefe: *winking* You know me too well. 

Fitz: *grumbling* get a room. 

Me: Fitz, do you really want to be alone with Dex and Biana?

Dex: Hey!

Biana: Fair.

Fitz: *glancing over at Dex and Biana* Fine. Are we done yet?

Me: Well, does anyone have any more song requests?

Sophie: Pleaseee no. Let's just be done!

Me: Whatever the protagonist says!

***

okay so this chapter was kinda short (abt 864 words which i am now realizing is veryyy short) but honestly i had nothing else to write so here you go! enjoy. this was never supposed to exist, but here it is. 

8-4-24