Alayna was elated. Her eyes were, after a week of being shrouded in deep tears ; so dark heavy and dreary, she had found happiness. Her husband was back in the well of her arms, his soft kisses that were what woke her up in the morning, his smooth words that toasted her just as well as he toasted bread, his food that he prepared and force fed her — even when she was sat in the hospital chair expecting the worst. Every now and then, he would pop in and out of her office too, bringing the oh so beloved lambay donuts — anything to keep her mind off of her decaying father.

An efficient routine had formed amongst them in silence, from work to hospital, to work and back home. In between were stolen moments that they captured from the terrifying grip of society. It had kept them well apart, the topic of who her mother was lingered around like an open sore, it's ache opening memories that like unfiltered bacteria destroyed the life. It was pure torture, keeping Emir to herself, or to send him back to Italy where his heart was. Where his parents lived. Where the name of his family was like the glowing sun — everlasting.

"You should go back to Italy. Your parents await you."

Alayna only knew the punch to her gut as she spoke those words. Confined in the car, moving on the highway with speed building up at an insane speed. Emir looked at her for a second, his gaze back on the meadows beside the road, cattle and livestock free to live and breath as they wished. The heater made soft whizzing sounds and it's warm air was the perfect excuse to explain the dusky red building up on her cheek. Her eyes, trained on her lap, fiddling with the rings in her fingers. Would her heart survive losing the only two members of her family at the same time?

"I don't think I should leave you alone right now Alayna."

He sighed, his brows bunched over the gap between his eyes. Trapped in the space, struggling to breathe as he thought of the havoc he had just wreaked. The blue skies that spoke of hope, the soft white clouds like inanimate decor — perfect to be discarded at any given moment reminded him of his own-self. He was the perfect accessory in the well built lives, he wanted for once to follow his heart — not the duties that bound him.

"Emir?"

She waved her hand in front of his eyes. Lost in a world of his own, he looked troubled — she hoped the contorted muscles were indication of that. Or else it would be a huge embarrassment.

"Where are you lost? Is everything alright? You seem a bit troubled."

Way to go miss obvious — her mind rolled it's metaphorical eyes at her. Alayna ignored the logical part of her, sliding her hand over his thigh she squeezed it in reassurance. With a humble smile, Emir kissed the back of her soft palm. Glad that he was not driving. He held them to his eyes, the soft vanilla bean scent of her hand lotion calmed his anxious heart, how he wished things could always remain so simple. Just the two of them — and nothing in between.

"I don't want to go back to Italy. Please — don't ask me to leave," he whimpered.

Alayna was flabbergasted. In the weeks she had known him, never had she seen him so lost. Gone was the bright spark inside his eyes. The scrambled expression of his face, the deep dark circles, messy hair — how had she imagined things were alright? In the flossy fairytale of her pastel life, at the hands of her still henna reeking palms, she had stroked the neck of his story — forcing them all into a large box, she had been selfish. For once, Alayna thought of the consequences. For once, she wished she could change the outcomes.

"I'm — I have no words to say," Alayna gauged her thoughts.

Steering the car to the nearest exit she stopped in an empty place. For miles, there was no one. Just them, the car, and their problems that had been brushed under the rug. Unbuckling her belt, she turned to him, her wrists she held to her eyes and kissed the inside of them — a soft gesture, yet it spoke volumes.

"I'm sorry Emir. I've been so blind — so selfish to your suffering. I don't deserve you."

"Don't apologize. You know Alayna, I admire something about you more than I admire anything else. It's the trait to put yourself first. Shaid zindagi mein pehli baar khush hun, mujhe ap, ap sai juda honay ka na kahein. Yeh sadma mein aur mera dil bardasht nahi kar pain gai."
[Perhaps for the first time in my life I'm happy, please you, you don't ask of me to leave you. My heart and I can not bear this heartache.]

With every word the light inside his eyes dimmed. A pallor took his face kn it's grip, his fingers deftly wrapped around hers turned numb — cold to the touch. Eyes rimmed red, lips in constant denial as he lived through what Alayna could only imagine was the pent up frustration and trauma from his childhood. He feared abandonment too — their hearts were more alike.
Their pain was unanimous.
And the love they longed for, was blossoming in between them — without fail.

"Ap ko mein apnay ap sai dur kaisay kar sakti hun? Ap keh bagheir mera koi wajood hi nahi hai. Magar ap keh maa baap keh ap keh up haq hain, unko nazar andaz nahi kar saktay." She replied.
[How can I send you away from myself? Without you I am nothing. However, your parents have some rights on you, you can not ignore them.]

She reached out to touch his face, her fingers stroked his beard, calmness immediately returning to his face. Her lips grazed the top of his cheekbones, the closeness of their warm skins gave him hope — it was not a dream. He was very much beside Alayna. Tears clouded their visions the longer they stared at each other, their hearts opened and the pain wrapped itself around them in a tight grip. Squeezing them, an ache in their ribs as they cried in the arms of one another. Their hearts beating as one and praying, with every beat to their Creator.

Let the tears of anguish,
wash away the pain,
Let the happiness brandish,
grace them with only gain,
— and to their hearts give freedom, all must vanish;
— and may their suffering not be in vain.

📜

"So you admire me eh?"

Staring at Emir from the corner of her eye, as she steered the car into the hospital parking lot she grinned. They had received a life changing call — her father was awake. Like a wild woman, she broke all rules, almost crushing the barriers in her path as she swerved near the curb. Emir was busy whispering his last prayers, his heart in his throat as she drove without care. The wind in her hair, from the pulled down mirrors and the grin after knowing her dad was okay gifted her a glow. Illuminated the skin and brought out the youthfulness that had been lost somewhere.

"Oh for god's sake Alayna. Let's not talk about it." He said.

"No but dearest trophy husband of mine, it was very flattering to know that my husband admires me."

With a buoyant radiance surrounding her head in a halo, she turned to him, winking in his direction. Her hands reached out to hold his, laying a soft kiss on the back of it. Their shallow breaths filled the car, the radio playing in the background in a soft tune. Emir kissed her cheek, stealing the moment given. His beard rubbed against the smooth skin of her chin, a streak of blush pink spread out like a flower blooming and he could not help but brush his thumb over the skin.

"I barged into your house to tell you that I love you, was that not flattering enough?"

He whispered near her ear, his hot breath pushing against her pulsating ear lobes. She squirmed under his gaze, turning her head to the side for some breath. Like a prey, she was looked in the embrace of her predator.

"It was but — but this meant more. It means that there is a part of me that inspires you, and I think that's more than all the love in this world." She added, in confidence.

"Alayna Suleman, wife of Emir Suleman Khan, you're more than admirable, way beyond the leagues of inspiration."

"Than—wait a second Suleman?"

She shrieked in confusion, the arrogant smirk that spread on his plump lips doing little to help her. Overwhelmed, his starry gaze overwhelmed het, rendering her speechless. Not a word escaped her throat, and the tears that filled her vision were a devotion to that. In silence, turmoil turned to a storm.

"Yeah. I didn't ever have a proper last name, and it's only fitting that I take yours. I am, wholeheartedly, devoted to you amore."

"Oh my! Emir aisay hi boltay rahay na tou in sab keh saamne ap ko chummi de deni hai mein nai. Sari mashriqi bahu wali baatein bhula kar!" Alayna said.
[Oh my! Emir if you keep talking like this I'm going to kiss you in-front of all these people. By forgetting all the Eastern daughter-in-law traditions!]

"E cos'è che ti ferma?"
[And what is it that stops you?]

His hooded gaze flickered, from the burning light of her orbs to the lips she had so delicately tucked between her teeth.

"Einstein insaanon wali zuban please."
[Einstein please speak a human language.]

"It's Italian, amore. Look it up sometimes, people really do get impressed with the more languages you know."

"That's why I married you hun, you'll impress the businessmen I meet — and they'll laud me for finding a good trophy husband."

They covered the distance in silence. Her hands held his in a tight grip, the tips of her heels sinking into the sandy rubble of the in construction garden. Peace filled her as she stepped inside the ICU ward. Despite the pasty walls and the sterile smells that filled her body with an ick, she continued to push through. The doctor discovered them and led them to the private wards of her father. Each step closer to him, was a step she took in confinement. Her heartbeat aligned with that of fate, the two leading one another with a gleeful energy. In that moment, Alayna was the happiest. She had everything, it was all seemingly perfect. Even though, tiny tremors under the forceful façade of perfection still rumbled — for once she was in a state of calm.

The metal handle on the thick white door turned, the hinges creaking slowly as she stepped into the room, Emir following suit. On one side, white water lilies covered the tables, a single ECG machine beeped steady rhythms. His once mighty form had dwindled into a thin one. The redness inside his cheeks and neck all but gone — leaving behind a cold silhouette of the man he was. Alayna smiled to herself — a short ghost of a smile, in a state of repose, he reminded her of the man she had annoyed at any given chance.

Sliding into the leather seat beside his bed, Alayna wrapped her hands around his cold palms. Covering them in short, feather like kisses, she let her tears fall free once more. Like a waterfall they descended with full force, a warm hand on her shoulders gave her even more confidence to do so — without feeling the weight of guilt crushing down on her.

"D-don't cry bablu."

Suleman's breathless voice froze her in place. Like a picture captured, to be stared at forever. Slowly, she lifted her head, her red eyes meeting his thin — translucent yet at peace face. Her lips rested on his brow and she squeezed his hand in a tight grip. Crushing his bones as the frail man wheezed at her brute strength.

"Promise me you'll never leave me so alone. Ever again!"

"I didn't. I knew you had a wonderful man who'd take care of you," Suleman smiled, pointing at Emir.

"A man or not — I need my father with me!"

"I'm sorry bablu. Abhi hosh aai hai, abhi tou na daanto. Remember the doctor said no stress."
[I just gained consciousness, please don't scold me.]

"Dad! I'm not going to talk to you! Can't you see how serious I am? I'm letting you call me bablu in front of Emir." She groaned.

"Alright, alright I'm very sorry. From a father to a daughter, I promise you, I'll never leave you alone again."

"Us, uncle I think you meant us 'cause your daughter is a buy get one free now."

Emir gathered their attention.

"What are you waiting for then? Come join us in a family hug."

Alayna took a sigh of relief, hugging her entire world in between her arms. She was finally free.

I'm so happyyyy