dt: MOKKEGUTS thank you so much for bearing with me, sweetheart!
word count: 44
plot: some sort of fluff, but it's kind of bitter? Really bitter? I'm sorry, I'm not capable of writing 100% happy stuff

. . .

Yet another stressful class trial came to an end, marking relief to your senses.

It wasn't only the constant yelling that had drained you. Rather, you'd blame it on the concentration and stress combined - it took a toll on your mind, bringing it to exhaustion once the stimuli were no more.

Korekyio's execution was the final factor that contributed to your horror. Afterwards, you were rendered devoid of any thought, any sensation - you simply could not bear it anymore. A coping mechanism at its finest.

Somehow, the rest of the bunch had the energy to argue even further. This, you couldn't quite relate to - and after muttering a quick apology, you were on your way to the dorm. Your ultimate goal being your bed.

You didn't cross much area when you noticed someone following you - a steady patter of footsteps. In situations like these, you couldn't help but think you would certainly get murdered. Yet, you acted contrary to the alarming ideas.

With inhumane nonchalance, you turned to face this stranger. "What do you want," was your question, as irritable in tone as your own displeased expression. You could say you regretted ever uttering that, as the person cried.

It was Kokichi, of course - his voice scraped against your ears, one octave too high. "Wahh! What's wrong?!" He jumped away, devastated, only to continue with a couple of faked sobs. "Is that murderous intent in your eyes? (Y/N), not now! I don't wanna die! Not yet!"

His inarticulate blabbering didn't do you well. Yes, Kokichi may had been amusing during class trials - and outside of them, he'd made you laugh effortlessly - but now, you were in need of peace and quiet. Your head was starting to pound. Throw in his shrill speaking, and your mind was already clouded with agitation.

"I'm just really tired... could you leave me alone?" You tried not to sound rude, but if he were to probe any further, you wouldn't hesitate to shove him away. He was... small, so it wouldn't pose a challenge.

"No, because you're going to plot my murder." His bottom lip trembled, and his eyes shrunk in an attempt to victimize himself. You knew this was a facade, nothing but an exaggerated reaction. Even as such, it bothered you.

"Kokichi. I would never kill you. Okay? If you'll excuse me, I want to sleep, my head hurts and I just want to be alone. So goodbye." You waved your hand, turned on your heel, and rushed to reach your room. You ignored whatever Kokichi had said - if he said anything in the first place. You stopped listening.

You found it incredibly easy to deflect him at times - not for the reasons the rest of your classmates did, though. They did it out of spite, yet you, if you were ever to act rough - you did it out of fear.

Kokichi and you were close ever since you met. Whereas others went out of their way to meet each other better, you weren't too keen on forming any firmer friendships. Strangely, you found it hard to trust them, yet Kokichi - who was the epitome of danger - seemed the most approachable to you. It was largely his spontaneity, childish behavior that came as a necessary relief.

So what started as a friendship out of (selfish, you could say) interest developed into so much more. He was a genius, that boy! What a sharp wit, what a wonderful mind! And beneath his buffoonery, some shy sense for good. Your intuition did a masterpiece when picking this one, but your heart... wasn't as lucky.

The very circumstances of this place wouldn't allow you to grow any sentiments. Murder was a prerequisite to living. Not only did this warp your psyche, but it surely crushed that of other's. Hoping to love in such an environment would be purely idiotic.

You allowed yourself to reduce it to wishful thinking. When Kokichi wasn't around, his presence would linger about your mind. His threats to murder you, the dozens of lies and cryptic statements... even at this time, they occupied your barely functioning brain.

Well, that almost cost you your health, because you were close to tripping on a stair step. That was a wake up call to your consciousness - you had almost reached the dorm. What a pleasant surprise, for no one interrupted you on your way there.

The first thing you had done upon entering your room was to throw yourself onto the welcoming bed. It took you some sloppy movements to remove your shoes. Once you did, you were ready to rest!

Strangely, it took you a while to slow down your train of thought, relax. Although you were nested in the neat sheets - and your heavy head brought to heaven by the feathery cushion, what a wonderful feeling - you couldn't quite... wander out of your cognizance. As if your body did not bear any tiredness.

Which, having pondered about it, made sense. It was just your brain that needed to rest... either way, a nap would aid you.

Korekiyo's execution (and the madness before it) hadn't crossed your mind not once, neither did the murder of the two girls, nor the entire trial - all of that had drained you long before. All you had to yourself were gradually less coherent mental exclamations, until they too fell silent.

You were moments away from falling asleep when - why, of course - something had to occur. Some... faint noises, similar to ticking were heard. They wouldn't stop. You turned your head, opening one eye to look at their source. Strangely, it originated from the door. Meaning...

You wasted no time. This could be a possible murderer, preparing to kill you - the adrenaline was already leaking into your bloodstream. You stood up, and in the haze of your sudden panic, grabbed the nearby chair. Its role, that of  a fitting weapon.

Approaching the door, you yelled, "who's there?" Familiar laughter came in response. You groaned, dropping the chair carelessly. And as usual, you tried to suppress your joy while you could. "What do you want, Kokichi?"

The door was opened forcefully. As it was being swung, it almost hit you - you stepped back just in time to avoid that. There stood Kokichi's petite figure, his arms and a childish grin spread wide. "Hello there, (Y/N)! Sorry to intrude, but I knew you needed me, so I came!"

"...hello to you too," you muttered. You took notice of some tiny tools in his hands, quickly concluding that he had been picking your lock to enter. How fitting to his character. "It's rude to enter people's rooms without asking," you added, pointing at the content of his hand.

"Why?" He seemed so innocent about it. You chose to play along.

"Who knows what the person could be doing! Maybe they're getting undressed, maybe they're sleeping... you never know."

"I know, right?" His eyes narrowed as yet another sly smile creaked on his lips. You couldn't help but smile back, despite the fatigue.

"Okay, anyway, why exactly did you want to come inside? Wait, uh." You realized the silly position you were in. "Come in, first? I'm sorry for keeping you outside -"

"Now that's rude too! Ha! We're even!" He came inside as if it were his own room - showing no discomfort - and left the little wires (or whatever they were) on your table. You remained by the chair, one hand clutching it for support. "Hey, did -"

But Kokichi stepped outside once again, which left you confused. He disappeared, humming a quiet tune that faded along his presence.

Then, you heard Shuichi's voice in the hallway, asking, "what's that... doing on the floor?" He seemed to be awfully confused - but, wasn't that his usual self?

Kokichi responded that it was a trap for unsuspecting fools, to which Shuichi questioned if it was poisoned. And of course, Kokichi yelled yes... followed by a "it's a lie" full of glee. You quickly left your room to see the subject of this discussion with your own eyes.

Two males stood facing each other, the blue haired one seemingly prepared to flee at any given moment. Kokichi was holding a mere cup of what seemed like tea. As soon as you appeared, the two of them switched their focus to you. Shuichi spoke up, worried.

"Hi, (Y/N)... is everything alright?"

"I guess." You shrugged, quite unsure of the answer yourself. You were surprised with the aroma that reached you. Its source, naturally, trapped your attention. It would be very likely that the short boy had prepared you your favorite tea, which you would be incredibly grateful for.

Suddenly, Kokichi joined in. "(Y/N) is going to degustate this potion for me! Right, (Y/N)?"

"I... what?" You stared at the cup that Kokichi held up to you.

Truth be told, although you two were close, you had your own moments of distrust. They would come and go in the form of a flicker, batting at your senses to come to a halt, their advice: wait and think. Could you let the warnings, your most trusted instincts, go to waste?

Not in this situation, not in this school. It was a stumbling block to you, when it came to forming any relationships inside the game - wrong belief in others could result in death. Yet, Kokichi was a person you would like to call your friend.

Everyone saw him as malice. You, on the other hand, perceived it to be a lie - and out of all people in this goddamn place, the only justified faith you could carry would be that in yourself.

And so, you would always be actively searching for ways to validate him. This set of circumstances was no different. Quickly, your own mind had come to a solution: Kokichi was open about his offer, for he had nothing to hide. He wouldn't do you any harm. Shuichi was there to witness.

"Here, if you don't trust me, I'll try it first," Kokichi suggested, and you refused, which surprised him greatly. From shock to utter pleasure, his expression brightened in a matter of seconds.

"Oh my God, (Y/N) is totally the nicest person on Earth!" He beamed at you.

"That's nothing new," you added, not missing the opportunity, hoping Kokichi would add something to that - as he did.

"Yeah, but it's my job to remind you of your numerous qualities," he spoke sweetly, almost as if he had forgotten about Shuichi's presence. Your heart fluttered upon hearing his words, but you kept your usual indifference on surface - there was a third person present, after all.

"Thank you, I appreciate that," you told him afterwards. His pout was something you couldn't bear to look at, so you turned to the detective with an apologetic smile.

"I think we should get this degustation started... uh, then, see you later, Shuichi?"

"Su-sure," he stuttered, not oblivious of what was going on. You waved him, he waved back, and Kokichi ran inside your room as if it were a matter of life or death. You almost tripped over him, he was in that great of a hurry. 

You closed the door behind you, relieved to have gotten rid of the awkward air. With the two of you alone, you believed everything would be far better - at least, the conversation would be free to develop into... wherever.

"You know, there are approximately sixty eight ways in which I could kill you in your very own room," he said, spinning slowly to finally give you your tea. You giggled, taking the warm cup from him - your fingers brushed for the shortest instance, but it was enough for your heart to skip a beat.

"That applies to you too," you responded smoothly. This amused him. "Oh, but you're not that naughty, are you, (Y/N) (L/N)?"

"Neither are you, Kokichi Ouma." You lifted the beverage to your lips, but did not taste it. Averting your gaze from it to the boy, you caught him gazing at you with utmost interest. "What's the matter?"

"I lied. There are sixty nine ways to kill you," he stated, bringing a finger to his smile.

"Good for me." You finally tasted the tea - yes, the scent matched the flavor. He indeed made you your favorite, except he may had sweetened it a bit too much. That, you could forgive him.

"Why do you trust me?"

His serious tone caught you off guard. One glance at him, and his blank expression spoke enough. He was no longer playing games - and you would answer honestly, knowing the severity of the matter.

"If you wanted to hurt me, you would've done that a long time ago."

He sat on the chair near the door - the exact chair you once wanted to use as a weapon to beat the intruder. "You're avoiding the truth," he spoke grimly.

"Eh? What do you mean?" He couldn't have possibly known - and you couldn't have possibly felt that yourself - that you liked him. This was no place for developing any sort of attraction, and although you were aware you had some for him, you could not allow it. If he were truly aiming towards that...

"You know what I mean." He wiggled his eyebrows, letting his lips curl up a little. You turned around - no longer facing him - and sat on your bed. You didn't have enough energy to manage this conversation.

"No, sadly, I don't. Could you be quick about it and spill it? You'll save us the trouble of arguing." You hid your face behind the cup.

"Aw, but that's no fun. Come on, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about." He winked. "You aren't that dumb!"

The restlessness was kicking in - what could he be possibly thinking of? "Sorry to disappoint you, but I am in fact that dumb."

"But! But you know what I wanna hear, so why won't you say it?" His tone was showing signs of irritation. As soon as you noticed, you decided to ignore him. You took a sip of the tea, left it on the table, then laid on your bed and disappeared underneath the sheets, closing your eyes.

Although you appeared as if you were asleep, your heart was pounding wildly. But it was only important that he saw you as exhausted, unwilling to talk. Maybe that would make him rethink his approach.

However, it didn't. Soon after, you felt the shifting of the mattress, and you opened your eyes to see him right above you - one hand on your left, the other one on your right. You were caged beneath him.

"(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)!" He cheerfully chanted your name over and over again, and oh, how much it contorted your heart. This boy was far too adorable. All it took him was one atrocity of charm, and you would realize your feelings for him all over again. Keeping them under control was difficult, and he would only make it worse..!

"(Y/N), (Y/N)! Hey, hey!" His tone lowered to a hush, and his talking ultimately came to a halt. "I didn't put any substance that would make you sleepy... so why did you go to sleep?"

"I was tired in the first place, you remember?" You narrowed your eyes at him. "But you woke me up better than any alarm, so I won't be going to sleep anytime soon." Pushing him away would do.

"I'll let you sleep once you've answered me," he insisted, then giggled. "Unless you really have nothing to share? Which would be a lie, a horrible lie, and I'm the best lie detector there is!"

Did this mean he... wanted to get a confession from you? He wouldn't get it. "No way, nope. Give up."

He didn't budge. Instead, he seemed to get even firmer in his demands. "I should remind you of one thing. We're in a killing game, right?"

"You really don't have to remind me."

"Okay! So, there are two possible outcomes. Either you win and live, or you die. Right?"

"Right." What was his point?

"So, we both know I'm going to win this game. That leaves room for only one more survivor."

He was overly confident, not without a reason... but you couldn't bear to even hope he would remain well. "Evidently. Get to the point."

"Since I'm the Ultimate Supreme Leader... and this school is my playground, I get to pick who's the second winner!" He went silent, staring down at you like a puppy, his grin wide from ear to ear. It took you a moment to process what he said, and once you did, you huffed. This was far too tiring for you to get behind his motives.

"You'll pick Shuichi," you bluntly told him, forcing him into a laughing fit.

"No, no, I can always change my opinion! You must prove your worth first! And if you do, not only will I let you sleep, but I'll let you win the game... with me. So tell me your secret! Why are you so desperate for my company?" He was the desperate one now, promising you the unimaginable.

"I'm..."

Whatever you would say would most likely make him inquire more, then more, and even more. He'd blabber so much! To the point you would get more annoyed, or even ashamed - and even now, you felt as if you were near your limit. Nevertheless, you managed to maintain a playful attitude.

"I'm tired. Goodnight!" With that, you covered your face with the blanket, and disappeared from Kokichi's sight.

"That's so mean!" He was complaining in those familiar whines of his. "Are you really that simple minded?! Man, I'm disappointed! You're not worthy of my attention after all. Bleurgh, horrible, just horrible."

"In that case, what were you expecting, mister leader," you asked, still hidden beneath the sheets.

"I expected of you to say that you were actually a double agent working for the government and that's why you wanted to get close to me. Because I'm seen as a major threat to your country! You needed to crack this mastermind's vicious mind." He sighed, emphasizing his dramatic storytelling. "But you failed miserably when you got stuck in this killing game. You were supposed to apprehend me, but no! I dragged you down to this hell as punishment for ever thinking you could possibly catch me. That's what you get for messing with me."

He paused, and then, his typical declaration was heard. "Or that was just a lie!"

In all honesty, he was adorable to listen to. You snorted, carrying a broad smile that would be left unseen by the boy above you. "That's cool. You want an applause?"

"Nope, don't tire your hands. After all, I've got my own organization, and they'll applaud me once I order them to do so. But!" You felt him move away, off the bed. That was when he said, "I got all I needed. If that was... all you wanted to say?"

Most certainly not, you shuddered at the thought. Yet the undertones of disappointment - sincere one, you presumed - were heard in his question. As if he were indeed expecting more, whatever that more of his meant. To think he bothered you that much -

Oh, you realized it now. You sat up, removing the blanket from yourself. Kokichi wore that woeful expression of his, you saw, so you quickly went straight to the matter.

"Yeah, for now, that would be all. Is there anything else you wanted to do?" You didn't have to admit your crush for now - it was almost evident that he liked you back. His little scheme was easy to bust. What he wanted was to force out a secret from you, under the disguise of knowing it already. And this secret ought to be your confession. What use would he have out of it?

"Yup. Then, goodbye!" He was already on his way to the door when you almost screamed at him to wait. 

"No, no, uh -" You spread your hand out, as if to grab him, but retracted it swiftly. You didn't want to be viewed as eager.

"You want me to stay?" His eyes lit up for an instant.

You disliked the way you reacted, got abashed, so you merely murmured, "yeah, I do."

"But... I've finished torturing you, (Y/N)! Don't you think it's enough..? On second thought, I totally see you as a masochist!" He giggled. "And I'm never, ever against more torture. Because, y'know, I'm so evil. I'm the very embodiment of evil!"

It would be an understatement to say that he, a boy so small of looks so innocent, appeared ridiculous.

"I didn't know the embodiment of evil would prepare tea for someone... willingly. That sure is peculiar. What's your take on that?"

"Pfft, that's nonsense. Whoever said I was the one who did that?"

"Dunno, but I love whoever did it. The very act proves this person's kindness... and the tea is wonderful too." You couldn't keep your stern act going at all times. He deserved some praise.

Kokichi let out a laugh so carefree, you yearned to smother him on the spot. And once he sat next to you on the bed, the task seemed so easy to accomplish. However, you had other things on your mind.

"What you said earlier... I think I saw through your plan."

"Oh! That's intriguing! Or not. No one can see through my plans," he exclaimed with pride.

"Mhm. Sure. Anyway, as I was saying... I'm going to elaborate your plan. So, you wanted to get me to confess some secret, any secret, by forcing me to spill - acting as if you knew what it was. When, you, in fact, had no idea. You just wanted to see my reaction... and what would I say, if I would say anything. All in all, you wanted to extract something personal from me."

You kept your scrutinizing gaze on him, scanning for whatever emotion on his pale visage. He hadn't shown none - instead, he stood up, his back facing you.

"You got it all wrong. Pathetic. Now I'm even more disappointed in you." No longer was the merriness in his voice. A sharp pain shot through your chest - had you truly made a mistake of that scale?

And the very moment unease had been instilled, his demeanor shifted back to normal as he turned back to you, grinning with pure joy. "And that was a lie!"

The pressure inside you left in form of an audible exhale, which soon became relieved laughter. "Great, so I was right after all... but... what exactly did you want to find out?"

"Nothing in particular. Or something ultra specific. Who knows." He threw himself onto the mattress, spreading his arms across the bed. You looked down at him, peering curiously, for he hummed as a finger was brought to his lips. An indicator of heavy thought.

"Hm. Maybe you do, (Y/N)?"

He was nudging you gently towards the matter. You were aware of that - yet you couldn't help but wish to fall into his trap. This once, maybe, you could allow it. Discard all your worries in that one moment of gratifying comfort.

"No, I don't." But fear paralyzed you against it.

"What a shame." He huffed. "A shame that you're... lying!"

"Yeah... it sure is a shame." You sighed. There was nothing else left for you to say. A veil of silence thus fell upon the two of you - an invitation for your inner monologue to grow louder. If only you knew, if only you were certain about the outcome of the killing game! What could you do, alone, or even with Kokichi, to get over with it?

"I'm bored."

His complaint torn you out of your turmoil. You turned your head to him, eyes widening in surprise at the thought that reached your mind - his distraction was invaluable.

Naturally, you did not hesitate to comply. "Okay, so what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to do many, many things, (Y/N). You'd be terrified to find out."

You waved your hand at him. "Perv." He immediately let out a giggle.

"For now, I want you to do what you want to do!" He spread his arms upwards in a theatrical manner, his back still on the bed. You gazed at his actions, unsure what to say. What you wanted to do and what you could do were two opposing matters, therefore, impossible to turn into reality.

"...and what's that," you whispered to yourself, loud enough to be heard.

"Duh, you tell me." Kokichi seemed eager to find out.

So you told him the obvious. "I don't know. I guess I wanna live..? But I don't really care at the same time."

"Eh? That's it? Way too simple," he mumbled, seemingly disappointed. "Sure is simple," he added, and an abrupt pause. Then, he lifted himself off the bed, sitting up next to you. All of a sudden, he leaned in close, his face right in front of yours. You backed off, flustered, but he remained there, eyes wide in what appeared to be uttermost curiosity.

"Kokichi? Uh, what are you doing?" Whispers barely left your tight throat - he had genuinely scared you.

"I'm counting the bee stings on your face."

"What the - "

He suddenly poked your nose, making you yelp at the touch. It was only then that you noticed the placid expression he bore - a strange one for sure.

"You're so tired, aren't you, (Y/N)?"

You were rubbing your nose when he asked. Not thinking of it as a serious question, you answered with a"yeah, as always." It was only when you averted your gaze that you managed to spot the solemnity he wore.

Your vision locked with his, one moment, two, then even longer. None of you dared to speak up, paralleling each other's perturbation. He was the bold one to break out of it, and he smirked in his common fashion.

"Rest up, drink your tea. There are mandatory tea breaks in my organization, and they really help!" He reassured you, joyful once again - but the mask he put on was of sloppy manufacture. You could see right through it, and even wondered - aside his lies of being evil, did he not fool many into thinking he was carefree?

The realization brought you to dismay. It took away your ability to figure a proper answer, so what you responded appeared somewhat mechanical. "That's very kind of you. I'll do that, for sure."

"Goodie." He took your hand, squeezing it. Your expectations were shattered - his touch was abnormally cold. "Then I'll leave you to it!"

"To... no, it's fine," you muttered, "you can stay."

"I don't want to bother anymore."

"But you really aren't a bother."

He let go, standing up to his feet. "Your well being comes first. What good is an ally of poor health? That's right, no good. Zero." And before you could do anything, he made his way to the door, snatching those wires on the table. Once the door was opened, and he stood still on the exit for a final goodbye, you were prepared only to wave at him, but he, he made yet another surprise. Tenderly, he informed you of this.

"If it's of any help to you and your sleep, I think you should know that I know why you wanted me to stay."

A giggle to cover it up. And then, as if he were embarrassed of himself, he disappeared.