⚠️ Warning - this chapter contains mentions of rape and abuse. ⚠️

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~ Daniela's POV ~

So, even though the bed was made for two people, I somehow still woke up with my head resting on Carson's chest and my arm draped over his waist.

Would it be crazy to think that the reason I managed to sleep without one image of George appearing in my head was because I had Carson in the bed with me this time?

The moment I woke up, even before I opened my eyes I could feel the heat from his body radiating all around me. I was pretty much lying on top of him with my head on his chest and I could feel the heat of his hand resting on my lower back while he slept.

At least I knew it wasn't all my fault, and apparently he was very okay with the situation.

"Stop moving." His husky morning voice broke through the silence causing me to lift my head to look at him.

"Let go of me then." When I tried to get off him again, Carson tightened his arm around me, holding me against him.

"I'm trying to sleep Daniela."

"I don't care I-" Before I could try to argue with him, a knock on our door caught my attention. This time I tried harder to tug myself out of his grip but he only tightened his arm around me again, a small smirk tugging on his lips.

"Don't you dare, Carson she already thinks we're-"

"Come in." My eyes widened when he spoke a lot louder and before I knew it the door to our room opened revealing Diane. Turning my head I had to force a smile onto my face when I saw her come into the room.

"Aw look at you two! Did you have a nice sleep?"

"It was perfect, thank you." Carson flashed her his perfect smile, showing of his teeth and his dimples.

Yes, he had dimples. It was like he was sculpted by angels or something. He was perfect.

"You're welcome. I've just made lunch since you slept through breakfast and then maybe we can have a chat about your next steps to get back home?"

Home.

New York.

Ayden.

Clearly sensing my apprehension and change in mood, Carson sat up a little in bed, nodding his head in acceptance of Diane's offer.

"That sounds great, thank you."

"Okay, well I'll see you both downstairs in a little while then." Flashing us one more warm smile, she finally left the room closing the door behind herself. The moment we were finally alone, I pushed myself away from Carson, sitting up as I let out a breath.

I had no idea what I was going to do.

I couldn't go back to him. I was finally free after two years of living in hell, solely dependant on him. The stupidest thing I could ever do was go back to him now.

"Dani?" Carson also sat up in the bed leaning against the headboard. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing."

"Are you sure? Because after some of the things you said last night, I-"

"I was tired and hysterical Carson, I didn't mean any of it." When I turned to look at him, he rose an eyebrow at me. "You can trust me."

"I can't." I shook my head at him, watching as he leaned closer to me, taking my hand in his. "What's it going to take for you to trust me again? You can ask me anything, I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

Taking a moment to think, I held his hand in mine, running my thumb over one of the tattoos on the back of his hand.

"Can I get back to you on that?" Lifting my eyes away from the tattoo I was staring at, I found him already staring at him with his deep brown eyes.

It took him a moment before he eventually nodded his head, clearing his throat.

"Take your time."

Giving him a nod, I let go of his hand instantly missing the warmth that it gave me. Without sparing him another glance I got up off the bed, heading into the bathroom to freshen up before we went downstairs.

By the time I'd finished and Carson had finally gotten out of bed, at least half an hour had passed since Diane came into our room.

"This is all your fault."

"What? How?" In the middle of the upstairs hallway Carson turned look at me, giving me an incredulous stare. "You fell asleep again! I told you to get up and you wouldn't listen to me and now we're late."

"Okay we're not late, she never set a time she just said to come downstairs." He shrugged his shoulders giving me a smile while I just responded in a hushed whisper.

"Carson these nice people are doing us a favour out of the kindness of their hearts, the least we can do is be on time."

The moment I said that, he let out a scoff, shaking his head at me.

"Wow you really are naive, aren't you?"

I can't lie and say his sudden change in tone and his words didn't surprise me, because they did.

"What?" I tried to hide the hurt in my tone but I probably didn't do a very good job.

"I paid them last night while you were taking a shower. They asked for five hundred dollars since they knew we had no where else to go. No one does anything like this out of the kindness of their hearts."

Wait, Diane was faking it? All that motherly care she was giving was just a lie?

And I was stupid enough to fall for it.

Just as he took a step towards the stairs, I spoke causing him to stop in his tracks again.

"I would."

"What?" He turned his head to look at me, raising an eyebrow at me with a frown on his face.

"I would do something like that out of the kindness of my heart. I already did, the day I tried to help you and got myself kidnapped. If that makes me naive, then so be it."

Shrugging my shoulders, I took a step towards the stairs, suddenly feeling down and deflated all over again. My emotions had been going crazy over the last couple of days since I killed George and this was just another thing that brought me straight back down.

Do people really never do favours anymore? Why is everything always about money?

Just as I made an attempt to walk away from him, Carson grabbed my hand suddenly pulling me back, turning me to look at him. Through wide eyes I watched as he lifted his hand, gently cupping my cheek as he stroked it with his thumb.

"And that's what makes you so different...so intriguing."

His words came out in a low whisper and the way he was staring at me, with such an intense gaze, left me completely and utterly speechless as I stared into his eyes.

Just like the few times before, we just continued to stare, without a word, completely lost in our own world until he broke it.

"I'm sorry...for what I said." Finally he took a step back, looking away uncomfortably when he apologised to me. "What did you say?"

"I called you naive." Lifting his hand he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, instantly telling me he was uncomfortable. Of course I already knew that he became uncomfortable whenever he had to apologise. Which is why I made it ten times worse for him.

"I can't believe you would say that to me Carson...as if I mean absolutely nothing to you." Shaking my head, I turned away from him as I bought my hand to my mouth acting as if I was trying to suppress my tears.

Since I'd spent most of yesterday crying, I'm sure he believed I was crying almost instantly.

"I didn't mean to make you cry Daniela. Crap, I'm so bad with this stuff. I don't know how to not mess things up or how to be...soft around you. It's not who I am."

Holding back my laughter, I just continued to ignore him as he stood behind me, clearly struggling to think of what to say to me.

"No one is worth your tears Dani. Not me, not Ayden, not that bastard George. No one."

The volume of his voice dropped as he came up closer behind me.

"Remember what I told you the other day, it's what my mom always used to say to us whenever we'd get upset about something. Know your worth and don't let anyone treat you less than you're worth."

Ironically, even though I wasn't actually crying before, his words were enough to make me want to cry. Turning around, I was surprised to find him closer to me than I had expected.

"That's really sweet." I managed to give him a small smile, suddenly feeling extremely guilty for faking it in the first place.

"I'm sorry for what's happened over the last couple of days Daniela. I swear, if I could go back and change all of this I would but-"

"I forgive you Carson." When I cut him off, giving him a soft smile his eyes widened a little in surprise as if he didn't expect me to say that.

"You do?" I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips as I nodded my head. "I do."

"Why?"

"I think you've apologised enough, and as much as I hate to admit it, some of your reasons for not telling me made sense. I don't want to be angry at you anymore and you're the only person who's ever tried so hard to make me forgive you. No one ever does that for me."

He listened intently while I spoke before he eventually took my hand, lacing his fingers together with mine.

"Thank you." I gave him a small smile, nodding in response before he tugged on my hand once again taking a step towards the stairs. "Come on let's go downstairs."

"Carson I don't really want to."

"What? Why?" Shrugging my shoulders, I glanced down at the living room that I could see from the upstairs landing. "How can someone fake that? My mom has been gone for five years and that's the first time someone has acted motherly towards me. But she was just faking it."

"I'm probably not one to talk but these people have no morals. I'll tell you what happened last night later, but first let's just go and eat something and find out where to go next. We did pay them for that much at least."

Letting out a sigh, I nodded my head following him down the stairs. It took us a moment to finally find the kitchen towards the back of the house where Diane and her husband were sitting.

"Oh good you're here! Sarah dear, why don't you come and sit down next to me. I've made as much food as I could, we wanted to be hospitable after all."

Hospitable.

Glancing over at Carson before I turned to look at her, I forced a small smile onto my face as I took a seat next to her. No one really said much while we ate the food she'd laid out on the table which, I had to admit, was way better than the tuna pasta we had the other day.

"So could you tell us how we can possibly make it back to...somewhere...from here." As he spoke Carson looked out the window noticing how we were still surrounded by trees in the middle nowhere.

"Well our farm is just outside of Matlock which is another hour walk from here. From there, I guess you could head to Shelton in Mason County. That's your best bet."

"How far is that?"

"Less than an hours drive from Matlock, dear." Diane gave me a happy smile as she ate another bite of her food. Honestly her kind act was making me sick.

"Well we really should be going. It sounds like we have a long walk ahead of us and we want to make the most of the daylight, right?" I gave Carson a look just as he was about to take another bite of the food he was eating. After a second he quickly put his fork down, clearing his throat as he stood up.

"Yeah, right. Come on...S..Susan?" The way he said the name Susan with so much hope that he'd gotten it right caused me to have to cover my laughter with a cough.

Honestly our little act was turning into a joke.

"Your clothes are washed and dried on the couch in the living room." After I nodded my head, Carson and I very quickly left the kitchen, heading upstairs to get changed back into our clothes from last night.

"It's your fault for choosing stupid names in the first place."

"I forgot to plan ahead and the last thing we wanted to do was use our real names." I nodded in agreement although I still found the whole thing hilarious. Once we reached our room we got changed and then we gathered up our bags containing all the supplies we found at the cabin.

Although that night in the cabin was only two nights ago, it felt like days ago now.

Neither Diane or her husband said much to us when we left, the only thing they did was hand us a map, circling their farm and Matlock on there for our reference.

Maybe they were irked that we hid our real identities from them.

"I can't believe we're walking again. My feet are already killing me Carson." I clutched the map in my hand as we walked down the long road which was supposed to take us straight into this tiny town called Matlock.

"It's been less than twenty minutes Dani."

"So?" Carson just shook his head at my response as we continued to walk next to each other. "Tell me what happened last night."

"While you were taking a shower Diane pretty much told me to pay up or get the hell out. It's not like we had much choice so I paid them."

I could tell he wasn't happy and he had every right to be mad. She seemed so genuine and yet from the moment she heard us say we had no clue where we were she had this plan in her head to take our money.

I guess we were just lucky we actually had any money.

"What if we didn't have any money?"

"We were heading in this direction anyway, we would have found the stupid town eventually. Then I would have called someone to send us some money."

When he said this I suddenly stopped in my tracks, grabbing his hand to stop him too.

"You can do that?" My reaction caused him to let out an amused chuckle. "Of course I can do that, I'm the boss."

As he said it, he sent me a heart stopping wink and I'm telling you that wink had me feeling something I never thought I would feel towards him. When he noticed my quietness, he took a step closer to me, a smirk tugging at his perfect lips.

"Cat got your tongue Dani?"

Yes.

"What? N-no." I shook my head as I began walking again, trying to push those new feelings to the side. I could feel his eyes on me as we walked side by side again, this time in a more awkward silence.

"So..."

"Here we go." My mouth dropped open at his words as I turned my head to look at him. "Here we go what? I'm just trying to make conversation."

"Then say something instead of awkwardly trying to start one."

"Oh you're such as grouch sometimes." I shook my head at him while he just laughed. "Did you have a question Dani?"

"Let me think of one, you know, since I'm the only one trying to start a conversation."

Of course he just laughed at me, again before waiting patiently for me to come up with a question.

"I do have a question but I need to say something first - I never thanked you for getting my necklace back from George. I don't think you'll ever know how much that meant to me."

"You're welcome beautiful." When he flashed me a smile I felt a blush rise up on my cheeks as I looked away from him causing him to chuckle. "How did you get it?"

"It was in his pocket. That guard James said he was showing everyone the necklace like it was a prize or something so I just guessed he kept it with him."

Nodding my head I decided to change the subject moving it away from George and that last day when I killed him.

"How come you didn't have any security with you the night we were taken?" When I mentioned that night, Carson's jaw clenched out of anger.

"I usually do. They don't always travel with me but they're somewhere behind me, always watching from a distance. I thought they would show up, but I guess they were attacked too."

"Is it possible that they just never came to help you?" The moment I said that, Carson's eyes flashed over to me and the expression on his face straight away told me I should be careful with this topic of conversation.

"No. The mafia isn't like that Dani. If you've been given a job, you do it, if you don't, you die. It's simple."

"Oh. Okay." When I fell quiet, I felt Carson's eyes on me. "Why were you walking alone on the streets at that time of the night?"

Because I found out my psycho ex-boyfriend drugged me and raped me with his brother and friend.

"I fancied a walk." I casually shrugged my shoulders trying to appear as believable as possible although I should have known he was too smart for that. "Right, so you just put on some heels and a dress and went out for a walk?"

"Well, it didn't happen exactly like that."

"You're full of mysteries Trouble." Thankfully, he didn't push the topic any further instead choosing to settle back into a comfortable silence. Well, that's what he chose but I hated the silence so I just spoke again.

"You're Italian, right? Can you speak Italian?"

"Sí, can you?" He turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow at me while I just gave him a flat look. "I'm from Ohio, of course I can't."

"You're from Ohio?" I nodded my head at his while he just frowned. "I didn't know that, I just assumed you were from New York."

"I moved to New York when I was 18, I used to live in Mansfield before that. Life was so much simpler there."

Although Mansfield was still a city, for me it was so much more peaceful than New York. Nothing bad ever happened to me there.

"Do you go back home often?"

"No, I haven't been back since I left. My sister and I still own the house but neither of us have been there for years. She lives in France now."

Sensing from my tone that I didn't like discussing my home, Carson nodded his head before going back to the original conversation.

"I can speak three other languages with English - Spanish, French and Italian."

"How did you learn them?" He shrugged his shoulders at this, turning his head to look at me as we walked. "I taught myself. My work is international, I had to at least speak a few languages. I'm trying to learn Russian too but those damn Russians, they're just so...nevermind."

"They're what?" Even though I knew this was about his mafia business, I couldn't help but be interested and intrigued by it.

For some reason the whole thing was more interesting to me than scary.

"So bad at everything. I hired this Russian guy to teach Grey and I Russian and the guy couldn't teach to save his life. He was Russian and he didn't speak it properly himself."

"So what happened?"

"I fired him and then Fox had to make sure he'd keep his mouth shut about ever meeting us. It's a lot of hassle firing someone who you can't just kill." I couldn't help but smile when he shook his head, clearly irritated by the whole situation.

"What do they do? Fox and Grey?"

"Grey is my underboss and Fox is in charge of training my men."

"To fight?" In response to my question Carson nodded his head. Surprisingly he wasn't at all annoyed by the questions I was asking which definitely showed an improvement over the last few weeks.

"Can I ask you another question?" This time he just rose an eyebrow at me which I'd learned was his way of saying go ahead. "Why don't you have an Italian accent?"

"I'm not Italian."

"You're not?" When I gave him a confused look he let out a sigh. "My father was, my mother is American."

"Oh...so that explains it, and it also explains why you look like that and Agnello is-"

"My father's name. Wait, what do you mean 'why I look like that'?" This time it was his turn to give me a quizzical look while I just shrugged.

"You look exotic."

"Exotic?" Although his expression was blank I could see the amusement in his eyes while I stumbled to explain myself. The look he was giving me made me nervous and well, when I get nervous I ramble.

"I mean you look tanned and your skin has olive undertones. You're lucky you know, your skin tone is pretty neutral so finding a foundation to match would be easy, you don't need to worry about colour correcting or anything. I used to work at a make up counter to help pay for college and foundation shades were always such pesky things to get right...if you're into make up that is."

Finally when I finished, Carson stopped walking and turned to look at me with an irritated expression. "What the hell are you talking about?"

His sudden outburst caused me to flinch back, instantly looking away to avoid making eye contact with him hoping he didn't notice it.

"Sorry...when I get nervous sometimes I can't stop talking."

He stayed quiet for a moment, his eyes softening and the volume of his voice dropping when he spoke next.

"I make you nervous?"

I couldn't tell if he was amused by what I'd told him or not, but I just hoped that he was.

"Of course you do, you're in the mafia." Pulling myself together, I managed to give him a forced smile before turning to leave but before I could even attempt to start walking his hand shot out to stop me.

When I turned back to face him, he held my stare as if he was trying to read me, or to find some answers. I knew he was getting suspicious, especially after my crying over the last couple of days and all the random bits of information I'd given him about Ayden and my life.

"What are you hiding Dani?"

I knew for sure that the longer he stared at me like that and the longer he kept trying to break down my walls that they would eventually fall. I knew from the moment I was about to tell him before George came into our room a few days ago, that it was just a matter of time.

"I'm not hiding anything. Let's just carry on walking, we have-"

"No, not this time. Every time you've shut me down I've left it alone but now you're flinching when I'm not even raising my voice at you."

So he did notice it. Shaking my head at him, I let out a shaky breath as I stepped away from him.

"Carson don't...please."

"You can trust me Daniela. How many times do I have to tell you that? You can trust me."

I could see in his eyes that he was being genuine and deep down I knew I could trust him, but I was still scared.

"But if I tell you I can't take it back Carson. I don't want you to judge me or look at me differently."

"I won't and you want to know why? Because you know who I am and you forgave me, we're friends, right?" I nodded my head as he stepped closer to me, taking my hand in his. It seemed like it always brought me comfort whenever he did that, just like my necklace did whenever I held it.

"And you don't judge me for who I am, so I would never, ever judge you. Just tell me."

"I can't go back to New York Carson."

"Why?" His tone was so soft when he spoke, watching me carefully as the panic and nerves began to grow inside me again.

When I turned my face to look away from him so that I didn't get sucked in like I always did when he looked at me with those eyes, he gently turned my face back towards him.

"What happened Dani?"

I could feel my heart rate pick up as I came nearer and nearer to telling him the truth, my eyes filling with tears as I tightened my grip on his hand.

"I've never told anyone before, I don't want anyone else to know."

"There's no one else for miles Dani, it's just me and you. You can trust me."

I felt the hot tears leave my eyes as he stepped closer to me, allowing me to see him and only him.

"Why can't you go back to New York? Why don't you want to go home?"

"It's not my home. I don't have a home." Once again I shook my head, reaching up to wipe away my tears while he just spoke again, this time extremely reluctantly. "Is it...is it Ayden?"

The moment he mentioned Ayden's name, my reaction gave him the answer he was after. When I tried to take a step away from him with the sole intention of building my walls back up as quickly as I could, he stopped me from moving away.

"Why? He's your boyfriend Daniela."

"No, he's a monster Carson."

"Are you sure you're just not in shock about finding out his affiliation to the Irish Mob?" The moment he said that, I just let out a humourless laugh, finally pulling away from him
so that I could step out of his reach.

I should have known he'd think
I'm just exaggerating, that I'm just throwing a tantrum because I found out he'd been lying about who he was.

Putting some distance between us was the only way I could stop this before it was too late.

"Yeah, that's it." Ignoring my sarcastic tone, Carson stood his ground refusing to give up so easily. "Why is he a monster?"

"Carson I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"I don't give a damn. I'm trying very hard to not jump to conclusions right now Daniela, so just tell me, why is he a monster?"

"Because he is."

"Why?" I could tell he was losing his patience, he wasn't used to be told no, that much was clear. The tone of the conversation had changed, becoming so much more heated than earlier and that was because he wasn't used to having to push for answers.

"It's nothing to do with you Carson so-" Before I could finish my sentence Carson cut me off by shouting a rather vulgar curse word followed by his sentence. "Just say it Daniela why the hell are you so intent on hiding it?"

"Because it's humiliating! Is that what you want to hear? That I've spent two years being controlled by him? That I've lost every shred of dignity that I had to him?"

My outburst brought him to silence as he processed what I'd just said while I stood there wishing I was anywhere else but there.

"What did he do?"

"You know what he did Carson." Still dissatisfied with my answer, Carson clenched his jaw speaking through gritted teeth.

"Say it Daniela. What did he do?" His words came out much slower with more intent, holding absolutely no room for argument. I pursed my lips, feeling my anger spike as I stepped towards him.

"Fine. He used to hit me, he used to make me cry and beg him to stop, he used every method he could to make me submit to him every single day. He raped me and abused me for two years while I was all alone. Are you happy now Carson?"

And just like that it was no longer my secret. It was no longer something that I could push to the back of my mind and pretend it wasn't my reality. It was out there for someone else to know, it was out there for someone else to judge me by it.

In that moment it was impossible to know what he was thinking or how he felt. He had this ability to mask his emotions and that's exactly what he did. Neither of us said a word as my words hung in the air, in nothing but silence.

I desperately waited and waited for him to say something, to show me some kind of reaction. I stood there hoping he wouldn't judge me, that he wouldn't think of me as a stupid little girl for putting myself in that situation.

And then he just started walking again, leaving me standing there watching him as the tears fell down my cheeks.

And for the second time that week I felt betrayed by him all over again.

Finally!!! It only took her 14 chapters omg 🙄 I know I'm the one who wrote it like this but I can still be at one with the readers 🤣

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I can't wait for you to see what happens next ❤️