Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...

Yukari: I'm a star?! HA! IN YOUR FACE NYAMO!

Nyamo: Oh for the love of...

Yukari: I get to be star?! 

Voice: Just kidding, you're not a star. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yukari: (gets mad and grits her teeth)

Tomo: HAHAHA! The voice got you good!

Yukari: Tomo, when this show is over, I'm gonna-

Voice: Yukari Tanizaki...is a part time teacher at a private academy. (thanks Emerald-Saber for requesting this)

Audience: EHHHHHHHHHH?! NO WAY!

Yukari: Ha! I wish! 

Nyamo: Yukari! What kind of person turns their back on their school?!

Yomi: How could she want to leave us?

Yukari: What? I mean, I like teaching English at the school I work at now but it would be nice to teach there every now and then.

Chiyo: What? You mean you are leaving us?!

Tomo: But school is no fun without you!

Osaka: Yeah don't go!

Yukari: I'm not going anywhere! I don't teach at a private academy! I was just kidding about wanting to go there. I love you guys, you're like family. 

Voice: Yukari Tanizaki...was a victim of bullying (thanks Emerald-Saber for requesting this) 

Audience: (gasps) NO WAY!

Yukari: No way! I was way too tough for anyone to get close to me. I made sure people who tried anything funny run away scarred when they see my moves. I've won karate tournaments. (does air punches and kicks)

Nyamo: Wasn't there that one giant brute that used to tease you back in high school that used to stuff you in gym lockers and stick you into toilets?

Chiyo: Oh my! That actually happened? That's terrible.

Yukari: I thought we agreed to never bring that up again!

Voice: Time to go back to memory lane.

(a video montage of Yukari getting stuffed in a locker, getting her head in a toilet, lunch money stolen, getting labeled with a kick me sign, and hit with dodge balls by a bunch of giant intimidating girls played on screen)

Yukari: STOP TORTURING ME WITH THOSE AWFUL MEMORIES!

Audience: (laughs)

Tomo/Osaka/Kagura: (laughs)

Chiyo: This is serious!

Nyamo: It's not a laughing matter! 

Sakaki: I don't think you should make a joke out of it. That goes for everyone who's laughing

Kaorin: (looks at Sakaki blushes) I completely agree. These kinds of things can really damage a person's self confidence.

(Yomi wacks the three in the head)

Yomi: How would you three like it if YOU GUYS were in the same position as Ms. Yukari and was made fun of for it?!

Tomo/Osaka/Kagura: Sorry. That was stupid of us.

Yukari: Now I have something to cry myself to sleep about thanks to you.

Voice: Yukari Tanizaki...is bisexual and has a crush on Yomi. (thanks Emerald-Saber for requesting thisO

Audience: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! OOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (a few laughs, whistles and claps in the background)

Azumanga group: EHHHHHHHHHHH?!

Yomi: WHAT?! 

Tomo: HAHA! NEW SHIP! 

Osaka: YukOmi! 

Yukari: WHAT?! IT'S TRUE I'M BISEXUAL BUT I DO NOT HAVE THAT SORT OF FEELINGS TOWARDS HER OR ANY OF MY STUDENTS! I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE! 

Voice: Now you know...Yukari Tanizaki the bisexual teacher of a private academy who is a victim of bullying and is in love with Yomi.

Audience: (cheers)

Yukari: NO THEY DON'T!

Voice: Yes they do.

Yukari: You've got some nerve! They don't know anything about me! You made me look bad! Hey! Get back here and tell the truth! Hello?! HEY! I'M STILL TALKING! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!

Which character should I do next?

What "facts" (lies) should I say about them?

What will be their and the audience and characters reactions to each claim?

Let me know in the comment section below