══════════════════

══════════════════

Time sometimes passed too quickly, especially when bad things would reoccur after a certain amount of time. Usually, those things were once a month. Either you're a girl and you hate the idea of getting your period or you're a werewolf who has to hide and transform. Take your pick.

Remus Lupin would have actually preferred to be a girl who had her period, at least he thought so. He'd never experienced period pains and stuff so maybe not. But being a werewolf genuinely sucked. He just wished he could be a normal man who wasn't irrationally angry at the idea of yet another month passing. Why did the months have to keep passing?

It was time for the full moon once again, the second full moon of his fifth year at Hogwarts. He could try to think positively and hope that his best friends would finally be able to become animagi (if by some fortune they didn't fail miserably and end up being hospitalized or dead) and help him. Or he could hope for death but that was a bit too macabre.

But this time, like the last, he couldn't help but think that becoming a werewolf wasn't the worst part of the full moon anymore. Because, just like last time, he found himself transforming into something even worse. A complete and utter creep.

Remus didn't know why he couldn't stop staring at Lee Beaumont. His friends said she was staring at him, too, but he wasn't sure if he believed them. Maybe they were just trying to make him feel better, it did sound like them.

He'd never even talked to the bloody girl. Sure, she was probably the prettiest girl he'd ever seen and seemed brilliant and extremely kind. But they'd never talked and yet it was like he was hypersensitive to her. He could sense when she was nearby and it was like his throat'd close up and he felt throwing up (but in a good way, which didn't make sense either).

"You're staring again," Sirius commented casually before taking another bite of his breakfast.

The full moon was that very night, and Remus felt himself drawn to her like never before, and it meant that everybody had front-row seats to his creepiness.

Remus quickly shook himself out of his daze, immediately shoving his mouth full of toast to seem inconspicuous. But he knew, deep down, that it only made him look even weirder. Even Peter looked at him strangely, and he usually never had room to judge during meals.

"Oh, now she's staring," James then commented, a typical smugness in his voice which perfectly matched Sirius's. "You know, she stares just as much you do. It'd be kinda cute if you weren't both acting so bloody creepy."

"Shut up," Remus grumbled defensively. He'd noticed that he was usually ruder to them when they talked about Lee, something he'd sometimes internally scold himself for. But they noticed it, too, and they seemed to thinnk it was funny.

"You know, I've got a bit of a theory about what's going on there," Sirius suddenly spoke up, making his three best friends quickly look at him in curiosity. "I mean, it's obvious when you think about it. But I guess not everybody's as smart as me."

James glanced around them for a moment, making sure nobody was listening in. He spoke in a hushed voice as they all leaned in closer to one another. "So you agree? You think she's a werewolf?"

"No, idiot," the Black boy deadpanned, flicking his forehead (James let out a very loud "ow!"). He cast a quick glance at Lee, who was talking to Fabian at the Hufflepuff table, though she didn't seem very interested in the conversation as she kept looking their way. "I'll tell you when I'm sure."

Remus pretended he didn't care about whatever was up with Lee at all, as usual, even if he cared a lot (though he couldn't understand for the life of him!) so he tried to force himself to sound nonchalant though if he failed miserably. "If something weird's going on with me then I want to know."

"It's nothing bad, Remus, don't worry. Your girlfriend's not dangerous," Sirius waved him off, a hint of a smirk resting on his face.

"Well, for her to be his girlfriend then they'd actually had to have talked," Peter pointed out teasingly, snickering to himself. He beamed as James offered him a fist-bump under the table- "But we know that's never going to happen."

"She's not my girlfriend, she's never going to be my girlfriend," the young werewolf stated firmly, desperately fighting the urge to stare at her. "Nothing's going on, can we leave it?"

"Well, we could but..." Sirius seemed to agree for a brief moment before shrugging. "No."

"Oh, hey, she's staring again!" James pointed out cheerfully, making all four of them perk up immediately.

Remus couldn't keep himself from looking her way, though he tried to fight it, like he had ever since he'd seen her at the train station. He felt his stupid, creepy heart skip a beat as he looked straight onto the shade of blue that had haunted his dreams for a straight month.

James grinned widely at Lee, grabbing her attention. He waved wildly, seemingly not caring at all about everybody looking at him like he was a madman. Her cheeks were immediately coated with a deep red as she averted her gaze.

Despite the embarrassment he'd caused both her and slightly Remus, James looked pleased with himself. Remus wasn't sure if he was capable of not being pleased with himself, honestly.

Lee was fighting three urges at the Hufflepuff table. One was the urge to stare at Remus Lupin (seriously, what was up with that?), the second was yelling out a bunch of French curse words in annoyance that only her father at the teachers' table would understand, the third being throwing herself into the Black Lake. She was really considering the last one.

"Alright, what's up with you and Lupin?" Fabian asked quietly, trying not to attract more attention to his friend who he'd come to understand was relatively shy. "Did you shag him and not tell me? Because that's just a sex scandal waiting to happen?"

"What? No!" Lee denied immediately. She didn't know it was possibly to blush as red as she did now, but Fabian had managed it. "We did not. I don't know what's going on."

The redhead Hufflepuff narrowed his eyes, calling bullshit on her explanation. "Well, there's something going on and it involves you so you've got to have some bloody idea."

"I don't know, he's just... different," Lee tried to explain as well as she could, immediately noting how obvious her French accent was as she spoke the last word. "I don't know how else to explain it."

"Have you ever even talked to him?" Fabian asked, now that she had denied they've shagged (still, he thought there was too much sexual tension there to truly believe it).

"No," the blonde answered honestly, as she still couldn't understand why. She'd tried once, at the party at the Gryffindor common room. She frowned involuntarily as she gazed upon Remus Lupin again, unable not to. "I don't know why, but I think he's avoiding me."

══════════════════

Fabian knew that Lee was a pretty girl. Everybody knew she was a pretty girl, and yet she seemed so incredibly insecure sometimes. Which was weird, because he knew that she was well-aware of her own prettiness.

He didn't understand why she refused to wear make-up even when offered to have a fun night with it by the Hufflepuff girls, why she sometimes made sure not to brush her hair, and why she walked with her head down, her hair being a curtain meant to hide her face.

Lee had never seemed more insecure than that day. It was a rare October sunshine day, and everybody was walking around the courtyard, including them. But she was keeping her head down, barely looking up at him in fear of showing too much of her face.

"What's going on with you?" Fabian suddenly asked, even if they were in the middle of a conversation comparing French rockstars with British ones.

Lee didn't even look up at him, her face almost completely covered by her thick, blonde hair. "What do you mean?"

"Why do you keep hiding your face like that? It's weird," he said bluntly. He knew he probably should have said it more delicately, but he couldn't see her face so he had no idea what reaction she had so it was slightly harder to care.

She subconsciously raised her fingers to run through her hair nervously, straightening out a tangle she hadn't brushed out that morning. "I just- I just don't look my best today."

"Bullshit," the Prewett boy scoffed, glancing around the courtyard. More people were looking at her than not, even when she seemed to try her best at not being pretty. In fact, she'd never seemed prettier. "I've never seen so many people stare at you, and people stare at you a lot."

"I'm feeling insecure, alright?" Lee snapped, looking up at him with a fierce look. It was quite defensive, but it meant he got to see her face, so he was happy about that. He just wanted her to come out of her shell to other people, not just him and Gideon.

He immediately raised his hands in surrender, raising his eyebrows in shock. She didn't really snap much at him during the month they'd known each other. "Alright, but there's no reason to be is all I'm saying."

Her face fell a bit, seeming guilty for being a bit mean to him. She forced a slight smile on her face. "Thanks, Fabian."

He didn't seem that bothered, immediately brightening up and grinning at her. "Anytime."

For the first moment in a while, Lee found herself completely taken with her friendship with Fabian. She grinned up at him, momentarily forgetting about how she had been trying to hide her face from the world, forgetting that she had decided to try to hide from everyone but him.

Unfortunately, that also meant she forgot to pay attention to her surroundings. The things she had taken for granted, the things she had sensed and gotten used to over the past month seemed to fade as she didn't pay attention to it.

He had noticed it, though, thankfully. He was almost a moment too late himself, but Remus managed to catch himself before walking right into Lee and knocking them both down on the ground because he'd been so immersed in the book he'd been reading while walking (why did he read while walking anyway? Wasn't just that stupid?)

She looked up at him as he stopped, both their eyes wide. They were standing right in front of one another, their chests only inches away from touching. Remus and Lee could almost feel each other's heartbeats and could easily hear one another's shallow breathing as they stood face to face for the first time in what felt like ages.

Lee had to force herself to breathe as he looked right into her eyes, almost forgetting how. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him clutching whatever book he was holding so hard his knuckles were turning white.

The world seemed to fade around them for a moment, which made Lee ask herself the same questions she'd asked herself ever since she saw him. What was it about Remus Lupin that made her feel like this?

"Alright, now this is just getting too weird," Fabian commented from Lee's side, his eyes furrowed in confusion. Sure, he'd seen sexual tension before but he had no idea what the fuck this shit was.

His words finally seemed to bring them out of their own world. Lee's face fell a bit, yet she kept her soft gaze on him, trying to truly look at him now that he wasn't running away whenever she was around. It was a rare opportunity to try to get some answers, even if she didn't dare talk to him, like she'd startle him and he'd run away.

Remus immediately looked away from her, as if it hurt to look into her eyes. His eyes were darting around, as if he was looking for an escape route to get as far away from her as possible. It wouldn't surprise her considering their history.

After only a few seconds, he seemed to realize the best course of action would be to just walk away. He forced his feet to move, even if they didn't seem to want to. It was like they wanted to stay close to Lee while he internally had to yell at himself again. He was doing that a lot lately.

But he walked away, he managed to do it, to force himself. Accidentally, though, his arm bare arm brushed against her as he rushed past. She shivered, even if it wasn't cold at all. The skin underneath her sweater was tingling. She turned her head, her gaze following him as he rushed away as quickly as he could.

Fabian only rolled his eyes, thinking this was way too overdramatic. "Honestly..."

══════════════════

The day became night and almost every student at Hogwarts were safely tucked into their beds or breaking the rules by being out and about, though few dared to do so when it was the full moon after there were rumours that there were werewolf cubs in the Forbidden Forest.

Lee wasn't in bed. She wasn't breaking the rules by being outside either. She sat by the Black Lake, staring at her own reflection. She liked sitting by water during the full moons, especially when she could feel it underneath her fingertips. Her father had set it up for her back at Beauxbatons, and again at Hogwarts, even if some of the teachers were a bit concerned about it.

She usually didn't like looking at herself, especially in the time around the full moon, but she usually found herself unable to look away once the night finally came and she saw her face surrounded by an ethereal silver glow in the ripple of the water.

The blonde sighed as she used her fingers to rip across her reflection, trying to destroy it so she could look away. She didn't want to be one of those people who stared at her. She got enough of it from other people after all.

With no reflection to look at for a moment, she turned her head to the side. She didn't know why, but underneath the shine of the full moon, her eyes traveled immediately to the Whomping Willow, a tree known for attacking those around. It'd supposedly been planted a few years ago but she didn't know why. And she definitely didn't know why she felt a sudden urge to approach it. It made no sense, but a lot of things hadn't made sense since she moved to the UK.

She hesitantly pulled herself to her feet, frowning deeply as she wondered why she felt so drawn to a tree of all things. First Remus Lupin who she didn't know, now a bloody tree. What was up with her? Was this a sign she should have stayed in France? She was starting to think so.

The branches of the tree were waving around as usual, looking for anybody to hit and cause serious harm to. She didn't know why she wasn't scared, but she was getting pissed off at herself for it. Why was she doing this? Why wasn't she scared of a murderous tree?

Lee quickly ducked as a branch seemed to get a little close. Her body was begging for her to run away and save herself, to get back to the safety of the edge of the Black Lake. But her head was begging her to keep going, while her eyes traveled to a knot on a tree.

She hurriedly grabbed a free tree branch that had fallen on the ground. She glanced to the side, wanting to make sure that no branch was flying at her head as she ran as quickly as she could to the edge of the tree. She decided to try pressing the knot with the stick, to find out what happened. Something had to happen or it wouldn't be there.

The branches of the willow suddenly stopped in its position and Lee only then noticed that one of the branches had stopped dangerously close to her head. She had to force herself to keep breathing, at the same time she was internally praising herself for being able to figure out a way to stop the tree. That might come in handy one day.

Lee hadn't been so close to the tree before, and she doubted many students had been. Maybe that's why none of them had noticed what seemed like the opening of a secret passageway. She supposed that's why the willow had been planted, to hide whatever was hiding in there.

Something inside her was begging to enter the opening, pushing herself through. It was quite filthy, with dirt on the ground which nobody seemed to care enough to clean up. She didn't mind much though, she just wanted to see what was at the end of this literal tunnel.

The blonde pushed ahead, noticing sounds as she seemed to get closer to the end. Grunts and groans, it sounded like someone was angry and someone was in pain. For some reason, she had a feeling it was the same person.

She hurried a bit more, her footsteps probably catching the attention of whoever was there by now. She could see another door at the end of the tunnel, and she could hear what sounded like scratching at the other side. Every logical side of her was begging not to open it because it seemed like whatever was in there could probably kill her.

So why wasn't she scared? She wanted to be scared and run away, and yet both her body and her mind only seemed to want to venture forward with absolutely no fear for what laid beyond the door.

Lee hesitated as she stood right in front of the door, her hand on the handle. The scratching had stopped, but she could hear heavy breathing, more like panting, on the other side. Whatever was on the other side seemed to be waiting for her.

She twisted the knob hesitantly, though strangely eager to get inside. She opened the door, and all she could do was stare at the sight that met her. She should have expected it, she supposed. But she wouldn't have thought there was a werewolf down there.

He was large, towering over her easily at the moment. She'd always thought that werewolves would attack immediately, or that if she ever met one that she'd scream immediately because she'd be so scared. Why wasn't she?

She swallowed a lump in her throat as she stared at the hairy being in front of her, which was only staring at her back. She couldn't understand why neither of them were doing anything but stare, but the situation felt strangely familiar.

The werewolf took a step closer, so she could touch him if she wanted. She'd barely have to reach out to feel him, to see if she'd get a bodily reaction that would confirm her suspicions. She hadn't dared to look at his eyes, but she knew that if she did, she'd get the answer she wanted.

She glanced up, making eye contact with him. She reached out her hand, and he seemed to be awaiting the touch as though he was excited for it for a moment. Like he wanted it, which wasn't something she'd think possible from a werewolf.

But the minute her fingertips met the skin underneath the hair, he pulled back and aggressively clawed at his own face, squealing and screaming, which was followed by an anguished howl that broke Lee's heart in two. She covered her mouth to keep from screaming, something she knew she should have done ages ago.

She turned her head away, running out the door and closing it. She leaned her back against it, tears in her eyes as she listened to the werewolf injure himself more and more every second. And she quite sure it was because of her.

And there was one more thing she was sure of after having looked into the werewolf's eyes and easily recognizing the exact shade of brown that had occupied her mind for ages. The werewolf was Remus Lupin.

══════════════════

A/N: Yeah, I randomly republished this fic in the middle of night. What about it?