AREUM & THE DISCIPLES:

hoebi, kookachu, chaejin, areum

CHAEJIN:
wow you guys are faker than taehyung's jordans

CHAEJIN:
you guys did last night's physics hw together

CHAEJIN:
without me???

YOU:
my jordans are real so idk what tf ur talkin bout

AREUM:
me reading this

CHAEJIN:
im ascending to new life now gtg

KOOKACHU:
iM CRI

YOU:
BUT MY JORDANS ARE REAL

AREUM:
yeah, and park jimin has no ass

HOEBI:
thirst trap park jimin or sweetheart student body pres park jimin?

AREUM:
thottie park jimin fuck u think

HOEBI:
yeah he thicc

YOU:
gaYYYY

KOOKACHU:
how to spot a fuckboy: a two step manual by jeon jungkook

KOOKACHU:
step one: read taehyung's last text and close ur eyes

KOOKACHU:
step two: sigh as u begin to understand

AREUM:
dude how are u that hetero wtf

YOU:
what's wrong with liking pussy

HOEBI:
ain't nothing wrong widdit my g

HOEBI:
i think we're all a little gay though

CHAEJIN:
"a little gay"

CHAEJIN:
that's an understatement

AREUM:
hoseok, we've all seen the way you look at min yoongi

YOU:
you get like this cute little twinkle in your eye

AREUM:
and this really discomforting happy aura around you

YOU:

the kind of aura i've only ever seen you give off after you got your quadrogintuple vanilla bean mocha frap for free on your birthday

HOEBI:
he's my homie tho we like

HOEBI:
we like came out the womb holding hands n shit

AREUM:
okay and?

AREUM:
i have a twin sister and i don't even look at her with that much love

YOU:
there's two of you?

YOU:
........is she single?

AREUM:
no she's multiple i just told you we're twins there's two of us

AREUM:
more than one is plural u fool

AREUM:
smh what a dope

YOU:
ayyyy but tell her hmu on kik though

AREUM:
okay i'll be sure to tell her on february 31st

YOU:
alright good looks, thanks fam

YOU:
......

YOU:
i just took another L didn't i

CHAEJIN:
do you want the truth or a fabrication of lies

YOU:
damn

KOOKACHU:
wait whoa whoa whoaaa wait a minute we gotta put this bitch in reverse

KOOKACHU:
a quadrogintuple vanilla bean mocha frap? wtf did i read that right

HOEBI:
yes yes you did

HOEBI:
the quadrogintuple vanilla bean mocha frap: a 98 oz vanilla bean, mocha, caramel-hazelnut drizzle dream topped with whipped cream and 40 shots of espresso

YOU:
51,000 won's worth of diabetes

YOU:
all for free

HOEBI:
all thanks to my starbucks gold card and birthday rewards coupon

AREUM:
damn hobes you're truly living the dream

HOEBI:
can you stop calling me hobes?

HOEBI:
jeez

HOEBI:
that sounds like a synonym for pubes or something

YOU:
i haven't cut my hobes in a minute tbqh

KOOKACHU:
but why did you tell me that

YOU:
i said tbqh i thought i should be transparent with u guise

KOOKACHU:
jfc the "tbqh" does not cancel out everything that's wrong with that sentence ??????

AREUM:
well "tbqh" i would kill myself if i ever had to give u a blowjob

AREUM:
and bless the brave soul who does bc i don't think i'd be able to keep up with the amount of hair that would end up in my teeth afterwards

AREUM:
there'd probably be an entire brillo pad in her mouth by the time she's done

YOU:
wait are you implying you would give me a blowjob???

YOU:
that's sick!!!

YOU:
so when do you wanna start?