Special Chapter: The World in Her Eyes

She couldn't exactly remember the path to her own house. Well, not really. She knew as well that she in fact didn't have a house to begin with. Throughout her days living in poverty, she slept anywhere, everywhere, with nowhere to go to.

A girl with tattered clothing, a girl whose hair smelled like dandruff, a girl without a name. Somehow she managed to live her life to the fullest despite not possessing all the things people in general have.

That day felt like magic to her. An ordinary day turned into miracle from the second she accidentally stepped on Jumin Han's shoe.

She stepped back. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Don't you worry," a voice cut her off, "Jumin doesn't care much about accidents like this." The boy with mint hair gave her a reassuring look.

The Jumin guy replied, "Jihyun, we both know it's impolite to cut other people's sentences." He turned his head to the girl he just met that day. "I'm sorry, were you trying to explain something?"

Her cheeks blushed in embarrassment. "Y-yes, but it's okay. I apologize for stepping on your shoe. Is there something I can do to repay my mistake?" Judging from the shoes, she knew she was stepping on something really expensive.

Jumin stayed silent, hence Jihyun took over the conversation. "Do you wanna be friends with us? I really want to be friends with girls too. However, the girls I met in church and in school said Jumin and I are too boring."

"I don't think I deserve to—"

"I take that as a yes," Jihyun exclaimed then shook her hand.

"Jihyun, you're being impolite again," said Jumin.

She couldn't process what was happening to her. The only thing she knew, they became friends that day. Just like that. She was only ten. The two older guys before her were the ones responsible for every changes in her life. From that day, she learned that the world must've pitied her by giving her such privilege to encountered these two.

She still couldn't forget the blue sky she saw that day. The sunlight, the wind brushing against her cheeks, her eyes staring at the clouds sauntering away.

"I don't have anything, though," she admitted.

"You have us now," Jihyun assured.

"No, I mean..." she was too flustered by their wholesomeness. "I don't even have a name." She played with her fingers, still embarrassed.

"Elizabeth," Jumin muttered out of the blue.

Jihyun clicked his fingers. "Sounds good!"

Jumin's eyebrows twitched. "No, I was referring to the answer to number 12 across on the crossword I did yesterday."

"I like it, though," she admitted. They looked pleased too, even though it was a rushed decision. It's not like she cared.

They were just vibing.

┉┉

Jumin and Jihyun lived in a very rich neighborhood. It's a fact that everyone couldn't help but get jealous of Elizabeth was aware with this fact as well. In fact, she often dreamed about switching life with them. Even so, she was glad for everything that happened to her. They're both nice people.

When Elizabeth was still young, Jumin and Jihyun would provide her with a shit ton amount of food in Jumin's mansion since his father rarely came home. She would bring the foods to her parents.

Their kindness didn't stop there, though. After knowing how poor her family was, Jihyun rented an apartment on his behalf for Elizabeth and her family to stay in. When her parents were sick, they helped them by paying the hospital fees, but unfortunately they were too ill to continue living. At first her mother died after fighting with her illness, then her husband followed soon afterwards due to excessive complications he faced from mourning over his wife's death. Jumin and Jihyun played a big part on giving her ears to listen to when she needed it the most. She couldn't describe how grateful she was to be their friend.

In one of their teenage years, Jumin came out from the closet and dated Jihyun. She felt happy for them, although the relationship didn't last long. They realized how much their relationship might impact their parents' career as successful businessmen, therefore they ended their relationship as their feelings toward each other slowly faded out as well.

A year later, Jihyun found himself a girl he loved so much. At that time, their relationship seemed smooth and perfect. Nonetheless, Jumin and Elizabeth didn't know how toxic their relationship were. Jihyun's girlfriend was a little too obsessive. This result in their friendship as well. Ever since Jihyun had been distancing himself, Jumin and Elizabeth had gotten closer more than they expected.

To celebrate Elizabeth's birthday as she turned eighteen, Jihyun and his girlfriend paid a surprise visit and then gave her a present.

It was a cat. A Persian cat to be specific.

Jihyun mentioned a couple of times on how the cat reminded him of Elizabeth because of her white, clean fur that represents pure and innocence somewhat made him think about Elizabeth when he first met her as a kid.

"She will be Elizabeth the 2nd," he shifted his head to the other cat, added, "and she will be Elizabeth the 3rd." He pointed at the kitten.

Jumin eyes followed the cute kitten. She let out a small voice as she approached Jumin's shoes and nuzzled there. Her mother, Elizabeth the 2nd, was kept by Jihyun and his girlfriend named Rika.

It was a simple birthday party held for special people.

As if nothing had happened, Jihyun disappeared and never came back. He did return once or twice, but only to disappear again. This resulted Jumin and Elizabeth's friendship to develop further until they had reached a certain point where they acknowledged that it's no longer platonic.

They dated in secret while growing up together. No one knew about this secret relationship apart from the people who worked in the Han's mansion, and luckily they kept their mouth shut.

However, everything went wrong when they accidentally went further. That day, Elizabeth realized that she's pregnant. Still, she didn't have the audacity to tell Jumin's father. Well, whether she tried to hide it or not, Jumin's father wouldn't have noticed either way because he mostly spent his time in his office or going to business trips. At night, he would spend it with different women he was interested in. As long as Elizabeth didn't go out telling the whole world she's pregnant, no one would ever noticed.

She decided to keep going forward. Jumin also tried to help her in many ways during her pregnancy despite having zero knowledge in that subject.

Sometimes Elizabeth would get excruciatingly worried about their future. She continuously rambled about how guilty and stupid she was. In this kind of situation, Jumin would remind her that it's okay. After all, Jumin's birth was kind of the same. With his father falling in love with a random woman, fucked her, and then baby Jumin was born to this world. A year later, the woman ran away. Simple as that. The Han's family had always been like that. Surprisingly she found that family secret to be reassuring, judging from her experience.

They were just vibing.

┉┉

Ji means love and Sung means star because he was born when the stars were beautifully aligned. That way, the name Jisung was created at September 14th. Although it's a common name, in their eyes there's only one Han Jisung in the world that matters.

In Elizabeth's eyes, Jisung was the greatest gift she had ever received. Whenever bad days arrived, baby Jisung would crawl to her foot as she lifted his tiny body and placed him on her arms, embracing the boy then placed a tender kiss on the top of his head.

Yes, raising a child was a pain in the ass. She had to change his diaper, bathe him, provide him with enough milk and baby food, be extra careful with everything, and etcetera. However, all the tiredness immediately disappeared once she saw Jisung's smile. For her, a baby's smile is like a gift for working so hard.  Pure, angelic, innocent smile that should be protected from all the dangers in this world. No matter how many times she had seen people with beautiful smiles, no smile can beat a baby's genuine smile, especially Jisung's.

She would give all her love to Jisung. Every night she would sing him the same lullaby over and over again because Jisung liked it. She was in charge of Jisung, whereas Jumin was in charge of Elizabeth the 3rd because he couldn't handle kids. By doing so, Jisung grew more attached to his mother rather than to his father.

One day, she went outside to get some fresh air only to found herself stuck in the middle of memories. She was at that place where she met Jumin and Jihyun at the first time. Nothing much had changed. Only the appearance of a new bench that's different from the old times.

She sit there to savor the morning sunlight with her eyes closed, mouth humming out the recipe of carrot cake, while her legs jumping up and down continuously to a rhythmical song of carrot cake.

She was so focused on her song, she didn't even feel the subtle movements on the bench after a boy placed his butt there.

She then started to notice the boy's presence when she heard him crying silently as if he's trying to hide it, although it was a futile effort.

Her hand automatically moved to wipe the boy's tears. He seemed like he didn't mind the touch at all.

"Darling, I'm sorry. Today must've been awful for you," she comforted him. "You don't have to hide it. I understand."

He attempted to talk while crying, "I've worked so hard for it. Why do—" The sentences weren't delivered entirely. His words kept getting cut by unstoppable hiccups. She could see the struggles of this boy in a glance.

"It's okay, dear." She fixed his hair without muttering a single word, doing her best to make sure he's taking his time to compose himself.

He spoke again, "I've studied all day and night and still failed," he added, "it's not fair."

"Were you just having your entrance exam?" she assumed, praying inside that she didn't assume wrongly.

"Mmmh." He nodded. "I'm the only one who didn't make it in my friend group. Now I don't know what to do anymore. My life's over."

"Have you informed this to anyone beside me?" she asked.

He nodded again. "Yes," he answered, "I told my family and my friends first. They seemed okay with it, but I'm still not happy with the result."

"Sweetie, failing your college entrance exam doesn't mean your life is over. Even your parents aren't mad, right?" She attempted to make him feel better.

He argued, "No! My parents won't let me take another test next year. They told me it's better to just find a job, but how can I find a job without an educational background?" His tears began to dry, his sadness didn't.

Elizabeth took his words into consideration as she racked her brain to find a solution.

"Can I ask for your name, dear?" she asked in a really calm tone, making it clear that she's not trying to harm him by all means.

"Eunwoo. Cha Eunwoo."

"Look, Eunwoo," she struggled to put it into proper words, "I have an idea, but I don't know whether I'm allowed to do this or not. You see, we're running out of house workers and I think you might be able to work there if I succeeded to persuade a certain someone."

"Please, I hope you can." His eyes sparkling in anticipation. "I can do a lot of things! I can be your personal driver if you want me to. I have a driver's license. Look!" He pulled something out of his pocket, which showed a real driver's license.

She couldn't give him a confirmation, thus they continued to talk comfortably on the bench just as though they're on the same age. It became a habit for them to share a conversation every morning on the bench as she kept updating the news and at last, he's allowed to work in the Han's mansion. When his parents were informed, they approved straight away.

She was so happy that she could change someone's life at the place where she once faced a similar phenomenon.

Eunwoo viewed Elizabeth as his second mother. He yearned to be just like her, especially after seeing her taking care of Jisung every single day. It made him want to take care of Jisung as well. Jisung seemed to like him too and he's really glad for that. Elizabeth told him to not be so nervous and be casual as always, therefore he did as told. Elizabeth was pretty chill too.

They were just vibing.

┉┉

There's no such thing as living a perfect life because life is an angsty teenage girl with issues. When everything goes perfect, only pain will come and your life can't go anywhere but downwards.

In Elizabeth's case, her perfect life turned 180 degrees pre-heated, 5 minutes on the pan, 45 minutes in the oven, pick it out, let it rest, dip it in sauce, slice it into thin cuts, add toppings, and serve. It was like facing Masterchef's pressure test.

The moment she saw the face of Jumin's father when he found out everything, she knew she's doomed. Only a look of disgust was shown on his face. There's no other way to interpret that look.

"It's unfortunate that the kid has already been born. If he's still inside her womb, we still can get rid of the problem," he said. Elizabeth's heart ached upon hearing the way he talked about Jisung. "The only solution is to get rid of this woman and let me arrange you to a marriage with another woman with good reputation and claim that you've been married privately for years to explain the existence of that kid."

Jumin stepped forward. "When you said 'a woman with good  reputation', what type of woman are you talking about? Is Elizabeth not perfect enough to fulfill your satisfaction?" he challenged him.

"Jumin, you might have been too attached to that woman until you lost your rational mind. She clearly doesn't possess the qualities of an ideal woman," he specified, "she doesn't have a good educational background, no job experience, no family background that would support your marriage, nor the presence of a trustworthy woman. Whatever excuses you make, my decision won't change."

If it weren't for his rational mind, Jumin would have smacked that man down, but he's Jumin Han.

"One can be called trustworthy when that person managed to break down your walls and build a new one together. I believe you have no rights to use such term because I have spent a lot of times with her and throughout my life I've never met someone as trustworthy and dependable as her," he added, "whatever prejudice you have against her, I am an adult too, meaning I'm able to decide my future without someone else interfering what I've accomplished. I respect your opinion and I won't hold grudges against you as a good son. However, just like you, my decision won't change as well."

Elizabeth didn't remember much, or more like she refused to remember such awful day like that day, yet she maintained a cheerful face when she's feeding Jisung. After hearing the words from Jumin's father, a lot of thoughts kept running on her mind.

She's always aware that she's lacking a lot of things, but still, her heart throbbed whenever she recalled the fact that Jumin's father referred her precious Jisung as 'a problem'. True, the birth of Jisung may be a mistake. Nevertheless, she acknowledged her mistake and move forward. If she could make a wish, she only wished all the happiness for Jisung.

Jumin had attempted several times to comfort her, but to no avail. His words were very encouraging, but it had no impact to her wellbeing. It's like she's distancing herself before the feelings stabbed harder.

"Elizabeth, listen to me," said Jumin.

"What else do you want to say? Do you regret defending me when everything he said was true? I am just a nobody after all." Tears almost fell from her eyes. Somehow she could hold them despite all the burdens.

"A lot of people are tied to their past and feel anxious about the unclear future. But the present is the most important for me. I feel the most alive when I exist in the present with you by my side."

Her sight blurred while thinking about Jumin's words. Sometimes she hated the way Jumin's always good with words. What irked her the most was his last sentence before she shut him off.

"Elizabeth, my words right now may not affect you, but please remember," he continued, "words become meaningful once they reached you."

She still couldn't register the hidden message he's trying to tell her, therefore she spent the rest of the day hiding her pain while silencing her voice.

Except the fact that there's no hidden message to be delivered.

At this point they're not vibing anymore.

┉┉

Elizabeth thought that she had enough. She had tried many times to be more positive and to believe in Jumin, but she's had enough. Her life had been going nowhere but downwards and it made her more anxious within each second she stepped her foot on the Han's mansion.

"Did you eat?" Jumin asked her as she entered his room. She was drowning in pain in which Jumin failed to notice. To be frank, Jumin couldn't sense veiled emotions ever since he was born. Elizabeth used this moment to her advantage.

She ignored his question. "Jumin, can you take care of Elizabeth the 3rd?"

He answered, "Of course I can. I think I've been taking care of her really well."

She nodded. "I know, but Jihyun gave Elizabeth the 3rd to me, not you. However, I couldn't really keep my eyes on her since I have Jisung, but you're always there for her. What if I just give her ownership to you? You can take care of her better than anyone else in the world."

"Does it really matter, though?"

"Yes, it does," she refrained from talking too much. "I'm just stating this so you can officially be her owner, not me. Do you have any objection?"

"No," he said without hesitation. He didn't know what's coming to him.

She then walked away. Once she exited Jumin's room, she went to her room to grab all her items and bid her farewell to Jisung. She acknowledged that she didn't deserve to have a wonderful life. Everything that she'd been through were all blessings to be left forgotten.

"Mommy, are you going somewhere?" Little Jisung asked her when he noticed Elizabeth packing her stuffs.

"Yes, Jisung. I'm going outside for a while." She kissed his forehead. Guilt rushed throughout her body endlessly.

Jisung only leaned forward, meaning he wanted another kiss, hence she granted his wish as she leaned forward and placed kisses all over Jisung's voice. He laughed due to its ticklish feeling, same for Elizabeth.

When both of them had enough, she lowered her body to face Jisung completely. "Jisung, always remember this," she said, "you have to keep going forward. Despite all the circumstances, I'm always here... in your heart, so you don't have to be sad because it will make me sad as well."

"I'm not sad," he admitted a little too soon.

"But you cry a lot, don't you?" she teased. Jisung puffed his cheeks in embarrassment.

"O-okay! I won't cry anymore. Jisung is a big boy."

Yes, you're a big boy. She smiled upon hearing his statement and once again, she showered him with kisses before she left.

On her way to the front gate, she accidentally stumbled on someone. She was about to apologize before getting herself interrupted.

"Mrs. Han?" Eunwoo tapped on Elizabeth's hand to make sure he's not hallucinating. His expression went blank once he saw the suitcase. "Mrs, Han, are you trying to leave?"

She felt bitter, but she knew she got to be honest to him. "Eunwoo, I'm not trying to leave. I'm leaving. Please take care of Jisung for me."

Eunwoo couldn't believe his ears. "What? Please tell me you're coming back." She could hear the desperation in his voice.

"Eunwoo," she said again, "I trust you more than anyone else in the world. Please take good care of Jisung. I honestly don't know where to go now. It's not like I don't wanna stay here any longer, more like I have no rights to be here."

If Jihyun hadn't sold the apartment where Elizabeth used to stay in before she moved in to the Han's mansion, she at least could go there.

Eunwoo got teary really quick. "Can you please stay in my house? Besides, I only work as a driver here. How am I suppose to take care of him?"

"I know you'll be more than just a driver in the future. Please take care of him, and most of all, please don't let anybody know we're having this conversation right now. Not even Jumin. This is our secret. Promise me that you'll take care of Jisung."

Although his vision got blurry due to sadness, he intertwined his pinky finger with Elizabeth's.

Elizabeth wiped his tears. "Eunwoo, promise me something," she whispered, "don't die. Jisung needs you the most."

"I won't."

Then she left. She left him speechless.

The term 'vibing' wouldn't fit anywhere anymore.

┉┉

Underneath the sunlight, Elizabeth walked far away to a secluded area. There she found an empty old building to rest. She walked to the rooftop, right on the edges. Her mind was clouded with never-ending thoughts, making her condition worse.

She's not okay.

The ray of sunlight didn't do her any justice. She had been piling up her emotions until it reached its peak at that exact moment. Tears fell down like waterfall. All the loneliness she had been bearing to live with eventually overcame her at the point where she started to have suicidal thoughts because her heart hurt so bad, she could barely breathe properly.

She didn't want Jisung to be like her. That's why she left him with Eunwoo. It was for the best. She bet Jumin's father would be delighted to hear the news that she's gone.

She was at the stage of life where she almost end everything. Besides, jumping would be far easier than to live.

That's when a hand stopped her from doing so. A hand gripped her strong enough at the right time and pulled her away from the edges. It was a hand of a woman she never met.

"Don't." She didn't say anything after that. Instead, she pulled her to a tight hug and embraced her while Elizabeth was busy crying on her shoulder.

They actually talked after she sorted her emotions. Elizabeth didn't care anymore, she told her everything because when things were all over the place, no one could pay attention to whom they're speaking to. It was all a spontaneous action.

The woman who saved her earlier asked her to stay at her house. She then learned that they're at the same age and then she introduced her son, Lee Minho, also her husband.

As time went by, she's starting to get used to live in the Lee's household. Besides, everyone's so friendly here, unlike the people on the Han's family. Her mental condition was slowly getting better each day as they provided her with ears to listen to. Because sometimes the sentence "I'm listening" sounds better than "I love you" in many circumstances.

Minho's a nice kid. He welcomed her company without hesitation. Every time the mothers started talking about children, the more she realized how cruel of her to leave Jisung.

Elizabeth was cleaning the table when she heard Mrs. Lee said, "I wish your Jisung could meet my Minho somewhere in the far future." But of course they shrugged it off with a laughter.

Unfortunately her happiness didn't last long like last time.

Minho's parents got into a car accident which resulted in their death. She was so frustrated when she heard the news because they were kind people, and especially because she felt bad for Minho. He was just a kid.

After their funeral, Minho's grandparents moved in to take care of  Minho. However, Minho seemed to not clicked with them. Minho felt more affectionate towards Elizabeth and she saw this as a sign to redeem herself. She always viewed herself as a failed mother to Jisung, therefore she wanted to raise Minho well for the sake of his parents who saved her from all the wounds she left opened.

Despite not signing any papers, she still took care of Minho. His grandparents were actually glad of her existence because they were also mourning inside. She didn't adopt him, she knew she had no rights to do so. Nevertheless, she poured her love to Minho. For her, raising Minho was her second chance, therefore she's not going to waste it.

Sometimes she would notice that Minho wasn't as bright as he used to be after his parents death. She wanted to cheer him up, for that reason she took him on a walk to an ice cream parlor and bought him his favorite ice cream. After that, she took him to an adoption center for pets.

Minho's eyes shined so bright once he was met with so many cats in one place. She then let him adopt three cats in attempt to make him feel better. He named them Soon-ie, Doong-ie, and Dori.

She still couldn't forget the blue sky she saw that day. The sunlight, the wind brushing against her cheeks, her eyes staring at the clouds sauntering away.

┉┉

4.3K words ouch...