Okay stop right there. You think you're having a bad day? You're fucking wrong. So very wrong. Like, seriously wrong. Be glad.

A bird took a crap on your car? It's not actually that big of a deal. Just clean it off if you even care that much. Or let the rain take care of it.

Dog left a steaming hot pile on your floor? That's gross, but it can still be fixed. Baking soda is your best friend to eliminate stains and bad odors from rugs and fabrics.

Notice how lots of these 'problems' have to do with poop. Not mine though. My problem is worse than any load some cross eyed bird or dog can unleash. No, my problem is weirder.

I randomly get turned into a cat.

At first I was shocked. Who wouldn't be? There was no warning whatsoever. Nothing to prepare me for minding my business, going about my day normally as usual, then BAM! I'm a cat.

There wasn't anything dramatic like a puff of smoke or a bright flash to draw too much attention to myself, I just... turned into a cat. One moment, an unassuming teenage girl, the next, fluffy kitty.

I didn't know if I would ever turn back, and if my life was over or not, but somehow I would be back to normal again before anyone knew I was missing. It was crazy. I thought I had been hallucinating or drugged, something that could logically explain this, but no.

It had to have been a month after my first transformation that I turned into a cat again. I was relaxed, sprawled out on the couch with my girlfriend, just the two of us. My mom had gone out of town for the weekend, and like the untrustworthy child I am, I invited people over. More specifically, the love of my life.

We talked for some time about our secret relationship, and how it might work through the years if we lasted long enough. Would we get married? Adopt children? Or maybe a sperm donor? We didn't know.

"I don't really care." She said after a little bit. "Whatever we do, I'd like to do it with you." I remember feeling something in the chest flutter and swell. "Ditto," I replied, tilting my head to take in my love's full, trusting gaze. "As long as I'm with you, I can survive whatever life throws at us."

She smiled, and leaned in. My heartbeat quickened. We were gonna kiss! It had been some time since our first one. We didn't at all know what we were doing, and I ended up getting my bottom lip stuck in her braces when she gave me a little nibble.

Things would be different now. I would pay more attention.

We got closer, feeling each other's breaths tickle against our skin, eyelids sliding shut. I prepared to feel my girlfriend's lips brush softly against my own, the like sweet caress of ruby red roses against butterfly wings, but nothing came.

I heard a gasp of shock above my head and immediately felt alarm shoot through my veins. Had my mom come home? Did she see us about to kiss just now? Maybe that's why my girlfriend's lips failed to reach mine.

I opened my eyes, disappointed. Of course. That makes sense why she would pull back. I opened my mouth, ready to defend us from a onslaught of questions and accusations, but my mom wasn't there. I didn't even hear her voice. My love's familiar thin blue jacket sat in front of my face.

I looked up. Way up.

"Oh my God..." She breathed, her lips twitching a bit in the ghost of a smile. I let out a low meow of embarrassment and shame. This wasn't just a bad time. It was God awful. I had completely forgotten about my last predicament, and it seems it had come back to ruin my life.

"Oh my God," she repeated again. I wanted to explain, to find some sort of excuse, but I couldn't speak. Not English anyway. Not like I had anything to say. How could you explain this? I had no idea.

I tensed, waiting for my relationship to fall apart. Who would want a girl that occasionally and uncontrollably turned into a cat? The idea of being alone made my throat tighten with sorrow.

"You're so CUTE!"

I felt my girlfriend lift me off of my spot on the couch, and hug me close, showering my head with kisses. Shocked, I just took it all in as she squealed with delight and gushed over my new furry form.

I transformed back a few hours later, much to my girlfriend's half displeasure. While she was glad I had regained my true form, she was slightly disappointed she couldn't play with Kitty-Me longer. I told her that this had happened before, and that it would probably happen again in the future.

Time had gone by slowly after that event. Three months had passed without incident, and I had almost forgotten about my ailment. Almost. My lovely girlfriend and I now had two secrets to share, and it was a popular conversation starter when we were alone.

"Did you turn into a cat again?"

"No, thank goodness."

"Aw, well I still love you the way you are."

"I love you too Sweetie. Wanna go get ice-cream?"

"Hell yeah."

And that's how it would go. Occasionally, I would joke that she might turn into a dog to go with my cat as two odd couples. The thought was amusing, and we often drew animal versions of ourselves interacting with the now different world.

I slowly began to see my sudden transformations as a way of escape in some aspect. Almost like a dream, but it was very real.

It happened again on a chilly October night. Halloween to be exact.

I didn't normally trick or treat, having not really cared for Halloween for at least five years, but the idea of spending time with my beloved was more than enough to get me onboard.

She was a witch, a beautiful witch mind you. Her pale, glowing skin bounced against her golden hair, her stormy eyes smiling. Her dress was night black, the fabric thin and covered with fake white spider webs. While I brought along an old pillowcase to hold my sweet treasures, she carried around a pumpkin bucket. Cute and classy.

I forgot how long we walked for, but the little kids had been gone for about an hour, so we had to have been out past ten o'clock. I was exhausted, and wanted to go home and sleep. However, she wasn't done yet. "Just a few more houses to go," she promised. "Then we'll head back."

I agreed, then took a step forward and collapsed, my now huge costume collecting around me in as blanket like cushion. I poked my head out of my collar and meowed in annoyance, sneezing as the cool air hit my nose.

"Awwww! This'll never get old." My girlfriend said, bending down and scoping me out of my fabric prison. She cradled me in one arm as she stuffed my costume in my pillowcase, and emptied all of her candy in after it.

She placed me into her pumpkin where it was surprisingly comfortable, almost like a cat was meant to sit in it. I gave her a look. "Don't worry," she said petting my head gently. "You won't turn back until later, so you don't have to worry about ruining around naked okay?"

I just huffed, deciding to accept this and enjoy the ride. Being the taller girl in human form, I did always wonder what it was like to be carried around.

We came across this house decorated with some cutesy ghost across the lawn, and some scattered gravestones and fake spiders the size of golden retrievers. Going up to the door, she rang the bell and waited with a small smile.

A woman answered, carrying a bowl full of king sized Hershey bars. My eyes widened. What luck! This lady was a gold mine! She regarded me with a fond glance, tilting her head. "What a pretty kitty little witch!" She exclaimed, grabbing a few bars and depositing them into the waiting pillowcase.

"Thanks," my girlfriend replied. She gave my name to the woman, and said something that made my hair stand up. "Only, she's not a cat. She's my girlfriend. I just keep turning her into a cat, that's all." And with an otherwise concerning smirk, she shared a laugh with the woman who praised her 'creativity' then bid us goodnight. I wanted to believe she was joking, but that worrying, mischievous smile never fell from my girlfriend's face when we left.

And I never changed back.