I can't believe my best friends have planned all this behind my back. Never even told me about it.

"I really wish you could move in with us, Kit," Felice says. "We both do."

Spike nods and reaches out to take my hand, but I jerk it away.

"Come on, Kit," he says. "Don't be like this. You'd be able to visit us every day if you want. It's only down the road from St Catherine's."

"Yeah," Felice tries to smile though she knows how gutted I am. "You can come back with me after class."

It's true we're allowed out in the afternoons, but class ends at 4.00 and we've to return in time for a roll call before supper at 6.00. Two short hours. It's not enough time to do anything and I can already imagine how it will play out. Felice will have other stuff on most days, and even if we do go to her house, there'll be barely time for a cup of tea and quick chat before I've to head back to St Catherine's.

And Spike. Spike will never be there. He'll be too busy getting involved with the Trinity students union, the entertainments committee and any other activist groups that throw him into the middle of the action, meeting all the cool, interesting people, all the stuff he loves that doesn't exist in Drimshanra.

"Tully. Does Tully know?"

"Why would Tully know?" Felice sounds genuinely perplexed. "This has nothing to do with him."

I don't know why I'm so relieved to hear that. Somehow I couldn't bear it if Tully had been in on it too, if he knew what was going on and said...nothing... hadn't bothered to tell me my two best friends were making plans behind my back.

"You should have told me sooner," I say. "I didn't even know you were thinking about this."

"There was no point," Felice shrugs. "It was just an idea, nothing definite until Spike got his results. Who knew if Dad would agree?"

"But he did." It's not a question and I can't keep the bitterness out of my voice. Of course Axel agreed. When does he ever deny Felice anything?

"Hey," Felice's tone softens. She moves to put an arm around me, but I shrug it off. "I'm not like you, Kit. I can't stay in St Catherine's. I feel trapped in boarding school. They don't let us do anything."

No, I think. It's a boarding school. That's the whole point. And that's exactly why my parents are happy to have me in St Catherine's and would hate to have me sharing a house with Felice and Spike.

"You know I only want to do art," Felice continues trying to wheedle her way around me. "Everything else, Irish, maths, French, just feels like such a waste of time. I'm never going to use any of it. It's different for you. You're academic and you need to get all those points to do law. If they accept my portfolio for art college, all I need is to scrape a pass. That's the deal I've made with Dad. He says he'll go along with the experiment, even pay for extra portfolio classes at the weekend. I'll be eighteen next year and Dad says if I screw it all up, it's on me. I can look after myself. 'Clear up my own mess' is how he put it."

A weak smile slips out. I can almost hear Axel saying it. "There's loads of stuff you're good at," I protest though I know this argument was lost before it ever began. "English, history, biology."

Felice shakes her head. "I'm so sick of it all. I just feel ready to move on but it seems like school never ends. Another year of boarding in St Catherine's is like torture. I've been kicked out of two schools already, and I'm still always in trouble."

That last bit does it. The anger rises in me, pushing down the hurt. Felice is full of shit. She's always in trouble because she goes looking for it. She loves being the wild child, the rebel, terrifying everyone with her nerve and audacity, her tattoo and blue hair.

But, for once, this is not about her.

My world has fallen apart and I need to get away.

Spike and Felice are doing their best to hide it, but they're all excited about the coming year, while my future has crumbled to dust. When I'm gone they can make all the plans they want.

"Kit, what's the matter?" My mother answers the phone when I ring home. "Your father's coming to get you this evening."

"I want to come home now."

She clicks her tongue. She doesn't like being put on the spot, even when she's nothing planned.

"I can't come now. I'm getting the lunch. I'll come over afterwards, around two."

"Thanks Mum."

Waiting for my mother is the longest hour I've ever spent with Felice and Spike. None of us know what to say and the silence that stretches between us is charged with tension. We're all together but the energy that used to bind us no longer flows between us.

I'm the outcast, exiled from the group.

I know they feel bad about it, but that just makes it worse.

"You should stay," Spike says but he doesn't really mean it. He just wants to make me feel better, as if anything can make me feel better.

"You'll come round again?" Felice asks before I go.

She gives me a quick squeeze when I don't reply. "Think about it."

For once I'm glad my mother never comes into Axel's house.

Usually I wish she'd try to appear a little more friendly and forthcoming but today it's relief that she doesn't even get out of the car, just sits there waiting through our awkward goodbyes.

"Felice isn't going to be boarding next year!" I blurt it out as soon as we're clear of the house.

"Really?" An unspoken question hovers in the air, but my mother is too discreet to ask if Felice has been expelled. She gets answers by waiting for them. It's a skill she has honed to a fine art.

"She's going to be a day girl and share the house in Rathmines with Spike," I say.

"That house was one of her father's better investments," my mother observes. She still thinks the video rental business is a house of cards that could collapse at any minute, even though she's been saying that forever, while Axel Carr continues to rake it in. 

"He bought it at just the right time. Prices in Dublin have sky-rocketed since. I did suggest to your father that we should do something similar," she pauses for a moment. "But of course, you'd just started St Catherine's and he felt trying to cover the costs of both your education and a house would be too much of a stretch."

This is my mother's way of cheering me up, reminding me how everything they do is for me whether I want it or not. No pressure there.

"In any case, with the exams next year, you'll have so much study to do, you won't have time to miss Felice."

Of course, for my mother, this is the best news ever. She's delighted Felice won't be around to distract me from working towards my future in Lawless & Sons.

Too late, I wish I hadn't rung her.

As if she senses my thoughts she pats my knee. "It won't be that bad. Rathmines is only down the road from St Catherine's and you have the afternoons off. You'll be able to pop out now and then to visit. It will be a nice break for you."

"Yeah, maybe." I turn my face towards the window and let the world slip by. There is no point continuing this conversation.

My mother doesn't get it.

She never does.

Author's Note

What do you think? Is this it, the end of Kit's friendship with Felice and Spike?

(a) Yes, Kit won't be able to forgive them. No way!

(b) No, it's not the end but things won't be the same again. Still, the bond they share will always keep them together.

(c) No, Kit will find a way to move in too and everything will be fine.