For a moment we all look at each other. Tully fumbles uncertainly with the case of his guitar. The undercurrent of tension is palpable. It's clear none of the band want to play, and without music, the flowers and picnic seem pointless. The night started out wrong. It was never going to be a success.

"This is bullshit!" Mac spits on the mound, quiet as a grave in the dark. "Why are we even here? This is no place for a party, let's head back to the house."

"Did you believe we could do it?" Tully asks me on the way down.

"Wake Aonghus?" It seems ludicrous now, yet I did half-believe it, but I'm not going to admit that to Tully, so I say nothing.

"It's nice to think there is something out there that can fix all your problems," he says then, "but it's bullshit."

"Yeah." It sums up the overall mood. Everything is bullshit.

"Kit!" His voice is soft in the moonlight and, for once, the tender look in his eye doesn't make me turn away.

"What?" It's meant to be a whisper but comes out harshly, a rasp in the soft night air.

"Nothing." Tully shakes his head and moves away from me, into the darkness, head down, shoulders hunched.

I almost call him back. Unlike Mac, who never paid me any attention, Tully has eyes only for me. It's like he believes he can save me from myself. Perhaps part of me even wants to agree.

He can be the one who saves me from myself.

My eyes have suddenly been opened to the truth.

"Shit."

"What?" Spike pulls at my sleeve.

"Nothing." I shove him off.

"Hey, what's up with Tully?"

I shrug. "How would I know?"

We return to the house defeated. At one point, everyone was going to stay over for a party, but instead of lightening, the mood has only grown darker.

With a sense of anticlimax, Felice, Spike and I watch the band climb into the van. Gravel crunches under the wheels as they accelerate down the avenue in a cloud of dust.

"I should go too," Tully says.

"You can stay over, if you want," Felice offers.

Tully shakes his head and walks to his mother's car. "Thanks anyway."

"What's got into him?" Felice eyes me. "Len wouldn't stay either. We must have lost our touch, eh?" The words are light but she's scowling as she speaks.

I watch Tully's car disappear into the darkness and it feels like part of me is leaving with it.

How could I have been so blind?

Now that I've finally learned to appreciate him, I've lost him.

"Why wouldn't Len stay?" Spike asks.

"Too much shit going on with the band." Felice shrugs but her scowl deepens as she turns away and heads inside.

We follow her up the steps.

Neither of us say a word. We know her too well.

She's furious because Len picked the band over her. He's not as smitten as she thought.

Or maybe she likes him more than she's been letting on.

I turn to Spike and the knowing look on his face confirms my unspoken insight.

Felice has been off with Len so much, and my mind has been so preoccupied with Mac, that I haven't been paying her the same attention as usual.

Now I think about it, she has been quieter lately. Much quieter.

But, falling for Len?

"I just thought it was because he's from London and he's in Black Death," I say to Spike.

"Yeah, well, that was the initial attraction alright, but she likes him now."

"That's great." I'm not entirely sure I mean it, partly because I've lost my chance with Tully. I've acted indifferent so often, he's eventually come to believe it, and now it's too late. But it's not just that. No boyfriend could ever replace what I have with Felice and Spike.

None of us like anyone except each other.

That's the deal.

Except it's all changing, that much has become clear since June, since Tully appeared.

Come September, Spike will be in Dublin and how often will we see him then? What does a weekend in Drimshanra have to offer compared to the bright city lights?

And even if Felice doesn't have Len, she'll have someone else.

It will no longer be just the three of us against the world.

But then it hasn't been for a while, not since Tully appeared.

It's late in the morning when we get up, just the three of us, and the atmosphere is still strained. At first I think it's the residue from last night's failure still hanging in the air, but then Felice clears her throat.

"We need to tell her." She glares at Spike, daring him to disagree.

"Er, now?"

I turn towards him but his eyes shift away, refusing to meet mine.

"There's never going to be a perfect time," Felice says.

"What is this?" I look from one to the other in alarm, wondering what it's about. Mac? Len? Tully? Aonghus?

"You know the way Spike starts in Trinity in September?" Felice says.

"As if any of us could forget!" I exhale in silent relief. This doesn't sound too serious.

"So, we've decided to share a house."

"What?" I stare at her. "But you're still in school."

"Duh. I'll still be in St. Catherine's. I just won't be boarding any more."

No. This is a bolt out of the blue and the worst news possible. St Catherine's. On my own. Stuck in the dorm, having to share with girls who aren't my friends, missing Felice, wondering, all the time, what she and Spike are up to, what I'm missing out on.

"And your dad's ok with this?"

"Yeah, well, he owns the house."

I'd forgotten about Axel's house in Dublin. It's more of a cottage really, in Rathmines somewhere. He bought it years ago for Felice's older brothers to stay in when they were studying.

"And I'll be paying rent," Spike says. "Axel reckons overall it could work out a better deal for him than paying the boarding fees."

The cost of boarding in St. Catherine's is astronomical, as Dad reminds me every opportunity he gets. It's much cheaper to be a day girl.

"You should move in too," Spike adds. "It's big enough for three."

But there's a tentative note in his voice. Both he and Felice know there's absolutely no way my parents would ever agree to that.

"Yeah, right, not gonna happen." I turn away, not wanting them to see the tears welling in my eyes. I can't believe Axel has agreed to such a crazy plan. Surely he knows what Felice is like. She won't do any study in a house with Spike. She'll probably barely even go to school.

Len. She'll have Len around the whole time.

Or she'll be hanging out with Spike, meeting all his new university friends. And I'll be stuck.

I'll be the one left behind.

They're my best friends. We do everything together.

Or so I thought.

Author's Note

So, what do you think about Spike and Felice moving in together?

(a) It's hard on Kit, but understandable that Felice and Spike want to share a house.

(b) Well, Spike has to live somewhere but Felice is definitely abandoning Kit. It's not fair leaving Kit out on her own. 

(c) Felice's dad is mad to let her move out!