Chapter 30

The Last Chapter

Sa harap ng matayog na hospital ay may dalawang bulto ng tao na hindi makagalaw dahil sa mga nalaman nila. Those two people were me and Merculio. Pareho kaming tinatansya ang isa't isa. It's either words will break us or make the both of us.

Hindi ako makapaniwala na umabot kami sa ganito. The revelation made me feel stupid. All this time, I thought it was Ragh or Amanda. Hindi ko kailanman naisip na baka may kinalaman si Merculio rito. I thought that the fates were kind enough to let me meet one of the people I befriended before as a human being.

Siya pala mismo ang nagdala sa akin sa mundong ito.

"Cerenia," ani Merculio habang pilit na tinatanggal ang pagkahawak ko sa kan'ya. I didn't mind the stares. Mas mahalaga sa akin ang malaman kung ano ang totoo.

"Bakit mo 'yon ginawa?"

"Please," Merculio sighed and looked at me in my eyes. Tila ba nagsusumamo na pakawalan ko na siya at huwag na siyang tanungin.

"Trading your soul. . ." I nibbled on my lower lip. "Bakit? Mabubuhay naman talaga ako, Merculio. I just have to wait for a thousand more years and I'll be reborn!"

"That's not true. . ." Umiling-iling si Merculio. "Ang pangako na 'yon ay natutupad lang kapag may taong umiibig sa anak ng hangin. . .you were a mermaid, Cerenia. You were lucky enough to be a daughter of the air, pero ang magkaroon ng kaluluwa? It will require a sacrifice. A soul for a soul. . ."

"And you gave yours. . ." My eyes watered. "For me? B-bakit, Merculio?"

He smiled solemnly. "Mawawala ako kapag sinabi ko e. Pero ang gusto ko ay maging masaya ka, Cerenia. I wasn't able to save you back then, I just want to correct my wrong doings. Sana hindi kita hinayaan mawala noon. . ."

"Hindi ka nag-asawa noon. . ." I recalled the past. I heard Merculio was the only duke who didn't marry anyone. Ang nagmana ng kan'yang lupa ay kamag-anak n'ya lang din.

"Cerenia," he caressed my cheeks. "Whatever your decision is, I hope it will make you happy. Please don't waste this life. Live for me, please be kind to my soul. . ."

"You. . ." I hiccuped due to the tears that I'm trying to contain.

"Wala akong kaluluwa, Cerenia," he laughed, without humor. "Parang ang sama ko palang pakinggan! Pero. . .ayon nga. . ."

I sobbed. "N-no. . ."

"It's okay. . ."

"B-bakit. . .teka. . .mabubuhay naman ako muli e. Bakit kailangan mo pang ibigay ang k-kaluluwa mo?"

I knew that I would be reborn without memories. Kaya nga nagtataka ako kung bakit nakakaalala ako. Alam ko na matatagalan pero kakayanin ko naman maghintay. Why was he impatient? Why didn't he wait for me?

"Because having a soul as a daughter of the air is uncertain and I badly want to see you live again. . ." His eyes were misty as a thin smile appeared on his lips. "Even in my death, I wanted to see you happy."

"Merculio. . ." anas ko.

"Masaya na ako na narinig kitang magsalita, Cerenia. I always admire you from afar. Alam ko rin na si Ragh ang gusto mo kaya hindi na kita nilapitan upang suyuin. I knew that if you were married to him before, you'll be the happiest bride. Hindi ko lang inaasahan na sa iba ikakasal si Ragh. . ."

"Merculio," I whispered in the air. Pinoproseso pa rin sa utak ko ang mga kaganapan.

"I saw you jumped in the sea," Ngumiti si Merculio habang tumutulo ang mga luha. "Buong buhay ko pinagsisihan na hindi ko man lang nasabi na minahal kita kahit may mahal kang iba. Na habang pinagmamasdan mo si Ragh, nakatitig ako sa bawat ngiti mo. You don't have to feel sorry, Cerenia. It was my choice to give you my soul. . .no matter the cost."

"Bakit hindi m-mo ako hinintay na lang?" hagulhol ko. Hindi pinapansin ang biglang pagbuhos ng ulan. Ang pakikidalamhati ng ulap sa aming dalawa.

"Kasi ayoko makalimutan na mahal kita," sagot ni Merculio. "Patawarin mo ako kung dahil sa desisyon ko ay nasaktan kita. Ayoko lang sana na makalimutan na mahal kita, Cerenia. I'd rather watch you fall for someone else than forget that I love you. . ."

I cried and started to throw weak punches on his chest. Gusto ko maramdaman n'ya ang sakit sa dibdib ko. Gusto ko maghinagpis din siya dahil pareho kaming nasasaktan dahil sa desisyon n'ya. I wanted to yell how stupid he was even if it immensely benefited me that he traded his soul for me to be reincarnated.

"C-cerenia, sorry. Hindi ko naman alam na masasaktan ka dahil nakakaalala ka. I just wanted you to be with Ragh, tulad ng pangarap mo noon. I wanted to give you the happy ending that you deserve. . ."

"And you thought that the happy ending that I deserve didn't include you?" I asked, my breathing slowly becoming shallow.

Ngumiti siya. "You didn't pick me in your past, why would I think that I'm included in your future?"

"Merculio—"

"Please, Cerenia. Fall in love. Enjoy your life. Make the most out of it. Hindi mo kailangan bayaran kung ano man ang ginawa ko para sa 'yo. It was my decision, it was my choice."

"I —" napasinghap ako. I didn't know what to say.

""You don't have to love me back," He smiled. "Because the moment that you fall for me is the moment that I'll be gone. I want to live to see you happy, Cerenia. . ."

My heart clenched and there was an empty hollow inside my stomach. Bumalik sa akin ang mga babala ni Seraphina. Hindi ko p'wedeng mahalin pabalik si Merculio. It was the rule for him. It was the pain that he had to pay for in order for me to be reborn with his memories intact.

"Gagawa tayo ng p-paraan, okay? Hindi ako papayag na mawala ka, Merculio. Hindi pa p-pwede kasi. . ." I cried while trying to form words to comfort him.

Ngumiti lang siya at umiling-iling. "Masaya na ako, Cerenia. You don't have to love me back. . ."

"W-why?"

"Because real love is never selfish," he leaned forward and embraced me. Nanginginig pati ang kalamnan ko habang unti-unting pinakikiramdaman ang tibok ng kan'yang puso.

"Your voice is my salvation," he whispered in my ears. "Thank you for letting me hear it, Cerenia."

"H-hindi, teka. . ." I sobbed. Napakapit ako sa kan'yang polo.

"Lalayo ako sa 'yo, pero hindi ibig sabihin n'on ay hindi na kita mamahalin. Remember how you looked out for Ragh even when he was already happy with someone else? I'll be that person too. I'll look out for you amidst the crowd and I'll be the happiest when you find the man for you. . ."

"H-hindi ba talaga p'wedeng. . ." nangangatal na ako. Umiling-iling ako sa kan'ya. "Huwag mo ako iwan. Sorry kung ngayon ko lang nalaman. Sorry kung ngayon ko lang nakita. Sorry kung di kita napansin agad. Merculio —"

He kissed me on my lips. This wasn't the first time that a lip touched mine. However the electric feeling, the warmth and assurance made me feel numb for the very first time.

Napatitig lang ako sa kan'ya. My eyes letting out tears. . . Merculio kissed the tears away, no matter how painful it is for him to give up. He was kissing my sea salt tears to remind me that he did love me more than anyone.

"Sorry. . ." Merculio's tear on his face showed the same bubble effect I had before.

I was shaken. Hindi p'wede. Hindi siya p'wedeng mawala.

"I'm glad that you were able to find out the secret why you can still remember Cerenia. Pero hindi mo ako p'wedeng mahalin pabalik. I will be the one to make sure that won't happen, ako na mismo ang lalayo. . ." paalam n'ya. Unti-unti siyang lumayo sa akin. Gusto ko siyang habulin ngunit napatda ako sa aking kinatatayuan.

Seraphina was still around. I peered at her direction and she was looking at me with pity. Hindi na siya galit o kung ano man. All this time, she also knew about this. Kaya siguro siya galit dahil pakiramdam n'ya nawawalan ng saysay ang sakripisyo ni Merculio no'ng pilit ko tinatakwil si Ragh.

I only loved Ragh because the people around me made me think that I should reconcile the lost bond between the both of us. Madali ko siyang pinakawalan dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi siya sa akin. Pero si Merculio? Nawala lang siya ngayon sa paningin ko ay nagtatahip-tahip na ang puso ko sa kaba.

I wanted to at least try.

I wanted to love him back.

Yet when I tried to look for him, he was already gone.

He loved me too early, and I was too late to reciprocate.

Merculio was gone the moment that my love for him bloomed.

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