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44)Spelling It Out

My plan to talk to Derek by the end of the day was quickly snuffed out. The conniving coward had left school after our little spat, making my job so much harder to do now.

Throughout the day I'm left on edge, stressing a plan I don't fully have while also eagerly waiting for the final bells to ring. It doesn't help my nerves any that the rest of our little makeshift band of prospects, girlfriends, and acquaintances are also buzzing with nervous energy.

Marcel and Roman receive text instructions to keep their heads down while also staying watchful of me and Josie. As for the fiery redhead, she's more pissed than I was when I first saw Derek in the hall. For his sake, he's lucky he left school early. Pretty sure she's more than ready to rip his head off herself. Plus the fact that none of the guys left her with the same instructions as the other prospects doesn't help matters.

"I'm one of them!" She shouts at lunch, pacing in front of the picnic bench we claimed outside the cafeteria. Nevermind the fact this isn't her lunch period or that she's supposed to be in class right now. "It doesn't matter that I don't have a fucking mentor yet. I should be treated the same as Marcel and Roman."

Both of the boys mentioned sit on the tabletop and quietly eat their food. Neither willing to interrupt Jo's tirade and risk being the next source of her frustration.

"I'm sure it was just an oversight. Kade being protective and all that," I try to reason.

Josie laughs humorlessly. "Oh, I have no doubt Kade is behind this."

To the right of me, Ava's hand pauses halfway to her mouth, clutching a forkful of pasta. "I'm confused. You're a prospect too?"

"Yes!" Josie shouts, making Ava jump and drop her fork. Cringing, at herself, Jo takes a deep breath. "Sorry, didn't mean to snap at you, Ava. I know you're new to this."

Ava reclaims her utensil and shrugs, no more put out at Josie's venting than the rest of us.

I can sympathize with Josie though. She's pissed because Kade is trying to protect her when she wants to be a working part of this complicated machine. It's not much different than me trying to take ownership of the drugs found in my locker to help Jace. I don't want to sit on the sidelines and wait for someone else to do something. I want to help.

And you will, as soon as you talk to Derek and Caleb.

"Did I miss something?" an unfamiliar female voice asks from behind us.

The five of us all turn at once to find the same girl I saw hanging out with Dolly at Thanksgiving, Travis's sister. Until now, I've completely forgotten that she's a prospect too, but it makes sense. Even if she's technically a part of things, Travis doesn't want her involved. That's why she wasn't with us this morning or why she's looking at us with confusion in her light green eyes.

"Rae," Jo calls softly, shock and realization filling her face at the same time. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Shouldn't you?" Rae fires back, flipping her dirty blonde hair over her shoulder and crossing her arms.

Well, she certainly has some spunk.

Though I'm sure living with someone like Travis, she'd have to be quick-witted.

Josie blows out a deep breath as she softly gazes at the other girl. "The guys were arrested before first period."

"What? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Rae's face pinch together with anger. But there's a look of fear there too, hidden just beneath the surface.

"I'm sorry, Raegan. It was a surprise to all of us. The only ones they texted were Roman and Marcel," Josie explains pointing to the still silent guys on the table.

"Fuck that." Raegan huffs. "Screw the Guardian chain of command, Travis is my brother. Someone should've told me sooner."

Jo nods. "You're right. Sorry."

"It caught us all by surprise," I offer, trying to help.

Raegan's brows pull tight together as she notices me. "And you are?"

"Lexi."

"Jace's girl," Josie adds.

Rae nods but doesn't seem all that interested in saying anything to me. Not in a nasty way just indifferent to this stranger she's never met before.

"I gotta go see if there's something I can do." Rae turns and starts walking away, shoving her hands in her black hoodie.

"Rae!" Josie calls after her. "There's nothing you can do right now!"

But the other girl doesn't seem to hear her or at least pretends she doesn't as she disappears back inside the main building.

"Well, she seems nice," Ava quips and takes another bite of her lunch.

Josie sighs and drags a hand through her hair. "I better go after her before she does something stupid. That chick is more impulsive than her brother."

She gives us a wave and rushes through the same doors as Raegan like she's running from a fire. Or in this case, towards a fire.

With the four of us left to finish out our lunch period, Roman scoots from the tabletop and onto the bench between me and Ava. His eyes roam over my best friend and I can't help but smile.

Ava told me the other day that after the Caleb fiasco, she's decided to take a break from dating. But with the way Roman's looking at her, I have a feeling she's going to have a hard time sticking to that.

He leans over and whispers something to her that I can't make out but despite the small gleam in Ava's big brown eyes, she scoffs at him.

Okay, these two need some privacy.

I push up onto the spot Roman had vacated, and situate myself beside Marcel. Without saying a thing, he holds out a french fry to me.

"Thanks," I say, taking the fry from him and popping it in my mouth.

Marcel shrugs. "You didn't get anything to eat."

"Don't have much of an appetite."

It's sad but true. How can I be hungry when I'm beyond worried about Jace. At this very moment, he's probably behind bars in some filthy police station. Even the mere thought of that makes me want to throw up the lone fry I've just consumed.

I can't help but feel responsible in some way. It's my crazy ex-hookup that's done this after all. Derek said earlier that this had nothing to do with me but I just can't believe that. It's not ego that brings me to this conclusion either, just the obvious signs. Derek never had an issue with Jace before me. One way or another, I've connected the two of them and brought this down on all of us. The fact he went after the other guys too is just an added kick to my already growing guilt.

"He's gonna be fine," Marcel says, interrupting my thoughts and offering another fry.

I wave the food away. "I know he will. Mr. Robby will make sure they're out later today. It just sucks."

"Do they have a plan?" He asks, holding out the same fry again.

"Yeah." I nod and let out a curt chuckle. "I gotta get Derek to confess on tape before they meet with the school board."

"How long do you have?"

I shake my head. "No idea, but I also gotta talk to Caleb. See if he can help somehow."

Marcel rolls his eyes and holds the fry closer to my face. "That dude's on my shit list. He's lucky it's you who's gonna talk to him and not me."

"He did try to warn us," I try to defend, attempting to push Marcel's hand away without making any progress.

Marcel narrows his eyes. "Take the damn fry or I'll force-feed it to you."

Rolling my eyes, I take the food from him and shove it in my mouth with a fake smile that says, "happy?"

Marcel gives me a sarcastic smile right back. "And as for his 'warning', that wouldn't have even been needed if he wasn't scheming with Derek's psycho ass."

I know he's right but I can't bring myself to say so. At the same time, I can't find another excuse or rational explanation for why Caleb did what he did. No matter how hurt he was, there was no reason for this.

"When are you gonna talk to him?" Marcel asks, holding out yet another french fry.

I take it without a fight this time and shrug. "Probably after school."

"Want me to go with you?"

I smile at his offer but shake my head. "No. I think we need to talk just one on one."

He nods. "Alright, I get that. But you call me if he gives you any shit."

"Thanks."

Shoving the rest of his fries towards me, Marcel nods at the food. "Now eat before I rat you out to my mentor and tell him his girl has gone on a hunger strike."

"Gee, some brother you are," I scoff playfully.

Marcel gives me a wide smile. "Never said I fought fair, little sis."

I don't know how long I've been sitting here in the driver's seat of my car staring at the steering wheel. Feels like hours but it's probably more like minutes. The sun has long set at least, casting the neighborhood street in darkness, barely lit by the street lights.

His truck isn't here so I'm not sure why I've stuck around. Maybe it's because I know he has to come home at some point or because I can't go home and do nothing. Not being able to do anything all day is slowly starting to drive me up the wall.

So, here I sit, headlights off with the radio softly playing some new emotional pop ballad. I check my phone for the millionth time and sigh when I see that I still have yet to receive a call or text from Jace. Josie called earlier to tell me it shouldn't be much longer. She was going with Mr. Robby down to the station but said for me to stay by the phone.

Oh, trust me, Jo. This phone isn't leaving my side till I talk to Jace.

Yawning, I lay back against the headrest. After a few minutes, I'm fighting the urge to look at my phone again-despite the fact it hasn't made a sound-when a set of headlights shine in my rearview mirror. Sitting upright, I watch Caleb's dark blue pickup pull into his driveway. By the time he's shutting off the engine, I'm already jumping out of my car.

With his head hung low, dark-blonde strands of hair dangle in his face as he slowly rounds the back of his truck. He doesn't see me or hear my steps while I cross the road. But once he reaches the sidewalk leading to his front door, I pick up the pace.

"Caleb," I call, stepping onto the dew-covered grass of his immaculate yard.

His head jerks up and his gaze finds me. The look in his blood-shot eyes is haunted with guilt and shame, halting me in my tracks and nearly wiping away any anger I've held onto since this morning.

Oh, Caleb. What have you done to yourself?

Wetting his lips, Caleb takes one staggering step towards me. "Lex?"

My name. One word. But it's enough for me to hear the slur in his voice.

So, that's what he's been doing all night.

"H-Have you been drinking?"

"Maybe." he shrugs, swaying slightly to the side.

I look over at the dark house in front of me before turning my attention back to him. "Are your parents home?"

He gazes at his house. "Doesn't look like it."

"Come on then. Let's get you inside."

I take another step towards him and he stumbles back. His eyes narrow at me as his face pinches, straining with disgust and anger.

"No." He shakes his head, which only makes him sway again. "I don't need your pity, Lex."

I have to resist rolling my eyes. As much as I hate seeing him like this, I really don't have the patience for a temper tantrum. If he doesn't want pity or compassion, then I'll treat him with a harsher touch.

"This isn't pity. I came here to talk to you, and I can't do that when you're in this condition. Now, come the fuck on before I drag you in there my-damn-self."

His eyes widen with mild-shock but he doesn't move to dodge me when I walk closer this time. Instead, he accepts my help when I slip an arm around him, supporting some of his weight as we walk towards the door. He fishes his keys out of his pocket but can't get them in the lock, so I do that as well and shoulder open the door to help him in.

The house is completely black, but I know my way around as if it's my own home. Kicking the door closed behind us, I lead Caleb through the living room and into his kitchen. I drop him in a chair at the kitchen table before going back to turn on the lights.

"Ah," Caleb groans, blocking the light from his eyes.

I shake my head at him and walk towards the fridge. "How the hell did you drive home like this?"

"Very...carefully."

"You shouldn't have been behind the wheel at all," I scold. "You could've wrecked and hurt yourself or someone else."

Caleb rests his head against the table. "Gee, you don't say, Mom."

I shoot him a pointed glare that goes unnoticed before opening the fridge and foraging for something to make him. "You should've called someone."

"Hard to do when I don't have anyone to call," he grumbles.

Can't really argue with that. He's burned a lot of bridges. Even if he did call Ava or Marcel, I can't say for sure if either of them would answer. As for me...I'd like to think I would. It's not like I was angry with him before today. Just lost as to how to deal with the new dynamics between us.

But now...I'm pissed at him, yes. But I'm also hurt. I never thought he would've taken things this far.

Ignoring his last statement, I pull out ingredients to make him a sandwich and a bottle of water. I work silently, glancing over every so often. He hasn't moved or said anything else, leading me to believe he's fallen asleep. When I've finally gotten everything put together, I place the water and food on the table in front of him and lightly shake his shoulder.

Caleb shoots up like a bolt of lightning and grabs my wrist. His forest green eyes lock on me but it's like he isn't sure of what he's seeing. They narrow at me as he tips his head to the side, his vision fighting to right itself.

"Lex?"

"Yeah," I whisper, a part of me deep inside silently crying for the lost look on this boy's face.

His brows knit together tightly, creaking creases along his forehead just barely hidden by a few strands of blonde hair. "You're really here?"

"Well, you didn't make yourself a sandwich this good. That's for damn sure." I try to smile and lighten the mood, but I'm not sure if it's working.

Caleb nods and lets go of my wrist. His eyes stray to the plate in front of him and he slowly slides it closer. While he digs into the food and water, I take a seat across the table from him. I may have empathy for the guilt and pain he's going through, but sitting next to him seems like a mixed signal of some kind. Like saying that I've forgiven him for what he's done.

I haven't. Not yet. Not when I don't even what role he had to play in all of this.

Besides, forgiveness is for those who earn it. Who admit they've fucked up and put effort into righting the wrongs they've committed. That's what Jace has done after all. He's explained why he did what he did years ago and apologized. But he's done more than that. He's proven to me with his actions that I can trust him. Like today, when he took ownership of those drugs just to keep me out of trouble, even though they didn't belong to either of us.

If Caleb wants my forgiveness, then he needs to fix this. He needs to fess up and then help me nail Derek's ass to the wall. Maybe then we can salvage some part of our friendship.

I'm not going to delude myself into thinking we'll go back to the way we were. I leaned on him too much, and maybe that's where the line was blurred. But then again, Caleb has had these feelings for a while. So, maybe our friendship was always built on shaky ground that was bound to fall apart once his true feelings were revealed and I couldn't reciprocate. Because Jace or no Jace, I would always see Caleb as a friend. I firmly believe that there is nothing he could've done that would've changed that.

Why does that make me feel so guilty though?

"So, you here to rip me a new one?" Caleb asks, his voice low and husky with exhaustion.

"Why would I do that?"

His blood-shot eyes look up from his now empty plate to look at me. "Because I knew what was gonna happen. Because I...I kinda helped set it up."

I knew he was a part of it. There was no other way he could've known to warn us. But knowing something and having it confirmed are two very different things. It makes it real, and in turn, makes the pain that much sharper.

Sitting back in the chair, I try not to show how upset I am as I cross my arms over my chest. "What do you mean you 'kinda' helped set it up?"

"Come on, Lex." Caleb sighs. "Don't make me spell it out."

"That's exactly what I want. That's what I need you to do, Caleb, 'cause I don't understand what happened. Better yet, I don't understand why it happened." My words come out harsher than I want but every muscle in my body is so tense right now that I'm lucky I can sit still let alone control the tone of my voice.

Caleb winces as he flops back against his chair, letting his head roll back so he can look up at the ceiling. "Where do I even start?"

"The beginning," I answer, remembering how I said those same words to Jace no that long ago.

How is it that the two guys I've known nearly my whole life are able to keep such huge secrets from me? It feels like a pattern, one that I'm really starting to despise.

Toughen up and start demanding the truth or you'll be a pushover all your life, Lexi.

Maybe so.

"The day after your birthday party, I stole a bottle of my dad's whiskey from his office and went to drown my sorrows at the beach. I was so torn up over what went down between us..." Caleb drops his head, his eyes a little less red as they connect with mine. "I never wanted to tell you like that."

Biting the inside of my cheek, I try to keep my shit together. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I don't know." He shakes his head, sending a few more strands of golden hair to fall in his face. "I waited so long, held onto my secret for years. How do you drop a bomb like that?"

I don't have an answer for him. Honestly, I don't think there really is one. People can only open up when the time is right for them. If he never felt like it was right, then maybe that means something that I can't explain for him. Only he knows.

Caleb shrugs. "Anyway, I figured putting my toes in the sand and drinking something strong would be a good escape for a little bit. But East Point Beach just isn't fucking far enough away from everything and everyone. So, of course, I run into Derek there."

Of course. It's football season, and though I haven't been to any of the games this year, the Freecaster Falcons have been killing it thanks to their star player, Derek Miller. My ex-friends-with-benefits, because at this point there just isn't a better term for what we were, loves to train on the beach. Always used to brag about how running and working out in the sand was his secret weapon to building the needed strength to dominate on the field. Or something like that. I'm not really into sports so I normally zoned out when he breached that topic.

"It's no secret I never liked the guy," Caleb adds.

I nod. We all knew it. Pretty sure even Derek knew it.

"But he sat down with me and the next thing I know we're sharing whiskey and bonding over how we felt about you. It was bizarre really. Two guys wanting the same girl and not wanting to kill each other, but...all that frustration already had a target."

Jace.

He doesn't have to say it. They didn't just bond over me, they bonded over their mutual hatred for the man I love. Love can bring people together, but hate can do it too, just in a much more twisted kind of way.

"By the end of the night, Derek was convinced we'd both lost our shot already. That you had chosen Jace already, even though I asked you to wait and consider me as an option." Caleb's eyes find mine in the dim light of his kitchen, a gleam of pain sparkling in his emerald irises. "I really thought you'd wait. Was fucking convinced that our connection was strong enough for you to at least hesitate when it came to Jace. I mean...for a little bit anyway. But Derek said I was being stupid. Said we should just get rid of Jace somehow. Even if you didn't pick either of us, at least the motherfucker who screwed everything up would pay."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," I say, finally breaking my silence.

Caleb laughs. "That's exactly what I said to Derek." His laughter fades quickly, leaving behind a grim smile. "But he said I'd learn the hard way. That I'd see for myself just how quickly you'd give yourself to Jace."

My stomach churns at those words. I know they're not Caleb's. Only Derek would say something so disgusting. But hearing them come from the mouth of someone who meant so much to me still stings.

'Give' myself to Jace?

Like I'm some kind of object to be handed over instead of a living, breathing person. My skin crawls just imagining Derek saying something like that, but I shouldn't be surprised. I'm not really. He said worse to my face just today.

Lately, as things start to fall into place, I'm starting to see just how dumb I've been. When it comes to the people I thought I knew better than myself, I really didn't know shit. I didn't see the way Caleb felt about me, or how Ava felt for him. And I was so wrapped up in trying to rid my mind of the boy who broke my heart that I turned a blind eye to the warning signs that were always there when it came to Derek. The pressuring, his temper, the way he seemed to care more about what he wanted than what I wanted. I saw the golden boy that he portrayed for everyone else and ignored how deep down, I knew something wasn't right between us.

I didn't want to be alone.

At least I never fully made a commitment to him. I shudder just thinking how much worse things could've been had I made that mistake.

"So, what changed?" Cause something must've changed for us to be here now.

Caleb hangs his head. "The next day at school...Derek wasn't the only one who saw you and Jace making out in the hall."

Shit.

"Wait..." My face pinches together with concentration as something comes to mind, something Derek said that day when he confronted me after Jace walked away. "How did Derek know to warn me about the Guardians?" I jerk my gaze up to see the look of shame on Caleb's face. "You told him...but how? How did you know?"

"I overheard Jace and that redhead talking one day, and the Guardians were mentioned. So, I asked my dad about it...he is a cop after all. Figured he might know something. I didn't give him details, just mentioned the name and he went off on a tangent about vigilante bikers from the West Side who thought they were above the law."

"And after you saw Jace and me in the hall...you, what? Decided to take Derek up on his offer?" I press.

Caleb shrugs. "Pretty much."

"Whose idea was it to slip shit into our lockers?"

Scratching the back of his neck, Caleb looks away, unable to look me in the eyes as he answers, "Mine."

Son of a bitch.

My blood boils in my veins, heating my body up like a volcano ready to explode.

Maybe I shouldn't have come here alone. I didn't think I'd need back up but maybe Caleb does. Or at least someone to keep me from knocking him the hell out.

"What the fuck, Caleb?" I snap, my voice rising.

Caleb jumps and turns those haunt eyes on me. "I'm so sorry, Lex. It was stupid. I know that now, but I was so fucking pissed." He folds his hands on the table like he's praying, pleading for me to not hate him. "I really didn't think you'd start seeing him so soon after I spilled my heart out to you."

"I wasn't with him then!"

Sitting back, Caleb's jaw drops. But his shock doesn't last long before it's twisting and turning into an even deeper look of guilt and shame. His entire face falls, etched with pain as he curses under his breath.

"I wouldn't have done that to you," I whisper, losing my own fire. "I didn't even know for sure what was happening between me and Jace then. There was still a lot I didn't know."

"But you two are together now?"

The look on my face says it all. There's no hiding it, but I answer anyway.

"Yes." I nod. "We are."

Caleb takes a deep breath before blowing it out slowing. "Figured. Was bound to happen sooner or later."

Closing my eyes, I try to refocus my thoughts. I came here for a reason, and as important as it was to find out every little detail that led up to this, there's still more I need to know.

"Why did you try to warn us?" I ask slowly.

"Because...it didn't take me long to realize that the whole idea was crazy as fuck. I tried to talk Derek out of it but he was already sold on the whole thing, he wouldn't budge. The night I knew he'd be at school setting everything up, I went with the intention of stopping him, but I guess he figured I would try something like that. He locked me out of the building using his mom's keys. My only other option was to get to you guys before things got out of hand." Caleb sets his head against the back of his chair again. "I didn't know Derek and his mom had already called the cops, though. I was too late."

Swallowing hard like I'm burying every bit of anger that's attempting to claw its way free, I pull out the chair next to Caleb and sit down. "It's not too late."

He doesn't drop his head to look at me, just narrows his eyes at the ceiling with confusion.

"We know it was Derek, I just need to get him to confess and record it before the guys have to see the school board."

"Guys?" This time Caleb does look at me, his face even more twisted with bewilderment.

"Yeah." I nod. "Jace wasn't the only one Derek set up. Kade, Travis, and Wilder were targeted too."

Leaning his elbows on his knees, Caleb buries his face in his hands. "Fucking hell."

"Got any idea why Derek went after them too?"

Caleb shrugs. "Maybe he thought they'd retaliate. Better to get them all out so he doesn't get his ass beat."

I chuckle. "Oh, I got a feeling that's gonna happen whether they're in school or not."

Derek really should watch his back outside of school. I don't know if the Guardians are the type to seek vengeance or not, but I got a decent idea how pissed those four guys are. With what they're capable of, I wouldn't be surprised if they decided to teach Derek a lesson.

"I really am sorry, Lexi," Caleb whispers, his body slouched, defeated.

"If you really mean that, then you'll help me clear their names, and testify to what you know at the school board hearing."

He takes a deep breath and nods. "Whatever you need, I'll do it."

💋____________________________________💋

Hey love, another early chapter coming to y'all and I gotta say, I'm getting so excited to be getting closer to the end of book 1! How bout you? Ready for the end and to start the second part of Jace and Lexi's story?

Okay, okay, now for the real questions...

What did you think of the meeting at the beginning? Think Josie and Raegan have a right to be mad at being left out? Think Ava will give Roman a chance? What about Lexi's talk with Caleb? Are you mad at Caleb or leaning towards feeling bad for him? Do you think he'll be able to redeem himself?

Let me know what you think in the comments and if you like what you read, please hit that star button!

Also.....I beat NaNoWriMo!!!

This is my first time trying to do NaNo, so I'm extremely stoked I was able to complete it! It's also because of this that I've been able to churn out so many chapters so quickly this week. But I have to give y'all some credit too. Your comments, votes, and reads have really kept me fueled to tackle this challenge with this story specifically. So thank you!


As usual, the teaser for chapter 45 will be posted on my Instagram and Twitter in a day or two. Keep an eye out for it!  


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