"Can you stay still, please?" The nurse asks a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Why do they need blood again?"

"The doctor just wants to make sure everything's okay."

"The surgery was on my brain not my vein."

"I understand but I'm just following orders."

She sighs grabbing a fourth pack of an alcohol wipe. She's been trying to draw my blood for a while now I just can't keep still.

I'm just tired of being poked. I was poked for months. Every appointment I had involved a needle in my arm.

So every time I see a needle unpleasant memories come to mind. She rubs the wipe across my skin and looks at me.

"Here we go, stay still alright?"

She slowly brings the needle to my skin. When it punctures my skin I put my head back closing my eyes.

Seconds later she pulls it out and puts a bandaid on it. "There you go. It wasn't that bad was it?"

"Eh."

"Here you go eat this and drink it. You might feel a bit woozy."

"Can I leave afterwards?"

"Yes, the doctor will call about your results."

The nurse leaves the room and I stare at the pack of cookies and juice that we're offered to me.

I remember months ago Dean would come to visit me to steal my cookies and juice. The memories are still fresh.

"Anyways, did you get any cookies or juice today? I can't get any free ones anymore because I've already donated."

He looks around the room trying to find food. "Is that why you came to my room? To find food?"

"Yes. Because I don't care about your wellness. I just care about food."

Without realizing my lips curve into a smile. It's a bittersweet thing. Do you know when you hurt yourself and you keep touching and it hurts but it's satisfying to keep touching it and you can't stop?

That's exactly what I'm feeling.

It hurts to remember, it hurts to think about him but I can't stop myself. I hate it. But I love it.

You're such a masochist, Aj.

My phone starts ringing and I pick it up. "Hello?"

"Aj? Are you almost home? I told you it was better if I went with you." My mom says worriedly.

"I'm fine mom. I'm actually on my way out. I'll be home in a few."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm super sure."

"Okay drive safe!"

After hanging up I get up from the chair and walk to the door. I don't bother eating or drinking because I'm not in the mood to keep remembering.

I'm walking down the hallway to the elevator trying to put my coat back on. As I reach the elevator everything around me starts spinning and I almost fall.

Someone grabs me before I do. "Are you okay?"

"I'm-"

Looking up I see Dean. He keeps his arms around my waist holding me up. "I'm okay."

"Aj what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Ma'am! You forgot your keys." The nurse says walking over and handing them to me. "The doctor said he should have the results in two days."

"Okay thank you."

"Results?" Dean asks when she walks away.

"Are you okay, Aj?"

"I'm okay." I say pulling away from his grip and turning around pressing the elevator button.

"But the nurse just..." his voice trails off. I walk in the elevator and he looks at me a perplex look in his eyes. "Don't tell me... are you ..."

The door is about to close but he steps in before it does. "What are you doing?" I ask. The elevator starts moving but then he stops it.

"What the hell Dean?"

"Aj, don't tell me - don't tell me you're ... pregnant?"

My blood boils at the word. Is he seriously asking me this? After I caught Layla buying a pregnancy test?

"Get out!" I scream pushing him.

"Aj, wait no I'm sorry. I was just-"

"Leave me alone! I'm going to scream if you don't push the button."

"Wait stop!"

I bang my hands against his chest and he grabs me stopping me. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you! I just thought of that because you were dizzy and the nurse said she would have the results in two days..."

"Just leave me alone." I say angrily feeling my eyes tear up. "I'm sorry I really didn't mean to upset you."

I pull away from his grip leaning back against the cold metal.

"Aj. I'm sorry."

"Remember what I told you? Stop apologizing if you don't know what you're saying sorry for."

"I didn't think asking you that would upset you so much."

"I'm not upset over that."

"Then what?"

I wipe a tear that falls from my eyes. "Why don't you ask Layla instead."

I try to get by him to press the button but he stops me. "Wait, what? Did Layla do something to you?"

"Aj."

"You really don't know do you?"

His silence tells me he's not lying. I know I should keep quiet but my feelings have been bottling up making me explode.

"Shes pregnant. That's why you asking me that triggered me."

Dean's mouth falls slightly open. He looks shocked. It's obvious Layla hadn't told him about it.

Then he laughs.

Why is he laughing?

"This is a joke, right?"

"Do you think I would joke about this?"

He keeps laughing and it infuriates me to the point that I start banging his chest again. He grabs me pushing me against the wall.

His body pressed against mine makes me gasp. "This has to be a joke."

"Well it's not." My voice doesn't sound as loud as it was.

"It's impossible for Layla to be pregnant," he says quietly against my ear. "Because it's been a long time since I've ... touched her."

He squeezes my hip and my breathing fastens. Then steps back, "Why did you think she was pregnant?"

"I ... saw her buying a pregnancy test at the store."

"That pregnancy test wasn't for her. She told me about it and I can assure you it wasn't hers."

My blood rushes to my face in embarrassment. I've made myself a fool once again.

"Okay well I need to go."

I try to walk but bump into him dropping my keys. He kneels down to pick them up. I keep looking down at him as he looks up.

When he does his face rubs against my leg making my heart skip a beat. He then slowly comes up and hands them to me.

I open up my hand then he gently places them on my palm, wrapping his hand around mine. He looks into my eyes making me melt at the sight of it.

"You feel it too?" He whispers.

My heart is beating so loudly on my ears and I want to speak but I'm so speechless. "Your silence tells me everything."

He leans his face close to my face. Our lips are touching. "Kiss me." He breathes against them. "Please, kiss me."