Prologue ━━━━
NO PLACE LIKE HOME

IT IS IN THE AFTERMATH, when the shooting has come to an end and the dust has finally settled, that Eden Nazari will do her best to remember when it was that the end began. Even with the gift of hindsight and the clarity that it often brings, memories of the past evade her — as if she is searching for a single specific grain of sand on the shore of an endless beach; the tiniest blade of grass rooted in a field that stretches on for miles on end; a solitary snowflake caught adrift by the crosswinds of a raging winter storm. Impossible, infuriating, and — in the end — an entirely futile effort. Knowing the when of it all would not change the how that it happened (because, unlike the future, the past by its nature is not something that can be changed) yet the thought of not knowing is somehow worse.

And besides: there is little else for Eden to do but torture herself with old memories, considering the fact that she is now dead.

Or at least: mostly dead.

(In other words: partly alive.)

And perhaps that is where it all began: Eden at fourteen years-old, perched on the edge of a table made of stone, swinging her restless feet back and forth while chattering away as her master frets over the well-worn pages of a leather-bound book. His tattooed brow, decorated by a cluster of rhombuses and triangles, is furrowed with concentration; lips muttering wordless calculations and quiet declarations of no, that one's not right or but that one just might be it ... followed by copious amounts of scribbling in the margins of his journal before starting the process all over again.

"And that's why I think Spero's work is so inspiring," Eden is saying, wrapping up a rather long-winded tangent detailing her admiration for the anti-war artist and activist Mel Spero's work — despite the fact that much of the public sentiment on Coruscant was against Spero, labeling them as a traitor to the Republic and their art as nothing more than Separatist propaganda.

"Genius," Saul Jericho declares — and for a moment, Eden beams with pride, feeling rather pleased to have impressed her master ... until she realizes that, in actuality, Master Jericho had not been speaking to her at all; still utterly consumed by the work before him. Eden doubts that he'd heard a single word she'd said.

Her mouth curves downwards into a frown. "Master Jericho, were you even listening to me?"

Her master blinks, turning his bespectacled gaze upon her. His expression is almost sheepish. "My apologies, Padawan," he says, a rueful smile tugging at the lines of his weathered face. "But the council urgently needed me to complete this project and I think I've finally finished."

Despite her previous disappointment, Eden perks up instantly. "What kind of project for the council?"

Her master purses his lips into a thin line. "It's rather secret."

"I won't tell!" She insists. "You know I can keep secrets."

He assumes a contemplative posture, stroking the graying beard growing along the shadow of his olive-green jaw. "I don't know ..." her master sighs. "It's not a secret intended for the ears of young Padawans."

"Please?" Eden presses, hopping down from her seat on the table to cross the healing chamber and stand next to him. She attempts to sneak a peek at his scribbled writings over his shoulder before he slams the book shut, shooting her a reproachful look. "I've been your apprentice for nearly three years. Haven't I proven myself worthy of knowing these kinds of things?"

Her master studies her for a few quiet moments, fingers folded together across the top of his notebook before relenting. "You drive a hard bargain, Padawan," he says, chucking her under the chin before opening the book to the marked page. "And in return, I offer you a compromise: you may know what it is; you may not know what it is for."

Eden grins triumphantly. "Deal," she says, stepping closer to take a better look at his scrawling handwriting and the calculations he'd left scattered across the page. Brow furrowed, she does her best to decipher the meaning of it all. "Vital suppressor ..." she reads aloud. "Will lower the subject's temperature, blood pressure, pulse, and breathing rate in order to give the appearance of ... death?"

Eden jerks back sharply, eyes widening with surprise. "Master Jericho, why would the council ask you to make something like this?"

Her master is a healer — one of the very best that the Jedi Order has to offer. His life's work is dedicated to the practice of bringing beings back from the brink of death; not hurtling them toward it. Creating a serum meant to imitate the lifeless state of those who have passed on to the other side seems nearly blasphemous in her eyes.

He closes the book once more. "I believe our agreement was you knowing the what; not the why, apprentice."

"But Master —" she begins to protest.

"Eden," Master Jericho says lowly, a soft note of warning in his voice. "Some secrets are not mine to share. This decision comes from above me. I am simply doing what was asked of me by my superiors."

Her mouth opens and closes before she ultimately relents. "Yes, Master," Eden replies, biting the inside of her cheek. "But I just don't understand what good could come from such a thing. Why would a person ever need something like that?"

Her master's expression is grave as he removes his glasses from the bridge of his nose and scrubs a tired hand over his face. "I hope you never have to, little one," he murmurs. "I hope you never have to."

Two years later: Eden understands. By then, Saul Jericho is long dead and much of Eden's girlhood naivety with him, but it isn't until the aftermath of the slaughter that she reaches full understanding.

When the red-blades come for her and Master Luminara and the older Mirialan woman presses a thin vial of the not-quite deadly serum into Eden's shaking hands: she understands. When Eden brings it to her lips and tips it back, slowing her hammering pulse and stilling the steady rise and fall of her chest: she understands. When she hears Luminara's clear, sharp voice ringing with defiance in the face of the enemy, saying I killed her myself before letting you touch her — you won't have another apprentice of mine: she understands. And when her body is dumped in a shallow grave, left behind to rot on some backwater planet as they lead Luminara away in cuffs: she understands.

In the present, Eden understands what she couldn't at fourteen. That sometimes, a person has to die in order for them to live. And, like her master had once hoped, she too wishes she'd never had to.

Even so, as she teeters on the precipice between the living and the dead, Eden possesses enough clarity of mind to recognize that that moment with her master in his study had not been the beginning of the end. No, if such a contradiction existed, then it had to have come earlier. Then again: perhaps there was no such thing as the beginning of the end — just beginnings and endings.

And perhaps the beginning is where she should start.

IT BEGINS WITH LIGHT, AS MANY THINGS DO. The warmth of golden sunshine spilling through the windows of the temple crèche that Eden and the rest of the younglings call home. Echoes of children's laughter filling bustling hallways as temple-dwellers go about their daily routines. A gentle thrum of energy from the Force flowing through their veins, surrounding them, lifting them, guiding them every step of the way.

All of Eden's earliest memories belong to the crèche — to her home. Though Coruscant is not her birthplace, she'd just barely reached the age of three when Jedi Master Cyslin Myr came to Mirial and presented her parents with the opportunity to have their daughter trained in the ways of the Force. The Mirialans are a spiritual people by nature, fiercely devoted to their kind, which is why it'd taken a visit from one of their own to persuade Eden's parents to part with her. But ultimately they did so willingly, trusting the promises of Master Myr that Eden would be well-looked after amongst the Jedi and that the goddess would watch over her after she left the protection of their world.

During her early years at the temple, Eden spends hours staring at her reflection in the mirror, searching for traces of something that might trigger a memory of the family she'd never had the chance to know. But as more time passes, that sense of longing begins to fade. The temple becomes her home and her youngling clan and crèche masters become her family.

Together, she and her crèche-mates from Bergruufta Clan undergo their initiate training, spending years developing and honing their skills in the hopes of being selected as Padawan learners when they reach the proper age to take the initiate trials. Eden remembers those years with a warm sort of fondness, thinking of quiet conversations in the moonlight of shared dormitory rooms and rambunctious debates at dinnertime that often ended with food fights and scoldings from their masters.

"Emotion, yet peace," they are taught during guided meditations. "Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force."

At the age of twelve, Eden and her fellow crèche-mates of a similar age travel with Grandmaster Yoda to Ilum — the sacred snow-covered world of the Unknown Regions — for the Gathering; a ritual that Jedi younglings undergo in order to find the kyber crystals that will serve as the heart of the lightsabers that they build.

In the caves of Ilum, each youngling faces a test of their character before finding their crystal. Eden — who so often draws on the strength and courage of those around her to be brave — has to walk the path to finding her crystal alone, learning to rely on the Force and faith for guidance instead of seeking reassurance from others.

(It is the most valuable lesson she will learn during her initiate training, though she won't realize that for years to come.)

The saber she builds is light and lithe with a Consul hilt and can easily be held in the grasp of a single palm. When ignited, the blade emits a beacon of teal blue-green light — a color that attracts the attention of the Grand Master himself.

"Hmm," Master Yoda says thoughtfully. "Teal, your saber is. Perhaps a healer, you will be."

━━━━━━

And a healer she becomes — or, at the very least, a healer-in-training. Eden passes her initiate trials with flying colors, graduating from Jedi youngling to Padawan learner and leaving the crèche and her clan behind for the solitary Padawan dormitories. As is tradition amongst Mirialans in the Order, Eden is assigned to the tutelage of a Mirialan master — a man named Saul Jericho; head of the Circle of Jedi Healers.

Eden learns rather quickly that Master Jericho is seen as something of an oddity amongst the other members of the Order. He does not wear the typical Jedi robes of beige and brown and instead elects to wear the dark garb of the Mirialan people. Though well respected as a healer and revered as a Jedi Master, his pacifistic ideals are not shared by many of his colleagues. Even some of his medical practices, more rooted in holistic remedies rather than treatments concocted by droids, are seen as unusual. It makes no difference to Eden, though, who thinks the world of him almost at once.

It is Master Jericho who teaches her not only about things of the Force and the traditions of the Order, but also of her birthplace — of Mirial. Thousands of years of Mirialan history and culture spill from his lips during quiet walks through the herb garden that they take every morning after their sunrise meditation. Though Mirial feels more like a faraway fantasy than a place that Eden might have called home, she begins to keep the traditions of her home world alongside those of the Order; trading her Padawan robes in exchange for the more traditional dark robes and head coverings worn by Mirialan Jedi.

When the time comes for her to receive her face tattoos — a rite of passage and mark of achievement for Mirialan youths, most often done by a close family member — Master Jericho is the one who does them for her with his steady healer's hands, marking Eden's cheekbones with twin diamond patterns on each side of her face.

"How do you feel?" Her master asks, sounding uncharacteristically nervous as he watches Eden survey his handiwork in a hand-held mirror.

For a moment, she says nothing; just drinks in the appearance of the dark ink staining her cheeks, contrasting against the olive green of her skin. Her master fidgets, twiddling his thumbs together with a hint of nervousness at her reticence.

"Eden," he says quickly. There's an almost panicked edge to his normally calm voice that wasn't there before. "If you hate them, I'm sure we can find someone who —"

Eden sets the mirror down. "I love them," she interrupts, a genuine smile breaking across her face. "I feel ... whole. Like something was missing before, but it's not anymore."

She pauses and looks down at her folded hands before speaking again, this time in the tongue of their home world, "Khilral, Akla." Thank you, Master.

Master Jericho huffs out a breathless laugh before returning her smile, eyes crinkling at the corners with mirth. "P'u khoe q'aleoli, Kochliln." You're welcome, Apprentice.

━━━━━━

While training to become a healer, Eden makes her first real friend outside of the crèche-mates from her youngling clan. Padawan learner Barriss Offee is a few years older, a few years wiser than Eden herself, but the two of them are fast friends, finding common ground to build a relationship upon in their shared Mirialan heritage. Barriss's master — another Mirialan by the name of Luminara Unduli — is an imposing figure who holds herself tall with a dignified sort of grace that inspires deference. But with time, Eden learns that beneath her cool exterior, Luminara's smiles are always kind and her voice is full of warmth when she offers praise. Eden thinks of her with a level of admiration that almost matches the reverence she holds for Master Jericho.

Almost.

On the rare occasion that Eden finds herself in the company of both her master and the other pair from Mirial, she feels closer to her home world than ever before; as if the four of them could be a clan of their own making. As the years go by, she will grow close with other healers and members of the Order as well, but Luminara and Barriss are something special set apart from the rest.

"Para," Barriss often calls her affectionately — sister in Mirialan — and they are sisters in everything but blood.

The Jedi Order raises all of its students to be wary of strong attachments, but Eden finds that she's at her best when Barriss is at her side, and can't bring herself to care too much about the fact that she cares too much — because how could anything bad ever come from something so good?

(Years later, Eden will be left wondering if that's where things started to go wrong. That maybe if she'd heeded those warnings with more caution, things would have been different. That maybe if she hadn't been so close, she could have saved her sister from herself. That maybe the war wouldn't have torn them all apart —)

But for now: there is no war, Eden has Barriss, and it is the happiest time of her life.

SOMETHING SHIFTS IN THE TEMPLE ATMOSPHERE during the months leading up to the Clone War. At first, it is so subtle that Eden hardly notices it — like the slow change in the weather when warm summer nights bleed into cool autumn evenings at the turn of the seasons. But then Geonosis happens and there is no denying that things are different, whether Eden wants them to be or not. The temple corridors, once so full of light and laughter, are filled with a newfound silence that seems so very loud. Many of the familiar faces that filled classrooms and mess halls are no longer with them; either deployed off-world for battle or killed in the line of duty. And the number of empty chairs found at empty tables continues to grow with each passing day that the war drags on.

While many of her friends and former crèche-mates seek out thrills and excitement on the fields of battle, Eden (who balks at the idea of killing even the nastiest of spiders) finds comfort in the knowledge that her master is a Consular Jedi, one sworn to science and medicine rather than violence and strategy, and that it is therefore unlikely that she will ever find herself in the thick of the fighting. It makes it easier for Eden to think of the war as some faraway thing from her place inside the safety of the temple walls, tending to the medicinal herbs and shrubs in her garden and keeping her head down.

But Barriss ...  Barriss is not so lucky.

Master Luminara Unduli is one of the very best strategic minds that the Order possesses. She quickly rises to the rank of General and is placed in command of the 41st Elite Corps, leading her clone troopers into battle. Even with the assistance of the Kaminoan Clone Army, the war has spread the Jedi thin across the galaxy. Order members constantly flit from planet to planet, skirmish to skirmish, battle to battle and are given little time to rest between each mission.

Master Luminara is no exception to that rule.

And wherever Luminara goes, Barriss follows.

Every time that Barriss returns to the temple after a deployment, Eden notices a change in her. When they drink tea in the garden together, there are times that Barriss's hands shake so badly that Eden has to pour her cup for her. If there are ever sudden loud noises, she'll jump; hands reaching for the saber strapped to her belt. When Eden asks if she's alright, all Barriss will say is that she's tired with a tight-lipped smile and then nothing else.

As the war drags on, Luminara seems to notice her pupil's distress. After a particularly grueling mission on Umbara, she begins to take more of her assignments alone, giving Barriss the time to rest and recover that she needs. Eden thinks that this will be good for Barriss — that her sister will finally be able to do some healing for herself, for a change — but Barriss doesn't see it that way.

"I don't know what I did wrong," she mutters under her breath, pacing the single length of one of the rows of sprouting herbs in the garden while Eden tends to her plants. "She told me it was nothing I did, but why else would she leave me behind?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Eden insists. "Master Luminara is worried about you — that's all. She knows how tired you've been lately. I'm sure that she'll ask you to join her again soon —"

"I don't want to go back," Barriss snaps, her voice so full of venom that it makes Eden stop in her tracks. "This war is ... it's wrong. The Jedi are meant to be peacekeepers — not soldiers. We shouldn't be running around reaping chaos and destruction in the name of the Republic. It's evil —" she cuts herself off abruptly, eyes widening with shock; as if she herself couldn't believe the words that had escaped her lips.

"Oh," she breathes. "I shouldn't have said that. I — I didn't mean it."

"Barriss ..." Eden begins, setting down the watering can she'd been holding. "It's alr —"

Her friend grabs her arm in a vice-like grip. "You can't tell anyone what I just said," Barriss hisses, eyes wild and desperate. "Not your master, not mine — no one. Do you hear me? No one."

"I won't," Eden replies, alarmed and acutely in pain from the bruising grasp that Barriss has on her wrist. "Barriss, I would never. You can trust me. But please let go of my arm — you're hurting me."

In an instant, Barriss lets her go; dropping her hand as if she'd been burned. "I ..." she breathes, swallowing thickly before standing straighter and taller; rearranging her expression into a blank mask of composure. "I'm sorry, Eden. I don't know what came over me. Clearly, I'm more tired than I realized. I think I'll go lie down for a bit."

Eden bites the inside of her cheek, resisting the urge to rub her throbbing wrist. "Are you sure you're alright, Barriss?"

"I'm fine," she says sharply, turning on her heel to leave Eden and her garden behind. "I'll be fine. I just need to rest ..."

━━━━━━

Things are different after that.

Eden sees less and less of Barriss despite them both being at the temple. When they do run into each other, Barriss is polite and courteous, but there's a distance between them that wasn't there before. It stings at first, but not as badly as it does when Eden realizes that Barriss doesn't call her sister anymore.

(With hindsight, Eden will regret not paying more attention back then; not seeing what the Force had been screaming at her all along: that Barriss was hurting and needed help. That she was the kind of tired that couldn't be fixed with just a good night's sleep.)

But Eden doesn't pay more attention. She just keeps her head down and tends to her garden; too consumed by her own little world to notice the storm clouds gathering above her head.

WAR FINDS ITS WAY TO EDEN'S GARDEN on the day that the Jedi Temple is bombed. She feels the explosion before she hears it — not from the ground quaking or the walls shaking, but in phantom prickles of pain that tear through her like scraps of shrapnel and shards of glass; like flames licking at tender skin; like teeth rattling from a blow to the face. All of this, Eden feels in the moments before the bomb goes off, leaving her dizzy and disoriented and consumed with dread.

By the time she realizes what it means, it's too late.

The temple hangar looks like a warzone when she reaches it; bodies strewn across the floor, black smoke billowing through the air. But Eden's feet don't falter and she charges headfirst into disaster. She won't slow down, can't slow down, because she knows he needs her; can feel him calling to her through the Force even in the midst of all the chaos.

Eden.

The voice in her head stops her short and Eden finds him. Her master is sprawled across the floor a few feet away, lying supine on his back with his limbs twisted at odd angles. In an instant, she is on her hands and knees at his side. Master Jericho looks sickly and pale, glasses askew and face coated with a thin sheen of sweat. Beneath him, a puddle of blue blood seeps from wounds that she cannot see, staining the dark navy of his robes an even darker shade of blue.

Eden, who has barely learned enough in her training to heal a single broken bone, takes a deep breath and begins to speak in the calmest voice she can muster. "Don't move, Master," she says, almost surprised by how much steadier she sounds than she feels. "You're very hurt."

Master Jericho tries to answer her but fails. Blood stains his lips and the only sound that leaves his throat is a gurgling noise so terrible that Eden shushes him quickly. She doesn't need him to speak now. He can tell her later, once she's healed him and he's made a full recovery.

Eden.

"It's alright," she continues, resting her hands gently on his chest. Warm wetness seeps from the wounds beneath her fingertips and Eden resists the urge to flinch. When she pulls her palms away, they're coated in blood and her fingers are trembling, so she balls them into fists. "I — I'm going to fix this. You'll be just fine."

Eden.

She ignores her master's insistent voice inside her head; dismisses his mental presence brushing up against her own consciousness, attempting to soothe her distress. Eden doesn't want him to soothe her. Not now — not while he's bleeding out on the temple floor, for Force's sake! If anything, she should be the one soothing him. No, the one fixing him. She's a healer; this is what she's been training to do for years ... but there's so much blood. Why is there so much blood?

"Ee-den."

This time, the voice isn't in her head.

Slowly, Eden forces herself to raise her head and meet her master's gaze. His eyes — still as kind and as calm as ever — are too blue and too bright, glistening with unshed tears. Eden can see the acceptance in his stare; can see how he has already sped through all the stages of grief and embraced his fate.

She knows then that she can't save him.

And she breaks.

"Master," Eden says, the word little more than a strangled whimper that tears from her throat. "I — I can't fix this. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's ... alright," he assures her. Every word is a struggle for him to force past his lips. "This ... was meant to happen."

Eden bows her head in shame as hot tears stream down her cheeks. "I'm not strong enough," she cries. "If I was, I could save you."

"No," he insists, seeming to find new strength in his dying breaths. "This ... is the will of the Force, child. No fault of yours. I lived because it willed it so; I will die the same."

Eden wants to believe that — no, she needs to believe that — but if this is the will of the Force, then why does it hurt so badly?

"Eden," Master Jericho gasps. His eyes are unfocused and the rise and fall of his chest is short and shallow now, but he raises a trembling, blood-stained palm to cup her face. "Your kind heart is your greatest strength. Don't ever lose it."

"I won't," she swears and she's crying in earnest now. His thumb brushes a few stray tears away as he traces the tattoos he'd placed upon her cheek. "I promise."

A faint smile turns the corners of his lips upwards. "Ayawan Harkaa, espara," he whispers in their mother tongue. May the Force be with you, daughter.

The sobs come freely then, spilling from her lips and wracking her shoulders so hard that it hurts. "Ayawan Harkaa, pama," she repeats through trembling lips. May the Force be with you, father.

Eden watches as the light leaves his eyes — a candle extinguished in one quick breath; the warmth replaced by fleeting smoke — and then it's nothing. Just a void. An emptiness inside of her that is so vast and so deep that it might as well be a gaping wound torn through her chest because it hurts just as much. Her master — the closest thing to a father she's ever known — is dead and it kills part of her, too.

The gathering storm she'd been ignoring for so long has finally arrived.

And when it rains, it pours.

━━━━━━

Eden hardly remembers the funeral.

Six Jedi were caught in the crossfire of the temple bombing, so six caskets are put on display for the Order to mourn, and six pillars of golden light rise from the ground as they are cremated and entombed beneath the stone of the temple floor. Grandmaster Yoda gives a speech — something about luminous beings and becoming one with the Force — but all it sounds like is ringing to her ears.

Afterwards, there are many who come to Eden with their condolences. Master Yoda seeks her out to offer her an open ear, should she need someone to talk to. Her old Kel Dor crèche master Plo Koon gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze and mutters quiet words of encouragement. And even General Skywalker's Padawan learner, Ahsoka Tano, finds Eden in the crowd and reassures her that she and her master are hard at work on the bomber's case and that the fallen Jedi would soon have justice.

It's all very nice, but it also makes her want to scream so Eden returns to her quarters shortly after and does just that: screams and cries into a pillow until her throat is raw and her eyes are sore and everything else is numb. It is certainly not becoming of a Jedi. Meditation would likely be suggested as a more proper output for her grief, but Eden doesn't care much for propriety right now. There's an ache in her heart and an emptiness in her head that won't go away and all she wants is for it to stop.

She isn't sure how much time passes, but when someone knocks on her door, Eden drags herself from her bed to answer. She finds Barriss standing outside in the corridor. Her arms are wrapped around herself and she won't meet Eden's gaze. It's the first time they've been face to face in ages.

"I ... didn't want you to be alone," Barriss says in a strange voice before bursting into tears.

Eden lets her in without a word and the two of them hug each other so tightly that it hurts. "I'm sorry," Barriss says over and over again, unable to stop repeating the words. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Her sobs are as awful as Eden's had been earlier that day — maybe worse — and Eden does her best to soothe Barriss in whatever way she can. In truth, the show of grief takes her aback. For all her quick wit and dry humor, Barriss has never been one to show strong emotions. Her collected composure was rivaled only by Luminara herself, yet the girl crying in Eden's arms is the polar opposite of collected and composed.

"It's okay," Eden tries to comfort her, rubbing circles into Barriss's back. "We'll be okay, sister —" but that only makes her cry harder, so Eden just holds her and says nothing else until Barriss cries herself to sleep.

━━━━━━

It is days later, while Eden watches numbly as Anakin Skywalker and a squadron of temple guards lead Barriss Offee out of the temple in cuffs to stand trial for treason, that hindsight grants her a moment of clarity. She realizes then that Barriss's tears hadn't been from grief; they'd been from guilt — from knowing that she had been the one to bomb the temple; from knowing that she had the blood of innocents on her hands; from knowing that she had been the one to break Eden's heart.

Except no, that isn't entirely fair. Because in spite of the awful things she'd done, Eden knows it brought Barriss no joy to do them. In her eyes, they had been a necessary evil. The cost to be paid for the greater good. So, perhaps it had been both grief and guilt that caused her tears. Eden grants her that much humanity.

It doesn't make her betrayal sting any less.

━━━━━━

The next time that someone knocks on her door, Eden decides not to answer. It opens anyways and she sits upright on her bed when Master Luminara Unduli — who'd been away from the temple for weeks on a siege — enters her room and quietly takes a seat in the chair at Eden's desk, looking more fragile than Eden has seen her look before. Neither of them speak for several long minutes. There's nothing for them to say.

Eventually, Luminara clears her throat and breaks the silence. "Hello, Eden," she says, voice hollow and devoid of its usual warmth. "Would you like to meditate with me?"

They go to Eden's garden — the one she used to visit with Master Jericho every day at sunrise — and the two of them sit together in their shared grief, inhaling and exhaling in quiet unity until dawn has passed and the sun has risen overhead. Eden pretends not to notice how Luminara's cheeks are wet when they've finished; Luminara does the same for her.

As they return to the temple, Luminara stops Eden from entering inside with a gentle hand on her arm. "I know I am a poor replacement for Saul," she begins quietly, "but seeing as you are a Padawan without a master and I am a master without a Padawan —" her voice hitches on a ragged breath before she regains her composure "— the Council has granted me permission to take you on as my student, if that is something you should desire."

Eden's throat aches and her eyes prickle with unshed tears. "Thank you, Master," she says, choking on the words. "It would be my honor."

THOUGH EDEN'S LITTLE WORLD has been shattered beyond repair, life itself goes on. Each day the sun continues to rise and set and the world still spins. In Master Jericho's wake, Eden is placed under the tutelage of the temple doctor, Jedi Consular Rig Nema. Even though she is officially Luminara's Padawan, Doctor Nema is her primary teacher. Master Luminara's return to Coruscant had been a brief one and she had returned to the front to resume command of her division shortly after. Secretly, Eden is grateful for the distance and she thinks it likely that Luminara is grateful, too — not because of any resentment between them, but because the both of them are constant reminders to each other of the losses they've suffered. Though there was comfort to be found in their new bond, it was often overshadowed by grief. Distance made it easier to keep those feelings at bay.

Nowadays, the temple is a lonely place. It no longer resembles the golden sanctuary Eden remembers from her childhood. She has no master, no sister — and no desire to make new friends. When she's not in training, Eden spends her time alone in her room or buried in books at the library; so much so that the librarian, Master Nu, takes pity on her and allows her to stay and read long past curfew.

She never visits her garden anymore.

Training is a welcome distraction. Eden throws herself into her studies with such focus that she quickly earns herself a promotion, allowing her to have a more active role as a healer in the temple. She works directly alongside medical droids tending to patients who walk through the doors of the Halls of Healing — though in truth they are few and far between. Even so, there is one patient of interest who generates quite a bit of buzz amongst droids and organics alike.

Jedi Master and Republic General Depa Billaba is placed into their care after a terrible defeat at the hands of Separatist General Grievous. Her injuries are so severe that Billaba slips into a coma and is put into a bacta tank to heal. Every day for six months, Eden checks for improvement in the general's condition, but there is never any change and Billaba continues to drift in the depths of dreamless sleep.

Things get a little livelier when initiate season rolls around. Eden knows that the initiate trials are approaching soon because the healer's wing is busier than ever with an influx of new patients, all around the ages of those soon-to-be Padawans eligible to take the tests and advance in their training.

It is a day like any other and Eden is in the middle of restocking the stores of medical supplies at the back of the infirmary when she hears the sound of Dico, one of the medical droids, conversing with a new patient. "Yes, what is it?"

"Master Yoda sent me," a boyish voice replies. "I hit my head."

Curious, Eden pokes her head out of the storeroom to see who their new addition is. She spots a boy a with short, dark hair and a Padawan braid dangling beneath his right ear. His face is tilted downwards, presenting his injury to the droid for examination. "Obviously," Dico drawls. "You broke the skin, but it has already clotted. It will heal on its own."

The boy huffs, raising his head indignantly. "That's what I tried to tell Master —"

"Enough whining," Dico cuts him off. "Grow up and get out."

Eden decides to make her presence known then and steps out of the storeroom. "Don't listen to them," she calls. "I'll get you a cold pack for your head."

Scowling, the boy crosses his arms over his chest and whirls on her. "I don't need a —" he begins, stopping short when he meets her gaze. His eyes widen and his face flushes before he ducks his head and gingerly ruffles his hair, avoiding the injured spot. "I mean ... uh ... thanks. Thank you ... ?"

"Eden," she tells him, picking up a datapad off the counter and scanning over the information that Dico had preemptively pulled up on the boy.

"Eden," he repeats before offering her a winning smile. "I'm —"

"— Caleb Dume," she finishes for him. "I know who you are."

His brow furrows. "You've heard of me?"

Eden hums. "I know all about you."

And she does.

Having so few friends these days, the library had become something of a second home to Eden and, consequently, the librarian had become one of her closest friends. Eden had learned quickly that, when she wanted to, Master Nu could be quite a gossip. She could recall several occasions on which Master Nu had complained about her most ... inquisitive student, who seemed to ask more questions than the rest of her pupils combined — a boy by the name of Caleb Dume. 

A goofy grin crosses Caleb's face. "How?" He asks, green-blue eyes dancing with mischief.

Eden decides not to break Master Nu's confidence and instead holds up the datapad displaying Caleb's patient information.

His shoulders deflate instantly. "Oh."

"Here," Eden says, taking pity on him and retrieving one of the instant cold packs from their stores. She cracks the pack in two and shakes it to activate the substance inside before handing it to him. "Put this on your bump. It should heal up just fine on its own, but if you experience any nausea or dizziness or anything else unusual, come back here straightaway, alright?"

"Alright," Caleb agrees, taking the pack and pressing it onto his head before smiling at her again. "Thanks."

She offers him a nod of her head in return. "You're welcome."

Having decided that they'd wasted enough time, Dico makes their presence known once more. "Now get out!"

The grin slips off Caleb's face and is replaced by a pout. "I'm going!" He scowls and begins to walk towards the door, but only makes it a few steps before freezing in place when he spots the bacta tank at the back of the room — the one where Master Billaba is still drifting in unconsciousness.

Caleb's eyes grow wide. "I ... Is that —"

"None of your business?" Dico interrupts sharply, shooing him away. "Indeed. Now, go! And don't come back unless you're bleeding internally."

"Fine!" Caleb huffs and drags his feet all the way to the door, pausing at the threshold to turn and offer Eden a parting wave. "Bye, Eden!" He says cheerfully, giving her a mini salute before spinning out into the hallway and nearly running into a group of older Padawans walking by.

Eden rolls her eyes and shakes her head, fighting the urge to do something that she hasn't done in months before giving up.

She smiles.

The moment only lasts for a few fleeting seconds before Dico nudges her from behind. Eden whirls around and glares at the droid, ready to shush them before they can start scolding her for being off-task — until she realizes that the droid isn't scolding her at all and instead is pointing towards the bacta tank where Master Billaba is sleeping.

Or rather, had been sleeping, seeing that her eyes are open wide and she is knocking against the glass.

━━━━━━

The Force works in mysterious ways.

Eden Nazari knows this and yet she still finds herself amazed by it at times. There is no rhyme or reason to the universe, save for what the Force wills it to be. And in this instance, the will of the Force is that moments after Caleb Dume leaves the infirmary, Master Depa Billaba awakens from her six-month long coma and makes a full recovery. The very next day, Caleb Dume passes his initiate trials and achieves the rank of Padawan learner. And the day after that, Master Billaba chooses a Padawan for herself. She chooses Caleb Dume.

The Force works in mysterious ways.

It leads, guides, and directs those walking within its light to the place where they need to be in the moment that they need to be there. Eden Nazari knows this; Master Jericho told her so at least a hundred different times. What Eden doesn't know is why the Force would choose to bring people together at the right time in the right moment — only to later tear them apart.

She thinks of herself and Master Jericho; of Barriss and Master Unduli; even of Ahsoka Tano and General Anakin Skywalker, who were separated after Ahsoka was wrongly accused and expelled from the Order for the crime Barriss had committed and subsequently chose not to come back even after her innocence had been proved. Why had the Force willed it so that they would be together if the end result was only going to amount to pain and heartbreak?

As Eden watches Caleb Dume and Master Billaba leave the walls of the temple for their first mission together, she hopes that the Force will be kinder to the two of them. That perhaps they'll achieve some semblance of happiness that Eden and her master and all the others like them were never able to achieve.

(In hindsight, she will realize that it was a stupid thing for her to hope.)

She will never see Master Billaba or the boy Caleb Dume again.

IT ENDS WITH DARKNESS, AS MANY THINGS DO. The war was meant to be nearly over. With Count Dooku's death at the hands of General Skywalker and General Grievous's demise following shortly after at the hands of General Kenobi, they had all believed that the end of the fighting was drawing near. That there would be peace across the galaxy. That people would finally be able to begin to heal from all the violence and destruction that the Clone War had left in its wake. That there would be time for flowers to bloom and butterflies to grow their wings.

How foolish they all had been.

Luminara returns to the temple shortly after Dooku's death and comes to Eden with a mission. "I know you've never seen combat before," she begins, "and if you do not wish to, I will not force you to go. But Master Yoda and I and a few others are going to Kashyyyk with our troops. The Wookiees need our help and they could certainly use a healer like yourself."

She doesn't want to go, but Eden knows that she's spent enough time on the sidelines of this war. She owes it to those in need to do whatever she can to help them. So, she turns to Luminara and nods, saying, "Yes, I'll go."

The fighting on Kashyyyk is brutal and unlike anything Eden has seen in her sixteen years of life. She finds new empathy for Barriss and the suffering that her friend endured; how it turned her once pure heart into something full of darkness. Death surrounds Eden at every turn. For every life she helps to save, it seems that two more fall to take its place. Still, the Wookiees are strong and mighty warriors. With the help of the clone army, their forces make great strides against the Separatists and their droids.

During a respite from the fighting, Master Yoda receives a report from General Kenobi of Grievous's demise. With the tide of the battle on Kashyyyk turned in favor of the Wookiees, the Grand Master gives Eden and Luminara orders to take the wounded troopers on the planet's surface to a medical frigate off-world so they could receive proper care for their injuries.

It is that single decision that spares their lives from the initial slaughter.

By the time the Chancellor gives his deadly Order, declaring all Jedi to be traitors to the Republic and sentencing them to death at the hands of the troopers they had fought side by side with for years, Eden and Luminara are already gone. There are very few troopers on the shuttle with them — most of them wounded and in no shape to fight — and though it brings her no joy to do it, Luminara puts an end to their summary execution before it truly begins and jettisons their ship into the void of hyperspace.

"Master," Eden asks through gritted teeth, both hands clutching at her head as she feels the lives of thousands of her brothers and sisters in the Force being snuffed out one by one. It is a different kind of pain from the one that Eden experienced when she lost her master, but it aches all the same and the sheer magnitude of it sends her to her knees. "What's happening? I don't understand —"

Luminara sheaths her saber and sinks to the ground at Eden's side on the floor of the cockpit. "Something terrible has happened, Padawan," Luminara murmurs, pressing a hand to her chest, and Eden knows she senses it, too. "I don't know what, but I fear that many others have suffered the same fate we faced today and were not so lucky to survive."

━━━━━━

"This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen, with the dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi. Trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple. That time has passed and our future is uncertain. We will each be challenged: our trust, our faith, our friendships. But we must persevere and in time a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you, always."

The blue light of Luminara's holocron goes out, leaving the cockpit of the ship drenched in darkness. They'd cut the power in order to preserve fuel, turning off most of the heating and dimming the lights inside the vessel. Shivering, Eden hugs her arms around her torso and rocks back and forth.

"Where do we go now?" She asks Luminara. "What do we do?"

"I don't know," her master admits, sounding as lost as Eden feels. Whatever hope Luminara had possessed before receiving Master Kenobi's message had seemingly vanished with the holocron's light. She wraps an arm around Eden's shoulder and holds her tight, not bothering to hide her tears when she starts to cry. "I don't know."

━━━━━━

They ditch the shuttle on the first backwater planet that they find, raiding it for any useful supplies and taking only what they can carry on their backs before selling it to the first buyer. Luminara uses the credits to buy them passage on the next ship off-world, posing as a pair of mother-daughter war refugees to anyone who asks.

It goes on like this for months, the two of them running and hiding for as long as they can, but their luck runs out on the planet Ossus. The irony of it all does not escape Eden, considering that Ossus had once been a Jedi world that was decimated by a powerful Sith lord. She thinks that she and Luminara will face a similar fate, but Luminara Unduli — always the great strategist — has a different plan in mind.

"Eden, we don't have much time," she says calmly, as cool and collected as ever. They've barricaded themselves in one of the many caverns of Imhar Canyon, but a seeping sense of cold lets Eden know that the red-blade wielding hunters that had chased them down are not far behind. "Soon they'll be upon us and I fear that this is a fight we cannot win."

"What do we do?" Eden asks, voice trembling — although, in actuality, it's not just her voice that's shaking. Her whole body is shivering like a leaf in the wind.

Luminara takes one of her shaking hands and presses a thin vial of clear liquid into her palms. "I found this on the shuttle before we sold it," she explains. "I believe you're familiar with its purpose."

Eden grips the vial tightly and wills herself to stop shivering so she can read the label. "Vital suppressor," she whispers aloud before looking at Luminara with a stricken expression. "Master, no —"

"There's only enough for one of us," Luminara interrupts. "And they can't kill you if they think you're already dead."

She shakes her head furiously. "No," Eden protests, voice climbing higher with panic. "No! I won't abandon you. I won't lose another master."

"Then that puts us at an impasse, Padawan, because I refuse to lose another apprentice." Luminara's voice is steady and her hands are cool as she cups Eden's face in both palms, tilting her chin up and forcing her to meet her gaze. "I already failed Barriss; I won't fail you, too."

"I can't do this without you," Eden begs. "I need you with me, Master. Please don't make me do this alone —"

"— yes, you can," Luminara cuts her off gently. "And you will. It won't be easy, but I know you're strong enough to make it through. You won't be alone, either. The Force will carry you wherever you go, if you let it." Her blue eyes grow glossy as she lets her mask of composure slip in a rare moment of vulnerability. "Please, Eden," she adds quietly. "If not for me, then for Saul. I owe him this much."

It's the hardest thing Eden has ever had to do — making the choice to live when it would be so much easier for her to die — but she does it all the same. For the honor of her two Masters, she uncorks the vial and tips its contents past her lips. Luminara holds her tight as the darkness takes her, laying her body down in the dirt and pressing her lips to Eden's forehead.

"Ayawan Harkaa, dá," she whispers as her final blessing before drawing her saber and preparing for her last stand. May the Force be with you, always.

When Eden wakes, it is dark and she is alone.

MIRIAL IS COLDER THAN SHE EXPECTED.

This is Eden's first thought when she steps foot on the surface of the Outer Rim planet. Even on a cloudless sunny day, there's still a biting chill to be found in the air. She supposes that she'll have to get used to that, if she ... Abruptly, Eden shakes her head to chase away the thought before it can fully take root.

It doesn't take much asking around at the spaceport for Eden to find the information she is looking for. She pays a speeder driver for a lift from the port and they drop her off at the bottom of a stone staircase leading towards a sprawling countryside homestead. Eden promises to pay the driver extra if they wait for her to return before hopping off the back and climbing the stone steps.

The staircase seems to stretch on forever. By the time Eden reaches the top, she is breathless and sweating. Cold wind billows through the skirts of her dress and tears at the scarf wrapped around her head, threatening to pull it loose from her shoulders. She grips it tightly and continues to press onwards towards the farm waiting in the distance.

As she draws closer to the Nazari family homestead, Eden sees the figures and faces of people that begin to take shape with each step she takes. There are young children chasing each other through fields of yellow grass, shrieking and laughing without a care in the world. Elderly grandparents watch them from the porch, wearing serene expressions upon their wrinkled faces. And inside the house: mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles gather around tables to talk freely with one another. The sound of their cheerful voices spill out the windows into the open air.

Eden stops at the edge of the property line and stares. These people are her family; this farm her birthplace and she feels ... absolutely nothing at all.

A sinking feeling settles in the bottom of her stomach then and all at once Eden realizes the horrible truth: that the temple had been her only home and the Jedi Order her only family and now they are gone forever. Nothing in the universe could ever fill that void. Not even her own flesh and blood.

Everyone she has ever loved is dead. She should have died with them.

"Hey," a child's voice says, pulling her from her thoughts. Eden looks down and finds one of the children from the field standing before her, having noticed her from a distance before deciding to investigate. "Who are you?"

Eden stares at the young girl's pale green face and it's like she's looking into a mirror from a few years past — same eyes, same nose, same mouth. The girl is probably her younger sister — perhaps a closely related cousin — yet she still feels nothing but emptiness inside her chest. No spark of recognition. No swelling of kinship and familial affection.

Just ... nothing.

The girl is waiting for an answer, so Eden musters up the poorest excuse for a smile that she can manage. "I'm no one," she replies. "Just a stranger who took a wrong turn."

Eden doesn't wait to hear the girl's response. She turns on her heel and marches back down the sprawling stone staircase to where the speeder driver is still waiting. The driver asks where to next and she tells them to take her back to the spaceport. Coming to Mirial had been a mistake — a last-ditch effort to return what she had lost. But that was a child's dream and she is not a child anymore. As the speeder hastens away from the farm, the Mirialan countryside blurs into nothingness and tears roll freely down Eden's cheeks.

By the time she reaches the port her eyes are dry and Eden buys the first ticket off the planet that she can find.

She never looks back.

a/n:           once again i have written way too much bc i don't know how to shut the fuck up but ohhhhh whale 🐳 this chapter was definitely a bit of a doozy, but i wanted to give you all some ~context~ for eden's life before order 66 and her relationships with certain characters that were very formative for her as a young girl. hopefully this wasn't too boring or rushed (it's nearly 10k words long and i definitely didn't want to make it any longer 🤡 but i did want to include as much detail as i could) and it's a lot more info-dumpy than the rest of the fic will be, so i hope that wasn't too big of a turn off either. there's going to be a bit of a time jump when the next chapter starts — roughly seven years or so, taking place right after the canon novelization a new dawn. expect to see some familiar faces veeeeeery soon! 👁👁
           ↳ as per usual, i have a few points i want to touch on: all of the information on mirial and mirialan culture included in this chapter was either based off of what we know from canon mirialan characters like barriss, luminara, etc. or from outside world-building developed by other star wars fans. the translations for the mirialan dialogue were from the coruscant translator website and the masterlist of mirialan lore/fan-lore.
          ↳ similarly, all the information about the jedi temple and the lifestyle of younglings/padawans/etc. is from various canon/legends materials like tcw and the jedi path book but also from certain comics and other outside sources. i did my best to get everything as accurate as possible, but there might be some mistakes so apologies for any of those!
           ↳ disclaimer: the scene with caleb (kanan) in the infirmary comes directly from the kanan jarrus comics. again: i took a few creative liberties there, but some of the dialogue and most of the events in that scene are directly from that series.
           ↳ while i did the best that i could to stick to canon as much as possible, obviously there are some things in this chapter that have been tweaked to fit this fic. the main one being luminara and what happened to her during/after order 66. though her character was originally meant to die on kashyyyk as seen in a deleted scene from rots, people who have watched rebels know that is no longer the case in canon, which is why i chose to have her escape kashyyyk in time to miss order 66, but still wind up in imperial custody at the end.
           ↳ the vital suppressor mentioned in this chapter is the same one used by obi-wan in the deception arc of tcw. i did some research, but it never really says what exactly the suppressor is or how rare it is. for the sake of this dumb fic i allowed miss eden to use it so she could fake her death romeo + and juliet style (except there's no romeo and she doesn't actually die, obviously) which might be totally inaccurate/unrealistic/whatever in canon but it is wot it is 🤷‍♀️
           as always: thank you all so so much for reading!!!! please feel free to share your thoughts. i always love hearing what you guys have to say. aaaand i'll see you in the next chapter! ✨