Bakugou's POV

"Katsuwuki Bakugowou,"

"Kirishima, what the fuck is wrong with you," I sighed, putting my hand on my face.

"What?"

"The hell are you saying?"

"What do you mean, uwu?"

"Fuck you," I scoffed.

"Okay," Kirishima beamed at me.

"Kirishima, class is literally starting in two minutes," I hissed at the red head.

"So?" He shrugged, his sleeve falling a bit.

A little sparkly sliver of red emerged from behind his uniform sleeve.

"Wait, what's on your forearm?"

"Hm?"

"The glitter, bitch,"

"Oh, Ms. Midnight gave me a glitter tattoo during the sleepover last night,"

"The sleepover?" I murmured.

"The sleepover, dude! The girls have a sleepover in the common room every other weekend. The girl's invited me one night and kept inviting me, so I keep coming!"

"What the hell does it say?" I asked, pulling up his sleeve to see the  cursive font.

"Princess,"

"Princess?"

"Princess,"

"I... have no words," I sighed, putting my face in my hands.

"Hey, it's manly as fuck,"

"Very,"

We heard the snoring from the front of the room stop, so Kirishima walked back to his seat as Aizawa-sensei stood up.

◇◇◇

"Katsuuuuuuuuuuuuu--"

"Shut the fuck up," I sighed.

"I just need a baguette and a brioche," Kirishima suddenly deadpanned.

"We don't have either of those," the static whore chimed in. "You can get the gluten free white bread, the potato bread--"

"What the fuck?" I asked.

"Is gluten? Take that shit out," Kirishima proceeded.

"It's gluten free," Kaminari continued.

"I don't care if it's free,"

"Swear on your fucking yeEZYS, you wan fight, we gon fight,"

"Tryna be on Worldstar?" Kirishima asked.

"What, you gonna record it?"

"Ye, I got my dollar store camera... ON!"

"What's the fucking situation?" Sero asked, placing his tray down.

"What the fuck do you want?" I hissed.

"I'm the mothafucking manAGER--"

"At the bread store?" Kirishima asked.

"B R E A D !"

"Tell him to take the mothafucking gluten  O U T  T H E  B R E A D!"

"I'mma need you to shut that bullshit up, chief," Sero said. "We can't take shit out the bread,"

"Why put in in the first place?" "I know y'all smokin' that pack,"

"We got crackers," Kaminari said, pointimg toward me. I arched my brow in confusion, scowling at the sparky son of a bitch. "No gluten,"

"Fuck crackers,"

"It's gluten free," Sero pointed out. "You want the gluten or nah?"

"Hell no. You better take the gluten out that damn shit,"

"Look, we got whole wheat. Gluten free. Texas toast. Gluten free. T O R T I L L A--"

"Fuck all that," Kirishima cut off Sero.

"What--"

"Bitchass country are y'all from? Where they got this B U L L S H I T at?" Kirishima cut me off too, confusing me further.

"Florida," Sero said.

"I knew it,"

"Look, you can either take this Y E A S T... or I'm calling the police," Kaminari threatened.

"I'm going W E A S T,"

"Nah, don't call the police, I got a warrant," Sero whispered to Kaminari.

"Honestly, fuck y'all,"

"I ain't never seen nobody act like this over no bread," I muttered to myself, rubbing my temples.

"What the fuck are you saying?" Sero asked.

"All I'm saying is fuck y'alls bread, fuck the gluten, and fuck them crackers," Kirishima continued.

"The crackers don't have gluten," Kaminari sais.

"I'll take those," Kirishima said, picking me up out of my chair.

"OI, PUT ME DOWN!"

"Okay, that's gonna be five--"

"Nah, I ain't paying," Kirishima said, running through the halls, me still in his arms.

"SHIT FOR BRAINS! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!"

"Sh, dude, there are classes going on," Kirishima said with a laugh.

"Why did you pick me up, shit fuck!"

"Because I knew I could, and you had no idea what was happening, and I knew you'd get angry at them and kill them all," Kirishima pointed out, putting me down.

"Thanks, you big fucking lug," I hissed, punching him in the arm.

"Aww, that's so unlike you! Of course, dude!"

"Shut up! It's nothing super special, you little fuck,"

"We have another couple of minutes until lunch ends, so we can go walk around. Or we can finish our food,"

"Let's walk around a bit," I mumbled, linking my pinky with his.

"Okay," Kirishima grinned, fully linking our hands together.

We walked around for a bit, in silence. Kirishima's sleeves were rolled up, revealing three glitter tattoos, all of which were the most manly fucking things in nce, but if anyone else says otherwise, I'm kicking their asses.

I glanced down at both of our hands and noticed his nails were bright fucking pink.

"Who did your nails, babe?"

"Hagakure. She's super good at it! She tried teaching me, actually, and gave me a color I could use to practice!"

"What color?"

"A sparkly black,"

"Cool,"

"Actually, could I try that out?"

"Try what out?"

"Could I... maybe, possibly, mayhaps... paint your nails a sparkly black?"

"Sure,"

"Wait, really?"

"Sure. I don't care," I yawned, resting my head on his shoulder as we walked into our class.

No one else was in the room, so we sat in the back of the room, hands still linked.

"Aw, is Katsu sleepy?" Kirishima asked, squishing my cheeks lightly.

"Shut the phuck up, Kirishima," I said, Kirishima still squishing the ever loving fuck out my cheeks.

"Aww, sleepy baby," Kirishima said, pulling nail polish out of his pocket.

"Why do you carry around nail polish?"

"Because I can," Kirishima said, putting his hand out.

I gave him my right hand, and he uncapped the nail polish.

"I know I don't have anything to help it stay or make it glossy, but you'll live,"

"Gasp, how ever will I continue," I asked, putting my hand up to my forehead, and faking passing out.

"I don't know. Will you be able to survive, patient?"

"When did this turn into a medical drama?"

"Just go with it, Katsuki,"

A/N: This was supposed to be the school prompt, but I just sorta bullshit my way outta this one. Yeet, hope you liked this fluff / crack! Stay safe and healthy! - Septic / Spark