A/N: I have no clue what to do. So I'm gonna check some writing prompts.

...

Found some.

>:)

Bakugou's POV

"Guys, oh my god," Pinky came into the room, panting as though she just ran around campus to find us sitting in the exact same spots we were before she left the dorm suddenly.

"I just ran around campus looking for you guys, because I totally forgot all of you were in Bakugou's dorm,"

Oh, hey, wouldn't you know it? I was right.

"What's up?" Scotch Tape asked, putting his phone down.

"Camie's poodle hasn't been in any of her Instagram posts for two days! I think she's missing!"

Everything stood still for a moment.

Seriously?

"You gotta be kidding me," I whispered.

"Whoa, Bakugou cares?!" Pika-shit gasped.

"Whoa!"

"YOU FUCKING RAN AROUND FOR NO REASON BECAUSE A STUPID FUCKING MUTT DIDN'T SHOW UP IN SOMEONE'S FUCKING INSTAGRAM POSTS FOR TWO DAYS?!"

"Nevermind," Pika-shit sighed.

"Look, I understand that this might be somewhat... concerning," I spat out that word like it poisoned me, shoved me down the stairs and shot me in the head. "But you've literally done this thousands of times a month. And it's especially worse when you're on your period. Do you need tampons?"

"I do not need tampons!" Pinky yelled. "I need to find Camie's poor puppy!"

"We can meet up an talk about it, if you'd like," Kirishima said.

Stupid helpful son of a bitch, being all cute and shit.

"We meet up at midnight!" Pinky said, striking her palm with her fist.

"I'm gonna get ready!" Pika-shit said, getting up and leaving.

Pinky and Scotch Tape did the same as I held my face in my hands.

"Why do we always have to meet at midnight for things? I can barely fucking stay up past ten, so what makes them think I wanna stay up that late to look for some dumb dog?" I mumbled.

"You don't have to go with us, dude," Kirishima said, laughing a littled.

"FUCK OFF!"

•••

"Why is Kirishima wearing a skull shirt?" Mina asked.

"This dumb fucking ray of sunshine doesn't own a speck of black in his wardrobe," I deadpanned, jerking a thumb to the distracted redhead.

"Holy shit, is that a flying squirrel?" he gasped.

Pika-shit and Pinky looked where Kirishima was, and I facepalmed.

"Want some coffee? Keep you awake?" Scotch Tape asked, shaking a small can at me.

"I want some vodka to drink away the pain, but that's a close enough second," I swiped the can from his hand, cracking it open and guzzling it.

"Bakugou,"

Kirishima held onto my arm.

"Can I have some?"

"Get your own," I scoffed.

"Aww,"

Kirishima pouted and gave me the puppy dog eyes that make me fucking weak at the knees.

Dumb motherfucker. He's like a big fucking dog. A big, fluffy, hyper, adorable puppy that constantly wants to play.

Kinda cute.

"Ugh,"

I handed him the can.

"You're the best!" He grinned, taking large sips from the can.

"Ooh, was that an indirect kiss?" Pinky came between Kirishima and I, wiggling her eyebrows.

I stiffened, palms clenching.

"Sh-shut it! No it wasn't! He just wanted fucking coffee!"

It obviously was.

"Uhm, I have more cans, my guy," Sero said, pulling out another.

FUCK.

"Doesn't matter! Let's go find this fucking mutt so I can pretend this didn't happen faster," I growled, walking off.

"Hey, Bakugou! Wait up!"

•••

Sneaking out of the dorms was harder than I'd like to admit.

However, taking the train at the ass crack of dawn and trying to break into another school was much harder.

I don't know why the fuck Pinky cares so much about a mongrel.

Especially if it isn't hers!

Like, what the fuck?!

"This is so stupid. We're gonna be caught and arrested," I whispered.

"Cool it, we'll be okay!" Scotch Tape said, handing me my fifth can of coffee.

This much caffeine intake is terrible, I know.

But I will genuinely pass the fuck out if I do not drink another coffee every hour right now.

At this point, we were close to the campus, but they had security guards outside.

Which we didn't realize until a little bit later.

So, as a security guard was about to see us, I shoved myself and the nearest person into an alleyway.

The nearest person was Kirishima, and the alleyway was very tight.

We were pressed together so close, that if one of us moved even an inch, we'd end up with our lips locking.

...

Not like I think about that, or anything.

But, the alleyway was also very dark.

So it was a fantastic hiding spot.

"Uhm... Bakugou?" Kirishima whispered, his breath fanning across my mouth.

"Fucking what?!" I whispered back, feeling my face and ears burn from the close quarters we were in.

"Uh... right now might not be the best time to say this," he began. "But... there's something I gotta get off my chest,"

Kirishima shuffled a little to the right, our lips brushing for just a moment.

And only a moment.

But that moment made fireworks explode in my head.

"I... uh... god, this is so stupid," he quietly chuckled to himself. "I... like you. A lot. Like... as a crush. Not just a bro,"

"Fucking kiss me, you red haired son of a bitch," I hissed, grabbing his shirt in tight fists.

"What?!" He whisper yelled.

"Fine, I'll fucking do it myself," I muttered to myself before putting my mouth on his.

It was absolutely euphoric.

Both of us had absolutely no fucking clue what we were doing, but we were doing it.

The fists that curled into Kirishima's shirt were tightening and loosening on and off, as I was hit with waves of confidence and insecurity.

Do I bring a step further?

My unasked question was answered as Kirishima took my bottom lip between his teeth for a moment.

Slowly opening my mouth, I decided to let Kirishima take the lead.

Up until I saw a bright flash.

Pulling away, I turned and saw Mina giggling.

"PINKY, I SWEAR TO GOD!"

"Bakugou, it's one in the morning!"

A/N: So, this was obviously a crack fic. Well, that's at least how it started. I'm no good with detective stuff. I did do a detective Kirishima oneshot that was treated far more seriously in my main Kiribaku Oneshots book. It's actually the most recent one. I think it's called "Where The Hell Is He", but I can't remember. I'd have to check. So if you wanna see something a little more... legit, I guess (?) go read that? I dunno. See ya tomorrow! Stay safe and healthy! - Septic / Spark

Edit: Wattpad was being a dick last night, so I couldn't publish this on time, and I couldn't post an announcement either. But, here it is! Thank you for your patience! Stay safe and healthy! - Septic / Spark