Roy was asleep on the floor next to me, his soft breathing a comfort to my right. His music continued to shuffle, moving between genres and meanings I no longer knew. I had stopped keeping track of time, and now concentrated solely on my thoughts.

The people on tv.

The night with the guests.

These were the only thoughts I knew.

Roy moved into my room for the next few weeks, and made a pallet of blankets in the side of my bed. I had a bad tremor the night prior, and collapsed on the kitchen floor. Following it, I've had fever and sharp pains all over my chest.

Roy, as always was here for my recovery and any needs that may follow. I couldn't force him to leave if I could. His attentive care was steadfast, and out of the rest of the household he stayed with me the most. He would wake up, rubbing his face and checking the clock. Then he'd turn to me, turn back to face the view, and drift off again.

The room was now fading into colors of grey and blue, leaving the sky deeply contrasted. I drifted off a few times, but regained my mobility and consciousness before breakfast. Stretching my arms, I nudged Roy sheepishly. He groaned but didn't do much more. My hands were shaking with morning weakness, that feeling you get when you oversleep breakfast and your stomach twists to a numb end. I somehow got this every mealtime, despite that I hardly did enough exercise to burn through anything. My metabolism was just astonishingly good, too good for it's job.

"Roy." I croaked, nudging him one more time.

He was still asleep.

This is getting nowhere, I chided.

I leaned a bit further over my bed and knocked over my glass of water. It poured over onto Roy's face, the glass adding the icing to the cake when it smacked against his head.
He woke up in a red-eyed gasp and sat up from his nest.

"I need more water," I drawled.

"Wha-" He breathed, "What time is it?"

"A quarter till seven."

"You just wasted it! You can't wait to drink at breakfast." He bemoaned, rubbing his face his pillow.

"You're supposed to help me," I retorted, "And I don't wish to be downstairs at the moment. Matter of fact, I need you to go get breakfast for me as well."

"One minute you're downstairs, another you're not." He sighed.

"I made a mistake coming downstairs last time."

"Well, you look like you can walk to me."

"That's not a fact."

"Well tou can't stay in bed forever."

"But I can."

"No, you can't," Roy retorted, standing up and stretching his arms.

I sat up on the edge of my bed with the blanket hugged over me. I rubbed my hands through my hair, "Why are you so difficult."

"Call me difficult if you want," He stated, maneuvering through my closet, "But you look fine to me. You got to understand your life isn't solely about you. It affects us too, no matter what you do. You can't linger in this dark safe space of yours."

He pulled out a burgundy T-shirt from the hanger, and laid it on the end of my bed. I watched him solemnly; a hundred things going through my mind about last month. Once he stopped moving and took notice I wasn't moving, he crossed his arms and breathed.

"Kaur, I'm serious."

"Alright." I breathed, "You're so damn overwhelming."

"Brothers are supposed to be overwhelming," He retorted, "If you want, we can talk and get shit off your chest."

"No," I stopped, "I don't want to engage in that."

Roy lowered his eyes and sighed, "Why can't you just see that I'm here to help you, not because I'm told to."

"What you do doesn't concern me."

"Why are you being so timid?"

"Aren't you supposed to be going downstairs?"

"Don't change the subject," Roy pressed, stepping closer to me. I creased my lips and glanced away. The thoughts burned in my chest, and I felt as if my voice might quake. I didn't need to talk about my problems,  or my views. What will there be to gain out if anyone knowing? Nothing on my behalf will change.

"We can talk." He repeated.

"There's no point." I muttered.

"You seemed upset after watching those Rioters."

"We were all upset..." I glowered. Roy sat at my computer chair, as if waiting on me to go on. I wasn't going to progress much further if I didn't speak. Knowing Roy and his stuborness, he'd sit there until I vented to him.

"Do you ever wonder if one day they'll just...throw out all the sick people?" I muttered,"If the upper class keeps growing, eventually someone will need to be pushed to the bottom,"

"I doubt that." Roy muttered.

"Explain your answer."

"They'll find a way to fix it. Just like how they did last time."

"Do you know how they fixed it last time?"

"Yes," Roy scoffed, "They turned out all the criminals and saved us food and space."

"Where did those criminals go?" I pressed.

"Outside the walls."

"You know that's a lie."

"I'm not into conspiracies like you are Kaur. I only know what happened by recorded facts.

"Just like how Tara has almost no crime now, we will have no homeless people. It's just one undesireable group after another, a bell curve even."

"Why a bell curve?"

"Eventually they'll have nothing left to get rid of," I explained, "and the population will starve or decline."

"How long have you been thinking of this?"

"Think I just sit back reading for kicks and giggles? Plus...every time a group of targetted people gets eliminated, we have a healthier yield."

"Of course we'd have a bigger yield. There's less people-"

"I said healthier not bigger," I spoke keenly, "The soil composition had changed, and it will change again this time thanks to the new bodies."

"Their bodies were going to go in the ground anyways," Roy exscused, "Where did you think they go?  It doesn't seem suprising that they'd recycle humans as compost. It makes sense."

"Tha-That's not the point..." I muttered.

I didn't suspect that he would understand, but knowing surely that he doesn't disappoints me.

"..let's just go to breakfast, okay?"

Sometimes Roy had me written on the back of his hand; a whole encyclopedia of my life. He knew me on a level where I didn't have to explain, and that made my life easier. But when it came to political scandals and theories...

He and absolutely clueless...

Not nearly as clueless as Yonic, but clueless in the sense he didn't see that Tara wasn't executing people for justice, but for the sole purpose to turn undesireable people into fertilizer. Not because they were bad, but because we needed food.

"I'll meet you downstairs then." He sighed, folding his blankets and walking out the bedroom door.

I slowly got up from the bed; my body aching numbly. I stretched until I could feel the bones in my body crack, a relief on my part. I proceeded to the bathroom, the floor cold enough to give me goose bumps. I faced my reflection in the ornamental mirror, my stomach stirring with repulsive emotions.
The skin on my arms were pale in pigment, as if my undertones had turned blue. My eyes were red from the excessive naps, and I felt a hint of nausea in my head. I rubbed my hand across my face, and shook it off.

I grabbed my toothbrush from the medicine cabinet, and brushed my teeth. After close speculation, I splashed a handful of water into my face and took my pills. Stepping back into my room, I went to my bed and grabbed my clothes. I pulled them on, heaving with exhaustion and disapproval all the way.

I made my way down the hallway and to the staircase, where Roy waited for my arrival. He was leaning over the rail, listening to the sounds coming from downstairs. "I think we're in for a surprise." He whispered.

"Why?" I asked.

"We have guests."

"What?" I stopped, "I can't go downstairs then."

"Roland hasn't said anything-"

"Because he wasn't expecting me."

"Why should you have to ask to have dinner with your own damn family?" He hissed, "You're coming downstairs with me."

"Roy no-"

"Yes. Come on." He ordered, grabbing my by my arm.

"Roy, no, no, no." I repeated, but he was too strong for me to fight back. Including I didn't want our chaos to draw Roland from the guests.

He pulled me into the living room, three foreign jackets hanging on the coat hanger. I shook my head to him, but he continued to trudge me forward.
"Just be cool. Like you just woke up." He whispered.

I bit on my lips, and cursed myself as he lead me into the dining room entrance.

Everyone stopped in surprise and looked at me. Roland exchanged glances with the guests and then with Roy.

"Good afternoon," Roy smiled, leaning against the open frame, "Didn't warn me that the Bellamys would be here."

I looked at the Bellamys, who studied me up and down curiously. A girl, her father, and another whom I believe to be her older brother. They looked ordinary, but the boy's and the girl's features didn't look like anything I've ever seen before. The girl especially had a rich yellow glow to her, and tannish skin. The boy on the other hand had slanted eyes, high cheek bones, and a reddish tint around his face. His hair was also dark, nearly pitch black and much thicker than the rest of ours.

I knew immediately he had to be mixed with some other race, but which one exactly seemed foreign to me.

My heart raced as I returned their stares, and I tried my best to seem casual.

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry. It wasn't planned." Roland hesitated.

"Well," Roy paused, eyeing me to go sit, "Guess news doesn't travel far enough."

Roland watched me as I sat down next to Silas and Cale. I couldn't force myself to meet his eyes. Already I felt ashamed for coming here. I felt Silas' hand trail up my back and to my opposite shoulder. He looked down at me unsmiling, but his expression was soft and comforting. He was trying to make sure I remained calm under the pressure. To an extent, I felt protected under his wing. It would only be temporary.

"So Kaur...I thought you were bed resting?" Roland queried.

"I was..." I muttered. His voice wasn't hostile, but it still made me uneased. I felt my hands shaking under nervousness, but I kept my composure,"But I got hungry...So."

"Roy could've brought you something?"

"No its fine. I wanted to eat with the family....if that's fine?"

Roland raised his eyebrows and exchanged glances with Roy. Cecelia graciously interrupted and placed a plate and some silverware in front of me. I thanked her, and allowed Silas to prepare my plate for me. I glanced at the girl who sat across from me.

Almost immediately I was confounded by her delicate beauty.

Her hair was long and dark, reaching her shoulders in weightless curls. She had eyes that were like daises, showcasing an array of orange and yellow hues. Her skin was smooth and beige, almost irresistible to admire. I couldn't help but compare her to the sun. Everything about her body seemed celestial. When she saw that I was gazing admirably at her, she blushed and hid a smile.

"Kaur."

I blinked and turned to Roland.
"What would you like to drink?" He asked, giving me a monitory smile.

"Oh, I'll have water if that's fine." I replied, my cheeks reddened to a crimson color.

"So, this is your hidden child huh?" The man spoke, eyeing me attentively.

"Yes," Roland smiled, "He's the quiet one."

"Your name is Kaur, correct?"

"Yes sir." I nodded.

"I'm Xeyrus, but please call me Mr.Bellamy," He noted, "and this is my daughter Safeara."

"Safeara?" I breathed, "Oh, aren't you Leean's friend from school? The one she's always visiting."

"Yep, that's me." She grinned, twisting her hair between her thumb and index finger.

"It's nice to finally meet you." I smiled.

"You too." She shied away.

I heard a cough escape from Mr.Bellamy's throat, and I quickly diverted my attention.

"..And of course you too Mr.Bellamy." I added wholeheartedly.

"Of course," Xeyrus continued, "So you go to school?"

"No. I'm home schooled."

"Still?" He asked surprisingly, "Are you ever going to let him out the house Roland?

"I might consider when he's twenty." Roland joked.

Lucky me, I thought. Somehow I doubted he would even let me free at that age.

"You play any sports?" Xeyrus went on.

"No sir."

"None?"

"I just don't have time to."

"What are you busy with all day?"

"Sleep..." I trailed off and looked at Roland for reassurance. He watched me, but didn't seem to disapprove of me being honest, "I don't like to spend a lot of time up and about. I may get nauseous."

"Well," Mr.Bellamy sighed sympathetically, "That's unfortunate."

"We've had to change his medicine twice this year." Silas intervened. I saw Roland flash him a grim expression, but Silas didn't look at him.

"That's a push."

"Like all things, eventually his body gets used to it and it's no longer effective."

"He'll be fine," Roland broke in, "There's nothing to worry about."

"I disagree." Silas pushed on.

"You don't want to keep giving him stronger pills Roland-" Mr.Bellamy advised.

"We'll find a substitute soon," Roland nodded, "He'll be fine."

I looked at both of them. I couldn't believe they were discussing this out in the open, in front of guests. Roland seemed to make no attempt to stop themselves from uttering out my condition. I felt ashamed that the subject had to be another debate about me and my affliction. It seemed even with a casual meal with strangers, it could never remain purely innocent and joyous.

I felt embarassed, and odd. Like some circus animal to prowl on.

"Roland," Xeyrus spoke softly, "If you need my help, I can-"

"No. We won't go through that." Roland ended.

Xeyrus nodded his head respectfully and in understanding, but his expression was still the same.

Was he a doctor?

What did he mean by help?

All the conversation brought upon was more questions.

The table continued on to talk about other matters, and so often I would add my own opinion and join in. Yonic, being the life of every occasion tossed jokes around the table, allowing a sense of joy and relaxation to engulf us.

Now and then, Silas and Cale would discuss their jobs in SHURA, a special ops in Terra's armed forces.

Of all the things I despised, I hated it the most...

As long as Silas spoke about his work, I would never be able to forget that he killed people for a living.

In the eyes of the public he was a hero. Glorified for doing the dirty work of our leaders. So much that he'd grown right under the wing of Ladon, the chief of state and the Elite's strongest member. Roland was his legate, and now Silas' was his guard dog.

At times I wonder what he would do if it came down to him needing to murder the sick.

I asked to be excused from the table.

Roland approved, and I made my way to the kitchen. I didn't want to be around it. I didn't want to think about my condemnation. I sat at the island counter, picking the leaves out of the fruit basket. I could hear them laughing in the dining room. I knit my brow and squeezed an apple in my palm.

What's my purpose I asked it.

The apple returned no comfort.

I sighed and placed it back down.

"Hey, you okay?"

I looked to my right to see Safeara standing in the doorway. My heart stuttered. "I'm fine." I assured her.

"You don't seem fine."

"Maybe it's just the food." I suggested.

"Seemed pretty good to me." She spoke curiously, taking a few steps towards me. She took a seat at one of the stools, and stretched her arms out on the counter. She seemed at ease to be near me, It made me feel the opposite.

"You don't have to sit here with me... I'm fine."

"I want to." She stated.

"Okay." I muttered, looking away towards the window. For some reason I felt nervous with her being next to me. As if I might mess up. Like I shouldn't be here alone with her. Knowing myself, the possibilities of something stepping out of line...

"So, Roland told us earlier that you were too sick to come to dinner."

"Oh."

"Was that a lie?"

"I don't..." I trailed off, "I don't know. He probably just thought I would be sleeping in. "

"You feel fine now though, right?"

"Yeah." I muttered, gazing at her warm eyes.

"Good."

Her cheeks were the color of roses, elegant and gentle as her demeanor. She placed her hand on her chin, and titled her head ever so slightly. I felt mesmerized by her presence.

"Why haven't we met before?" She asked quietly.

"I guess...I was probably in bed when you came over."

"Every single time?"

"Yeah." I paused.

"Was it...On purpose?"

"I knew you were there." I answered earnestly, "I just couldn't say hi."

"Why doesn't Roland let you come downstairs when there's guests over? Honestly, don't you ever get lonely?"

"All the time." I replied solemnly.

She stopped and looked down, "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I'm used to it."

"I wish there was a way to fix it."

"If it makes you feel better," I broke in, "I'm not lonely right now."

She smiled at me, and played lightly with her hands. "I'm glad you're not lonely anymore." She gleamed.

I couldn't help but smile as I looked her up from her hands up to her face. I felt like fire burning in a cage. There was something about meeting her that made me want to do unfathomable things. Maybe it was because she was sincere and sweet, or maybe because she was my first strange female encounter. I didn't know.

We continued talking throughout the evening. No one wondered where we were, or cared to check in on us. We sat at the island counter, taking little bits and pieces of each other and putting them out into the air. I learned that she was in theater, and loved to dance. In return she learned that despite my enclosure, I loved the outdoors, and I enjoyed classical music. She was excellent at playing the piano, and even won her schools talent show. She learned I was excellent at remembering things, and sometimes took time to read.

She had no mother.

And neither did I.

Uskay was her adopted sibling, and her biological one, Saroyan...she didn't wish to speak of.

We were both lonely children in a sense. We were at a loss, and a road with no real direction to go. Her father gave her the option to choose whether or not she wished to go into an Academy after high school. But as an hierarchy, her other options were a little more than unorthodox.

"It's expected of me," She said, "My father serves directly under the Elite's. I'm a dignitary, I have to uphold that birth name or I could be sent to a lower district."

"So you have to work with whatever you're born into?"

"At least we'll be under their protection if I do. You know how it is."

"Yeah," I exhaled, looking down at my arms, "I know."

Only if she knew how much I understood.

"More people are dying," She continued, "I overheard my father in his office talking about it on the phone. He doesn't want me to worry, so he never talk about it outside his work. But I heard district four has had several dead this month from starvation."

"I..I thought Tara was celebrating its 10th year without famine."

"So they say," she lowered, "I think Terra is purposely leaving district four out of the census. Like they did with district five. To make it seem like everything is happy and please the upper class."

"But it's not like district four has demanded sovergnty." I stopped, slowly shaking my head in disbelief, "Why suddenly disband and abandon them?"

"I think resources are depleting more than what they're saying."

"So what's going to happen to the district?"

"I don't know...But it's sad." She whispered, placing her hand over her lips, "All those people."

"I'm sure they'll find away to regain their strength."

She looked at me in doubt. We both knew the protocol for handling famines. The walls would be locked; not even the upper class will be filtered out. Everyone will be labeled as a possible cause. A possible rebel. Create a scare and a reason to kill in order to refertile the land.

I studied her. She was truly heartbroken by their indictment. But to the rest of society, death was nothing more than second nature. Nothing would be taken into account by the media. No memorial. No memory. Nothing but silence.

"Safeara?" Mr.Bellamy called from the hallway.

"In here, Dad." She called back.

He walked into the kitchen with her jacket and handbag, "You ready?"

"Yes sir." She answer, standing up from the stool.

"Hope you two had fun, right?" He said, helping her get on her jacket.

"Yes sir." I replied.

"Good."

After Safeara got on her belongings, I walked them back into the lobby where Roland and the rest were waiting by the door. They all exchanged hugs and pats on the backs.

"I hope to see you all around soon," Mr.Bellamy gleamed, "Hopefully we'll see eachother around at the 10th anniversary?"

"Of course, my family will be there." Roland concluded, eyeing me proudly.

"Sounds great." Mr.Bellamy declared, "Even Kylo?"

I paused and looked at Roland apprehensively.

Was he serious?

I was never told this.

"It's a must." Roland assured him, nodding him off.

Xeyrus returned the nod and waved goodbyes to all of us. Safeara gave me a gentle hug before our depart. For a few seconds, it felt like everyone's eyes were on us. I couldn't tell the mixture of emotions in the room, but it was somewhere between awe and worry. I tried to exclude the worried part, and just focus on holding her delicate body.

"I hope you feel better soon Kiyo." She smiled, patting my shoulder.

"You too Safeara." I answered softly.

"Just call me Saf."

She let go of me and heading out the door. I allowed an excited grin to escape from my lips as I watched her walk out onto the dark pavement. They got in the car, and waved another time before driving out into the night.

I felt Silas' hand come up behind me and pat my back.

"I'm proud of you." He muttered.

"For what?"

"For being apart of the family again." He breathed.

I studied his expression, and saw that he was serious. I hadn't intruded as I had initially thought, but instead walked into a welcoming setting. I reared to glance at Roland as he winked at me with assent. He allowed a smile to escape his lips, as he turned to walk upstairs. He had no objection towards me. Everything was fine, and for that moment my soul was at ease.

And the alone time I spent with Safeara, had Roland actually trusted me?

This was all new to me...

But I liked the idea of this new change..

And the idea of her.