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The commotion I caused at the banquet, as expected, caused an influx of curiosity.

People wanted answers.

During the banquet I had lost conscious and somehow, something shattered the windows in the garden hall from the inside.

It was me.

That part I did remember, though it was in the form of an explosion to me.

Maybe I was too delusional to tell the difference.

They thought Roland was neglecting me. He refused to take me to the hospital, even after Ladon's suggestion and offering of free care. His quick refusal to take his advice was seen as disrespectful and obnoxious among the other Elites, even though he and Ladon were close friends. Some conspirators said it was child abuse, and I was screaming out the trauma I experienced in my subconscious. Other claimed I might be schizophrenic, and that's why Roland continues to hide me.

He looked as distressed as I was.

We were all backed into a corner.

And if we wanted to see another day, we needed to keep our mouths shut.

"I made a mistake." He abruptly testified.

I buried my mouth in the palm of my hand.

"In my judgement, I apologize." He continued earnestly. His eyes glazed over; was it sadness or anger in his tone? I didn't know how to respond. I felt numb to the core, a half eaten apple with seeds yet to escape its barriers. I nodded my head in a natural response, and he sighed, leaning against the dining table.

This was all we could do.

Mope down. Solemn up.

There was too much thinking to be done and not enough time.

At the very least, It was a warm day out. I could see the sun for a change, but the sky still melted into an acidic grey. With the worlds condition, even it had reasons to be gloomy.

Roland and I have been sitting here with the windows open for about an hour. He had made me a cup of black tea, and I sipped it with the melancholy of a mannequin. Roland didn't seem too different. We both were pondering about the same thing, and laid up restless for most of the night. He had lost all elation. His expression was as hard and cold as the tundra. There would be no middle ground for him today. Simply black and white, but preferably on the blacker spectrum.

"Your free to go."

He looked out at the cliffs, where the sea met the crippled brown grasses. His arms were crossed, as if he was trying to shut something out.
I couldn't move, I felt all motivation had been drained from my body. I had no direction to go in. No purpose.

"Go outside and tend to the dogs then." He suggested.

I looked at him; unquestionably I stood from the table. In honesty, the dogs were the last thing I wanted to see, but I knew with the circumstances leaving the mansion would be my best option. I nodded my head in agreement, and passed him into the kitchen where the door leading to the back patio stood. I couldn't hear him move from the table, but was certain he was in the kitchen watching me from the window. If I looked back it, it might become too complex. I just needed to leave. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I walked up the end of the trail to the kennels, the smell of fresh dew and cut grass in the air. As I approached, I could hear the dogs barking excitedly inside. They've been waiting for me, I knew. I haven't been out to greet them in several days, but I suppose that could constitute as weeks in dog time.

But they held no grudges.

No judgement.

The didn't hold onto stereotypes like humans, which is an even more ironic factor about the dogs since they are hunters. They searched for things, creatures, organisms like me. They ward off sick animals, and warn fellow humans of approaching danger. They had an extreme knowledge and superstition when it came to dealing with dangerous hardships. That's what Shepherds are bred for now, to protect, to warn, to run away and snap at me like any other sensible animal.

But they haven't, and they won't. The scent is there but they don't fear me. They treated me like I was normal..

Somehow to the point where I forgot that I wasn't.

I opened the doors, and dust whipped around my ankles as the new air set in. Duke, Ferma, Ledric, Deja, Haustin, and Jerman, all bounced around in ther cages, barking, standing, whipping their tails. I started from the first door to the last, letting them out of their kennels. All except for Jerman and Ferma, the dogs shot out from the open door into the hills. Their majestic manes swayed with the wind, their tails raised high and dominant. I was proud of what they've become. They've become something more cherished to me than humans. The domestic canine, an honest, friendly creature.

"Woof!"

I looked down to my right to see Jerman sitting at my hip. His mouth gaped open with serene happiness; eyes staring like the moon. The very sight of me caused my stomach to contort in in disgust. I stepped away from him, not wanting to give him any of my attention. He followed, as well as Ferma, her adoption of Jerman as her son making me regret bringing him into the family.

"The outsider."

Jerman was a runt, and a foreign crossbreed. My brothers and I crossed his path back when spring was still blanketed in frost. Ferma was the one who sniffed him out, in the outstretched of the forests, a little off the trail. He was six months old sleeping under an abandoned tarp, bounded by the scent of death. Unlike our traditional shepherds, he had a black face and nuzzle, with chestnut eyebrows and cheeks. The rest of him was like his face, black with ash brown hues here and there. His eyes were a goldish yellow, unlike the traditional honey brown eyes of the full blooded shepherd.

Impure, uncultivated, and full of ignorance, If it were my choice he would've never came to our home. The memorialized kennel that once occupied our previous Shepard, was now taken by a bastard. Jerman used to nip at the ankles of the other dogs and steal food, knocking over the bowls. He jump on top of others, and rip apart the wires on the hay stacks. At the time he was untamed, untrained, and rowdy... until of course Ledric, the new pack leader put him in his place.
A pale brown scar raised from his nuzzle to his lip. Even in some distance it was visible, a permanent reminder he was at the bottom of the food chain. He was scavenger, scraping the walls for recognition and renewal.

Ledric gave him no such acknowledgement. If Jerman came near, he would tolerate him for only a short time.

But even still, Jerman remained imbecilic. He was too happy, too comfortable with his lifestyle to forsee his position. Having his likeness so close to me makes me sick.

"Go play." I ordered, shooing him to go run with the others. He tilted his head and looked at me, then pulled his ears back yearningly.

He's detesting me.

I faced him and raised my hand in reprimand, "Go!" I ordered, my temperament becoming short, "Go away you stupid bastard!"

Jerman whined and placed his tail between his legs, crouching backwards as I yelled in resentment. The words kept slipping through, the buildup of my self-abnegation forcing itself into bitterness. I found myself kicking the dirt in his direction, cursing his soul into hell. He refused to run away from my outrage.
When my words finally turned into a fit of coughs, I lowered my hands onto my knees and glared in repulsion.

Stupid.

Ferma came closer to me, licking my hand as if to comfort. I placed my hand over her, rubbing the side of her underbelly in appreciation. She nuzzled my chin gently, and looked at me for direction.

"Lets go." I whispered.

I began to walk downhill towards the parade of dogs, frolicking in the grasses. Jerman sat and watched, alone, and disconcerted. His essence, his being, his livelihood made my stomach twist.
I didn't look back at him for assurance. He was waiting for some sort of hand, some calling, some surety. I wasn't going to give in and submit my kindness to a mockery.
He didn't deserve to take Tikkani's place, as if an aberrant dog could fullfill the things I've lost...

Could heal the pain I felt...

Could replace the friend I knew..

It was a lie...

And Roland was delusional for thinking such.

***

"You see the way he treats him."

"I know." Roland sighed, looking out the window.

Cale filled his cup up with tea, and placed three teaspoons of honey. He was dressed in a T-shirt and some joggers. He'd just come in from his morning run, and witnessed Kiyo with the dogs on the hill.

"Think we should get him a new home? I think every time Kiyo sees him, he slowly gets more virulent. He's not going to accept him over Tikkani, and it's Kiyo's responsibility to train the new pup-"

"Give it time." Roland spoke softly, placing his hand under his chin. He wasn't up to debate whether the dog was a good liability or not.

"I just don't see how he'll be a therapy to Kiyo." Cale sighed, taking a sip of his drink.

Roland didn't respond. For several seconds, the lack of communication settled, and the kitchen became quiet. In the halls, the whistling of the wind and the sounds of maids arriving for their duties entranced the home. Footsteps dispersed in every direction as the mansion came alive with people again. It was only time until breakfast will have to be made.

"He's changing, Cale." Roland spoke abruptly.

He seemed lost; something rare for Roland. He always had good judgement and decision planing when it came to his family's well being.

But now..

"It's stopped working?" Cale whispered.

"This was our last option. It's spread too much."

"What will we do?" Cale asked, "Does Silas know you've given up?"

"I haven't given up," Roland implied, "We've lost nothing yet. We just need to start scavenging our options for the future, what we can do it hide it. This was nothing but a pause in the process. I should've know his immune system wasn't strong enough to handle it. I thought with puberty it would begin to disappear, but it hasn't."

"Does Kiyo know?"

"He's guessed how serious it is."

"There has to be something stronger."

"The medicine is harming him. We can no longer just target a source. It's spreading."

"He'll become contagious."

"We'll have to take extra measures to keep clean."

"He'll feel even more isolated."

"What other choice do we have."

Cale paused and leaned against the counter. They both seemed lost on that answer. They couldn't fix him forever.His body has already chosen it's fate. There was no reversing it now.

"There's always the other option." Cale whispered.

The both locked gazed, and Roland knit his brown in resentment.

"No," he started, "We're not doing that."

"Let him choose."

"Cale, there's no reversing it once it goes. Least for now we can maintain its growth for a little longer."

"If he starts now he might have a head start in controlling it for himself. Build up tolerance. Slowly."

"And risk him losing control? No."

"The longer he waits the more painful it'll be once it hits. Like a child suddenly having years of hormonal growth all at once."

"This isn't up for discussion Cale." Roland finished, placing down his tea, "We wait."

Cale frowned, but nodded his head in congruity. He stood from the table and placed his empty cup in the sink. They exchanged short glances and sighed, both in a quandary for their futures. Everything, family, home, work, all at risk. There's no surety next year will come easy, or that they'll be able to continue their lives into next month.

Only time will tell, Roland pondered on.