"Kaur! Hey Kaur wake up!"

I opened my eyes to be embraced by a circle of people, watching me on all corners. Roland's face was the first I noticed, his eyes withered with panick. Julian stood nearby along with Roy, both indecisive on how to respond. Everyone was silent, their expressions depicting clear injunction. I was laying on the floor, my skin prickled with goose bumps and sleeves stained with blood.

What happened?

Authorities directed people backwards, ordering them to make a clear path as Roland scanned me for any injuries.

"He's alright," He breathed, "He's awake."

"What happened?" I croaked, as he lifted my back stiffly off the floor. I could hear the anxious sighs of the guests being put at ease. My body felt like it was launched down a hill; head pulsing, skin blemishing. The floor was deranged with crystals, some beneath where I lay. A silver platter and several wine bottles encircled me, broken and shattered.
Another man stood near, cursing under his breath as he wiped champagne from his drenched suit. The whole while his face was compressed with anger. Several other butlers and guests spoke among the crowd, whispering and clutching to know what provoked my sudden change in behavior. Ladon's eyes probed between me to Roland, his expression astringent.

"Are you sure you don't want an ambulance?" He pressed on.

"Yes," Roland assured him, "I'm very sure. I'll take him home to get some rest immediately."

"Roland-"

"He just needs his rest." Roland affirmed.

Their eyes locked on, Ladon's stern proposal and Roland's absolute defiance clashing head to head. I felt his hand stiffen on my shoulder, pressing until I could feel it burying into my bones.
I could tell from his tone, he was praying to not be urged on, but if notions needed to be taken he was ready to fight for my being. He wasn't going to let me go. No one could have me, no one could seperate me from his hold.

He would kill.

Kill every last one of them to save me.

It was hard to believe my father, a simple man, could be so withstanding.

"Alright," Landon ended, "If you need anything, please, let me know. Do call once you arrive home."

"Of course. Thank you." Roland replied, placing his arm underneath mine. He lifted me up, making sure I had the strength to remain upright and walk. My vision was still depecrit, but I could spot out Xeyrus holding my blazer and following us closely with Safeara and Roy.
He approached and briefly exchanged words with Roland, something along the lines of "I'll take the others home."

Roland nodded silently to this, and proceeded to escort me to the exit.
Everyone in the banquet hall was watching, all probably still dismayed by my comportment.
I didn't know what to say or do. The only comfort I had was Roland as he cradled me through the midst of taut eyes.
The specks of blood and glass on my shirt were of nothing I had imagined. I remember seeing worse, much worse.

Why?

Why the explosion?

The sounds of screaming people?

I didn't understand it. I didn't understand what was wrong with me.

Sick? Yes, but not crazy.

Why had I hallucinated all of a sudden in the banquet?

Roland didn't speak a single word until we had withdrawn from the castle. When guests approached him, he simply nodded to the ones that shared their concerns. He didn't meet their eyes, or stop walking. He gravely continued his pace until I had safely reached the car doors, awaiting by a valet.

"Don't say a word." He whispered as he sat me in the drivers seat and closed the door. People were already swarming outside, requesting answers to their cognitions. No doubt with Rolands reputation, this will make its surface in the royal community and all those below it.

Son of Roland hallucinating and blacked out at Elite Banquet.

I felt ashamed.

I felt embarassed.

As if my physical wellbeing wasn't already in inquiry, now the dignified complexes will find reason to suspect something more than my ailments.
As suspecting so, Roland only briefly took questions, trying not to let them bite off more than they should. He continued on to the drivers seat of the car, waving his hand in depature. He closed the door and placed both hands on the steering wheel, sighing deeply.

I turned to face him, my eyes scanning the damage they had done.

My father looked tired...

and desperately terrified....

It's my fault.

My cold lips trimbled; my hands shook from the panic. The sound of the world disappeared until all I could hear was his jagged breathing. The terror that heaved from his chest filled mine to..

It tore me up until all I could do was choke.

"I'm so sorry." I almost finished, but instead he quickly hushed me, blaming himself for pushing me to go. He said things would have to change. What aspects of that he meant, I didn't know. We had to adjust to my growing...

Or to be specific, what was growing inside of me..

I didn't want to be alone.

"I will be alone."

Dangerous.

And alone.

He started the car, quickly driving through the gates and onto the skyway. We didn't exchange any more talk, only muteness and the sound of the road. Roland repeatedly checked the mirrors, as if he was worried we were being followed. My chest was binded as if I had awoken from a deep paralysis. The fact we were both having the same nightmarish thoughts made the rude feel like hell.

Have I already reached this point...

Where reality ends and hallucinations take over?

Has the medicine stopped working?

What will happen when I can no longer opress it? Will I lose my memory. Will I hurt someone. Will I become deformed...

Will I die.

"What's going to happen to me, Dad?" I breathed.

No answer.

He didn't even look at me.

I knew talk would get us no where. It was just repetition now, for all the years we've known my confliction, there were never enough words to explain the torment and fear of having a hidden child. Never enough pills, never enough shots, never enough drugs. It was never enough.

I felt weak.

I felt hopeless.

I felt useless.

And I didn't know the first step to fixing it.