He doesn't know why he did it.

He doesn't remember at what point he decided he just couldn't take anymore. It was while he laid there on the cold tile, for how long he couldn't say, enduring the water as it hailed down on him. It eroded him at the edges slowly, achingly, bit by bit until he wasn't him anymore. He couldn't remember who he had been before the pain. The pain was all that was left behind in that small cell, a throbbing crying mess of what once used to be a person.

There would be brief moments of reprieve where he would go numb because his body simply couldn't withstand it. It was a peculiar feeling, as if he was floating outside of his body looking down. He could sometimes fool himself into believing that this hell wasn't his but some other poor soul's. But it would never last. Soon enough he would be filled to the brim until he overflowed. He was adrift and drowning, head bobbing under, over and over again. It was then that the idea came to his mind.

It was so easy how didn't he think of it sooner?

All he had to do was surrender to it. He had to let go and let it wash away what was left inside down the drain. His vision blurred as he stared at the glassy surface of the puddle he laid in. He could use the one thing that brought him pain and save himself with it instead. All he had to do was turn his head...

So he did.

It was easy at first as his lungs still had a whisper of breath left inside of them. As the seconds ticked by however he began to feel the strain as his stomach tightened, mouth opening and filling with water where there should've be air. When the last of his oxygen dissipated, searing panic took hold. This made his legs, which he thought strength had long abandoned, spasm uncontrollably. The kicking brought even more waves of water back onto him, buffering his body and blinding him with fresh agony. He fought against the urge to turn back and pressed his face as hard as he could to the floor.

He didn't know drowning could feel so burning hot. When a desperate gasp forced him to inhale he sucked in an entire lung full. It seared his throat as it siphoned into his airways and it hurt. Hell, it hurt worse than he ever could've imagined. All of his muscles coiled as his body fought to live. He thought his mind had already gone yet his instincts kicked in, clawing against death in a mad attempt to survive.

His vision tunneled as the cell darkened around him and he knew it was finally happening. He was finally going to be free. The fire in his chest died down into a pleasant warmth as he relaxed into death's embrace. He closed his eyes for the last time and felt at peace.

                                               ***

When his eyes opened he was on his back looking up at the pale blue through a thick canopy of trees. Wispy white clouds drifted lazily across the sky. He could feel soft blades of grass against his downturned palms and tickling his skin. His lungs filled with fresh air as he inhaled deeply enjoying how the cool breeze felt against his face.

Where am I?

This place was foreign to him and yet somehow vaguely familiar. He didn't know how he'd gotten to be here or where he had been before this, a fact that should've scared him but didn't. His mind was totally calm as he shifted into a sitting position.

The place he found himself in was breathtakingly beautiful. Trees of different species shot up tall, surrounded by vibrant flowers of all colors making the air sweet with their scent. Beyond the rolling hills where he sat he could see the distant whitecap mountains piercing the sky like teeth. The sky itself was tinged in pink and blue and the sun that hung above his head gave off a warm light. It was strange that matter how long he stared at it the sun didn't hurt his eyes, allowing him to see the flares it put off, dancing in gentle yellow and orange.

He could hear something off in the distance. At first it sounded like the howl of wind or maybe even a bird call. He looked up and saw nothing flying overhead or nesting in the trees, in fact, there was no other living thing as far as his eyes could see. Then he heard it again this time much closer.

"Jongho..." A faint voice carried out over the wind and rustled through the trees. Confused he looked around trying to find the owner of the voice. All he could see around him were waving green hills and the trees with their branches creaking in the wind. He was completely alone in this haven.

A thought occurred to him then and he pressed his hand up to his chest.

He felt nothing. It was quiet where his heart should've been beating back.

Am I dead?

He'd barely finished the thought when some invisible force struck his chest and knocked him to the ground. He gazed around frantically but saw no one and nothing that could've touched him.

"Wha—" He began before being hit harder a second time. He screwed his eyes shut as he felt the air leave his lungs.

"God Jongho! Please open your eyes!" The voice was much louder this time. It was as if someone stood over him where he saw only empty air. There was a ring of familiarity to the voice that called out his name.

Wait, no no no...

Memories surfaced as he looked up at the sky that began to bend and grow bright as if the sun had exploded and filled it with blinding light. Memories of a small cold cell. Memories of the pain that laid in wait for him. The pressure was now constant and he could feel something heavy well up inside his chest before filling up his throat.

When he opened his mouth water trickled from between his lips and ran down his cheeks.

"Breathe dammit!" The voice broke. Whoever it was was now sobbing, the sound reverberated in the air around him and echoed as it was carried by the wind.

Now when he looked up he realized the sky was no longer sky but a dingy tiled ceiling, the sun replaced with a dim lightbulb. The grass beneath him withered as it was swallowed up by the darkness. The ground beneath him grew hard.

He blinked once and the world was gone...

He coughed and even more water spewed forth from his mouth. "Yes! Breathe!" A blurry figure that was hunched over him cried. As he came into focus Jongho could see the black uniform of a soldier emblazoned with gold stars. Before he could look at his face though Jongho flipped onto his side, violently coughing and gasping for breath.

He was so cold, so impossibly cold. His teeth chattered and he couldn't stop shivering. The clothes he wore were soaked through but the torrent of water that had been used on him was mercifully shut off. The stranger in the cell held him in his arms as liquid continued to bubble up from his throat.

As he came back to himself his confusion was replaced with despair as he realized he hadn't been able to escape. "How could you..." Jongho whispered feeling tears form in his eyes. The soldier lifted his head into his lap because Jongho lacked the strength to hold himself up. Suddenly he felt anger, hot and pulsing, surge through his veins.

I'm already dead! Why can't they just let me die?!

He flung a fist against the soldiers chest who didn't move to stop him. His rage grew as he seethed and so did the strength of his strikes. He'd felt so cheated that he hadn't been allowed to die on his own terms.

How dare he stop me!

He was so furious that if he was able to he would've strangled the soldier with his bare hands. "You son of a bitch! I wasn't here anymore!" Jongho's voice cracked. The soldier sat silently on his knees as Jongho hit him over and over again. Jongho's face, that had grown gaunt from torture, was twisted into a mask of fury. The two of them were alone in the cold cell, the quiet only disrupted with his hitched breathing and the thumps of his fist hitting the soldier's chest.

"Please Jongho," The stranger whispered wiping his own tears away before they could fall, his face hidden behind a shaking hand. "I'll get you out of this cell just, just please don't give up yet..."

"I was finally gone..." Jongho wailed beyond caring enough to listen. He wrapped his thin arms around himself and laid down, letting his despair overtake him. The beautiful place he had been in just moments before was now slipping through his fingers, as fleeting as a dream, and the reality he faced in its wake was warped and cruel.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." The voice of the soldier said again and again. He reached out a hand only to let it fall away before touching Jongho's trembling back.

"Help is on the way, just hang on a little longer..."

❤️AUTHOR'S NOTE❤️

First off I want to say I felt so bad writing this chapter. I came to the realization that I'm super mean to the characters and I'm so sorry!😫

I also wanted to say thank you so much for reading! As I write this I'm over 2k reads and it's crazy that so many people gave my story a chance... Thank you!

Im also sorry for leaving you guys on so many cliffhangers but I've gotta keep you coming back for more....

Don't fret though we will get back to everyone else in the next update! I'm soooo excited for the next couple chapters so I hope you'll continue on this journey with me. Have a fantastic day everyone!