FIVE

Thursday went incredibly smoothly.
Freddie was overjoyed with the idea of me having breakfast with him every morning and then taking him to the daycare.

Work was great and I could get ahead with a few cases I had been neglecting.

So, full of energy and wanting Friday to be even better than the day before, I woke up, drove to my ex house with a box of freshly made croissants and rang on the doorbell.

"Wow, second day in a row." - Brianna greeted me when she opened the door. - "Honestly, I thought you'd have given up by now."

"Told you. I want to be part of his life." - I huffed, her comment already ruining my mood. - "Today I'm planning on taking him to the park after work. I end my hours at five or so. Is that okay or do you have plans with him?" - I asked, passing by her and allowing myself in.

"To the park?"

"Yeah, I bought a new football for us to play." - I shrugged. - "Croissant?" - I asked her with a smile, opening the box in front of her and trying to get on her good side.

"I can't eat those before a session."

"Right." - I sighed. - "So, can I take him, or not?"

"Yes, sure. You'll bring him back for dinner, then?" - She asked me as she picked up her things, ready to head out.

"Yes." - I smiled.

"Alright. See you, Louis."

"Mama!" - Freddie came running towards her, hugging her legs.

"Hey, baby. Mama is leaving for work." - She knelt down to kiss his forehead. - "Your dad is taking you to school."

"Okay!" - He exclaimed, way too awake for these ungodly hours. - "Bye Mama!"

"Bye, Darling." - She waved at him as she left the house.

"Croissants?" - I asked Freddie with a smirk and he now came running towards me.

"You buy Croissants?!"

"Yes, little lad. Want one?"

"Want all of them!" - He shouted and I laughed.

"Alright, take it easy." - I said, leaving the box on the dinner table for him to grab some. - "Do you have your bag ready?"

He climbed up the chair and started eating right away.

"Mama made it. We have reading day today." - He hummed with his mouth full of food.

"Oh yeah? Do you like reading books?"

"Meh." - He shrugged. - "I like drawing. Wanna see what I draw yesterday?" - He asked me with wide eyes.

"Of course, lad. Show me." - I smiled at him, causing him to jump out of the chair and run to his room.

I heard some muffled sounds of things falling on the floor and, seconds later, he reappeared with a paper sheet, shoving it in my face.

"Look!"

"Alright." - I chuckled, grabbing the drawing in my hands and taking a look over it.

There, once again, was an image of a boy holding a little girl's hand.

The black lines of the drawing too sharp and neat, framing the bright colors inside of it. It was fully painted in Green, pink and orange, except for their eyes, which were blue.

I looked up from it only to see my son's awaiting face full of excitement.

"Little lad, who are these kids?" - I asked, already fearing his answer.

"Me and my sister, dad!"

"Freddie, son, you don't have a sister." - I said as softly as I could.

He frowned, shaking his head.

"But I will." - He pouted, crossing his arms. - "Mama said so."

"Okay..." - I mumbled, not knowing how to make him understand it won't actually happen. - "Just.." - I sighed. - "Nothing. I need to get you to school, let's get you ready."

"But did you like it?" - He asked me, hopeful.

"Of course, little lad. Loved it." - I sighed, kissing his forehead and forcing a smile.

Freddie beamed at that, taking the drawing from my hands and running back to his room.
Ten minutes later, he was back with me again, all dressed up, holding his tiny backpack and ready to leave.

We both got to the entrance of the daycare only five minutes late, having struggled to park the car somewhere close the institution, but luckily Freddie's teacher was still at the door.

"Hello teacher Harry!"

"Hello, Freddie." - He smiled at my son.

After greeting Harry with a smile and a nod, I knelt down in front of Freddie to say goodbye to him.

"Have a good day at school today, yeah?"

"Of course, Dad!"

"I'm taking you to the park after work today, okay? Wanna play some footie?"

"Yes!"

"Okay then." - I smiled at him, softly ruffling his hair. - "Hey Harry." - I said, now looking up at him and greeting him properly.

"Hello there, Louis." - Harry smiled widely at me.

And honestly, his smile was something I have never seen before in my life.

"Sorry for being late." - I said as Freddie entered the building and left me at the door facing his teacher.

"Not a problem. Some mornings are more complicated than others, yeah?" - He smiled gently. - "Hope you don't get too late to your job."

"Oh, fuck. My job." - I facepalmed myself. - "As much as I'd like to keep talking to you, Harry. I need to leave. I'm sorry."

Harry laughed.

"I need to get to work too, so." - He shrugged.

"Right. Kids." - I said, remembering he was still talking to me when he should have been inside ages ago. - "Sorry for keeping you then. Sorry for making you late too. Sorry."

"No need to apologize. It's fine." - He smiled, already closing the door. - "See you on Monday, Mr. Tomlinson."

"It's Louis."

"I know." - He shrugged. - "Have a nice day at work, Louis."

"You too."

🌈

To say that it was a rough morning at work was an understatement.

First, I got half an hour late.
Then, Attorney Gales and Attorney Casey were both bothering me non stop to get their latest contracts finished and emailed to them before lunch.
And finally, adding to the amount of work I had piled up for after those contracts, my boss came into my office with a smile on his face, showing me a new blue binder that could only mean one thing.

A Pro Bono case.

And don't get me wrong, I love those.

I love helping people that needs our services for good reasons, common people that need us to fight their battles against discrimination or hierarchy.

But today? It just wasn't the right time.
I was still overworked, behind schedule and with a lot happening inside my head that was slowing me down.

But who could say no to their boss? Even less if he comes to you with that smile, saying 'Hey Tomlinson, I know you'd like to help me with this case, is an eleven year old kid who had been accused of selling drugs. His mother needs us.' and asking you to work directly with him.

It had never happened before.

So, I couldn't say no.
Not today.

But it was still annoying.
I didn't need more cases, I just needed a break.

So, during my only break at lunchtime, I tried to focus only in the good side of things.
Of how I was going to play footie with Freddie later, of how good it was for my career to take that case with my boss, of how I was changing my habits to be a better father, of how I felt better interacting with people other than Niall.

And that line of thought immediately dragged my mind down to Harry.

How distinct he was from anyone else I've met before. How kind, well mannered, funny and endearing he was, comparing to other man. How fit he was too.

I must have called him with my mind, because a second later, a message showed up on the screen of my phone.

Hey Louis, we had reading day today and Freddie picked a football related book for me to read to the class. Then, he wouldn't stop talking about you taking him to play. I'm only telling you this because of what you told me the other day. I'm pretty sure he feels like he's connecting with you too.

I honestly had to bit back a smile as I reread over the message.
This was great news.

I'm just as excited as he is. Thank you for telling me. I'm always wondering when it comes to him.

No problem! Part of my job is to make sure these kids are growing up in a healthy and happy environment, and family is everything at their age. The fact that you're getting more involved in his life is a huge deal. And it's showing great results even if it's just been a couple of days. He seems happier.

You can't know how happy that makes me, Harry. Thank you, for real.

Stop thanking me, Louis. I love to help. Anything you need, I'll be at your disposition.

And sorry if I'm overstepping by texting you, I just knew that Freddie's mother would be the one picking him up, and I wanted you to know the effect you had on Freddie this morning.

Sorry again, Mr. Tomlinson. This is kind of inappropriate.

It's quite alright, Harry. I appreciate you texting me with this things.
Don't beat yourself up.

See you on Monday :)

Harry didn't reply after that.
I reread the entire conversation over and over again until my lunchtime ended.

It should have felt inappropriate, right?
But it's the fact that it didn't that is making me wonder.
It's the fact that I actually found myself smiling at the screen during the entire interaction that is making me overthink it all.

I was thinking about Harry before his text.
Then, I smile through our conversation.
And after that, I send him a 'see you on Monday smiley face'. Just like that.

Without thinking it twice.
I just went ahead and sent an smiley face.

And he didn't respond.

I sighed, hitting my head against the table.

"I think I screwed it up."

🌈

Teaching Freddie how to kick the football properly and seeing how he got the hold of it so quickly that he started actually making goals at the park, was probably by far my best memory with him.

He was a natural.

We spent two hours kicking the ball around and he wasn't getting tired at all.
He actually wanted to keep going after the night fell.

Though, it wouldn't happen, Brianna had asked me specifically to bring him back for dinner, much to my displeasure.

So, at seven ish, we were returning to my ex house, with an still overly excited Freddie and my body aching for a bed.

Freddie hugged his mother and ran inside the house, eager to eat dinner and watch his favorite tv show.

Brianna, wanted nothing more than to close the door in my face and get inside again after I dropped him, but I couldn't let her.
I needed to talk to her.

We shared a kid, we needed communication.

"I need to ask you something." - I said, stoping her from closing the door in my face.

"It's late. Ask me tomorrow when you pick him up again. You'll still have him on the weekend, right?"

"Of course, yeah."

"Then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"No, wait. Please, let's just talk for a second." - I begged, holding the door open.

"What?"

"You... You know Freddie wants a sister?" - I asked and Brianna frowned.

"Yes."

"And you told him you'd get him one?"

"What?"

"He told me you said that. That he'll get a sister someday."

"No. I don't want to be pregnant again. God, no." - She snorted.

"So, where is he getting those ideas from?"

"I don't know. I'm not planning on having more kids. And even less with you."

"What does that even mean?"

"Drop the subject, Louis. It won't happen."

"Wait, what? I'm not asking you to have mores kids! What made you think that? We're not even together, I wouldn't... I don't want to be with you."

She frowned, seeming unconvinced.

"Alright. With that settled, are you leaving now?"

"Look. No. I'm not leaving until we find a way to make him know he won't have a sibling. We need to be delicate about this. He is... Convinced he will have a sister. I don't want to break his heart."

"We won't say anything, he'll grow over it."

I grunted, rolling my eyes.

"What if he doesn't?"

"Then I'll handle it. Just like I've been doing for the past five years without your help."

"You don't have to! I'm really trying here. But you always leave me out of things purposely. I want to be a pillar in his life. And you're trying to take that away from me."

She laughed.
And damn she was making it really hard for me not to be annoyed at her.

"You had your fair time to be a pillar in his life. You weren't there. Don't blame this on me."

"I know, okay? I've been a shitty parent." - I blurted. - "We never planned on having him, I never understood my function in his life, or in yours for that matter. But can't you see I'm willing to change that now? That I realized I could be better? That he deserved better? I'm only asking you that from now on we talk things and try to raise him together. And please, let's stop arguing. It's exhausting."

She sighed and nodded.

"It is."

"So?" - I asked, somewhat hopeful.

"You keep being present in his life, and if you don't falter, we'll see. It's only been a week. I still don't trust you won't leave him hanging again."

"I... I guess that's fair."

"Goodnight, Louis."

"Bye." - I mumbled, watching the door being shut in front of my eyes.