You don't know what I go through.
You don't know anything about me.
You have no idea what I do
So stop pretending to.

At least once a year I feel like dying.
At least once a year I stop trying.
At least once a year
I do something for you.
At least once a year
you make me want to hurt you.
I'm not okay
At least once a year.

At least ten times a year
It hurts too much to move.
At least ten times a year
I force myself to.
At least ten times a year
I try to satisfy you.
At least ten times a year
I watch all I love leave me behind.
At least ten times a year
I cry because of who I love.
I find out that love hurts
At least ten times a year.

At least a hundred times a year
I hate me.
At least a hundred times a year
I fake what I feel to make you happy.
At least a hundred times a year
I feel all of you judging me.
At least a hundred times a year
I'm too scared to move.
At least a hundred times a year
I question who I am.
At least a hundred times a year
I can't be me.
I learn that in front of you
I can't shed a single tear
At least a hundred times a year.

You don't know what I've done for you
.You'll never understand who I am.
You won't understand the pain I feel
So don't pretend to try to.

At least once a year
I feel that I can trust you.
At least once a year
I forget to be scared.
At least once a year I don't pretend.
At least once a year
I think I have friends.
At least once a year I lose all of me.
At least once a year I lose control.
At least once a year
I learn your love isn't free.
I learn that happiness doesn't last long
At least once a year.