Tink woke up in the dark to the sound of the monitor beeping. A nurse came in and Tink felt relieved. She didn't remember having a dream but she was covered in sweat and from the nurse's panicked face she must have been doing something that was awful. She swiped her face on the pillow to clear the streaming of the tears as the nurse grabbed tissue and placed it in her free hand.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."  Tink kept repeating it over and over hoping the nurse wasn't angry at her for causing her to come in.

The nurse sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on Tink's leg. She fought the urge to yank her leg away knowing the girl was reaching out. It had been so long since anyone besides Stash had touched her. She should feel relieved or comforted but it was stifling. She felt afraid, angry, and stupid.

She tried to smile at the girl hoping it would make her leave. She felt smothered and wanted to figure out what was happening.

"I don't know what happened to you. But it's over now. You're safe. I can call someone if you'd like. Dr. Ravi, John, said I could call him anytime you need him. Should I call him for you?"

She shook her head no and burrowed under the covers waiting for the beeping to stop. She had been in the bed a long time. Her muscles ached and she felt she was going crazy. She needed out of the bed. She rolled herself in a ball and started rocking. Just her and the baby against the world. She could do this. She had survived. That's what he told her to remember.

The beeping continued and the nurse left and came in again. Tink felt a warmth race through her and a weird heavy floating feeling sit on her muscles. She knew the nurse had drugged her. She didn't mind. She probably was crazy. How could you blame someone for drugging a crazy person. She closed her eyes and slept.

In the morning someone delivered her a tray of breakfast. He was a tall skinny teenager who whistled and happily talked as he moved her table across the bed and put it in front of her. The tray held a small portion of broth and a glass of juice.

Tink smelled the broth waft up from the tray and started to reach for the spoon. As soon as she started to put the broth to her lips the memory flooded back.

She was there with Stash. She was trying to eat the soup and it came back up. He started beating her with the pan, the spoon, and then his boot. He picked her up. After that a blackness. The place that got her here.

He was sure you were dead.

Tink's stomach churned violently and her hands began to shake. She felt the world spinning and she tried to hang on to the side-rail.

The boy with the tray came back and started to help her sit back up from her slumped position and placed his hands on her shoulders.

Tink screamed a blood curling scream and everything went black.

She smelled ammonia and felt someone slapping her face. "Tink. I'm Tink!" She instinctively screamed as she opened her eyes to find herself staring into the faces of several people. They were all staring at her and examining her and she tried to hold it in but ended up vomiting all over the bed. It was bloody and warm and she couldn't handle the people staring and fingers touching and she started screaming until John ran into the room.

"Out. Everyone out!" He screamed.

The men in the white coats put their hands on their hips and pointed to the vomit. Tink knew they were saying she had to be punished. She couldn't stop screaming. A nurse came with a shot and John chased her away too.

Finally the room was empty. Just her and the shrink and a bed full of bloody vomit. She bit her arm to make herself quiet as John shut the door and dimmed the lights.

"Hope? It's John. They're all gone. You're alright now. Calm down if you can. Can you do that Hope?  Think about a time when you were safe. Can you do that?

She rocked and hummed until she conjured up a scene. She was locked in the room. Stash wasn't there and she was wadding up paper. She was making a mobile. Giraffes for the baby. It was calm and quiet and no one was there.

Slowly she uncurled herself. Tears flowed down her cheeks and the smell of the blood made her gag.

"Hope. You're doing so good. I'm going to give you a new gown. And I'm going to ask a nurse to come in and help you change. One of my favorites. She will be gentle but she's going to have to touch you."

Her hair was wet and sticky and stiff. She wanted to die. She wished she were still laying in the woods. She wished Stash had finished the job. She wished she were back in the room where things were quiet and safe.

"I know what you're doing Hope. Don't do that. This isn't your fault. You didn't ask for any of this. You were tortured Hope. Someone took you and hurt you. These people here don't know about that. They only know that you needed help. Can you understand that?  They aren't trying to make you uncomfortable.  They're trying to make you safe."

She didn't speak. She stared at the ceiling as John walked out and brought in a nurse. John and the nurse talked while she wiped up the puke, changed the gown and wiped Jade down with warm soapy cloths. She was freezing but kept staring at the ceiling while the talked about the nurse having a baby.

Tink couldn't help it, she whipped her head down to look at the nurse's stomach. "I'm having a baby too" she said.

The nurse looked her right in the eyes and Jade didn't wince.

The nurse looked at John and he kept talking about the nurse getting things ready and taking off work and how her husband felt. Tink was engrossed in the answers. She wanted to hear everything the nurse felt about being pregnant. She had hoped and wished so hard for this baby and seeing someone else pregnant was almost like a dream.

Tink put her hand on her own stomach and wondered if the kids would ever be together in a classroom. Maybe someday they would be at a birthday party together or in a school play. She couldn't imagine how amazing it would be to see her little one blushing from applause as she took a bow. Of course it would be a girl. Tink don't need an expert to tell her that. Girls were better, less dangerous and not likely to leave you for dead. And Tink wouldn't be one of those crazy moms trying to keep up, jealous of her daughter's beauty, she would bask in it.

The nurse, whose name was Sarah, finished cleaning her up and even put a braid in her hair. When she left the room Tink felt like she'd taken a piece of her with her. A connection. An unknown bind had occurred. Two women having babies, but only one strapped to the bed. She needed to make progress, she needed John to see that she could get better and get out of here before the baby came.

"So, you can speak easier now!  That's great.  Can you tell me your name?" John smiled a warm smile. Tink could picture him being a loving husband and good father. She could imagine him taking his wife to fancy dinners and dropping off his perfectly dressed children to school.

"My name is Jade.  And Tink.  And Hope."

John leaned forward closing in the space between them. "It's nice to meet you."

She sighed. "I'm not crazy. And I feel much better. How long will it be until I can leave?"

John's brows shot up in surprise. "Leave?  You've got quite a bit of work to do before you leave. The police are waiting to talk to you, you're quite a bit underweight, and you've got some rehab to do. And that's all the easy part. I was hoping we could talk a little about what happened to you."

Tink grabbed the pillow and screamed into it. "It's over isn't it? I mean what about moving on, not dwelling in the past and all that jazz?"

"Let's see."  John said as he walked over and sat on the edge of her bed.

She smiled, knowing it probably looked psychotic and weird but she held it. His hand rested just inches from hers and she felt her skin crawling to get away. It wasn't long before the monitor above the bed started singing and a new layer of sweat broke out across her face. She didn't dare move, and neither did he.

He moved his hand closer and she felt her body revolt, shaking started in her core and moved outward until it was visible.

"I'm not going to hurt you Hope. I'm just going to help you not feel what you're feeling right now. Her back to where you were before you were like this. Can you remember that time?"

Tink gasped for air as John left the bed and went back to his chair but pulled it closer to the bed.

"Of course I can. I was at home. With my parents.

"Tell me about that Hope.  Tell me about a time when life good."

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