Marahan kong idinilat ang aking mga mata at napatingin sa kisame. Naririnig ko rin ang tunog ng cardiac monitor.

I'm still alive.

"You're awake," bulong ng lalaki sa gilid ko.

Hindi ako makapagsalita. Pagod na pagod ang katawan ko dahil sa nangyari. Tumulo ang luha ko nang maalala si Joey. I should be dead, not her.

"You want to eat something?"

Malungkot ko siyang tinignan. How could he lie to me? He was protecting me from the beginning, he has no intentions of killing me. At nung nahuli ko siya sa condo, he knew that those men were planning to kill me. He was there to protect me.

"I'm gonna buy you something. Isang linggo ka ring nakahiga diyan," umalis siya at lumabas ng kwarto.

One week.

Ganun pala katagal. Pagod na pagod siguro ang katawan ko. Gusto ko nang mamatay, wala na akong rason para mabuhay. Nalaman na nila na isa akong assassin, mamatay-tao, delikado sa lipunan, at wala na si Joey sa akin. Ano pa bang rason upang mabuhay ako?

"Joey..."

Tumulo ang luha ko sa bedsheets. Hindi ko talaga mapigilang umiyak kapag si Joey na ang pinag-uusapan. I wiped my tears using my bare hands. Tinanggal ko ang mga karayom na nakatusok sa kamay at paa, pati ang oxygen tube na nakakonekta sa ilong ko. Lumabas ako at pumasok ng elevator paakyat sa rooftop.

"I should kill myself," bulong ko sa sarili. "I can be with Joey."

Binuksan ko ang pinto ng rooftop. Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papunta sa gutter. Wala akong lakas upang umakyat pero ginawa ko pa rin at tumayo nang makapatong ng maayos sa gutter.

This is not my first time feeling so empty and void. Naramdaman ko na ito noong bata pa ako pero nagbago ang lahat nang dumating si Joey. She's the only person who stood up for me when other people tried to throw sticks and rocks at me. Kaya pinangako ko sa sarili ko na poprotektahan ko siya.

Pero hindi ko nagawa.

Namatay siya dahil sa akin. Nadamay siya dahil sa katangahan ko. And now she's gone, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Nawalan na ako nang gana mabuhay. Did you ever feel this, to lose someone you really cherish, all because you're stupid? It fucking hurts. It's fucking painful!

Tatalon na sana ako nang may nagsalita sa aking likuran.

"You're really gonna jump?"

Napalingon ako dahil sa kanyang boses.

"You can do better than that, Ms. Georgia," he puffed a smoke in the air.

"Wag kang mangialam."

"Let me join you," tumalon siya at tumayo kasama ko. "I also want to die pero hindi mo ako pinatay nun."

"Leave!"

"No..." bulong niya. "I'll watch you jump. It's more entertaining that way."

My intrusive thoughts won when I pushed him back to the floor where pulled me back dahilan upang masamo ang mukha ko sa kanyang dibdib.

"Just leave me alone! Joey's gone! I have no reason to live so fuck off!" asik ko.

Itinulak ko siya palayo pero niyakap niya lang ako ng mahigpit. Inis na inis kong pinagtatampal ang kanyang matitigas na dibdib habang nagpupumiglas na parang bata.

"J-Joey is gone because of me. Joey died because of me..."

Hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na pala ako. I slumped my face on his chest at umiyak lang nang umiyak dahil sa galit, inis, at pagsisisi.

Naging ganun lang ang posisyon namin hanggang sa kumalma ako. I have no tears to cry on after that.

"Kalmado ka na ba?"

Tumango ako at naupo ng maayos sa sahig. He sits down beside me, putting his right arm on his knee. Tinitigan niya lang ako ng mabuti habang nakatitig naman ako sa malaki niyang peklat sa mukha.

"What happened to your face?"

"Swords," sagot niya at muling humithit ng sigarilyo. "Slashed by a sword during practice."

"I'm sorry about your knees."

"Don't worry about it. You saved me twice so I think we're quits," nagbuga siya ng usok sa ere.

"Sinundan mo ba ako rito?"

"Let's say that I saw a stubborn girl who walks like a leg broken cat in the hallway," he smirks.

Sinundan niya nga ako.

"Hey, stop thinking about Joey's death. I'm sure she's happy that you're alive. Nagiging guardian angel daw ang mga mahal mo sa buhay pagkatapos nilang mamatay. Maybe she's here, you just can't see her."

Those words were warm and comforting coming from the son of the woman I killed.

"I killed your mom. I'm sorry."

"Tricia? I never got the chance to meet her so I don't feel anything."

Napayuko ako saka siya napatingin sa akin.

"Let's get you back to your room, Georgia. Baka magalit si Crescent kapag nakita niyang magkasama tayo," aniya.

Tumayo ako at biglang natumba. Parang jelly ang mga paa ko, bakit ganun?

"I-I can't walk!"

Nawalan na ba ng bisa ang gamot?

"You just walked earlier!"

"Malay ko ba! Baka may tinurok silang gamot sa akin tapos nawalan ng bisa. Paano ko malalaman yun?"

Inis niyang ginulo ang kanyang buhok at binuhat ako ng walang paalam. Napahawak ako sa kanyang leeg, hindi naman siya nagreklamo.

"I'm not paid to do this," he sighed.

"Babayaran kita," irap ko.

"Shut up."

Bumaba kami ng hagdan bago sumakay ng elevator. Pinagtinginan kami ng ibang pasyente kaya nagtago ako sa kanyang dibdib dahil sa hiya. Ngumiti pa yung lola sa amin bago lumabas ng elevator. Mukha naman walang pakealam si Moonlight sa nangyayari.

Nahinto siya sa paglalakad nang makita si Crescent na nakasandal sa labas ng kwarto habang nakaekis ang dalawang braso.

"Amiel."

"Aziel."

So Crescent's real name is Aziel. That's a very nice name.

"Ibababa na kita," paalam niya.

Tumango ako at ibinaba niya ako ng dahan-dahan.

"Do you really have to carry her like a bride?" Crescent's eyebrows furrowed.

"What am I supposed to do, carry her like a sack of rice?" he sarcastically said.

Come to think of it, Crescent always carries me like a sack and Moonlight carries me like a bride.

Tinitigan ko ng masama si Crescent. Mukhang alam na niya ang ibig kong sabihin dun.

"You can do better, brother. I might steal your girl from you," ngumisi siya sa akin bago umalis.

"Asshole! In your fucking dreams, Amiel," mura nito.

Nilingon ako ni Crescent. He looks worried and teary. Pumasok ako sa silid, sumunod naman siya sa akin. I can't feel my fucking legs!

"Are you hurt?"

"Maayos ako, Crescent. Hindi naman ako napano. Konting sugat lang."

"I really thought you died!"

Hindi ako nakapagsalita nang yakapin niya ako ng mahigpit kaya't niyakap ko rin siya pabalik.

"I told you to stay close to me, little kitten. I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you back there. Pinigilan ako ni Elysian dahil yun ang utos mo sa kanya. I fought his guards alone and I was too late to travel to Hawaii because of that."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

"And how many guards are there, Crescent?"

"500."

Napalunok ako. There's no way he can beat all of them. Tito really did what I told him. He takes orders too seriously.

Napatingin ako sa yosi at naalala si Cole. I don't see him.

"Where's Cole?"

"Aranzure left for England. He accepted the job offer to work as a family doctor in a royal family, I think. I told him it's also a good idea for him to unwind after what happened and he left you a letter or something," naghanap siya sa mga drawers at ibinigay ang isang sobre sa akin.

England. I hope Cole's doing fine.

Ibinulsa ko muna ang sobre kaya't napatingin siya sa akin.

"Hindi mo ba yun babasahin?"

"If I feel like reading it then I will," I sighed. "Pero sa ngayon, gusto ko munang magpahinga at kumain."

Crescent smiled. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita nag kanyang ngiti. It's my first time seeing him smile like that.

"Bumili ako ng pagkain. Eat a lot, little kitten. You need to gain energy."

Sinubuan niya ako dahil naging jelly ulit ang mga kamay ko. He was so patient with me, ni hindi siya nagreklamo ng isang beses. Pinainom niya ako ng tubig pagkatapos kong kumain. He helped me brushed my teeth at inayos ang buhok ko na dry na dry dahil sa isang linggong hindi pagligo.

"Do I smell bad?" nahihiya kong tanong.

"No. You still smell like roses."

"Roses don't have smell."

"Exactly," he chuckles.

Namumula akong napairap dahil sa hiya. Kainis talaga ang loko na ito!

"Tell me, Crescent. You're not an assassin aren't you?"

"I was," marahan niyang sinuklayan ang buhok ko. "You haven't noticed but we were in the same Assassin Center. I was there, Georgia. But you didn't notice me."

"I don't remember."

"You don't have friends and all you think about is murder. Your dead eyes caught my attention kaya nung gumradweyt tayo, wala ka pa ring ibang nakikita. But I still love you, little kitten. I chased you all the way here when I found out that my father sent Amiel to kill you. I can't let that happen 'cause I'm in love with you. That's why the bullet you took from his legs are mine. It's from my gun when I tried to chase him."

It all makes sense now.

"But why did he take two years to come back and kill me? Hindi ko maintindihan."

"Amiel went to Philadelphia for a two-year vacation. And besides, you have Pierre. He's one of the toughest police officers in the Philippines. He doesn't know anything about what father did so he's innocent."

"No wonder Cath likes you so much, Crescent. You've been her owner first," sambit ko. "Ni hindi man lang kita nakita ng isang beses sa mansyon ni Boss Geovanni."

"I was there, little kitten. But everytime you stay there, nagtatago kami ni Amiel sa basement kasama ng mga pusa. And everytime you called father through video calls, I was in his room the whole time listening to your cute rants," he laughs.

"Hindi ka ba galit dahil pinatay ko ang ama at ina mo?"

"Not really. We are not close and besides, they've wronged you before. Tricia abused you while I was in the center my entire life. They killed your parents. Amiel didn't exist since he was abandoned by my family. Our family is messed up, Georgia. And all that's left for me is you."

Natapos niyang itali ng maayos ang buhok ko.

"We're basically siblings who fucked each other," tawa ko.

"No we're not. I made sure we're not related. You were adopted by Geovanni, your real parents are Ulyses and Georgia. We are not blood-related, little kitten," hinawi niya ang naiwang strand at inilagay iyon sa likod ng aking tenga.

"You're right," nakahinga ako ng maluwag.

Marahan niyang ipinahinga ang kanyang ulo sa aking balikat at ipinulupot ang kanyang kamay sa aking beywang. I miss this feeling. I missed back hugs from Crescent.

"But even if we're blood-related, I will still fuck you. I mean, you're hot and gorgeous so-"

"Tumahimik ka! Nakakadiri ka, Crescent!" namumula kong tinakpan ang kanyang bibig kaya napaharap ako sa kanya.

Kainis! He's too vulgar! Nakakaloka!

"Lumingon ka rin sa wakas," ngiti niya at hinalikan ako ng mariin sa labi.

"What was that for?"

"I missed you. Isang linggo ka ring hindi nagising. I waited, and will wait even if it takes 10 years for you to wake up," he said and kissed me again.

Napakagat ako at napatingin sa kanyang labi. Ang gwapo niya talaga kahit kailan.

"I have to ask you something," biglang sumeryoso ang kanyang boses.

"Ano yun?"

Tumayo siya at may kinuhang box sa kanyang bulsa. My heart's beating so fast. Is this what I think it is?

"Georgia Yamaguchi, I know you're occupied and overwhelmed but I'll take this opportunity to propose to you," he slowly opens the box for me, revealing a huge diamond ring. "Let's spend the rest of our lives together."

"No..."

"No?" taas kilay niyang tanong.

"No way!" I exclaimed. "Yes! Yes, I will spend my eternity with you, Crescent!"

He puts the ring on my fourth finger before kissing my lips softly.

"Call me, Aziel. My real name is Aziel Sicillian."

"So I'm still Georgia Sicillian, then," I chuckled.

"I love you so damn much, Georgia."

"Mahal na mahal din kita, Aziel."

And he kissed me deeper.

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