CHAPTER ONE;
a lot of tears

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Everything was falling apart and Camila was closer and closer to the moment she wouldn't be able to hide anymore. She'd have to move away. She'd have to leave him.

The moon was bright in the sky, the night blanketing over the village. Camila had slipped away from it, venturing into the woods to the falls, needing a moment of peace. There, she didn't have to worry about her sister playing with the two brothers, her baby nephew for whom she was mostly responsible, or the fact that Esther kept watching her like a hawk—just waiting for her to slip up.

The sound of a twig snapping made her look back.

Kol halted in his steps towards her, offering a small smile, his sharp eyes softer than usual. He had a way of reading her like a book. He always knew if she was troubled, even if he didn't know why. It was one of the reasons she loved him.

Camila sat down on a fallen bark and Kol followed her lead, sitting beside her, their arms pressed together. Quiet settled between them.

"You're too quiet," she whispered into the silence, her voice strained. "It's weird."

"I can be quiet. Just doesn't happen often." Kol gave a half-smile and gently nudged her shoulder. Camila only nodded, making him frown at the lack of retort. "What's the matter, love?"

Her fingers fiddled with a loose thread on her sleeve. "Your mother despises me."

He let out a chuckle making her scowl. He only rolled his eyes. "I don't care. I love you."

"She'll never accept us." She looked up at him, helplessly. "No one will. Not with my sister messing with your brothers. Not with everything I don't have. Or do have for that matter. Not with the fact you're set to marry—"

Kol cut her off with a kiss. His lips were soft against hers, gentle even. Camila sighed against him and raised her hand to cup his jaw, bringing him closer. He was like the sun to her, a moment with him made all the shadows fall behind. It was intoxicating. Kol pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers, his hand reaching up to hers.

"My siblings adore you, Mila. And my parents can go fuck themselves if they truly believe I'll accept whatever girl they throw my way. Even if I weren't in love with you like a helpless fool, it wouldn't happen." Camila giggled and Kol smiled. He raised her hand to his lips, kissing her wrist. "We can leave. Start a life for ourselves."

Camila smiled. "Where would we go?"

"I'll go anywhere if I can be with you." He leaned in to kiss her once more. "No matter what, you're not alone anymore, Mila. You've got me. For better or worse."

"Definitely worse," she whispered, making him scoff.

With a shaky laugh, Camila let him pull her closer, tucking her against him. Kol pressed a light kiss to the top of her head, his voice falling into a sweet murmur. "I've got you, love."

Not long after the words "Nathan's dead" had slipped past her lips, Camila had come crashing down, exhaustion sweeping her off her feet. Later she woke up crying into her pillow. Trying to grasp and claw at the warmth of her dream, the feel of Kol's arms around her.

This dream was different. If it had been any other day she would've pondered about her feelings and thoughts in the matter. Why Kol's mother hated her, why her sister had a son, who Kol's brothers were, and why everything was falling apart. But it wasn't any other day.

And that day, Camila just wanted Kol. She wanted him to hold her, to pick her heart up and fix it, to tell her everything would be alright even where everything was crumbling.

She cried in despair against her pillow, a scream bubbling in her throat as his words echoed in her mind.

"I've got you love."

But Kol wasn't there.

Nathan was gone.

Caroline was in the hospital.

And Camila felt like she was dying.

Her heart had been ripped from her chest and the only person who could fix it was dead, and a thousand years in the past.

She gave herself the time to cry until no more tears came. Until her throat was raw with her sobs, and her body had given up into a trembling mess. And then she gingerly stood up from her bed, noticing Elena had probably changed her out of her blood-stained clothes.

She also remembered Elena telling her Katherine had come into their house and cut John's fingers off. Camila didn't care. She didn't care that Katherine was in town. Not when the latter had tried to help her save Nathan. And what did she care about John's fucking fingers?

It was early in the morning, and the house was quiet, which allowed Camila to get ready and sneak away. She got in the car and without another thought drove to the hospital. Nathan was gone, she'd lost one of her best friends already. She wouldn't allow Caroline to go too. Camila needed to see if she was fine.

Walking inside the hospital, it didn't take her long before she found Caroline's mother. The Sheriff was sitting on a rackety hospital chair, a cup of coffee in her hands and a look of pure exhaustion on her face. As soon as she heard footsteps her way, Liz blinked up at Camila.

"Hi, Liz," Camila greeted, her voice scratchy.

The woman didn't waste a second before standing up and hugging Camila tightly. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry."

"How is she?" was all she could say. Otherwise, she'd break down in the Sheriff's arms.

Liz pulled away from Camila, just as Matt showed up around the corner, a pack of gummies in his hand—Camila hoped they were for Caroline, that she was healthy enough to eat them.

"She's healthy, they don't know what changed," Liz said quietly, "But she'll be fine."

Camila breathed a sigh of relief, nodding as she sniffed away a tear. "That's good."

Matt cleared his throat, and Camila noticed his tear-rimmed eyes. "We still haven't told her... About Nate."

Liz sighed heavily, her hand rubbing Camila's eyes as if readying her for more bad news.

"We called his parents," she informed Camila, "With the deputy that shot him dead... Well, they insisted the... body should go to New York, their family has a plot there. In the cemetery. They're already planning on selling the house. They're moving."

Camila frowned, confusion plaguing her. "What about Nathan's things? What about his funeral? What... He can't go. He's... He's not even—" cold yet, she was going to say but her voice cracked, and her words failed her.

"They said you could eventually go through his things. But they hired a moving company, they refuse to come here—"

"What? What the fuck is wrong with them?" Camila's breathing was shaky, as she looked between Matt and Liz in bewilderment. It was like a fever dream. "Their son is dead! Nathan's dead. And they can't even come here! He died last night, how... What about his funeral—"

"Honey—"

Camila shook her head, grabbing the Sheriff's hand in a pleading. "Liz, you have to call them—You have to tell them—Nathan's—He deserves to have them come here. He deserves everything, why aren't they here—Why—Oh God—I think I might be sick—"

Camila rushed over to the nearest bin and threw up. She felt Liz's hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly as Camila began crying again. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she fell against the wall, her body racked with sobs.

"He's gone," she cried.

Matt knelt beside her, tucking him against him in a hug and it all felt wrong. Even more so than it did with Nathan. And all Camila could think about was that at the moment, the only person she wanted there to comfort her was Kol. She was fucking insane. And he was fucking dead. Him. Nathan. Everyone kept dying on her.

And it was all her fault.

"How about I take you home, Cami?" Matt asked in a whisper.

Camila shook her head, looking up at Liz, as she wiped her tears away. "I need to see Caroline. She needs to know."

Liz sighed heavily, before nodding. "Come on, Camila."

By the time Camila found the courage to leave the hospital and Caroline, she did the only thing she could think of. She kept herself busy.

And so she headed to the Lockwoods. The Mayor had died last night. Tyler had been driving when they had the accident. And Nathan had been one of Tyler's best friends. She figured the least she could do was give Tyler her condolences.

She drove there with music blasting in her car, trying to scare away her thoughts. Camila got out of the car and walked up the steps to the Lockwood house. Her eyes met Tyler's instantly, as he stood by the entrance thanking people for coming.

He tried to smile at her. It looked more like a frown than anything. Without another thought, Camila ran into his arms and Tyler hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry about your dad, Ty," she told him.

"Thank you," he whispered. He sniffed as he pulled away. "I'm sorry about... Nate."

Nodding, Camila wiped away her tears. She couldn't stop crying. "His parents are holding his funeral in New York. They're packing up."

"Fuck." Tyler grimaced. "That's it?"

Shrugging, Camila hugged her arms around herself. "Sheriff Forbes said we could pass by his house. Gather some of his things to keep. I think his parents are just going to hire movers."

"Do you want to go?"

Camila nodded. "I think we should. For Nate."

"For Nate." Sighing, Tyler gestured inside. "Want a drink? Most people are already here and I'm tired of saying thank you."

They both ended up in the Mayor's office in complete silence, drinking from a flask Tyler found. Tyler didn't seem to want to talk about anything, and Camila surely didn't, so they just sat there, passing along the flask as they let the alcohol take away their sorrows. Or at least pretended it was doing anything.

That was until Jeremy stumbled upon the office. "Sorry, I was looking for the—Cami?"

"Bathroom is down the hall," Tyler said instead of a greeting.

Camila only smiled at Jeremy, before taking another sip of the flask and passing it to Tyler. Jeremy looked like he was about to say something to her, probably to comfort her, but thought better of it and instead turned to Tyler.

"Hey look, I'm sorry about your dad."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Today has been a big day of sorrys from people who really don't give a fuck."

"He means it, asshole," Camila told Tyler, grimacing when her voice sounded raspy. She'd cried so much since the night before her throat was sore.

"I remember when our dad died," Jeremy told Tyler, his voice genuine, "We had a house full of strangers telling us what a great guy he was. Anyway, I know how hard all this is."

"The difference is in your case it was true," said Tyler, glancing at both Gilbert siblings. "My dad was a dick."

Jeremy snorted. "Yeah, yeah he was."

Camila let out a soft laugh, surprising herself. Tyler's lips quirked up. He looked down at the flask in his hands and after looking at Camila in approval, he passed it to Jeremy. "I found this in his desk."

Jeremy hesitated, glancing at Camila for approval too. She shrugged just as Tyler added:

"He won't mind, he's dead."

"Yeah, you know what, sure." Jeremy took the flask. "Why not?"

He was about to take a sip when, the last person Camila expected to see, walked through the door. She hadn't seen Tyler's uncle since she was ten, and there he was looking at them like he'd caught them in the act. Camila could've rolled her eyes, she'd caught him once in Tyler's house smoking pot with his friends—Aunt Jenna included.

"Hey, what's going on in here Tyler?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Mason stared at Jeremy, motioning for the flask. "You have somewhere else to be?"

Jeremy awkwardly left, sending a frown Camila's way when she stayed rooted. She didn't care, not even when Mason looked at her expectantly.

"I'm not leaving. Ty and I were hanging out." She smiled flatly. "Nice to see you too, Uncle Mason."

"Is that... Camila?" Mason looked surprised at seeing her and Tyler shared an amused look with her.

"In the flesh. Now hand that over please," she asked, holding out a hand for the flask. When he didn't move, Camila said flatly, "My boyfriend just died last night, don't make me fight you for the alcohol."

Mason passed the flask, looking weirdly at Tyler, whose whole demeanour had darkened slightly.

"Dad wasn't the only one who was caught up in whatever happened," he told Mason somberly. "Nathan, our friend, he was shot by a deputy."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck."

She took another swing at the flask.

The moment Camila was dangerously close to a blackout, Tyler, of all people (Mason had left them alone after a while), had taken responsibility for the situation and carried her downstairs, just as Elena was about to leave.

Camila was quiet the whole ride, her stomach in knots, her vision blurry. She ignored Elena until her sister finally took the hint and gave up on trying to get her to talk. And the moment they got home Camila rushed to her room and locked herself in.

Just like she'd done a hundred times, she broke down crying.

Riffling through her sketchbooks, she grabbed a pencil, found an empty page, and started sketching. She tried to remember every detail of Nathan's face, the memory of him seeming to slip away between her fingers when only yesterday she'd seen him.

He'd been heartbroken. They were going to be friends again. She was going to let him go, to start being the friend she should've been so he could live the life he deserved. He had it all in front of him. He would fall in love properly and be with a girl who deserved him. Someone who wouldn't drag him into the fuckery that was the supernatural world.

And then, they took him away.

Camila sketched him until her hand began cramping. She didn't deserve him, she didn't deserve to be in shambles because he was gone. He didn't deserve to be gone. And the only way she could think of bringing him back was with her pencil. She drew him smiling. She sketched him laughing. Sleeping. Sad. Angry. Dead.

Her hand trembled as she found herself looking at his empty eyes, and Camila slammed the sketchbook shut before throwing it at the wall. Aggressively, she wiped away her tears, trying to keep herself from screaming out her frustration.

Her window opened suddenly and Camila was startled. Looking to the side from where she sat on her bed to see Katherine, standing there, smiling. "Hi."

"What are you doing here?" Camila croaked, flattening her messy hair as Katherine's keen eyes followed her every move.

Instead of answering, she said, "You didn't tell anyone you saw me."

Camila shook her head. "I had other things to worry about."

If she wasn't looking so closely she would've missed the way Katherine winced. "I'm sorry about your boyfriend, Camila Gilbert."

"Ex. We broke up." She swallowed, not knowing why she was telling Katherine, of all people when she hadn't even said anything to Caroline. "Right before... You know."

Katherine nodded, her lips pulled to the side. But otherwise, she didn't answer.

"What are you doing here?" Camila asked again.

Shrugging, Katherine pulled her desk chair up and sat down. "I wanted to check in on you. You had a rough night."

"Oh." Camila sniffed, trying to pull herself together. "I hear you've been terrorizing the Salvatores."

"So?"

Camila hesitated. "You're being nice to me. Civil."

"I like you. Isobel told me about you, I figured I should get to know you."

"You called me Mila."

Katherine faltered slightly, before smirking as she stood up again. "Look, Camila Gilbert, I can't tell you anything. Only that, I'm sorry for any actions of mine that might inflict pain on you. Trust that it isn't personal. I wouldn't hurt you."

Why not? Camila thought. And somehow, she knew the answer.

"Katerina."

Katherine, who'd been walking toward the window again, froze at the name. The stiffness in her posture was enough confirmation for Camila. Katherine was the same girl from her dreams. She'd been her sister once.

Katherine turned around, looking at her, and if she didn't know better, Camila would've sworn her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. "You remember?"

Camila softly shook her head, pressing her lips together, noticing how chapped they were. "Some. I've been having dreams... Memories are coming back."

"I don't know what you remember, Mila," Katherine said, her voice low, and she walked towards her, "But I've changed. Five hundred years do that to a person. Not even you can stop me from doing what I came here to accomplish."

Katherine reached a hand to her face, softly cupping her cheek, looking at Camila like she wanted to be the person she remembered. But then she only smiled sadly, taking her hand away. "I'm sorry I couldn't save Nathan for you."

Camila blinked and she was gone.

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