https://youtu.be/989srijf4OA

"Welcome to my world that's painted with sadness
There's no light of sun
There you can't hear any sound at all
Here, I am waiting silently for you, Father
Why were you so cruel? Why'd you leave Mary alone?  

Please take me away
I desperately promise to be a good girl, to be worthy of your love 

I don't need the paint books, the dolls, and the dresses
Just tell me why you've left your pictures and gone? 

Who are you stranger with the red rose in your hand? 
I liked you from the first sight
I wanna be your friend
Let's play
I've never asked for this place that's called my home
But hope you will be staying with me until the end

Please don't be scared of me
I'm a good girl
I just want to be with you to forget my sorrow
I'm tired of being the puppet of this world
Oh, tell me why do you want to go with this man? 

Is he your true knight in the shining armor
Who'll sacrifice himself just for your sake with no fear 
But then, why does he look like the one who created this gallery of picture, that what gave me my birth? 

My tears are falling
Why is it so painful? 
I did nothing wrong, so why do you hate me so much? 
This burning canvas became your cruel answer
And now flames unsparingly kiss me goodnight 

Welcome to her world that's lying in ashes
There's sea of fire
There is no way to run at all
She only wanted to be with her father
But little Mary's melting in her abyss alone" 

I sing to myself while playing chess until I am interrupted by Ciel. "This is where you have been, Jane." He says to me as he walked into the game room. 

"Ciel." I say his name in a greeting manner. "Are you finished with your work?" I ask. 

"I am. Were you singing that song just now? It's very beautiful, but it has a meaning to it, doesn't it?" 

"It does." I nod my head. "I came up with that song a long time ago when I was in the black market. Probably when I was still a child." I answer him before turning my head back to the chessboard. "Would you like to play chess with me?" 

"Sure." Ciel takes a seat at the small table I am sitting at as I set up the game. "How did you learn how to play chess?" 

"From my friend, James." 

"Was he also in the black market?" 

"Yes. But, we didn't exactly play the game of chess that had a board and chess pieces. We used the dirt to draw the board and drew in the dirt of the pieces. We would draw the pieces into each square to indicate where we had moved the chess pieces." 

"Interesting. And this friend of yours, James, is he the same age as you?" 

"No. He is a lot older than I am. Probably 17 or 18. So, 4-5 years older than me. He was the first person who spoke to me and was kind to me when I first arrived into the black market. Wherever he is, I hope he is doing alright... And I win, by the way. Checkmate." 

The look on Ciel's face was filled with shock at the fact that I beat him in chess. "You're really good at this. Have you played this your whole life?" 

"Yes. Well, every time I was in the tiny cage. Chess became my favorite game. James and I would play tic-tac-toe, rock paper scissors, or checkers. All of these games were played in the dirt. James always found a way to have me forget about my worries." 

"You miss him, don't you?" 

"I do." I nod my head. "The doctor is coming back today to check on me, isn't he?" I ask. 

"Yes. He wants to make sure that you're taking your medication and wants to know the progress of your recovery." Ever since Ciel hired a doctor to come check on me, I've been in physical therapy in order to get better. I've been pushing myself this whole time in order to get around. 

"Do you think we can go out into town today and buy something sweet after my session with the doctor?"

"Of course. But before we can do that, the doctor and you have your therapy lesson." 

"Who is this Doctor again?" I look up at him. 

"Dr. Bennet. He's one of the greatest doctors in all of London. He'll be speaking with you about your time in the black market during your therapy session. I informed him about the murders that you created, but everything was taken down. The charges of murders, I mean." 

"You make it sound like I should be checked into a psychiatric ward." I mutter while sweat-dropping. "Will you be there to support me, wont' you, Ciel?" I asked. It would be a lot better if someone were to be by my side during all of this. Without James, I feel lonely. 

"I will be with you every step of the way." Ciel gently places his hand on top of me while giving me a gentle smile, having me smile back at him. 

Later that day, after the doctor came by and spoke with me about my healthy and did physical therapy. Dr. Bennet is an attractive man who looks like he's in his late 20's. He's the doctor who's been coming by the house and prescribing the medication to me.

"Hello again, Miss Jane. How are you doing today?" Dr. Bennet asks me. 

"I'm doing well today. Thank you." I reply.  Ciel leads us to the living room for him, Dr. Bennet, and I to talk about my past in the black market, and my activities up until now. Including the murders I committed. 

"I see. So you were sold to the black market by your parents and had been passed down from owner to owner. But, you were always returned back to the black market for misbehavior. You were severely punished and brought into this special room. You poor dear. And this has been going on for your entire life, hasn't it?" Dr. Bennet process the entire story we've been talking about for the past week.

"Yes..." I nod my head.

"How did that make you feel when you were in the black market?" 

"I felt the same way like everyone else who was in the black market. I was scared... Neither of us knew what was coming to us while we were in those cages..." I frown. 

"Did you have nightmares about your previous masters?" 

"Every night. It was hard for me to sleep. But the pills you have prescribed to me have been helping me. I've been able to sleep soundly." 

"I'm glad." Dr. Bennet smiles at me. "Now, let us return to the recent master. The first victim you murdered. Richard Williams. You said he used you in various ways. How did he use you? What procedures did you go through, Jane?" 

"Well... When I first came into the house, Richard told me that from now on I was he maid. Cooking and cleaning seemed okay because at least I had something to do. At least... That's what I thought I would be doing most of the time..." 

"What did he do?" 

"He...would touch me in places that I didn't want to be touched... I asked him what he was doing, but he told me to be quiet and to sit still. He seemed angry, so I guess he wanted to take his anger out on me. But, in a sexual way..." 

"He raped you." Dr. Bennet stated. 

"Many times, and his wife didn't seem to care. She would sit there and watch... And whenever I refused for him to touch me, he would hit me... He hit me so hard that I heard a ringing in my ear. He would beat me until I would go numb... Please, Master! What did I do!? Please stop! It hurts! I won't do it again! I'll behave! I'll be good!" My eyes suddenly widened as I began to experience trauma. 

"Miss Jane." Dr. Bennet calls out my name and I feel a hand being placed over mine, snapping me back to my sense. 

"It's okay, Jane." Ciel comforts me with his hand over mine.

"I'm sorry..." I hang my head while sighing. 

"It's alright. Just a minor episode. Just breathe and remain calm. Take it slow."

"Okay..." 

"Now then. The night you killed Richard Williams, what were you feeling at the time?" 

"Anger and love." 

"Why love?" 

"Because when I approached him... I felt like I was in love... When I saw him lying in bed, I instantly remembered what he would do to me in the middle of the day, the middle of the night, or when his wife wasn't around~" My hair shades my eyes as a blush spreads it's way onto my face while wickedly smiling and giggling. "Just the touch of his hands all over my body was enough to get me excited... But," I suddenly glare. "Anger took over again and I lost control of myself. I didn't realize what I was doing..." 

"So you blacked out." 

"I think so." I nod. 

"I see. Well, that's all the time we have for today. I'll come again tomorrow at the same time. Take the pills I prescribed to you and try to do something that you enjoy doing to keep your mind off your masters." 

"Yes, sir." I nod my head.

"Good girl." Dr. Bennet smiles. "Miss Jane. Earl Phantomhive. Have a good day. I will see myself out." 

"Thank you, Doctor." Ciel stands up from the couch and nods his head to the doctor as Dr. Bennet leaves. 

Talking about my past is scary and hard enough for me. Just remembering those times gives me chills. The only thing I can do is take Dr. Bennet's advice. But, what activities should I do to keep my mind off? 

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