[E D I T E D]

KILL YOUR MIND
❝life is simply a mix of mayhem and magnolias, so embrace this gentle riot and gather flowers along the way.❞

13. Fatal Foreshadowing

IT HAD HIT THE THREE-MONTH MARK, when the Avengers Tower was finally open to the public again. Katherine had continued to be missing, not even SHIELD had managed to find her location, and so Elizabeth had eventually asked Tony for a helping hand. The man had agreed, understanding the importance that the child held to Elizabeth, but both had to wait an evening for Jarvis to scan the national CCTV footage. Tony Stark missed his parties. It had been a miracle that the billionaire had refrained from hosting one the day Elizabeth arrived so no one, in their right mind, had the restraint to deny Tony's plans. They couldn't even if they had intended to. He'd planned it an hour in advance, much like the man usually does, and had quickly notified his colleagues of this as people began to show up. He'd been smart about it. He knew that the Avengers couldn't cause a scene about his extravagant party when people around them could hear. So, no one could say much about it.

Steve was hectic. He was unimpressed by the whole idea and was uncertain on Elizabeth being invited. Of course, Tony had invited the girl. She was his favourite out of them all and it would be a shame not to have her there with him but Steve didn't see it that way. In Steve's eyes, inviting Elizabeth Tyler was a risk to the public. He trusted the girl to a certain extent. He knew she wouldn't try to attack anyone in the Tower who she knew but they'd yet to see how she socialised around new people. With her history, Steve knew from first-hand experience that hurting someone could be very easy when you don't know who they were. As usual, he'd gone to Natasha Romanoff for support.

Natasha, however, was calm about the whole situation, much unlike Steve, and she actually seemed to enjoy the idea of a night off. She trusted her strength and capabilities to be able to incapacitate a teenage girl so didn't see the problem with letting her roam around and meet new people as long as someone was by her side at all times. Tony had blanched at this, arguing that Elizabeth should be allowed some time to herself where she can socialise without restrictions, but Steve refused to be moved from the girl's side. Thor had gone to Asgard the week previous, stating he must speak to Odin about current news, and hadn't returned, so the Tower only had Tony, Steve and Natasha to fight back Elizabeth if things went south as Clint was on a mission and Bruce was at a New Orleans science convention. This put Steve on edge even more.

But the time came where they had to show their faces. Natasha had gone to collect Elizabeth, volunteering immediately, and Tony had swanned off to get a drink so Steve continued to awkwardly stand by the bar.

Elizabeth hadn't expected to be invited. In all honesty, she'd heard about the plans but hadn't really given it much thought. She'd heard them arguing over if she should be allowed out and, after hearing only Tony stand up for her, assumed that they'd come to a negative conclusion. This was why when Natasha knocked on her door, she was still in her jogging bottoms and Shield issued tank top. Her room was a mess, as well. She'd been reading the whole evening but was finding it difficult to actually find a book she enjoyed so her floor was covered in discarded novels. Natasha simply raised an eyebrow at the mess, both the condition of herself and the room, and sighed impatiently.

Elizabeth just raised an eyebrow, as well, in question and shrugged her shoulders.

❝Are you coming to Stark's party like that?❞

She droned, looking thoroughly bored with the conversation, and began to pick at her nails.

❝I-I didn't think I was invited.❞

Elizabeth blanched. Natasha just snorted in amusement, somehow making it sound feminine, and sighed heavily.

❝Okay, fine! But I don't have anything to wear.❞

Elizabeth retaliates.

❝Well none of my clothes would fit you.❞

Natasha hums, now giving Elizabeth her undivided attention. It was uncomfortable, having the scariest assassin known to earth staring at you impatiently. She begins to drum her fingernails on the frame of the doors arch and Elizabeth begins to get aggravated.

❝I'm not that fat.❞

The elder female simply laughs, it's a real one this time, and Elizabeth can't help but feel happy at being the one to evoke the sound. Natasha Romanoff laughs, sure, but she never properly laughs. She never laughs without sarcasm or iciness. The young girl unconsciously smiles as well.

❝That's not what I meant and you know it. You just lack a few womanly assets.❞

She smirks as Elizabeth lets out a sound of disbelief.

❝Hey! Look, okay, I was promised that I'd be a woman when my uterus started working!❞

Elizabeth laughs but is only met by a resounding silence. Natasha doesn't have a playful look about her anymore. Instead, she is silent and glaring at the ground. There's a long pause where the younger out of the two doesn't know what to do. Elizabeth doesn't know what she'd said that could have caused such a large offence, but she knows that it was her who ruined the moment they were having.

❝Just get ready. I'll be outside.❞

Elizabeth had gotten ready as quickly as possible. She really didn't want to piss Natasha off even more than she already had so she'd quickly thrown on a fresher top and a pair of fitted trousers. Her hair wasn't willing to comply so it'd been quickly smoothed back into a ponytail and then Elizabeth was ready to leave.

Just as she had said, Natasha was waiting outside her door patiently and began to walk off just as Elizabeth had opened the door.

They'd walked to the area in which the party had started and promptly separated. Where Natasha had stood, Steve replaced her and smiled at Elizabeth.

The party was fun. That was one word to put it. Everyone around them seemed to be having the time of their lives; socialising, drinking, laughing and dancing. Even Steve seemed to be having a good time, who had originally stayed away from everyone, but Elizabeth just couldn't get into it. Perhaps she just wasn't a social creature, preferring to stay in her comfort zone of her room, but the girl was simply feeling awkward rather than excited.

❝Parties not your thing, then?❞

Elizabeth just smiles up at Steve. She'd stayed by his side as he conversed with others, smiling politely at the correct times, and the pair had finally gotten some time alone to speak to each other. She'd been given a drink by Tony, one that smelt strongly of whisky and had been promptly taken out of her hands by Steve, and was replaced by something non-alcoholic earlier in the evening but she'd still not finished it.

Taking a sip of her drink, she hums in agreement. It was exhausting talking to people. Elizabeth looked over at Tony and catches a glimpse of him talking to a group of people. He looked completely in his zone.

❝People aren't really my thing.❞

The super solider just laughs, agreeing with the young girl, and takes a long drink from his glass.

There was a comfortable silence between the two. Or at least, it was comfortable for Elizabeth. Yet, as she peeked over the man, he had the same haunted look in his eyes as he always did when talking about his friend 'Bucky'. He got that look sometimes. Elizabeth mostly ignored it. It was just a look that screamed 'lost'. It was a look that screamed 'unhappy' and Elizabeth usually didn't bring it up. As she sipped her drink, watching as Steve stares at the crowds in front of them with that same look, she couldn't help but open her mouth.

❝Are you okay?❞

Steve seems to snap out of his thoughts, instantly smiling at Elizabeth, and nods his head.

❝Perfect.❞

They stare at each other for a while before Elizabeth lets out a sigh.

❝You know I'm not stupid, yeah? I know when someone's alright and when someone's not. It's not a sin to admit defeat, Steve. Even the big, bold Captain America has to accept help sometimes.❞

Steve hesitates for a moment.

❝It's just not the same as the 40s, you know?❞

Elizabeth hums in understanding. The blonde man looks down at her in slight surprise. Steve was one of a kind. A man out of time, as Loki had so finely put it, and that meant that he was very much alone with his feelings. No one else could truly relate. People could try to understand. They could pretend that they knew what he was talking about but, when it really came down to it, no one could help Steve aside from himself.

❝I know it isn't the same, but those years that I spent as a hostage might as well have thrown me onto a different planet. I mean, I got so accustomed to the darkness, and the clogged air that always smelt of piss, and the disassociation. Bruce taught me that word. It's where you feel like you're not in your own body anymore, or something, I don't know. I'm not an expert. Anyways, it wasn't fun, I'll tell you, but it was familiar to me. In a really twisted way it's home, it's a way of life that I know I can do, and now I'm here and I know I should be so relieved that I'm in a better place but sometimes-❞

❝You wish you were still there?❞

Steve asks, hopeful in a way, and Elizabeth only nods in return.

❝Everyone I once knew is gone and sometimes, when I wake up and just know the day is going to be bad, there is always that sick part of me that wishes for the simplicity to return. When I was in that room, nothing else mattered apart from survival, each day was just a blur, but I think that the scariest part of getting better is accepting the changes in your life, Steve. It's okay to want to go back to the war, you know that, right? It's just your brain wanting to take the easiest path and sometimes even the most physically draining routes are the least mentally exhausting. It's nothing to be ashamed of.❞

Steve nods quickly, looking down at his glass in what could only be described as shame, and looks back up to the crowd.

❝I'm just scared I'll feel like this forever.❞

That hit too close to home for Elizabeth. Steve was still refusing to meet her eye, the pad of his thumb lightly tracing along the rim of his whiskey tumbler, and Elizabeth couldn't bring herself to feel pity for the man. They were both so frightfully different yet so awfully similar. Elizabeth couldn't even begin to compare her strife with Steve's losses but it was the only way she knew how to make him feel less alone.

❝You won't.❞

Steve wasn't too sure about it but the sureness of the young girl's tone made it hard to refute so the pair didn't continue the conversation after that. They simply went and stood alongside Tony for the rest of the night and laughed at the appropriate times.

It was strange for Steve after that. For, every time he looked down at Elizabeth, he no longer saw the girl he once believed her to be. Instead, he saw eyes far too old for the body they were part of, and it made Steve feel slightly less alone.

It made Steve slightly less like he didn't belong in this world.

The party ended shortly after three in the morning but Elizabeth was wide awake, just as were most of the Avengers, so even after everyone left, they stayed sat telling stories to one another.

They were all at home with each other, even if it were just for a little while.

It was such a shame that Elizabeth wouldn't be staying for very much longer.

Elizabeth supposed that if she knew how much she'd influenced the people around her, she might have stayed. Because, when she left, she didn't realise how much they had begun to depend on her. She didn't realise how many months, Tony Stark would spend searching for her, or how many drinks he'd down because of her, or how many nights he'd spend awake in his lab missing her presence. She didn't realise how many times Steve would shut himself away because of her, or how many conversations he'd refuse to have because she left.

She just didn't realise how much the Avengers had started to accept her.

Then again, even if she had realised, she wasn't 100% sure that she wouldn't have gone.