Song: Inner Demos By Julia Brennan

Once he is gone I go to the bedroom and I lay on the bed. I toss and turn and before I know it I am pacing the floor, back and forth...back and forth. I look up in the far corner and I see spiders creeping down the wall...not just one but so many that I can't count them in time. I blink and they are gone.

But when I turn to walk again I see them on the other wall...I know if I move in that direction they are bound to jump on me. I know they will. "Go away." I say out loud...as if they can even hear me. But when I blink a few more times they are gone.

I hear a deep voice behind me and when I turn nothing is there. I have to remind myself to breath so that I don't pass out or lose my mind. I keep telling myself that nothing is real...this is not real it's only my mind playing tricks on me.

But then the voice comes again. "You stupid girl...you think he cares for you...he left you he isn't coming back."

I turn to look behind me again, but nothing is there. "Yes he will...he will be back. He said he was going for a walk...he will be back."

He bellows, "Stupid little girl...why would he want you...you are nobody...you are weak...sick...stupid...get real here."

"Go away." I yell into thin air. I know he is there however I just can't see him.

 I leave the room and go to the bathroom. Of course he has to follow me. When I look in the mirror I see a black shadow behind me but when I turn around it is gone. I close my eyes for a few seconds telling myself this is all in my head...it's not real...it's not real. I breathe out...my trembling hands find my head and I try to push in on both sides to take away the pressure...the freaking thoughts running in my head. I hate when the voices come like this...

"Do it...just do it...you don't like me talking to you...you want me to stop...bang your head against the mirror...it won't hurt...it will get rid of me." His voice is somewhat calm...but deep almost like a father scolding his child.

I shake my head no... "No...go away...just leave me alone." I look up into the mirror, hoping to get another glance at him.

"Do it and I will leave you alone...go on I dare you to do it." He gets louder and louder so loud that my head feels like he is stabbing me over and over and it's about to explode.

 I keep shaking my head and before I know what the hell I am doing I am banging my head against the mirror. It didn't hurt the first time or the next time I banged it...so I kept doing it over and over until I crack the mirror along with my forehead. I look up and see blood all over the mirror...all over me, running down my face. No not again...this can't be happening...

I walk backwards toward the tub, stepping in and then crouching into the far corner. I get into a fetal position to rock myself back and forth...I start to hum... "hmmmmm....mmmmm.....mmmm..."

I believe I passed out because when I wake up its pitch dark in the room. I stumble out of the tub and make my way to the hallway. Every room is pitch black and Kade is nowhere to be found. I find the candle and use the matches beside it to light it.

I walk through the cabin...and no...he is not here. What if the voice was right...what if he left me...what if he never comes back?

I am starting to panic as I run to the front door to go out and I am stopped by demon red eyes glaring back into mine. His nose snarls up so that I can see all his sharp teeth, not to mention the droll hanging loosely from his mouth. I know he wants to attack me; to eat me alive...this demon looking creature keeps growling at me. I watch as his ears twitch and his eyes grow a deeper red. I slowly back away from the door and then slam in its face before he can get to me.

As I walk slowly backwards to the bedroom, I watch the door rattle...he is banging so hard and I can hear him clawing and biting at the door....begging to enter. Once he does I am history...he will gobble me up in one gulp. I continue to make my way into the bedroom and shut the door. I find the corner and try my best to hide as far as I can.

When I wake up the sun is shining across the room. The cabin is quite...super quite. My body feels so weak that I don't want to move however I crawl my way up to the bed and just lay there. I haven't seen Emily today however Ava paces back and forth beside the bed.

"Sleeping all day...you should... it's not like you have anything better to do."

I grumble... "Ava get lost."

"Why so you can dwell her all alone in your sorrow."

"Ava...please go away." I don't even bother looking up at her; instead I close my eyes back and fall deeper into my thoughts. "If you wanted to talk you should have been here yesterday."

"He doesn't like me...Sophie you need to take your meds."

"I don't have any..." And I don't. I actually stopped taking them months ago...the pills in the bottle are just aspirins...they do nothing for my condition. I thought I didn't need to take them anymore.

 I'm not sure how many days have passed. The only time I get up is to make my way to the bathroom to pee and then return back to the lumpy old mattress. I don't dare go out the front door knowing the demon wolf like creature is still there waiting for me.

 As I am lying in the bed, I hear the front door creek open and then footsteps coming closer towards me. He comes walking into the room like he hasn't been gone...like he never left me. "Sorry I have been gone so long...what are you doing in bed. Get up." He reaches over to touch my shoulder.

I glance up at him and then close my eyes back. "Go away...you left me here to die."

"No I didn't...and I am back. Get up." He pulls up my arm. I force myself into sitting. His hands form around my cheeks. "What the hell happened to you?"

I shake my head. I have no clue what he is talking about.

"Get up...come on stand up lets go."

"Where are we going?"When I stand up he grabs me and pulls me towards the bathroom.

"Take your clothes off."

"What....why?" I slump over, leaning against the wall.

"Look at yourself...you look horrible. I leave for a short time and you can't even take a damn shower...look at your hair for crying out loud." He flips my hair up into the air. I look into the broken mirror.

 I don't even know the girl looking back at me. Her hair is all matted up in knots. There is dried up blood all over her face from where it must have got busted from something. I look around the mirror and see where it was cracked...busted from me banging my head against it. I remember some of it. His voice would not go away. Her eyes stare back to mine all full of tears, full of uncertainty. I hold on to the sink as I take in my reflection.

"Do you want me to help you? You look like crap." He reaches up and tugs on my shirt. I let him help me get undressed. "How much weight have you loss...you look too thin. You look sick."

I don't say anything as he helps me get undressed and then turns on the shower. He helps me get in and I know the water should feel good but it doesn't. It hurts. It hurts so bad like a thousand needles being thrown at me in every direction. The pain is so unreal...I scream out in pain, collapsing to the bottom of the tub. I feel arms come around me and force me to stand back up. Turning off the water, I step out of the tub and let him hold me up.

"Come on...let's get you something to eat."

 I follow him into the kitchen. We sit down at the table and eat a breakfast bar. It hurts to chew. I guess because it's been so long since I used these muscles. Every time I bite down the crunch shoots a pain up into my head. The sound alone is excruciating. It takes me for every to chew and then force myself to swallow...afraid that if I don't chew it up completely it will choke me going down or the chunks will cut into my esophagus all the way down and then I will bleed from the inside out.

By the time I am done forcing myself to eat, I am exhausted and just want to go lay back down on the bed. But he has other plans. He wants to go outside.

"Where are you going?" I pull away from his grasp.

"Outside...Sophie you need some air...some sunlight will do you some good." He tugs at my arm.

 I shake my head vigorously...no...not happening that demon is out there. I start to step backwards.

"Sophie...what is the matter with you?"

"I can't go out there...please don't open the door...don't it will get me."

"What will get you...there is nothing out there see I will show you." He walks over to the door and opens it slowly. I watch as he walks onto the porch and looks around and then turns to look back at me. However, when I glance up I see behind him; I see the dark figure lurking behind him. My eyes grow wide and I stop breathing.

"Sophie...no one is here...nothing...dammit it's only me." He raises his voice to get my attention.

I back away slowly...bumping into the wall behind me. I flinch at the sight of cockroaches swarming around me. I have a panic attack trying to force all of them off of me. I scratch and scratch to get them off.

When I hear his voice, I blink and the bugs are all gone. "Go away...just leave me alone."

"You told me to leave last time and I did...do you want me to leave again."

I shake my head no but then nod yes...I just want to be left alone. My hands dig into my scalp and I yank at my head, pulling strands of hair out. I yank so hard with a loud screeching scream that it brings tears to my eyes. When I glance back up he is gone.

"Stupid girl...now you have done it. He will never be back. EVER!" The dark voice comes from behind me.

"Where are you...show yourself to me." I go around in circles, looking all around me, frantically.

"You don't deserve to see me....you don't deserve shit. He came back for you and look what you did. Now it's just us again. Just look at your scrawny little ass, you look like death. Why don't you come with me? Let me save you now."

I keep looking around me, searching for the voice...what direction...I have no clue it's just there.

"You can't save me...no one can."

"Oh I beg to differ...I can save you." He says again this time showing himself...but it's only a huge dark mass. "Enter into my world. Come be with me."