Song: Figure it out by Faith Marie

The voices are usually always right. Just like now...I'm still here and the doctors and nurses refuse to let me loose. They say it is only to protect me and it may so that I can't physically hurt myself but that is not going to stop the voices. Emily and Ava have been very quite the past few days however the dark shadow lurks in the room. He keeps reminding me that I am nothing...worthless...a joke to society. He keeps warning me that when I get out he will still be there and he will find away to help me end my pain.

I have requested ear buds but they are afraid that I will strangle myself with the cord...hell maybe I would try to find a way, I don't know. I just want to tune him out. I want him to go away.

A week passes and I have been given a new medication...it is finally kicking in, so much that I am in one of those states...like I don't exist...you know what I mean...I'm so zoned out the building could crumble around me and I wouldn't even notice. Ok maybe I would...however there would be nothing I could do about it because the meds control my body...not me.

The nurses came in and they want me to get up and start moving. They get on each side of me and help me up out of the bed and into the wheel chair. I tense up because so much pain radiates through my body. I never thought jumping would have caused me this much pain. If only I had landed right, I wouldn't even be here.

The good thing about this new medication...is that I don't hear him. Hell I don't hear anything, not even Emily and Ava. My body sits in the wheel chair...but my soul is missing...there is no life inside of me. I don't know how else to explain it. It's my body...and it's breathing in and out and pumping blood to my heart...but other than that nothing.

This is worse than feeling like a zombie. At least then I heard them...I felt things...

I'm wheeled to some room out in the open. I guess they assume I need social interaction. Like that is going to help. I watch my mom walk in and over towards me. I see her lips moving but her words are all jumbled up and I can't make out what she is saying. So she snaps her fingers in front of me trying to get my attention. Oh mother...I see you...I do...I just can't get up the energy to process anything that you are saying to me.

"Sophie...Sophie...hello." Snap...snap... her fingers snapping rapidly in front of me with her waving arms like all of that is going to make a difference. "Sophie...honey...snap out of it." Snap...snap...snap...

My body...breathes in and out. It seems like it would take a lot more effort to do so but it doesn't. It does it all on its own...just like my heart...beating...pumping the blood through my veins...I will it all to stop but I have no control of that. I watch her turn away from me to go find a nurse...a doctor...someone that will see what is wrong with me. Always wanting to fix me...should I tell her that, that is not possible. You can't fix me...no one can. Except him....the dark shadow and I haven't even seen him in the past few days.

These pills...funny how two pills two times a day can fuck you up this way. When my mom comes back over to me she has a nurse with her. Of course she checks to make sure that I am alright. She picks up my arm and I try to fight away...I want to fight away, but I have no control over my body movements. I am like a rag doll...toss me this way and that way it doesn't matter my body is not responding. I see my mom throw her hands up in the air.

 I know she is complaining about my condition. Her voice is powerful and it echoes over and over the same words like I am stuck inside a tunnel. Something about my daughter is not well...well...well...this is not my daughter...not...not...my daughter, daughter...what have you done to her...done to her...done to her... The nurse's voice is the same...god I wish they would just shut up. They make my head hurt and all I can do is stare out into space...like I am not even there.

I watch people come and go...and the voices slur together so I have no idea what anyone is even saying. If it was up to me I would get up and walk right out of this place. However, it's kind of hard to do with my leg being broke and my hip is still healing, not to mention my arm...oh and these pills...they have been giving me every morning and night...they work their magic...making the voices disappear, plus so much more.

My mom...is amazing. I know she cares for me and will do anything for me, even though the voices don't like her and they tell me she is mean and hates me and just wants me to die...she can't wait to get rid of me...but I know deep down she really cares for me. That is way she argued with the doctors to take me off of whatever the hell I am on.

They are in the process of getting me off these pills and trying me on something different. I have been here before. In the beginning when we started this journey. It took forever to find the right pill with the right amount of dosage. I guess the pills I was on before stopped working maybe that is why things went down the way they did. A part of me doesn't believe it though. I know Kade was real. But the therapist here keeps telling me that he was just in my head like the others. Just like she is telling me now as I sit here in her office.

"Sophie...the detectives are here today. They would like to ask you some more questions about the kidnapping...will it be ok if I let them come into our session?"

Like I have a choice in the matter. I shrug my shoulders.The two detectives walk in and I think I remember them from somewhere. Both smile in my directions and the lady talks first.

"Good afternoon Sophie...I'm Liz and this is Bryce. We would like to ask you a few questions if that is alright?"

I shrug my shoulders again.

"Ok then..." they take a seat across from me. "We can't figure out exactly what happened. Can you tell us how you got to the cabin?"

"Kade took me there...said we would stay just for a little while."

"Kade." Liz says...and Bryce is writing down stuff in his notebook.

"Yes...I was at the store getting gas and he jumped in the car. He had a knife...I was scared...so I did what he told me to do."

"Did you stop anywhere along the way...maybe a store, restaurant...any where?"

I shrug. "We stopped to get food. That is it...and then the cabin."I watch as they look at each other.

"Sophie...we have video of you at one of the stores. Would you like to see it?" He takes out his phone and holds it out for me to see the clip. I am behind the counter and I am buying food. I turn to look at something behind me but nothing is there. This can't be...I know he is real...he is real...he was real. Another clip shows me outside walking to my car and getting in...no one else is with me...it's just me. I shake my head no...no...I did not make him up. I didn't he was there...where the hell is he.

"Sophie...the only handprints we found on your phone and your car were only yours. We went back to the cabin and there is nothing...no evidence of this guy Kade that you are talking about."

"He was there...he was...we went fishing...we went on walks and talked and sat on the porch and slept together...He was there. I can't explain why he is not in the videos...but he was there. He was!"

"Sophie...there is nothing showing that he was there."

"He said he rented the cabin for the month...he needed a ride and so he got in the car. How would I even known about the place? How...it's just not possible?"

"Well...our theory is...is that you planned this...you planned the getaway. You took out all your money out of the bank. You rented the cabin online three months ago for a whole month. You tossed the phone out of the car so that your mother would not trace you but you knew she had a tracker on the car so you ditched the car...not only that but you researched how to turn off the tracker on your car. You are one smart girl that does her research."

"If I was smart...you would have never found me."

"We didn't...there was a group of friends who rented the cabin as well and you just so happened to be there when they showed up."

I look down at my body. "Then explain to me...why do I look like this? You are saying I did this to myself...why would I do that?"

"We don't know why. They only thing we can come up with is that you scratched yourself. The skin under your nails was yours... no one elsse. We found a belt close to where you were...your handprints are the only ones on the belt."

He is lying...he has to be. I hate pain...why would I...how could I have done this...no...he is wrong...the dark shadow did this to me. Wait...the dark shadow...shadow... "I...I...can explain...I promise I did not do this...I .... I couldn't have."

Amy looks over at me. "Sophie...they also found your bottle of pills. Inside were aspirins...not your medication. You were off of them for some time. The pharmacy stated that you got your refill in December...those should have lasted until the end of January...this is May...You have been without your medication for a good four months. Sophie...without your medication the voices can be taunting...deceiving even. The voices were back and stronger. I think you versioned this guy Kade...because you needed someone to help you along the way...to help you escape."

I shake my head no... "You are wrong....you all are...he was real. He was right there with me the whole time until I told him to leave me alone."I don't believe a word they say...I could not have done this...no way in hell could someone kidnap themselves...it's just not possible.