Song: Nightmare by Halsey

I wonder if anyone is looking for me. I wonder how long it will be for anyone to find me. I thought when he left I would just walk out the door and leave but to my surprise I can't get out of the damn trailer. Apparently he has everything all locked up and I have no way out. I am his prisoner.

I never planned for any of this. The other thing I never planned for was being off my meds again. I have been without them for the week and the voices are getting louder in my head. Not just Emily's and Ava's but other voices. I don't tell Jasper about them. I try so hard to get push them away when he is around.

When the front door opens I get super quite. I tell them to be quite only because I don't know what he will do.

"Who were you talking to darlin'." He says with that look on his face.

"No one." I look up at him with worried eyes. I know he knows that I am lying to him.

He walks over and brings his hand up to my jaw and stares me down...laser blue eyes...that I once adored now frighten the shit out of me. I want to look away from him but it's like I'm hypnotized by his glare. "I heard you talking...you are just as fucked up as those other crazies aren't you."

I shake my head no, as tears fill my eyes. I am not like them...I'm not. "Don't call me that!"

"I know girls like you...you talk to those voice in your head." He jabs his finger into the side of my head. "You going to start going crazy on me?"

I shake my head no again but this time I just keep my mouth shut.

"Good." He smirks before kissing me. "I don't want to have to beat them out of you. You tell them to leave you alone. The only one that tells you what to do is me...you got that." He pulls me all the way into him and he takes my lips with force causing me to bit my lip. One thing leads to another and we are in the bedroom.

His favorite place...my hell. I should have known this was a mistake. I should have known it was too good to be true. This guy was the devil. And he proved it.

I tried so hard to never talk to the voice again. I tried but it's not as easy as it sounds. The longer without my meds...the worse it gets. I am waiting for the dark shadow to come. I know he will when the time is right...It's like my mind and body has to be in a certain mental state...and then he shows up. He has several times before and it's only a matter of days that he will return again. The voices are always there. I just have to choose if I want to talk to them or not. To listen to them or go about my way. But when they are practically yelling at me and telling me to do things it's really hard not to listen to them.

I find myself standing before him. Jasper is sleeping on the bed after wearing himself out. I grip the knife in my hand so tight that my knuckles are turning white. I'm not really sure how I got the knife in my hands but it is there.

'You have to kill him...there is no other way around it. If you don't he will kill you.' He says...it's not the dark shadow but another voice that has arrived in my head.

I whisper, "I can't do this...I...I'm not a murder." I feel my hands starting to tremble.

'Do it...do it before he wakes up.' He yells at me...so loud that I can't believe Jasper did not hear it, however I look down at him and he is still sound asleep.

I keep shaking my head no. I raise the knife in my shaking hands above him. I am just about to do it when he looks up at me. I see the look in his eyes and his lips form a grin. He smirks and reaches up knocking the knife right out of my hand.

"What the fuck are you doing? Was you trying to kill me...you little bitch." His other hand comes across my cheek bone knocking the shit out of me.

I stumble backwards and fall to the floor, bruising my tailbone.

"After all I have done for you and you are going to try to kill me while I'm sleeping." Hands come around my neck and he slings me up against the wall, cutting out my airways. I gasp for air.

"Please...I...I...didn't mean it..." I beg.

He punches me in the stomach and I double over, only to find another blow in my side. He pushes me back up against the wall. "Tell me...it was the voices in your head...wasn't it...they telling you to do it."

I nod. "I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean it...I swear..."I tell him between gasping breathes.

He hits me a few more times, busting my lip in the process... I spit out the salty metallic taste.

"If I ever...ever hear you talking about the voices...if I ever catch you doing this again it will be the last time you understand me."

I nod.

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes...I understand..." But what he doesn't understand is that I can't control the voices. Without the meds...I can't do anything. It's not like you tell them to go away and they go away.

"Good." He lets go of me and I sink to the floor. I'm still there when he gets ready to leave for the day. "I need you to clean the place up...my brothers are stopping by tonight."

"You have brothers?" I ask in surprise.

"Yes...and they will be here later tonight so I need you to clean up more. You can do that can't you?"

I nod.

The moment he leaves, the voice is outraged. 'You should have killed him...Can't you do anything right.'

"I'm not a killer...I'm sorry." My voice shakes as tears slide down my cheek.

'Sorry...oh you are going to be sorry.'

"Please just leave me alone...please."

'Oh...I will leave you alone...because someone else wants to play with you.'

I cover my ears with my hands trying to tune him out. "I don't need anyone else...all of you please just go away," I scream out.

But that doesn't happen...all day they are there...talking...telling me that I am worthless...I am nothing...I am no body that is why I will be stuck here forever. No one is coming to rescue me. No one will ever be able to find me. And if they don't kill me...he will.