A/N : I'm sorry it took so long. I was busy with planning the exact events of book 4 and doing the basic planning for book 10. there is a lot that will happen from now to the end of the series. I even talked to my sister and we will be making a 7.5 book. there will be more details on that when we get there. so yes, be excited, be very excited. I'm sorry if you guys wanted me to finish the other book but I wasn't into it anymore, I'm sorry. But I will not be giving up on this series and I hope you guys will join me in the adventure of writing it and thank you to the people that answer my questions

!!!! and if you haven't voted if you wanted her to live or die than when you're done go vote, because it means a lot and I'm grateful for the people who participate !!!! 

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I started to cry more. " I'm sorry, ...... was it something I said? " he said sounding broken. " no, it's just,.... no one sees me like you do, no one has ever seen how broken I really am " I said holding him closer, soaking his chest with my tears. " what do you want me to do? " he asked worried. " hold me, even if it's just for tonight, and don't let go " I said. I felt sparks shoot up my arm as he wrapped his arms around me.

I snuggled closer to him. he tilted my chin up with his finger and looked me in the eyes. " it hurts to see you cry, please smile " he said pleading . " I d-don't think I can " I said sniffling.

he smiled and leaned forward. he kissed me deep and even if it was only for a few seconds, it felt like forever and I wished it would stay like that, but he pulled away.

" see you're smiling " he said smiling back. this is when I realized, I am smiling. " what do you expect me to do, you're a good kisser " I said looking back down. " I-I'm what?" he stuttered blushing.

" just, hold me you idiot " I said playfully smacking his chest. he hold me close and didn't let go. soon I fell into the darkness.

{ time skip brought to you by I feel like crap because I'm sick }

I woke up to the sun hitting my face. I turned to face away from it and was greeted by Yukio's bare chest. he pulled me closer and started to mumble.

I realized he was saying my name. I started to smirk. aww he is dreaming about me. one day, I'll make him say it out loud, I thought with and evil smirk ( if you catch my drift >:)  ) .

hmm...... lets wake him up and see what he does. " Yukio " I said sweetly into his ear. " yeah " he said smiling, most likely still dreaming. " what are you dreaming about?" I said smirking in a normal voice.

His eyes shot open and looked down at me. his cheeks automatically flared up and he backed up, thus falling off the bed. he sat up rubbing his head and saying ow repeatedly.

I started chuckling when I found my answer. " what are you laughing about?" he said in his morning voice. damn, his morning voice is sexy. he looked at me curiously and cautiously like I was going to say something to make the situation worse. bingo!

" nice dream huh?" I said chucking again. " yeah, I guess, what do you mean?" he said knowing there was something more than to what I was saying.

" you just have a morning problem in your pants and the fact you were saying my name in your sleep makes it that much funnier " I said with a smile and burst out laughing.

he looked down and stared in shock. I looked up for a second and saw his shock and laughed even harder. I calmed myself down and threw a pillow at him. " fix your problem before you get to school, or there will be more problems than me " I said starting another fit of laughter.

" what do you mean by more problems than you?" he said confused. AWW he is so innocent minded. " I know a guy like you has fangirls, I can tell I'm not the only one who finds you cute and secretly sexy. luckily I know you don't have  a girlfriend or Korosu would have told me and I know you won't date them for the same reason you won't date me, because of that stupid  rule " I said getting mad over the last part. 

" how can you know all that stuff?" he said confused. " because of my birth mark, no one really hung around for too long except my brother, adoptive brother, and my mom. I learned to observe and figure things out from afar, figure people out. I know you won't tell me everything and I will have to see from afar. now, having someone like you so close yet so far, it seems almost like a 7th sense " I said smiling even though it hurts to say it. 

when I imagined having a mate, I hoped it would be like a perfect fairytale. we meet and fall in love and get married, even have kids, grow old and die together but as it is, all you get from expectations is disappointment. I was hoping to just fall in love with someone without a lot of problems in between. I guess I should know better, right? what kid can grow up without friends and without a mom and expect for a fairytale. stupid right? I should have known better? but it sucks, having him like this, so close yet so far, we will always be running except he will always be an arms length ahead. life made it that way to torture me. always being so close, but can never touch him. its like balancing a glass cup on your shoulders and head. if you try to reach for the cups than the ones on your shoulders will fall, and in the act of trying to save both of the shoulder cups the one on your head slips. it's an endless cycle, no matter how much I try, he could slip out of my hands at anytime and I would lose him. you think those cups are him but they're really me. three pieces. three pieces left of me. everything is up to me, whether I save them or drop them.

" what do you mean by so close yet so far? "  he asked. " you're always in arms reach, but I can never touch you no matter how hard I try. you don't realize it, but everything is up to you,...... whether I reach you. " I said getting up.

" where are you going " he asked sounding worried. " I'm just going to change, you should think about what I said " I said walking out of his room.

{ time skip brought to you by did I make you sad? }

I knocked on the door to Mephisto's office and heard a " come in ". " Okami, what are we doing here? " Yukio asked confused and slightly annoyed. " proving you wrong " I said walking up to the demon king of time and space.

" is it true that there is a rule against teachers dating students?" I said. " yes,...well it depends on which teacher really " Mephisto said tapping his chin with his pointer finger as he was thinking.

" as Yukio's mate, am I aloud to date him ?" I said smirking crossing my arms. " oh, so you're Yukio's mate " he said amused. "yup " I said showing him my birth mark. " well of course, it would only be right to allow it " he said dramatically.

" I TOLD YOU " I screamed in Yukio's face. " I win, thanks Mephisto " I said giving him a hug and running out of the room. I've got to tell Kasai!!!!!! I ran down the hallway and heard something that made me slow down.

I started backing up till I could hear it again. " why? why would you allow that?" Yukio said worried. " Yukio, demon mates are hard to find. I suggest not letting her slip away " Mephisto said. " I would rather her slip away " he whispered.

Kasai POV :

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I sat in class and waited for my classmates to appear as well as the teacher. I saw Okami stumble in and collapse to the floor. I ran up to he and helped her up. she kept her hair in her face and walked to the other side of the class room.

all eyes were on her and she opened the window....... and jumped out. is she crazy, we're on the third floor!?!?!?!

I took a second to think. which would I do? stay in school, ace the test tomorrow and be a bad sister or be good sister and check if she is okay. hmmm........ dang it, I have no choice

I ran up to Shiema and said " do me a favor and take notes for me, I'll explain what happened to Korosu later in class " I said running out the class room. he chased after me and screamed " WHERE ARE YOU GOING !!!!"" TO FIND OKAMI " I screamed back.

I burst through the big double doors of the school and ran into the woods. I heard a sad howl ahead and I knew she wasn't far. I made it to a stream and I stood there.

I feel like there is something here. I heard something, I listened more closely and could tell it was heavy breathing. I look towards the trees on the other side of the stream.

I looked into the darkness with a determined look, all it took was four words. I looked at it for a minute till I finally said the four words " I know you're there."

that's when I saw it, two green eyes. the eyes became bigger as a black wolf emerged from the woods. she held her head up, but I can see the glimmer of her coat near her eyes. she's been crying.

" it hurts me more than it hurts you. you hold your head high and regain that tough look but I can see the glimmer of your fur. I know you've been crying " when I finished talking she broke down in wolf form.

the tears returned to her eyes and she started shaking. I crossed the stream. I walk up to her and put my arms around her wolf neck." you've been strong for too long " I said in her ear and she started shaking more.

she turned back into a human and I let her continue to cry. " here " I said reaching into my bag and taking out spare clothes. I always imagined I would use it for a change of clothes if I spilled something or got blood on my clothes from fighting someone, not for my werewolf sister that happened to jump out of a 3 story building.

" come on, what happened?" I asked. she composed herself and tried to talk even though she hiccupped from time to time. " I -hiccup- was in Mephisto's office -hiccup- and he approved that Yukio -hiccup- could date me even though he is a teacher -hiccup- and when I left -hiccup- Mephisto warned that -hiccup- if he didn't act fast he could -hiccup- lose me and -hiccup- he -hiccup- said -hiccup- that he -hiccup- would rather -hiccup- lose -hiccup- me " and that was all she said before she broke down again.

her words hit me like a freight train. her mate basically said that he didn't want her around. her mate. the only person in the world that was destined to be with her. the only person that mattered even when everything she loves disappeared. doesn't even want her around.

 when I get a hold of him, I'll kill him for making me cry, but for now I have to make her happy again. she finished changing and started smiling again, fake smiling. " don't do that " I said.

" do what? " she said like she didn't know. " don't start smiling like that " I said. " I want you to be your real self, I want you to reflect what you feel, so if I can make you smile it will be because you're actually happy " I said.

she dropped her smile and looked up at the sky " I feel like crap " she sighed. " we should go back to school " she said and started walking from the direction we came. I grabbed her wrist and she looked back.

" we can skip, I asked Shiema to take notes for me. oh and, I don't care what you say you're not going to cram school today " I said triumphantly. " but what about school " she whined. " there's too much risk at seeing Yukio and in cram there is no way to get away so you're not going, I'll even take notes for you but you're not going " I said.

" but-" I cut her off " no buts, you're staying home. I will not allow you to go through that much pain for school. as your sister I will protect you from your own harm " I said trying to make her understand.

she sighed giving up." fine, but if I have to I'll go to school " she said. then I got a bright idea that will make a lot of people happy. " how about so you don't get bored, you teach Amaimon, if Korosu wakes up I know she will be happy and if she doesn't then I know she would be proud from above " I said smiling.

" thanks, and you're right, maybe it's for the best that I don't see him " she said with a sad smile. what I worry about most is that I don't feel like she will ever get over him. he is her mate, it will never be that simple.

who can forget the one you're meant to be with. she's lucky. she got to be at his side for a bit, mine doesn't even know me. he doesn't know how much he means, yet I don't even think he knows a thing about me.

all he knows is I'm a fire tamer, and my name is Kasai. the sister of the girl he likes, but can never have. it hurts me to see him like that. he wants her, but can never have her, but I'm standing here with my arms wide open and he treats me like I'm invisible.

I, at least, want him to be happy, even if it's not with me, but he can't have that. it hurts.  no matter how close I'll always be far away. " I have an idea " Okami said pulling me out of my thoughts. " let's go back to the dorm " she said still looking mesmerized by the sky.

in a way, Okami's love for Yukio is like the sun and the moon. they look like they are in the same sky, but at its highest point you won't find the other. only at its low points, but even in the same sky they remain on the other side and far from each other. 

my love for Rin is like the sun and the stars. they are the same in a way, both creating there own light, our fire. I'm the sun and Rin is the stars, we are all in the same sky, but never at the same time. the Sun wishes to be with the stars, but when the sun is there, the stars hide. we can never be together.

Yukio and Okami can be together on the same level just different sides, me and Rin can never be together. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and looked at Okami. she was walking forward while looking at the sky. I mentally sighed when she didn't see that I let out a tear.

" I saw that you know " she said not looking at me. " when we get home, I want to now why " she said. we walked out of the woods and made it to the dorm. " I opened the door and said " home, sweet, home ."

" this can never be my home " Okami said sadly. " why?" I asked confused. " home is never where your stuff are, or where you sleep. home is being around people that love you, and as long as Yukio is here. it can never be home " she said brokenly. " I guess I can't call it home either " I said letting out a few more tears before I broke down.

Okami helped me up and helped me up the stairs. when we made it I finally calmed down. Okami walked up to Korosu's door and lightly knocked. " Amaimon it's us. can you open up?" she asked.

the door opened and I was about tell him thank you, but I saw Behemoth in the doorway. If Behemoth opened the door than, what is Amaimon doing? I walked into the dimly lit room, towing behind Okami.

I looked at the bed and was amazed when I saw Korosu. last time I was here, she had streaks of blood on her arms and face, and now they are all gone. I looked at the night stand and saw a bowl made of wood and some red water in it. Amaimon cleaned her up.

" Amaimon, did you clean her up? " I asked amazed. " yeah, I-I just couldn't leave her like that. like this, she looks more.... alive " he said emotionless. he was right. now she looks like she is just sleeping, no blood. her chest rises and falls at a consistent rate. It just dawned upon me how Amaimon never even looked at me when he answered my question. his eyes stayed glues to Korosu's face as he held her hand.

" Amaimon, why won't you look at us ?" I asked. " because if I look away, I feel far away and holding her hand, I feel her pulse. its weak like its supposed to be, but, even if it's weak, it reminds me she is alive " he said still not looking at us. " Behemoth, did he eat breakfast?" Okami asked. I turned around and watched as the little hobgoblin familiar shook his head no.

" Okay, I'll be back " Okami said leaving the room. I looked back at Amaimon. " why didn't you eat breakfast?" I asked. " I don't have it in me to leave the room " he said. I looked away.

I can't look at him like this. he talks like it's nothing, but I can feel him dying inside. I sat down on the floor and faced the balcony. the curtains are covering it and its the only light in the room.

" Okami, will be teaching you from now on " I said still looking at the balcony doors that reveal the outside. " what about school, doesn't she have to go " he said sounding uncaring. " there was an incident and she won't be going to school, so I thought that it would make Korosu happy that you continue your studies. you know she told me. how you two met, how you ran away, how she ran away, how she made that deal with Mephisto. you know she did it all for you, she knew that you loved going out and she wanted you to be able to have the ability to do it whenever.  you guys might not notice it, but you're lucky. you two want to give each other the world without realizing it. you want what's best for each other and even blame yourselves for things you couldn't prevent. I don't have someone like that. my mate is head-over-heals for Korosu and I'm just the girl that stands there. its funny, I'm a fire tamer, but my relationship is like that of a phoenix. if I'm not shining bright with my fire than I'm invisible. even now, I'm like Korosu, but I'm broken inside and I worry it'll never go away. as long as Rin has a crush on Korosu, he'll end up hurt. either by you, by her, or emotionally. I don't want to just sit there, but there is nothing else I can do " I said sadly laughing while I wiped the tears off my face with my sleeve.

Okami walked back in with a small stack of pancakes. she placed it on the night stand in front of him and tried to glared holes though his head. " do you think Korosu would be happy about this " she said angrily.

" happy about what? " he said. " that you're not eating, humans call that starving  themselves, and it's not healthy " she said. " human die within days, werewolves it takes longer, but what about demons ?" she said partially a question and partially like she was teaching him something.

" it depends on the type of demon, in Gehenna, because I'm demon king I don't need food but in Assiah it takes about 9 weeks, around two months " he said. " so you're just not going to eat, I'm sure Korosu would want you to eat or you're going to end up back in Gehenna and away from Korosu " she said.

Amaimon sat there for a second and then picked up the fork. he finally pried his eyes off of Korosu, but never stopped holding her hand. he finished the pancakes and looked back to Korosu and his gaze remained on her.

" think it's a good idea I stay here, if I don't who will take care of this little idiot " she said lightly laughing. " if I leave, he'll forget what lunch and dinner are ( I don't eat dinner so don't judge me if they are eating dinner one day and it is strange )" she said. " I can still hear you " Amaimon said.

" we know " we said in unison. we started laughing together and it all ended when we heard a knock ring through the dorm. me and Okami looked at each other and I could tell we thought the same thing.

we both ran out the room and into the hall. " I get the door and you hide " I said. she ran to her room and locked the door and I ran down the stairs. I fixed my hair and opened the door. I was semi-shocked semi-not that Rin was standing on the other side.

" hey Rin " I said like nothing was wrong. " I'm looking for Okami " he said and my eyes shifted to the person behind him. Yukio was standing behind him looking mad, but worried. I shifted my eyes back to Rin. " she's not here " I said.

" are you sure " Yukio said.' how would he care ' I thought bitterly. " yes I'm sure " I said slightly annoyed. " Rin go check " Yukio commanded as Rin walked right past me. what just happened?

oh yeah, I was treated as if I was invisible, again. I shut the door and chased after Rin. if he finds her we know he won't keep his trap shut. he made it up the stairs and I finally caught up to him. as he put his hand on Okami's door he stopped.

he looked to the side and his eyes met mine. " I know she's here, why did you lie to Yukio?" Rin asked seriously. " he hurt her, Okami overheard him talking to Mephisto and he said he would rather her go away " I said looking away. " look at me so I can tell you're telling the truth " Rin said. I tore my gaze from the wall and looked at his blue eyes. his hard gaze turned sad and he looked back at the door.

" what an idiot " he said. ' like you're one to talk ' I thought. " what did you say?" Rin said confused. I realized I said it out loud.

" how I'm I like him " he asked sounding slightly offended. I don't know what happened but I guess I snapped. I was so tired of hearing it. it angered me more that he didn't even know he was hurting me, just proves how much  I am invisible to him. then in the blink of an eye, I broke. everything on my mind just poured out and broke my heart.

" I don't know maybe it's the fact that I'm invisible or it could be the fact that even if Yukio doesn't want her around; she still got to have a conversation and even got to be with him, but you don't even know I exist. I'm your mate and you're head-over-heals for someone you can't have. I thought that even if I couldn't have you, you could still be happy but you can't even have that. do you know how much that hurts. A mate is suppose to love better than anyone, but mine only knows me as the sister of the girl he likes. what kind of mate are you? how would you feel if the person who was meant to love you, no matter what, doesn't even know you exist and they are always right in front of you. you're so selfish, what do you think I felt when I found out I was your mate. if you can't get it through to your head, I'm in love with you. how do you think it felt when all you did was frown when you found out I was your mate and ran to hug Korosu when you realized you couldn't have her. if you think you're the only one hurting than you're ten times dumber than Yukio will ever be and I will always be ten times more hurt when you look at me and see nothing " I said.

I felt the tears start to fall and when Rin stepped towards me; I ran. I heard him chase me. I sadly laughed in my head. I realized this will be the only time he will ever come after me with something else on his mind. the only time he will think of me at all.

no matter what I say he will never understand, in his eyes I'll always be Korosu's sister. not Kasai, not mate, not fire tamer, and not the broken girl that thought she had a chance. I know now that I was stupid to think I had a chance. stupid to think it would ever be different. this will be the only time he will ever chase me.

I reached my door and shut it in his face. I locked it and sat on my bed. the tears started to fall more, until wiping them on my sleeves became useless to stop the down pour. " please come out " Rin said knocking on my door. he was missing something, you probably didn't hear it but I did.  

its not the pleading in his voice, no it's the fact that he missed one word. one word that proved the pleading was nothing more than a lie. I got up and walked to the door till I was directly in front of it. I looked at the doorknob.

 " what's my name? " I asked blankly staring at the door. " what " said Rin on the other side of the door. " what is my name? " I said a little louder. " what kind of question is that?" he asked. " a question you have to answer. the answer will prove everything I said about you wrong " I said.

he doesn't realize it but his answer determines everything. whether I open the door and whether everything I said was just my imagination created by my insecurities. he stayed silent. there was no noise on the other side of the door. " I-I don't know " he sighed sadly.

that's what broke me. it wasn't all my imagination; he really doesn't know me. I'm invisible. he didn't have to tell me I meant nothing to him, I already know. he doesn't know a thing about me and he never tried. he never tried to know me.

I guess that's why I never said it out loud, I was so scared of it being true, I kept it to myself. I guessed I hoped by telling him that I would see that it was all a lie. now that I know the truth, I can't say its not. I can't convince myself it was a lie or it will take time. he just doesn't want me there.

"please, I'm sorry " he said desperately. I felt a ping in my heart telling me he was suffering. he never felt that ping for me. even if he is suffering, I can't just give in. even if I'm still shaky from my brake down, I have to be strong.

" I don't want your apologize, I don't want your excuses " I said. " what else can I do " he said desperately. " I want you to try, that's all I ever wanted " I said starting to shake and cry again. " I want you to try to know me, I want you to be better than all those things I said. I want you to prove me wrong " I said.

" I'll try, I promise. I just want to start over " he said. I heard a thump on the door as he leaned on it with his back. he slid down and made a thump when he hit the floor.

I walked to the door and unlocked it. I looked at the door knob for a second and then decided to turn it. when I opened the door Rin was leaning on it and ended up I guess you can call it falling. he was laying there in sit up position, now that the door isn't holding him up. " okay, but not right know. Please tell Yukio she isn't here, so she won't have to face him " I said smiling. 

" do it as a favor to a stranger " I said my smile turning genuine. then it hit me like a train. I could have never dreamed about the thing he did next. he did something I never thought he would do. he smiled at me.

his smile sent warmth to my heart and the fact it was directed at me made me feel like I was on cloud nine. I ran to the window and saw Rin leave the building. they started talking even though I couldn't hear what they were saying. Yukio turned around and started walking the other direction. Rin just stood there and then he looked back at me and smiled again. he ran off after Yukio and when he was out of sight I looked away.

' I guess I better go get Okami' I thought, and as I turned to find her; I yelped in surprise to see her in the door way " I heard you talking with Rin " she said. " It's okay, I don't know but I have this feeling everything will work out in the end " she said smiling.

{ time skip brought to you by I hope I got you in the feels }

I opened the door to cram school and was greeted by the eyes of my class mates. " here are the notes you asked for " Shiema said handing me some papers. " thanks " I said giving him a smile and taking the papers.

" where's Okami? " someone asked behind me. I turned around and spotted Yukio. " like you would care " I said angry. " if you must know she wasn't feeling well, so she won't be here for a while so I will be giving her, her class work " I said glaring at Yukio.

Rin walked through the door and flashed me a smile. he walked up to me and held out his hand. " I'm Rin " he said. " I'm Kasai " I said chuckling a little at the situation. he wasn't lying when he said we would start over.

" where were you during class?" Yukio asked. " oh, just some stuff I forgot to do at home; it won't happen again " I said. Caster and Grimora gave me a worried glace. " I'll tell you later " I whispered.

" hey, Kasai. you said today would tell us what happened to Korosuakuma " Shiema said. " oh, right " is said getting up. " Korosu is in a coma and her condition is critical so we don't know if she will live through it " I said.

there was a lot of gasps and a lot of worried looks. " can we visit her?" Shiemi asked. " all of you can, come over to my dorm house and I'll let you see her after cram school " I said.

" hey Kasai, can you help me study for the test tomorrow?" Rin asked. " of course " I said.

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A/N: Again sorry it took so long. thank you for over 7 thousand views ^~^