Hello! :D 

I hope you like this chapter, fingers crossed!

The part separated with the asterisks (*) is something that will not seem familiar to you, because I added it into Blue Moon. Just recently, actually.

There will be one final chapter after this, and then the Epilogue, and Kidnapped shall come to a close! I absolutely NEED to get some summer homework done, so I'm making myself wait to start Maelstrom until I at least get some headway in that. Not sure specifics. 

*Update: I have found my family's secret chocolate stash.*

~Music~

the words (Christina Perri)

~Edit~

moi

Chapter Sixty-Four

The shower feels wonderful, but my cast makes things a little awkward, and I nearly trip at one point. But as I get undressed, I notice the dolphin necklace hanging from my neck. I look at myself in the mirror. I'm still marked and bloodied, and my eyes are so glazed from exhaustion, they look like unseeing green marbles. The cut Neidra had given me has become shockingly prominent on the left side of my cheek, and it still throbs a little.

I look back at the dolphin necklace. Loki had said that it works only one time, if the wearer truly cares for the receiver.

I snort. Then, with one sharp pull, I yank the cord from my neck and let the dolphin fall to the floor, where it crashes into pieces. So much for that, Jack.

I don't stay long in the kitchen. I only nibble on the ham and cheese sandwich Kyle gives me, and don't even pick up a cookie. The only person in the kitchen besides Kyle is Natasha, and thank goodness, she knows when I want to be left alone, and does so, casually talking with Kyle about recent SHIELD recruits.

I drag myself up to my bedroom to find Klaka already spread out on my bed, asleep, his chest rising up and down in a comforting, rhythmic way.

You're going to have to get off the bed, I think, concentrating on visualizing Klaka off my bed, or at least shifted a little.

He apparently can't hear me in his sleep, so it takes a good five minutes to push him until he wakes up and settle at my feet at the end of the bed.

Even though I'm tired, as I pull the covers over myself, I can't fall asleep. I toss and turn for about half an hour, and then shift so that I can see the clock. It's almost one in the morning.

As I roll over, there's a knock at my door. Klaka moves a little in his sleep, whining softly and distantly.

"Who is it?"

Oh please don't let it be Jack. Or Thor. Or Clint because he's probably siding with his nephew. Or Max, because I don't really feel like apologizing. Basically anybody.

The door opens with a click, and I sit up with a start, because it's Loki who's standing in the doorway, barely illuminated by the hallway light.

He closes the door behind him, and walks towards me, the wood floor creaking. He, like me, looks tired and drawn.

"I...I thought you were..." I can't finish my sentence, so I don't.

Loki shrugs impassively, and sits down on the edge of the bed, turning so that he's facing me. "My brother is taking me back to Asgard at first light, but he allowed me to come see you, providing you weren't asleep." He smiles tiredly, "I didn't think you would be."

"Why do you have to go?" I demand, "Thor can't do this to you! You can't be locked up any more than I can be!"

"Well apparently, I can," he says, "I won't be dead, Thea. I just don't know if I'll..." He hesitates.

"You don't know if you'll ever see me again?" I ask through gritted teeth.

He shakes his head, "I don't know."

I clench my jaw, "After everything we've been through...Thor's just going to take it all away. How typical of him."

He chuckles, but distantly, "And now you can see my occasional dissent towards my brother."

"Not occasional," I snap, "All the time. I hate him."

"He's only doing what he thinks is best, for Asgard and for his only niece. Thor does care immensely for you, and he doesn't want to see you getting hurt."

"He cared more about Leah," I say bitterly, "And if she had lived, then maybe he would have adopted her, and she'd be the heir to Asgard instead of me. But she's not, she's dead, just like Lifolas and Archer, and sixty, seventy years from now, everyone I know and love on Earth will be dead too."

"Thea," says Loki softly, reaching down to wipe the single tear of anger from my face, "What is this bitterness that has made its way into your heart? It is so unlike you, and it's not something I want to see."

"Bitterness came in from these last three months," I say angrily, "I've seen everything fall apart."

"Oh Thea," sighs Loki, getting up. I move over so that he can rest beside me, half on, half off the bed, resting against the headboard. He wraps his arm around me, and I take a deep breath, leaning against him for the first time in a long time, "You didn't see everything fall apart. You've seen some things crumble slightly, but there is still a way to build it back up. You are young, kitten, and have so much more to life that you can live for."

"Too much time," I say, "I'm immortal now."

There's a pause. Then, Loki says, "If you had the choice to be immortal or to be mortal, which would you pick?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"If you did, what would it be?"

I think about it. Then, I say honestly, "I don't know."

He doesn't say anything for a second. Then, he sighs again, "There is no cure for immortality. It's what you've become, and it's part of your lineage. But I'm so sorry for how it happened. Perhaps if I had been completely in my right mind, then I probably would have given you that choice."

"Would you? Would you have actually given me that choice?"

"You are asking this because you are my only heir?"

"I guess."

"The reason I may not have given you a choice either in my right mind or my wrong is not because you're the only rightful heir to the Asgardian throne of my blood. The reason is that you are my daugher, my only child, and the most precious thing in this world and all the others that may be, and I couldn't bear it to watch you leave this life before me."

"You almost did," I whisper.

"Yes, I did, and it was like every bone, every ligament, every drop of blood in my body was about to sever and break apart in a flood."

Silence. "When did you meet Neidra?" I ask.

He presses his lips together, and then sighs resentfully, "I met Neidra many years ago, when she and I were both younger. She had married Naolin at that point, but hadn't killed him, and I was just discovering the anger I felt for my father. As you know, infidelity is not tolerated in Asgard, and is punishable by death. But not when it is hidden. Odin was not faithful to my mother. He abused her honor more than once, and more than once, I caught him at it. I was furious with him, for Frigga never did the same to him, and excused him over and over, and lying and covering it all up. But she was torn from her husband's apparent disinterest in her, and seeing her broken broke me too. Odin never cared as much for me as for Thor, and I think he knew that I knew his secret. My mother always believed that I would be a better ruler than Thor, who was arrogant and capricious in his youth, and I think she believed that I could at least save Asgard from some of its unjust. I was determined to kill Odin one day, and to become king.

"I met Neidra at a festival. Already, she was power-hungry, and devious, but I was too angry to notice, only the first time this would happen. She saw the hatred for my father, and told me that one day, she could help me kill him.

As this happened, Neidra began to fall in love with me even though she was married. She didn't really love Naolin, but married him solely for his power as one of the most influential lords of Asgard. I didn't feel the same towards her, and she grew angry at me that I wouldn't sleep with her because she was married. I didn't want her to be ousted as an infidel and killed. I suppose now, I should have gone along with it and had her murdered."

Loki smiles wryly, then continues, "She was so desperate to prove that she would do anything for me that only a year after she gave birth to Caomh, she killed Naolin in his sleep and offered Caomh to me as a son."

"He could have become my brother?" I gag.

He raises an eyebrow, "If I had agreed, then you probably would not have been born. But I refused, and she grew furious at me, vowing to bring pain upon my family and me, and take away the most precious things to me that I could ever imagine. I didn't take her seriously, and we parted ways.

"Time passed, a lot of time. I met your mother, and you were born, but then I went back to Asgard without both of you. The attack in Asgard that resulted in my mother's death left me in desperation, and desperation opens up the door to weakness. Neidra reappeared to me. She hadn't much changed, but she was very kind to me, turning the knobs in my head. She pointed out that I still hadn't avenged Odin for my mother, who had just died. I agreed with her, and she thought up the idea of the spell, with the help of Myrinea. I was more than eager to begin. Firstly, she suggested I kill Erik Fossil for taking your mother from me. I was eager to oblige but that, of course, resulted in your brother's death. I wasn't completely upset except that your mother was, and I knew it. I avoided Earth after that, even though Neidra urged me to go.

"But then, the Imeldi attacked, and I heard that your mother was killed, and you–and Leah– were left behind, and I dropped my plans and came with my brother to Earth. I didn't realize for a while that Neidra was behind the Imeldi."

"She was?" I squawk.

He grimaces, "Yes, she was, but she didn't know you were my daughter, just that I loved your mother more than I loved her. I knew it was her fault after the discovery of the government agents that were influence by the Imeldi. The Imeldi cannot use mind control. Neidra can. But she came to me soon after and must have wiped that particular memory from me. She had taken your mother from me, one of the things most precious to me. She was trying to break apart the creatures of the universe so that she could become more powerful. The Imeldi attacked the Velah, and in turn, she manipulated Mansar and Videl to become more crazed and animalistic, explaining Videl's fury towards you. And then, Leah died, and again, because of Neidra, I had to watch someone that meant something to your mother perish. Again though, I had not the slightest idea that this was because of Neidra, and fell into her web soon after.

"After we returned from Ardhigiza, I went to my father, made him drunk, and ran his sword through his heart. As he died, I said, 'The price for infidelity is death, by your own laws'. I did not yet use the spell to make others forget about me, because I did not yet want to reveal the truth to you, in your grieving for your sister. But I took Odin's appearance and ruled while you were in Asgard. I saw Neidra occasionally, but she seemed harmless, and I was spending most of my time with you, and didn't notice.

"After you discovered my secret, and discovered that you were my daughter, I was foolish. Furious as I was from your reaction and my bitter loneliness, Neidra got me drunk, and I confessed to her that you were my daughter, something I had vowed to myself to keep away from her, because I knew now she would use you to harm both of us. Now, Neidra plainly saw that the best way into my head was through you.

"Soon after you left, she had me drink a potion, but I didn't know it was one, because she was drinking a bit of the same, and I didn't realize she was adept at potion-making. But it was a potion that wouldn't take over my mind, but would allow her to bend my emotions and yearnings slightly. It was through this that I killed Myrinea, who was quickly becoming suspicious of both of us, and kidnapped you after you spoke my name."

He grimaces, "This is why I could sometimes snap in and out being a brutal monster to you and realizing what I had done to you. Neidra didn't care about this, the more confused I was, the more opening she had to my mind. But then, in San Francisco, I saw your injuries, and realized Neidra had been crueller to you than I'd thought. I questioned Tatiana, the maid, and found out what Neidra had done to you. I slit her throat, and thought how I could trick Neidra before she could trick me again. I was too late though. Before I could confront her, she saw my anger and took full control of my mind."

"That was right before you attacked me in New York, right?" I ask, "In this room?"

"Mhm. She is plotting now with Fjodr, I believe, because she knows he hates me, and because she will need help to take over the throne. But there was still me to consider. Neidra knew that you would be the key to unraveling my insanity. With her in control of my mind, she also had control of the Odin look-alike I had back in Asgard, but she couldn't quite break me. She knew that your death by my hands would solve that, then she could dispose of me and take over Asgard. But that didn't work out particularly well for her, seeing as you're still alive."

"Does she know I'm alive?"

"Not yet, I don't think, but she will soon, and she will not be pleased."

"Good," I say harshly, "Everything that's happened to me, everything from my mother and my brother and my sister dying to you being locked up, to everything."

"Never underestimate a jealous, embittered woman, I suppose," sighs Loki. Then, raising his eyebrows, he says, "Which reminds me, kitten, you are not wearing that  dolphin necklace anymore."

Of course he would notice that.

"Nope," I say as shortly as possible, "I'm not."

He doesn't say anything. He's waiting for me to share, damn it.

Finally, I give in, "He says he doesn't want to be with me because I'm immortal and he's not, and by all means, it's all too much for him and I'm his personal hell."

"I see."

"Do you?"

"Thea, you are lying next to me because I fell in love with a mortal too."

"I am not in love with Jack, I hate his ass."

"I know," he says gently, "I know it hurts to be turned upon. Time is a wicked, wicked game, Thea, and it plays with your heart more than you can know. But time can also be a healing balm, able to rid you of all the hurt that you're feeling."

"So you're still not hurt about my mother?"

"Of course I am, and there will always be a small corner of my heart reserved especially for Angela Campbell."

"Campbell?"

"Her maiden name."

"Oh."

"But Thea, although I know that it's painful for both you and Jack right now, it cannot be the end-all for you. Do you know what the chances are of an Asgardian and a mortal conceiving a child? A thousand to one, probably less. You are a miraculous girl, and only a miraculous young man can fill that spot in your heart that is reserved for the love you wish to share your life with. Your mother and I had a spot together for a short while, but our lives only crossed and could not be interwoven forever. Perhaps that is the way with Jack and yourself."

"But..."I say miserably, "But I...love him."

"I thought you said you didn't," Loki says, a tiny bit of his old mischief back in his voice.

"Loki," I plead.

"I'm sorry, kitten. But if you love someone, and he truly loves you back, then this mysterious thing called life will give to both of you time together that will be precious and beautiful. Perhaps neverlasting, but then again, what is love if not for following the small anxieties of the heart? I suggest that you give Jack and yourself time, but if he doesn't come to terms and not only apologize, but really treat you the way you deserve to be treated, then it is time to say goodbye."

His words, even though I know they're right, are heavy.

"I don't like saying goodbye," I whisper, burying my head in his shoulder. "Not to anyone."

"I know," he murmurs, knowing that I'm not talking about Jack anymore, "The scariest part is letting go. But then, you can spread your wings and find something else in the beauty of life. And when there is so much life left over, goodbyes don't always last forever."

There's more silence. Then, I ask, "Then why did you say goodbye to my mother?"

I crane my neck up to see his reaction. He doesn't give much of one except to look vaguely towards the wall, but I know that he's not really looking at the green wallpaper. Then, he says, "Your mother and I cared about each other immensely at one time. I thought I couldn't breathe without her being nearby for me to hold. But there were things that happened that signaled that we could not be forever together, even beyond the limitations of mortality. She recognized this, and as the more practical one...She asked me to leave, and to leave you."

He runs his fingers through my thick hair, which has turned black again tonight. "It was perhaps one of the hardest decisions of my life. But I knew she was right. You deserved a normal, human life. I didn't think I would be the next ruler of Asgard, what need would I have for an heir?"

"Did you ever go back to her?" I ask.

"I saw her twice after the day she told me she was with child, with you. Twice, and nevermore after that."

"Did you love her?" I ask, slightly hesitantly, because Loki looks sad and tired all at once.

He closes his eyes briefly, and then whispers, "Yes. Yes, I did, kitten. I thought I could love nobody other than her, until the day that I first laid eyes on you."

"I wasn't very nice the first day you saw me," I say, remembering that day as if it were in a misty maze, back to the helicarrier, back to the infirmary where I had met those who would become my family.

"You were delusioned by heartbreak and loss and the Imeldi poison," says Loki, "But that was not the first time I saw you."

I shift suddenly, causing Klaka to roll over. "What?"

"I saw you for the first time when you were five years old, one stormy night in January."

I stare, "How do I not remember?"

"Because I took that memory from you, and one less than a year after that."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to go looking for me. Even though you were young, I knew you had a bright, inquisitive mind, and could find me if you wanted. And neither your mother nor I wanted that for you."

"Then why didn't you tell me after the Imeldi attack that I'm your daughter? Any time after that?"

He leans down and rests his face on the top of my head, then says quietly, "Thea, as soon as I saw you in that infirmary, I wanted to tell you. Perhaps it could have eased your suffering that your father was there. But I had made a promise to your mother that I would keep silent, and thought that I could honor her name one last time by doing it. So I did. But I kept watch over you the entire time, and privately hoped that you would figure it out on your own at some point when you were ready to know. You did, by the way."

"I did?"

"You did begin to put some things together, very briefly. *It was on the flight from Venezuela to Chicago, when we were posing as father and daughter, and that woman commented that we looked very much alike. You began to realize why people stared at both of our eyes."

"Why don't I remember?" I ask, wracking my brains.

"I didn't take that memory from you. But that was shortly after the tortures in the Imeldi camp, and you were still in pain, and still sick. I think you passed it off as a half-conscious thought, because you never brought it up again."

"Oh."

"You weren't the only one. Natasha was the first."

"Of course she was."

He smiles, "She thought it strange that I would attach myself to a random thirteen year old girl so quickly. She put the pieces together, and I realized that. So I used my magic on her in Asgard, the first time you were there to make her forget what she had been thinking."

"That's when you had her on that wall!" I gape, "In the weapons' room, when I found you and you wouldn't tell me what you did to her!"

"Yes, it was. And Sif too, when she commented on your eyes at the table, she later confronted me that she had seen eyes like yours in only two other people, those people being me, of course, and the other being my mother, your grandmother." *

"I wish I had met Frigga," I say longingly.

"You did."

"What?"

"It was just before the attack in Asgard that would bring about her death. To make this short, October was not the first time I technically kidnapped you. One afternoon, I took you from school and brought you to Asgard, desperate to have you for my daughter instead of just your mother's child."

"Was I scared?"

"Not in the slightest. Your mother was though. Mmm," Loki smiles, a little sadly, "I don't know if I've ever gotten yelled at so much as I had when I brought you back."

"Why'd you bring me back?"

"My mother. She thought you were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and loved you instantly. *She gave you that necklace, the other one that was found in your apartment besides your mother's.* But after she met you, she scolded me for taking you. 'A mother cannot be separated from her child. Thea belongs with her mother, Loki, and if you cannot have her, then you cannot have her.' So I took you back to Earth, and didn't see you until you were thirteen years old, in the helicarrier."

"Can you give me those memories back?"

He sighs, "Thea, I wish I could. But I am not as powerful at memory charms as Videl and most Velah are. It takes so much energy, and darling, I'm sorry, but..."

I know he's as exhausted as I am, and I say, "It's okay, I'm fine."

"Perhaps you can ask Videl. He may be able to break the seal." He sounds guilty, wishing that he could do it for me.

"No, you do it for me one day."

"You need only ask, darling," he says, still playing with my hair. Then, he says, "Would you like to learn how to change the color of your hair on a whim? Or perhaps you just want it one color."

"I want to be able to change it," I say immediately. "I can trick people better this way, anyway."

There's a smile in his voice, "All right. I can't teach you how to do it silently, with a wave of my hand, like I can, because that would take too much time and strength. But now that you're fully Asgardian, and have magic in your veins, all you need is speak these words and touch your hair, and its color will change. Guretha longe."

"Guretha longe," I try it out, touching my hair. I gasp, for in an instant, it has changed back to blonde.

"Don't use it too often, when you are young, spells will wear you out."

"Okay," I say. "Guretha longe." I touch my hair again, and it reverts to black.

Loki sounds surprised, "Don't you want it blonde again?"

"Until Neidra is dead," I say, "When she looks at me, I want her to see Loki's daughter staring right back at her, and reminding her that she deserves to die because of what she's done to both of us."

"Mm," says Loki, taking my hand, "That's my girl."

Klaka rolls over, so that his head is now resting on one of my legs. I shake him off as gently as possible, because his head is very heavy.

"But Thea," says Loki suddenly, "Neidra is mine to kill. Not yours."

I think about this, and I feel myself becoming more and more tired. "Okay," I say, "But give her my regards before you chop off her head."

"Oh I will, don't you worry."

"I'm going to miss you," I say suddenly, my voice muffled, "I don't want you to go."

"And I don't want to go either," he says, still resting his head lightly on mine, "But I must."

"Don't. Just...I don't know, don't go."

"I don't have a choice. But this won't be the last time I see you."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"Yes. Perhaps for a long time, but not forever."

"We have a lot of forevers left," I say.

"Yes we do. So make the most of yours until I can join you again."

He shifts, as if about to get up off the bed, but I catch his hand as he begins to slip it out of mine.

Playing with his fingers, I whisper, "Not yet."

"I'll stay until you fall asleep," he murmurs.

"Then I won't ever go to sleep."

"Your eyes are already drooping, my love," he says, touching my eyelids gently. I blink, trying to keep them open, "Go to sleep."

I shake my head, "No," I whisper, settling down against him. "I don't want you to go."

"Shh. Sleep."

"I..." I yawn, "I love you."

"I love you too, darling."

He holds me in the vague darkness, and try as I might, I eventually begin to drift away into sleep, rocked into a slumber by Loki, who doesn't leave me as he has promised.

Distantly, at one point, I feel him move out from beside me, lifting up his arm and letting me fall back on the pillow, and feel him tuck the covers under my chin, feel him running one finger softly over my face, remembering it, and then bending down, his thick black hair skimming over my cheek as he kisses my forehead. "Good night, kitten," he whispers. "I love you."

"It's...morning..." I mutter, still holding onto his hand.

He chuckles, "All right then." He squeezes my fingers briefly, one last time, and then gently slips them out of my waning grip.

"Good morning, kitten."

^^^Did that last bit remind you of the ending of Blue Moon, because that's how I wanted to write it... :)

*tears* 

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