Heavy Heart, Heavy Head
Peter Rogers knows pain just as well as he knows the back of his own hand, or the skyline of the famous city that never sleeps, or the way his Papa never fails to smile whenever he sees him. Just as well as Peter knows the feelings of hurt, failure, and the evil feeling of vulnerability.
All things the boy was feeling at the moment because people just loved to ruin his day and manage to utter just the right words out of their mouth to make him feel like the shittiest person on the planet. The number one person on that list just so happened to be New York’s biggest bully, Eugene “Flash” Thompson.
Peter let out a watery hiccup as he buried his weary head in his shaking arms and did his best to muffle the shaky sounds that spilled out of quivering lips. The muffling sound only made Peter’s heart crack more, and the next thing he knew, he was sobbing into his trembling arms.
You might be wondering just what Flash Thompson did to our poor, valiant hero?
It all started right from the morning. Peter woke up from a nightmare and bolted upright in his bed with a scream on the verge of tearing from his lips. The sudden movement also happened to wake up his papa, Steve Rogers. A groggy Steve Rogers immediately went into a fatherly switch and bolted upright at the idea that Peter wasn’t okay.
Sensing the boy’s distraught, the elder wrapped his strong arms around his son, whispering soft reassurances into the boy’s ear, letting him know that he was loved and okay. The former guided the latter back down into his arms and rubbed soft circles on his back to guide him back to a peaceful sleep. He whispered as Peter’s eyes threatened to fall shut, “Rest up bear, Papa’s right here and will always be here to protect you okay? So you just shut your eyes and go to sleep, how’s that sound?”
The sleepy child nodded as he buried his sweat-slicked head into the crook of his Papa’s neck, and right over his heartbeat. The place that he would be safest most.
And then, when Steve did wake him up for school, the two had realized that they both overslept and that school would start in about ten minutes. Hence, the rush frenzy that Peter reluctantly went through as he got himself ready for school whilst at the same time wishing that he could be snuggled under his covers without a care in the world.
And of course, walking into class mid-lecture had all eyes on him and Flash, of course, had to snicker, “Oooo, the penis is late!!!” Were it not for Flash’s crude remark, he probably wouldn’t have gotten a warning of detention.
Already feeling miserable from the nightmare, way too early in the morning rush, and now this, Peter sank into his seat as his teacher droned on and on about Chi Squares and calculations. All things that seemed ridiculously easy and twice as boring. And if that wasn’t already enough, Flash continued to send crumpled paper balls towards the back of his head, whispering about how pathetic, stupid, and ugly he was. And that was only during the first period of the day.
It also happened to be Thursday, Peter’s longest day in school, partially because his classes ended at 3:45, but as well as he had Flash in every single class that he had. And to make matters worse, his Spanish teacher, God bless her soul, had no idea of what Flash had been doing to Peter for years and moved Flash to sit right behind him. He sighed as he let his hands fall into his arms, praying that the day would be over already.
Peter felt like he was stuck in a time loop, unable to pay attention to what his teachers were saying, instead, helplessly subjected to all of Flash’s crude commentary about how ugly, dumb, lonely, and worthless of a person Peter was. And it didn’t help that Peter did lower than he expected on his Spanish quiz. Well, he still did pretty well, a ninety, but he was hoping for a number closer to a hundred. And of course, Flash had to say something.
He smirked towards Peter, “Wow Peter, who would’ve thought that the smartest kid in class did lower than I did, says something doesn’t it?”
Peter rolled his eyes, getting fed up with Flash’s bullshit retorted, “Y’know Flash, it really wouldn’t hurt if you could just shut up for a second.” He muttered under his breath just loud enough for his bully to hear, “At least I can spell all the months of the year properly.”
And Flash had taken the remark to spit right in Peter’s face, hissing, “Unless you want your head down a toilet, you’re going to shut the hell up.” It didn’t matter anyway, because, by the end of the lunch period, Peter was gurgling for breath in the girl’s bathroom. So that was fun.
Peter wiped his tears as he walked out of the girl’s bathroom, adamant to go home and home only. He splashed some water on his face to reduce the redness on his face, waiting for the day to end already so he could just go home where no one could bother him.
Fast forward three hours later, Peter was shakily breathing as he was hunched against his bedroom door, shakily breathing as he wiped the tears that licked his cream-colored skin. He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, leaning against his bedroom door as sobs overtook him, but it must’ve been at least a few hours judging from the knock on his door that could only be from one person.
His papa was on a mission earlier today, hence why he had come home later than usual, usually the war veteran would pick Peter up during the winters, knowing that his boy got cold very easily.
The rasp was just as gentle as the voice that followed, “Peter, sweetheart, are you okay?” The patriotic hero had come home to find their apartment quiet, too quiet. There was no sound of TV, radio, or the blasting of a select pop song that Peter was in the mood for. All things that were a sign of a normal, happy Peter. That and a shut door, which couldn’t help but trigger the father’s worry, “Pete?”
Peter had opened his door just to combust into sobs as the fourteen-year-old threw himself around his papa’s chest, wrapping his arms tightly as he buried his head there. Steve, who was still dressed in his military Captain America suit, was surprised by Peter’s outburst but accepted his son’s weight nevertheless. One arm snaked around Peter, holding the boy to his chest while the other rubbed soft circles on the teenager’s back as he walked over to Peter’s bed.
Steve’s tone was soft and soothing as he dipped his head forward, tucking his head under Peter’s as he asked, “Kid, tell me what happened. What’s going on?” Peter had only cried harder, fisting the material on Steve’s top.
Steve cradled Peter, whispering soft reassurances as he attempted to lessen the boy’s cries. “Ssh, it’s okay, talk to me. I’ll make it better. I promise. I’m your papa, it’s my job to make sure that you’re okay. You know you can tell me anything.”
Peter sniffed as his cries had finally subdued, “I hate school! I hate it there and I never want to go there ever again!” He whimpered as he buried his head deeper into his father’s chest, trying to get as close to the man as possible, “Please don’t make me go back there ever again?”
Steve nodded, allowing the boy to spill out whatever was bottling up inside of him, “Okay, okay, I won’t make you go back there. But can you tell me why?” He began to tug on his son’s curls, silently urging Peter to share what was bothering him at his own pace.
Peter started, still clutching onto his papa, “There’s this kid at school, he keeps on bothering me and he won’t leave me alone! He keeps on saying mean things and hurting me, and he just won't leave me alone! ” The waterworks started all over again.
Steve rocked Peter, softly easing his cries, “How long has the kid been bothering you?” The father didn't like the idea of having someone hurt Peter, to the point where his kid was practically begging to never go back to school. Worry grew inside the pit of Steve's stomach as he caressed Peter's face softly, "Bud?"
Peter thickly swallowed as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, “Flash? Since this year, the beginning of eight grade.” He sniffled, “He’s so mean to me, Papa! I hate it there, he keeps on making fun of me and I have no friends because of him!” He let himself lean into his father’s hold as silence lingered between the two Rogers.
Peter then whispered waterily, “I can’t go back there Papa, I tried to be brave and strong like you, but I’m so tired.”
Steve nodded speaking softly, “Peter, it’s okay. You were so strong kiddo, you toughed it out and it’s okay to need to stop. I’m sorry he made you feel like that, no one, not a single person has a right to make you feel any less about yourself, and under my watch, I’m not going to let this happen.” He rubbed the side of Peter’s arms, “It’s okay, I’m here. I’ve got you. You don’t have to go back there until you’re ready. In fact, I’m going to speak to your principal about this, alright? I'm going to make certain that no one bothers you at all.”
Peter nodded, letting his eyes flutter shut tucked in his papa’s warmth, “He’s so mean to me Papa, I hate it.”
Steve wore a soft expression as he reclined onto Peter’s headboard, “Awe muffin, I know. I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of those awful, horrible lies. It’s going to be okay kiddo, everything’s going to be okay. I promise, no one’s going to hurt you. Papa's got you. ”
Peter rasped as Steve pulled on his curls, “You think that Flash was wrong?”
Steve cupped Peter’s face, “Bud, of course, that punk is wrong. You’re my son, you’re the best boy I know. You’re so brave and strong, incredibly smart, and perfect. There’s not a thing that I would change about you, you’re perfect the way you are. Okay?”
Peter let a smile creep up his cheeks, “Thank you, Papa.”
Steve brushed the hair out of Peter’s eyes, “Muffin, you don’t have to thank me for telling the truth. I’m your papa, it’s my job to make sure you’re a-okay, alright?”
Peter nodded with a smile as he leaned against his papa, “Alright.”
And what Peter wouldn’t know until he went back to school on Monday was that while he was sleeping, Steve had called the principal and gave him the most unpleasant conference of his lifetime. And as for Flash, with a well-deserved punishment, he wouldn't be showing up in Midtown High anymore.
A/N: it's cOrOnA time....so don't make jokes and please please please stay safe. This virus is highly contagious being that it clings to any surface super fast and for a long time, so please be precautionary. Wear gloves if touching things, and please please please refrain from touching your face. As hard as it is, at least wash your hands thoroughly before you do so. And that means water and soup for two rounds of happy birthday. While you might be healthy, you could pass it onto someone who isn't, so please think twice before going out. And don't hoard things, there are more products being made, specifically toliet paper and food, being that their machine run companies, not human. And please be considerate to people who aren't as well off or might genuinely need more than the average. Please stay safe. There are so many doctors and physicians, such as my mother who are going to the hospitals to help people, so if you're sick please stay home to not infect others.
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