Title

Bloodlust (1/6)

Length

6300+

Pairing(s)

Yunho/Changmin

Genre

Romance, Supernatural

Warning(s)

Not for now lol. Unless vampirism is something you need a warning against.

-----

Yunho settles himself on a barstool, watching the writhing crowd on the dance floor. He shakes his head and smiles at the bartender when asked if he’d like a drink. There’s just only one thing he drinks, and it’s not on any of the menus.

Jung Yunho is a vampire, with only two purposes at the club. The first one, a necessary and immediate need to feed. Crossing states without detection from both human and vampire is no easy task, a technique taught to him by his maker, the one who had sired him. The only downside is the energy drain it encompasses, bringing about the immediate need to feed. And so here he is.

The other purpose is one a little more personal. It goes without saying that immortality without a companion is worse than death to a vampire. All vampires are taught by their makers, that there will come a time in their long, long lives where they will leave in search for their own companions. They will know their mate first by scent, one that will allure and draw them, a particular scent that will burn into them.

The rest of it is as simple as it gets. Find your mate, sire your mate, live forever together. Following the final demise of his maker in a bloodbath, Yunho’s choices are limited to dying along with his maker, and seeking a companion of his own.

He had been twenty-five and dying then, a knife wound from a thief when his best friend and lover, Jaejoong had found him. He had already known about Jaejoong, Jaejoong already at least fifty years older than he had looked. Jaejoong had made him the offer to join him after two years together, but Yunho had turned it down with a smile.

Maybe when I’m really no longer meant for this human world, Jaejoong-ah. Don’t think bad of me, Yunho had said then. Jaejoong had merely nodded with a sad smile, pecking Yunho on the cheek before lying back down in bed, eyes transfixed on the ceiling.

‘Let me save you, please, let me, Yunho-yah,’ Jaejoong had cried, cradling Yunho’s dying body in a dark alleyway, dark, bloody tears streaming past his cheeks and falling onto Yunho’s. The smell of Yunho’s blood was so strong, Jaejoong’s head was in a whirl.

‘I’m supposed to love you, and I do, but I can’t if you don’t let me,’ Jaejoong had pleaded, ‘please, Yunho-yah.’

Yunho didn’t have a chance to answer, slumping and losing consciousness against Jaejoong, bleeding steadily from an open wound. Jaejoong looked down at the body in his lap, hesitated only for a moment before puncturing his own wrist and placing it over Yunho’s mouth. More tears pooled in his icy blue eyes, looking down at the man, completely at a loss.

Jaejoong slipped a hand around Yunho’s back, holding his body steady while his own blood continued to drain into Yunho’s mouth. Trembling kisses and an apology, I’m sorry, Yunho-yah, I have no choice, were pressed against the skin of Yunho’s neck, just before Jaejoong plunged in.

Yunho doesn’t believe in fate, but he can’t ignore sheer coincidence that he picks up a scent the moment he stops after taking a flying leap, landing on top of a university building. It’s too faint, but Yunho can almost taste the sweetness on his tongue, smooth and warm like fresh honey. He follows it as far as a block of apartments, trail dying when a strong gust blows the less than aromatic smell from a garbage can, clogging his senses.

He locates a club just down the road from the apartments, deciding that he might as well fill himself up while waiting.

It isn’t long before he pushes himself off his stool, sauntering towards the dance floor with precise steps. Warm bodies surround him immediately, both men and women dancing and grinding against him. One heavily made-up woman attaches herself to him, grinding a pert bottom against his crotch, teasing out the beginnings of an erection. He lets himself encircle arms around her abdomen, pulling her flush against him as they grind together along to the heavy beat of the music.

He darts a tongue out, licking at the skin and sweat along the curve of her neck, catching the smell of alcohol pumping in her veins. She had drunk enough alcohol to put her into her current intoxicated state, but it’s barely enough to get Yunho drunk even if he wanted to. He lets his voice drop into a low, husky whisper, breathing hotly into her ear.

‘Come with me.’ He pulls her with him, out of the club and towards the apartment blocks.

They find enough cover at the first block among shadows and dim lighting, and she immediately assaults his mouth with her tongue, leaning into a strong, hard body. She moans at the erection pressed against her abdomen, crying out when he slams her against a wall, a bruising kiss between them.

Her whole body shakes when a cold hand trails up the length of her thigh before cupping the soft flesh of her bottom inside her skirt, squeezing and massaging. Lips trailed along her outstretched neck, Yunho taking a small chunk of flesh to suck on.

No, Yunho really isn’t look for sex. It’s the way he’s been taught to hunt. Enthrall the humans, trap them, raise their body temperature close to fever pitch, drink your fill, don’t drain them dry. His body looks just like any other human’s, although perhaps of higher demand compared to most. It makes it easier for him. The prey come to him, and all he needs to do is wait. Like a moth drawn to a flame, humans flock to Yunho when he all but bats his eyelashes, most of them waking up with a terrible headache and a false impression of having had the best sex of their lives.

Yet, the only person Yunho’s ever slept with, whether as human or vampire, is Jaejoong.

Yunho lets his hands roam to more interesting places, feeling the heat rise around him. Close, so close.

Changmin coughs discreetly, or at least he tries to. Instead of clearing his throat gently into a clenched fist, it develops into convulsive fits, clamping a hand over his mouth in an attempt to rid himself of the tickle next to his vocal chords. His shoulders shake hard with each cough, tears springing to his eyes from the pain in his lungs, as though they’re trying to claw their way out through his throat.

In a rush for the bathroom, he knocks his chair over, ignoring the resultant angry glares and disgusted stares from the other library patrons. Bursting through the swing door of the washroom, he bends over a basin and begins coughing more fervently and dry heaving, a mix of spit and dark red blood dripping from his lips.

He rinses his mouth, clutching at his belly where it aches badly, and catches a stunned face staring at him through the mirror. Changmin frowns in confusion, but sighs when another look of loathing and disgust is thrown in his direction, the other person leaving the bathroom in a hurry.

Changmin splashes some water onto pale cheeks, rinsing the basin of his phlegm and blood. Looking back up at the mirror, he notes how his eyes are too large for his face, his cheeks hollow and gaunt, and every one of his features too pale and glazed over to be considered healthy. He tugs at his long sleeves; an attempt to cover up sores that don’t heal like they should.

He trudges out of the bathroom and back to the library, wincing at the stares and the glaring radius that’s been made around his table. He steps up to a shelf, picking a few more books to pile up in front of him, before sitting back down and studying for a midterm, hiding from discriminatory stares behind his wall of books.

Shim Changmin, twenty-two years old, undergraduate at Yonsei University, College of Medicine, one of the most prestigious medicine schools in South Korea. Shim Changmin, HIV positive. Changmin likes to laugh at the irony sometimes. One of the brightest minds ever to step into Yonsei also happens to test positive for one of the most dreaded diseases in the world.

No, Changmin doesn’t do drugs that involve poking his arm repeatedly, neither does he visit brothels or love hotels in his free time. He just counts himself as extremely unlucky that he had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Just his luck that he’d met with an accident, suffering heavy blood loss from a torn artery in his thigh.

Everything else had gone well, his artery patched up, his broken ribs and hip on the road to healing despite the nagging pain that morphine couldn’t cover up. There’s an ugly scar starting on the inside of his thigh just next to his crotch right down to before his knee, but Changmin figures a scar is a scar, and nothing long pants couldn’t cover up.

Nothing could prepare him for the worse news, when the doctor had walked into his ward after a month of recovery with the gravest, and possibly the most apologetic expression Changmin’d ever seen on a person.

He remembers nodding vaguely when the doctor had asked him of his knowledge of blood donations, the importance of not donating when you’re infected with blood-borne diseases, and the endangerment to others this poses. Somewhere along the way, things had started clicking together in Changmin’s head, and he had blurted it out, interrupting the doctor halfway through an explanation entailing the surgeons needing to give him about five bags of blood during surgery, and the bags they got were straight from the donation centre.

‘I’ve caught something, haven’t I?’ he had whispered, eyes trained on the bumps his toes make under the blanket. He had stared back at the doctor with pleading eyes, seeking some form of confirmation. The doctor had shaken his head in regret, but nodded solemnly, tight-lipped.

‘What is it?’ Changmin had asked. He had more or less known, judging from the way the doctor had avoided eye contact entirely, but it’s just that part of him that needed to hear the words. The doctor had started going on again about how they should have screened the blood first before using it, but you were losing blood so quickly, until Changmin cuts him off with a half attempt at a glare that comes off more pleading and desperate.

Three syllables changed Changmin’s life forever. From being a student at Yonsei University, having a very bright future, a chance at pursuing his ideal career and being able to find a partner and settling down with kids, to a world of bleak hopelessness and discrimination.

H-I-V, the doctor had said.

There’s a gentle tap on his shoulder as he continues poring over a text on human anatomy. Looking up, Changmin sees the old librarian smiling kindly at him, tapping her watch, indicating that it’s closing time. He glances out the window, noting vaguely that it’s dark outside. Moving to replace the books back onto their shelves, he leaves the library with a small smile for the old lady, shouldering his bag and walking out, hands in his pockets.

A cool breeze whips at his face, while fallen leaves dance in the wind along the pavement as he walks along the main road. He passes a ramen cart on the way home, a waft of kimchi and seafood permeating the air. He stops to contemplate, only to shove his hands back into his pockets, listening to the jingle of coins and his keys. He’ll have to pass on dinner again, recalling the bottles of medicines that have been empty for far too long and a long overdue appointment at the hospital. Changmin would buy some more pills for his anti-HIV treatment, but there’s no buying if he can’t pay for any of it.

He walks the long road home, past a seedy-looking club and up the hill to an old, rundown apartment he calls home. He lives alone in an apartment big enough for just him, after an accident a little less than a year ago took his parents away. It's part of the reason he can no longer afford treatment, his body deteriorating to its current state.

Just at the bottom of the stairwell, he notices a couple in the corner, a young man with a girl pressed up against the wall. Audible moans spill from the girl’s mouth as the young man’s hands travel lower, lips trailing and latching onto a patch of skin just under her chin, sucking gently. Her hands wind around his neck, pulling him closer and urging him on.

Changmin knows he shouldn’t stare, but he can’t help it. Even if it is a sexual attraction between two people, it’s still something Changmin longs for, something he doesn’t have the privilege of. If people look at him long enough, observe him enough, they usually come to the conclusion that there’s something wrong with him, and end up avoiding him like a plague.

He startles, when the girl's moans are cut off on realizing he’s standing there, rooted to the ground. She glares at him, making a noise of annoyance when the other man ceases nibbling along her throat in favor of looking at Changmin. An apology just about falls on Changmin’s lips, until the man’s eyes glow a bright gold, an almost predatory expression masking handsome features. A soft gasp escapes Changmin’s lips as he stumbles backward in fear, racing up the staircase to his apartment.

Had he been hallucinating? Those eyes he had seen, glowing? Changmin barely has time to come to any conclusion or even catch a breath as he slams the door on a foot stuck in the gap. He stumbles backward, landing hard on his bottom as his door swings open in full, and he sees the same young man.

‘I-I- ‘ Changmin tries to say, but words and nerves fail him entirely as the other man crawls over him till he’s flat on his back, running a hand through his hair. The other man buries a nose against him, running it along the length of his neck, inhaling deeply, licking languidly at the skin. The movements cause him to shiver, the smaller hairs on his arms and the back of his neck standing. The voice that he hears comes out deep and smooth, and much to his surprise, a little concerned.

‘You’re sick, aren’t you?’ the other man asks, placing two fingers under Changmin’s chin, tilting his head up so their eyes can meet.

Changmin has an answer, he always does, except they don’t usually die in his throat and come out as a short breaths of air. The other man smiles gently at him, and in a short span of two seconds Changmin begins questioning his own sexuality and the possibility that he might be gay.

In the next fifteen seconds or so, he stops questioning himself and just comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t give a fuck about whether he likes girls or boys. Or rather, he would think this way if he wasn’t so clearly distracted by the warm mouth pressed against his, soft and gentle and unlike anything he’s ever experienced before.

He's unsure what to do, frozen and not moving. It feels strange and foreign to have something so warm and smooth that isn’t food on his lips, yet the feeling’s hardly unpleasant. It dawns on him that he's never been kissed before, let alone in this manner, if one could count sitting as stiff as a wooden plank as reciprocating a kiss. His hands lie useless on his side, clenching around the hem of his shirt, searching for some link to reality.

It's when the other man finally pulls away, barely brushing the side of Changmin’s mouth, does Changmin notice a faint glow in those eyes again. A small whimper forms in the back of his throat, a sudden fear overwhelming him. Normal people don't have glowing eyes. This guy is obviously not normal.

'W-Who- ' Changmin stutters, sitting up and slowly inching away from the man crouching next to him.

The man doesn't respond, instead shaking his head and sighing, sitting down cross-legged beside Changmin.

'You're body is going to die, isn't it?' he asks, looking pitifully at Changmin.

'How did you- '

'I can take it all away, take the disease away and make you just like me, you could live forever with me,' the man continues, looking directly at Changmin. 'We can do things together, visit places we've never been to.'

'Who are you, and what do you want from me?' Changmin blurts out, arms hugging himself for whatever protection and comfort they might provide.

'Jung Yunho. I'm a vampire, just a little under a hundred years old. What do I want from you? If you were any other person, I'd want your blood and maybe your flesh for interrupting my feed downstairs, and I am rather hungry. But because you're the one I'm supposed to find, then I won't have your blood. Not yet, at least.'

'Oh my god, you're going to kill me, oh g-god, please don't kill me,' Changmin whispers, tears welling up in his large, brown eyes. He'd never thought he would fear for his life so much until now. Even dying from AIDS seems the lesser of the two evils now.

Yunho blinks in surprise. He bites his lower lip, a small fang peeking out from under his upper lip. He hadn’t meant to scare the poor boy at all. A hand reaches out hesitantly to Changmin’s cheek, where a single tear rolls down when he blinks rapidly. Gently, Yunho brushes a finger over, picking the droplet on his index finger, wiping it from Changmin’s face.

‘What’s your name?’ he asks, folding his hands one over the other to rest on his lap. Yunho notices the tremble in the other man’s lips, at a loss of to put the other at ease. ‘I’m not going to hurt you. I don’t want to. You’re supposed to be a very important person to me.’

‘Tell me your name, and I’ll tell you everything I’m supposed to, and then depending on how things go, I’ll leave you alone forever,’ Yunho adds, reaching to gently pry Changmin’s hand apart, tightly fisted in his shirt sleeve his knuckles are almost white.

Changmin flinches from the touch, Yunho’s hand icy cold in his, yet surprisingly soft and tender in the way Yunho traces fingertips over Changmin’s knuckles. As strange as everything is, Changmin manages to suck in a few deep breaths and calm himself down, the stiffness in his shoulders finally relaxing.

‘Changmin, Shim Changmin,’ he tries. ‘My name is Shim Changmin.’

‘Changmin,’ Yunho says, feeling the name roll off his tongue easily. He lets the word sink in, imprinting it in some dark corner of his brain and on his unbeating heart.

‘Changmin,’ he repeats. ‘Is it alright if we sit and talk? I know I’m intruding, but please, let me explain everything.’

Changmin stares at Yunho, but nods wordlessly. They both stand, Yunho placing a hand on Changmin’s lower back, directing him to sit down. He takes a seat next to Changmin, the younger man’s scent hitting him like a brick wall, almost forcing him out of control. His own fangs start growing, the sharp points poking along the inner lining of his lower lip.

Yunho shuts his eyes, sighing. He lets a breath out through clenched teeth, hearing the soft gasp beside him. Changmin must have seen his elongated fangs. Yunho gives his head a hard shake, and feels his canines sink back into his gums. He can’t afford to let himself get out of control. He would just end up hurting Changmin instead.

‘I-Is there… anything I can get you?’ Changmin whispers, feeling very small and afraid. ‘Y-You said you’re hungry, I have some food-‘ Changmin makes to get up and retrieve food from his kitchen, but a hand shoots out to tug at his wrist, pulling him back down. Yunho opens his eyes slowly, listening to the erratic heartbeat coming from Changmin’s chest.

‘You’re very afraid, I know. There’s only one thing that will nourish me, and it’s not in your kitchen,’ Yunho mumbles, rotating head around a little. When he finally opens his eyes again, Changmin flinches at the brighter glow he sees in the other man’s eyes, but doesn’t move any further from Yunho.

‘Y-Your eyes…’

‘Glowing, aren’t they? Usually happens when I’m hungry. The brighter they are, the hungrier I am. Glows too, if I become excited or dangerous,’ Yunho dismisses, waving a hand. He had more pressing issues than his current starved state. ‘Changmin, I’ve come to make an offer to you.’

Yunho begins explaining about how vampires seek out companions, the same things his own maker had told him some seventy-two years ago. He briefly mentions Jaejoong, skimming through their relationship.

‘I can cure you, with a little of my blood, but only if you let me.’

‘Cure me? I have HIV, there is no known cure,’ Changmin says, frowning at Yunho.

‘Not to humans, at least. When a vampire’s blood enters a human’s system, it removes anything that isn’t supposed to be there, from viruses and bacteria and other infectious pathogens,’ Yunho says, suddenly sounding like an academic and a leading expert on vampiric blood. ‘It’s also the reason we cannot reproduce like humans, although there have been rumors of male vampires impregnating human women, but that’s not the point here,’ Yunho adds hastily.

‘What I’m saying is,’ Yunho sighs, ‘I can cure you. And if I may be so bold, I want you for eternity in exchange.’

‘Why me? Why not someone else? I’m sick.’

Yunho explains patiently again how choosing a mate is a subconscious decision made, and that he doesn’t know who it is until he actually meets the person. Yunho picks Changmin’s hand off his lap, cupping it in both his palms. He notices the small sores that the long sleeves don’t hide, brushing his fingers gently over them. He could only hope that Changmin would find the small affectionate touches comforting, and not feel threatened by Yunho.

Changmin, on the other hand, doesn’t know what to do, what to say. What Yunho is proposing is half of what he’s always wanted, to be normal, without all the stigmatism, being able to lead a regular life. But the idea of having to commit the rest of his life to a person he doesn’t know, even more, a person who wants him to stay forever, and be a monster like him, Changmin just didn’t know what to think anymore.

He looks down at the hands holding his. He’s supposed to love this person eventually, too. But how could he, how could he love a monster with the power to kill and hurt so easily. Perhaps he’s watched too many horror movies, always of vampires killing humans for sport, draining them dry without a second thought. Slowly, he withdraws his hand, pulling away from Yunho.

‘I, I’m sorry, Yunho-sshi. I want a normal life, I want to be cured,’ he says, sucking in a shuddery breath. Tears trickle down despite how much he tries to control them. ‘But I don’t want to be a monster.’

Yunho looks up in surprise, hurt painting across his features.

‘M-Monster?’ he stutters, barely grasping the fact that that’s how Changmin sees him. ‘You think I’m a monster?’

Yunho reaches for Changmin’s hand again, clasping it tight, refusing to let go.

‘Y-You don’t really think I’m a monster, do you? I don’t kill people, I just drink a little when I need to, that’s, that’s all.’

Yunho’s eyes begin to glow impossibly brighter now, his irises dilating far more than a normal human’s do, the black almost obscuring the gold glow, leaving an outer ring visible. To Changmin’s horror, blood begins rolling down Yunho’s cheeks from his eyes.

Y-Yunho-sshi, please let me go.’ Changmin struggles to pull his hand away from the tight grasp. ‘Please, you’re hurting me.’

Yunho releases his hand, swiping at his eyes hastily, swearing when he realizes he’s crying blood tears again. It doesn’t happen very often, mostly when he’s experiencing emotional hurt. The last time had been because of Jaejoong. He pulls a napkin from his pocket, wiping the blood from his eyes. He looks at Changmin, noticing the way Changmin clutches at his own hand, nail imprints forming small curves on his forearm where Yunho had gripped him.

‘Changmin… I’m so, so sorry,’ he whispers, barely audible even in the quiet room.

‘Leave, please,’ Changmin says, rubbing his arms as though cold. He looks at Yunho with pleading eyes, imploring the other man through teary eyes to leave.

Yunho doesn’t move just yet, digging into his jacket pocket and pulling out an empty glass vial. He breaks the skin at his wrist, draining some of his own blood into the vial till it’s almost full. Changmin watches in amazement at how the cut on his wrist heals almost instantly, the skin stitching and folding over itself, any scarring completely absent. Yunho places the vial on the coffee table, standing up from the couch.

‘It’s my blood in the vial. It keeps for as long as half a year. There’s enough in there to get rid of the virus inside you entirely, including all the mutant genes. You just need to drink it down,’ Yunho says, voice devoid of any emotion. ‘It’ll cure you. That I’m sure. There shouldn’t be any side effects, if only minimal. I leave you, Changmin, but I will return if you ever need me.’

With that, Yunho walks towards the front door, looking back at Changmin once, a pained frown on his face, before leaving. By the time Changmin gets off the couch with the vial in hand, Yunho’s long gone from the place.

Changmin looks down at the vial resting on his sweaty palm, and back out the door. He places the vial in the drawer of his bedside cabinet, before crawling into bed. He doesn’t fall asleep, too exhausted to do anything else, and far too preoccupied with vampires and a handsome man and the dream of being normal again. As much as he'd never admit it, he really wouldn't mind falling in love with someone like Yunho.

Just too bad I'm sick, and he's not even human.

Yunho watches from the fire escape next to Changmin’s bedroom window. He knows the vial is kept in the drawer, and he knows Changmin isn’t asleep yet. Yunho fists a handful of hair in frustration, a low, animalistic growl escaping his lips as he listens to the clear pounding of Changmin’s heart, feeling like a lost cause.

Changmin leaves his apartment the next morning for lectures, walking down the stairs again. He glances at the corner where he had first seen Yunho, empty now except for a large groundsheet draped over something. Changmin’s eyes widen in surprise when he realizes that that something is moving and whimpering. He contemplates leaving it there, but something at the back of his head nags at him to check it out.

He takes slow, cautious steps towards the shivering bundle, tiptoeing soundlessly until he stands right in front of it. He nudges a toe at it, startling backwards when it lets out a groan. Reaching out, he peels the groundsheet away a little, peering over it.

‘Yunho-sshi?!’

It doesn’t take long for Changmin to figure out why Yunho’s there. It’s daytime, and Yunho can’t exactly go strolling out in the day. He crouches down this time, sticking his head under the groundsheet to look at Yunho. Even in the shadows, Yunho looks a lot paler than he remembers from the night before, and a touch to his forehead tells him Yunho is definitely a lot colder.

Placing a hand on Yunho’s shoulder, he shakes gently, trying to rouse the other man.

‘Yunho, Yunho. Wake up. What’s wrong with you?’

‘Bl…. Blood… Sun… Bur… Burning… ‘Words barely leave Yunho’s mouth is short breaths of air, lips dry and chapped.

In some other time and place, Changmin would tell himself you are completely out of your mind, Shim Changmin!, but he doesn’t now, even as he helps Yunho to his feet, being careful to shield the other man from the sun as much as possible, before half carrying, half dragging the other man back to his apartment.

He leaves the other man slumped at the doorway of his apartment, before drawing all the curtains and blinds in all the rooms, blanketing the whole apartment in darkness. He leans Yunho on his shoulder, pulling the older man into the bedroom and laying him down.

Pulling a long sleeve back he holds his wrist against Yunho's lips, the barely conscious man cracking his eyes open, trying to push the hand away.

'N-No, not yours-' Yunho murmurs, struggling to sit up, but Changmin pushes him to lie back down, standing on the side, blocking the dim glow of the sun seeping in through the curtains. Changmin presses his wrist back against Yunho's mouth again, but Yunho doesn't respond.

'I can't, Changmin. I cannot weaken you further. And you don't need to help a monster like me,' Yunho adds, turning on his side, away from Changmin. He's reminded of the night before, the look of horror on Changmin's face, and the rejection he had to go through.

Guilt flushes through Changmin like a bucket of cold water released overhead. He hadn't meant to hurt Yunho so deeply, and he didn't know what he could say to make things better again.

The edge of the bed dips as he sits down and tugs gently at Yunho's shoulder, pulling the other man to face him again. Pressing the back of his hand against the cold pallor of Yunho's cheek, he caresses lightly, saying, 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I, I didn't mean to call you a monster. Please, you need to get better.'

Yunho catches the hand on his cheek, trailing his lips over protruding knuckles before sitting up with too much difficulty, bracing himself with a hand behind him.

'Changmin, if I drink, I'm going to see everything in your mind. Every single memory, every little thing,' Yunho croaks, running a hand through Changmin's hair, nails scraping lightly behind his ear.

Changmin gives Yunho a look, hoping it comes of as resolute, tilting his head to the side, exposing the length of his neck, offering himself. Changmin nods again, finding Yunho's hand and grasping it.

Yunho pushes Changmin to lie down, propping himself up on his elbow to face Changmin, cradling a sunken face in long fingers. He fights off the way his vision swims from being so close to Changmin, who's scent clouds all his senses that he can barely focus. Despite the pain and the throb in his head and the shrouded glare from the window, Yunho still manages a small smile.

'You know, I've always been taught to tease my prey, toy with them and make them feel so hot before I feed,' he chuckles softly, eyes crinkling at the corners. 'But you're not a prey. You're different. And I think I'll do it differently.'

Yunho ducks down slowly, not breaking eye contact even though they're barely an inch apart, only closing his eyes when Changmin's flutter shut, long eyelashes splayed out.

Their lips brush in barely-there feather-light touches, before Yunho pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against Changmin's, lacing their fingers together.

'Thank you, Changmin,' he whispers, before pressing against warm lips again, kissing Changmin fuller this time. Their lips move in a sensual dance, Changmin not even trying to deny entry to a probing tongue when Yunho angles his head.

They remain locked in their kiss for long minutes, Yunho cupping Changmin's cheek even as Changmin curls an arm around Yunho's neck, pulling the other man closer.

In some distant land in his brain called rationality, Changmin knows this is on the other end of the spectrum of his list of 'things I do', this is completely out of bounds, but he shoves all that out the window. Yunho's mouth feels wonderfully and sinfully tantalizing against his, warm and soft and moist, better than anything he's ever felt. And god knows he’s never felt like this before. Never felt wanted like this before.

Their make out continues, even when Yunho's mouth leaves his in favor of kissing down his neck, laving over the area where his Adam's apple is, before sucking hungrily on it.

Changmin closes his eyes in bliss, threading his hands through Yunho's hair, running it up and down a strong back as his nerve endings fire continuously with each little sensation.

Only when Yunho begins nibbling along the side of his neck does Changmin tense visibly, fingers curling tight around Yunho's jacket, eyes open and trained on the ceiling.

The little movements don't go unnoticed by Yunho, who kisses back up to his mouth, lush lips soft and sweet on his. Yunho tilts his head up, looking at Changmin with a soft smile.

‘Okay? Everything okay?’

Changmin bites his lower lip, tongue peeking out to lick at his kiss-swollen lips, before nodding. He looks up at Yunho hovering over him, eyes glowing bright, and some part of him dies at the tenderness he sees behind the glow, and just maybe, he might be able to love Yunho. Changmin’s never been in a relationship before, and he doesn’t know what being in love feels like, but somehow everything feels perfect, like he could forget the whole world for once and just focus on one person in front of him.

He considers telling Yunho all this, but changes his mind. If Yunho says that drinking his blood will let him into his mind, it won’t be long before Yunho figures it all out.

‘Does it hurt?’ Changmin asks before he can stop himself. ‘I… I can take the pain, even if it does.’

He pauses, sucking in a long breath before continuing.

‘Yunho, Yunho. I’m really sorry I said all that yesterday. I really am. I don’t know what to do. Forever is a really long time.’

Yunho gazes down at Changmin, half wishing he could have met this man in another time and place, when he had been alive, in completely different circumstances from this. He kisses Changmin again, deep and needy.

‘Changmin-ah,’ Yunho whispers, sighing and shaking his head. ‘I wish I could know you outside all this. Without all this vampire thing and just, be with you.’

‘I can’t promise forever, not yet, Yunho. But can we still try?’

Changmin tightens his hold on Yunho, pulling the older man into an embrace, Yunho’s full weight resting on him. He shuts his eyes when Yunho kisses the skin behind his ear, nipping a line down, stopping just before the base of his neck.

‘It hurts less if I care more, and I really do care, Changmin-ah, even if I hardly know you, I feel like I really do care,’ Yunho whispers into Changmin’s skin.

‘You’ll go to sleep almost immediately. I’ll close the wounds for you, and then I’ll leave,’ he adds, lapping over an area.

Changmin feels as though the skin on his neck is being swabbed, like they do in hospitals before injections, only different. It feels wet and numb, Yunho’s tongue working continuously over the area.

Yunho’s fangs begin to elongate, lengthening until they’re pushing against his lower lip. He runs his tongue over them, the points sharp enough to tear through cardboard. Kissing Changmin’s skin a last time, he opens his jaw wide, the smell of Changmin’s blood just under his skin threatening to drive him into a frenzy. He steadies the two points right over a vein, pushing down slowly until Changmin’s skin punctures.

The moment he pulls his fangs out from Changmin’s neck, it’s a thick, warm and sweet gush down his throat coupled with flashing images whizzing through his head. He manages to pick up bits and pieces of Changmin’s life in his dazed state, before deciding it’s better and safer to focus on the life force draining into him. Changmin clutches him tighter, moaning and arching into him, and Yunho knows that what Changmin is experiencing is extreme pleasure, an almost-equivalent to an orgasm, but not quite as intense.

Yunho listens to the pounding of Changmin’s heart, quick and steady. He withdraws after a few minutes, biting the tip of his tongue till it bleeds. He licks over the two puncture wounds, spreading his blood on them. Within seconds, the two holes are reduced to small dots, still a little red and tender, but healing.

The drink is barely what Yunho gets in a single hunt, but he can’t bear to take too much from Changmin, already so weak and frail. He swallows a little, the bitter aftertaste of Changmin’s blood a result of the disease that still remains in Changmin’s body.

He props himself up on his elbows again, gazing down at Changmin, who looks up at him a little sleepily. Changmin smiles at him in an almost dreamy manner, and Yunho laughs, finding the look very suiting and cute on Changmin. He moves to get off Changmin, but Changmin tightens his arms around Yunho a little.

‘Stay… Rest… It’s still daytime,’ Changmin mumbles sleepily, snuggling against Yunho’s neck like a puppy. Yunho chuckles at the sudden affection, lying down on his side and holding Changmin against him, pulling a blanket over both their heads.

The two of them too big and tall to fit on the small bed, yet, neither of them complain, Yunho feeling a lot better and Changmin falling asleep on Yunho’s arm, the both of them comfortable the way they are.

 Chap 2:

Changmin wakes up with a slight headache, a pain in his neck and buried against a warm bundle. Even in the darkness he sees Yunho's sleeping face inches from his, the other man in blissful slumber and unmoving. Changmin can't help but smile on noticing a beauty mark above his upper lip.

He manages to wiggle out of the snug embrace without waking Yunho, mentally facepalming when he realizes he's missed a whole day of lectures. Peeking between the curtains he finds that it's dark outside, except for a few lights turned on in other apartment units.

He makes a face of mild disgust when he finally catches on that he slept in his day clothes, pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it in the laundry bag.

Some time later he finds himself in the shower, half thankful for the hot water he gets, especially with winter nearing and temperatures dropping every day. Droplets plummet against his body, the steady rhythm on his forehead gradually and gently massaging his headache away.

He towels himself dry, standing in front of the mirror and examining his numerous sores. He frowns when he notices two red points near the base of his neck. He withdraws his hand suddenly when it hurts to touch the small holes.

He'll have to ask Yunho about those, the other man's probably forgotten he doesn't heal as well as most people do.

Yunho remains fast asleep when he returns to the bedroom to retrieve some clothes. He laughs softly when he realizes the little noisy vibrations he hears are coming from Yunho's nose. Quietly, he pads towards the kitchen looking for some nourishment, his usual gastric pains coming back from missing a couple of meals.

Halfway through preparing half a pack of ramen (the other half stored for another meal), strong arms encircle his waist, while a warm body presses against his back and a chin rests on his shoulder.

'That doesn't even look enough for you,' Yunho comments, kissing behind Changmin's earlobe.

'I can't afford to eat anymore if I want to buy my meds or pay my bills.'

'You know you have another alternative now.'

Changmin doesn't answer immediately, nibbling on his lower lip while stirring the ramen around in the pot before turning the gas off. He turns around without pulling out of Yunho's embrace, facing the older man, leaning back against the counter. He looks away, down at his hands instead. Everything else seems to fade for a moment, his heart beating a little faster as he struggles to find the right words.

Right on cue, Yunho lets go of his waist, taking hold of Changmin's hands instead, running fingertips along the soft flesh of his palm.

'Say something, I can hear your heartbeat,' he says quietly, lightly massaging each of the digits on Changmin's hands.

Changmin sighs, placing one of their hands palm against palm, their fingers intertwining together.

'I don't love you,' he says, shaking his head at Yunho shocked expression to let him continue. 'Not yet at least. I want us to be friends first. Please try and understand, Yunho, even if you don't like it this way. This is all too new to me. You've been in my head, you know what I mean. I've never loved anyone before, I've never worried about anything other dying of this stupid disease without even a chance to find a cure. A cure that would work on other people too.'

'Give me some time. Be my friend, because I don't have any. When I'm really sure and tired of living like this, I'll drink it. And until I'm really sure about forever and eternity, please don't think bad of me and wait for me.'

Yunho looks up at Changmin slowly, eyes glistening. Changmin frowns, cupping Yunho's cheeks and brushing away clear droplets that spill from Yunho's eyes. It dawns on Changmin for the first time that Yunho has beautiful chocolate-brown eyes, so warm and human.

Frustration rises in Changmin, feeling his chest constrict tight and his fingertips tingle when the tears don’t stop. Yunho's eyes widen in surprise when he hears the younger man swear.

'Damnit, Yunho. Is it not enough that we be friends first? Or do you want to just force-feed me with your blood and change me now?' Changmin whispers through clenched teeth, dropping his hands from Yunho's cheeks, wringing them together.

Yunho stares at Changmin with wide eyes, thoroughly confused at the other man's sudden outburst. He gently pries Changmin's hands apart, pulling them around his own waist while he holds him tight against his chest. He smiles a little when he meets with little resistance.

'It's enough, it is. It makes me very happy to hear that, Changmin,' he whispers, pecking Changmin on his forehead.

'Then why the hell were you crying? I thought I was saying all the wrong things,' Changmin mumbles into Yunho's shoulder, holding tighter.

'You silly. Have you never heard of tears of joy before?' Yunho laughs.

'Oh.' Changmin feels heat rise in his cheeks, embarrassment quickly replacing his earlier frustration. ‘Oh,’ he repeats. He tries to hide by burying his face in Yunho's shoulder, but the older man pulls away to look at him with a mildly serious expression on his face.

'Shim Changmin, tell me. What kind of friends are we?' Yunho asks, looking directly at Changmin.

Changmin blinks stupidly at Yunho, his mind drawing a blank. Yunho asks him again.

'Are we kissing friends?'

'Kissing friends...?' Changmin repeats dumbly. Somewhere between being pulled closer and melting against Yunho's soft lips, Changmin figures out what Yunho's really asking.

He practically grips Yunho's shoulders till his knuckles go white, Yunho teasing him with a tongue tracing the grooves on his front teeth, his own tongue seeming to have a mind of its own, pushing against Yunho’s in a game of dominance.

Well shit, Yunho is a damn good kisser, although he's never kissed anyone else before.

Yunho chuckles at the half-dazed expression on Changmin's face, lightly tapping his cheek to snap him out of it. Changmin blinks a couple of times before giving his head a good shake.

'I... Yeah. We can be uh, kissing friends,' Changmin deadpans.

Changmin remains rooted to the spot for a minute, staring a the crack in the floor tile under his bare feet, before remembering his ramen. He turns around with Yunho still lurking behind him, transferring the ramen into a small bowl.

He nods vaguely when Yunho mentions something about taking a shower, humming approval when Yunho asks to borrow some clothes.

The ramen is soggy and too salty (Changmin had forgotten that he should only use half a pack of seasoning) and cold by the time he eats it but he forces it down anyway, shuffling to his room and settling at his desk to catch up on lectures.

Halfway through reading about neurons and ganglions he looks up, turning just in time to catch Yunho throwing on one of his old t-shirts. His throat goes sandpaper-dry when he catches a glimpse of a very toned abdomen disappearing under threadbare fabric, the part of his brain that isn’t dead yet wishing they sold transparent t-shirts in the market.

Yunho grins at him, completely unaware of the minor heart attack Changmin almost suffered, even though he does hear Changmin’s heartbeat quicken. He ignores it though, when Changmin clears his throat and looks back down at his notes. Yunho smirks, noticing the tip of Changmin’s ears flushing red. He stoops down to plant a kiss on Changmin’s cheek, before heading out the door.

‘I’m going out a bit,’ he says.

Changmin looks up with a raised eyebrow, following Yunho to the front door. He catches Yunho by the hand just as the other man is almost out.

‘Where to?’

‘I need to feed. If you can still remember everything from last night, that means I didn’t have enough.’

‘So why didn’t you take more?’ Changmin demands, feeling a little bit of anger coursing through him.

Yunho picks up on it immediately, scarcely believing that barely a couple of hours into being friends they’re already about to have their first fight. He shakes his head in disbelief, stepping back through the doorway, picking up a fist clenched at Changmin’s side.

‘Changmin-ah,’ he begins. ‘What you’ve given me is more than I could ever have hoped for after yesterday. I can’t understand why you don’t want to be cured yet, but I accept it.’

‘I can’t make you understand either, why I don’t want to hurt you, or take anything from you more than I need to. If you can just accept that from me, it’s more than enough for me,’ he says, looking sadly at Changmin. He places his hands on Changmin’s shoulders, kissing the top of Changmin’s head before turning back to leave. Changmin’s hand catches his again, the other man tugging gently.

‘Come home. Come back here when you’re done,’ Changmin whispers shyly, looking at Yunho earnestly.

Yunho smiles at the remark as he walks off, and Changmin finds himself falling a little more, every little thing Yunho does making him seem even more human and real to Changmin.

It’s a quick trip to the other end of town, Yunho moving too fast for a mere mortal to notice more than a blur, running along the highway. He halts, stopping just a distance away from a nightclub, hidden in an alleyway. Perfectly aware that he needs to return back to the other state he came from before going back to Changmin’s apartment, he needs more than what he usually drinks in a single hunt.

Just as well, he notices, out of the corner of his eye, a dark figure lurking in the shadows, constantly glancing at the back door of the club. Yunho can smell the stench of a rapist just meters away from him, who’s completely oblivious to the pair of watchful eyes. Yunho observes carefully, anticipating the move when a lady walks out the back door.

The man is strong and quick, lunging out of the shadows and grabbing the woman, a hand clapped over her mouth as he slams her against the brick wall, threatening to kill her if she even tries to call for help. But even before he can get his belt unbuckled, Yunho grabs him by the collar, pulling him while he runs down the empty alleyway, avoiding knocked over garbage cans and empty boxes easily, thanks to excellent and superior vision.

The woman doesn’t move at first, in a state of shock until her cellphone starts ringing, and only then does she break down and cry.

Hidden among the shadows, Yunho has the other man pinned against the wall, held in a chokehold. The man curses and swears and struggles and thrashes, but Yunho is far stronger than any human being, even in his weakened state. He stops the moment he sees the golden glow in Yunho’s eyes, going deathly quiet except for small whimpers.

Some kind of righteous anger burns through Yunho, even as he sinks his fangs into the unknown man’s neck, drinking and swallowing even as the body goes limp, until not a drop remains. The feed is unpleasant and bitter-tasting, very much like drinking animal blood. Yunho doesn’t drink from beasts unless it’s absolutely unavoidable. He can taste the evil and intention to hurt on his tongue, looking down at the dead body at his feet, wishing he had something to wash out the awful taste with.

So Yunho had lied to Changmin a little. He had killed before. But he doesn’t regret it, each of the thirteen, now fourteen times he’s done it in seventy-two years. Rapists, murderers, child abusers. Images of naked women, tortured children and uncontrolled lust fill his mind as he drops the dead body. And so the world is one rapist and child molester less.

Completely energized now, Yunho runs again, in the direction of his old home across the state, not stopping until he reaches a villa a little outside the city. The place where he and Jaejoong had lived while Jaejoong was still around. He finds a duffel bag in his cupboard, packing clothes, cash and identity.

Even among vampires, there are those who create new identities, somehow being able to bypass the country’s network security, and editing the bio-data of various humans-turn-vampires. It’s especially handy, even more when you’ve been around more than twenty years and you look like you haven’t aged at all.

Yunho doesn’t know where these vampires are, except that they seem to know where he is every time, always managing to send him updated versions when he needs them. It’s a little unsettling, to know that you’re always being watched, but Yunho counts his blessings that it’s always worked in his favor thus far.

Quietly, he walks through the whole compound, sometimes stopping to reminisce the things he and Jaejoong did together. They had a sunflower patch in the backyard, most of them dying with the cooling weather.

We can’t even look at the sun anymore, but lets grow sunflowers because that’s the closest we can get, Jaejoong had said one night with a grin, while they were crouched on the ground, digging little holes in the ground and placing seeds in them.

Stepping back into the living room, Yunho looks a last time at a wall decorated with photos of them, ranging from the time before Yunho became a vampire, when he had first met Jaejoong, to about two years ago, the last time Jaejoong had been around.

Yunho smiles wistfully, tears welling at old memories and fresh wounds. He picks an old photo off the wall, one of the pair of them after a night out by the beach, just to watch the waves. Jaejoong’s icy blue eyes peeking through small slits as he wrinkled his nose, Yunho not even looking at the camera, too focused on planting a kiss on Jaejoong’s cheek.

I miss you, Jaejoong-ah.

He runs a thumb over Jaejoong’s face, before dropping that into his duffel bag, swiping at his eyes stubbornly, the back of his hand covered in bloody tears.

One last look through the house, and he’s running again, running faster against time as he races back to Changmin’s apartment. Running for cover before the sun comes up again.

Yunho barely makes it into Changmin’s apartment through the window, the first rays of sunlight hitting the back of his neck as he crawls in, quickly drawing the heavy curtains. He winces at the smell of burning flesh, rubbing the back of his neck till dead skin flakes off. He’s tired, the run home coupled with the need for stealth draining a lot of his energy, but he could hold off feeding for another day or two.

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head in a motherly fashion when he finds Changmin fast asleep at his desk, having dozed off while studying. A quick glance at the schedule on Changmin’s wall tells him Changmin can afford at least five more hours of sleep, at which he immediately heaves the tall frame and carries him to bed, tucking him in. Yunho kicks off his own shoes, stripping down and changing into sweatpants before crawling into the small bed with Changmin, pulling the blanket over both their heads and molding himself into a frail body, holding it protectively as they both sleep.

Yunho makes himself at home in Changmin’s apartment, Changmin having to wave off the other man’s insistence at buying another bed, or an even bigger bed that would fit the both of them better, adamant that it's not necessary to spend like that. And even though he conveniently neglects to mention that it makes him feel wanted as a person, Yunho reads that as a sign that Changmin doesn't mind having a companion in bed. Yunho also makes a very good warm thing to snuggle against at night, Changmin gradually adapting to the cold touches of Yunho's hands, the only part of him that constantly reminds Changmin he isn’t human anymore.

They do end up buying a new wardrobe though, and Yunho goes on a shopping spree one day, filling his half with new skinny jeans in every other color, and t-shirts and hoodies that Changmin sometimes likes to wear. He also has a particular outfit he wears when he hunts. A leather jacket with Dr. Marten boots to spruce up a normal t-shirt and jeans combination. Changmin admits that the look does suit him, especially when he styles his hair in a fancy spiky mohawk-ish fashion. Yunho blushes, saying, ‘dressed to kill’ with a shrug.

They settle into some sort of routine after two weeks together. Changmin works late at the library on Wednesdays and has classes till past sunset on Fridays. On those days Yunho waits for him in their apartment (as Changmin now calls it) with a home cooked meal. Changmin usually scowls at him for all the trouble, but always ends up smiling and tucking into meals he's never had the privilege of until now.

Yunho just quirks his lips up in half-smiles, memories of Jaejoong standing over a hot stove with a light green apron on, constantly having to dab at the perspiration on his forehead with the back of his hand, but always with a twinkle in his eye. Yunho feels a little torn, especially when he has visions of Changmin curled up in bed alone, hungry and in pain, all of them belonging to Changmin’s memories.

Weekend days are spent curled up in bed, either sleeping and resting or something as simple as lying on their sides, face to face and talking about little things and small plans for another day.

By the time the sun sets, they leave the apartment for dinner, sometimes for a middle-of-the-night picnic at the park, or to sit on rooftops with Chinese takeout. Changmin soon learns that Yunho likes to baby him, very often holding a spoonful of food in front of Changmin and not moving until he takes that mouthful.

Over times like these, Yunho becomes more and more human in Changmin's eyes, the older man exceptionally kind-hearted and caring, so accepting of people even with the worst kind of flaws, overlooking them and always seeing the good side of people.

The older man is also quite a chatterbox, being able to talk about anything and everything under the sky, but the conversations are hardly boring and mundane, especially when Changmin catches himself laughing and grinning in between.

On days when they don’t have concrete plans, Changmin comes home from university to study, Yunho disappearing off in the evening sometimes. Changmin doesn’t ask when Yunho doesn’t tell him, knowing all too well that Yunho needs to feed. Time and again Yunho comes home to Changmin asleep at his desk, no matter how many times he tells him not to wait for him. Changmin does anyway, Yunho always having to carry him to bed, not that he minds at all.

Changmin begins putting a bit of weight on, all credit going to Yunho, who insists that Changmin no longer skips meals just so he can scrimp and save to pay for his medication. Changmin adamantly refuses to let Yunho pay for his meds, insisting that he will pay for it through his own means. Yunho can only reluctantly agree, by then already knowing how strong-willed and how stubborn Changmin can be if he wants to, settling on fattening Changmin up.

Changmin's face becomes less like a skeleton, although having slightly fuller cheeks does nothing to conceal his high cheekbones and defined jawline. Yunho constantly teases him that with all that plus his perfect nose and big brown eyes, he’d never have to worry about going hungry if he was a vampire. Humans would gladly feed him like royalty, and he’d never be without a full belly. Yunho usually gets punched in the arm for that, but the following cuddles and soothing rubs from Changmin are quite worth the trouble.

Over the weeks the weather gets colder, finally dropping to the negative range and winter officially arriving, but Changmin hardly notices. For the first time since his parents’ death and since contracting HIV, winter isn’t a cold and lonely season, and although he doesn’t have a nice fireplace to roast chestnuts over like he’s always dreamed of, he finds Yunho a more than suitable companion through the season.

It’s also during winter when Changmin finally makes an appointment at the hospital, his doctor commenting that he looks a lot better and happier despite not having any medicine. Changmin just smiles and shrugs, mumbling something about his appetite being a little better.

He only manages to pay for a month’s worth of medication with his earnings and savings, feeling a little despondent at how pathetic his situation actually is. So often he considers giving in and downing the liquid stored in the vial buried somewhere in his drawer. But as soon as he rethinks it, he manages to convince himself that he’s not going to take the easy way out until he really has no other options. He knows it’s rather unfair to Yunho, having to make the man wait for him, but he refuses to let himself fall under the category of a quitter.

Some time along the way, Changmin tells Yunho about how he'd ended up in a situation like this. He knows he doesn’t need to, Yunho already having seen his past. He’d hoped the gesture would be an indication of how much he trusts Yunho, letting the other man curl an arm over his waist and pull him closer as they lie in bed on a sleepy Sunday morning, soft sniffles coming from Yunho.

In the span of time spent just lying there with their own quiet thoughts, Yunho presses a kiss to Changmin’s head, whispering, ‘I love you, Changmin-ah.’

Changmin doesn’t respond, and Yunho doesn’t know what to make of the brush of Changmin’s lips against his cheek, but he takes it and keeps it in his heart anyway.

For Changmin, it’s always the happy holidays and occasions when something bad happens. It had been Chuseok when he lost his parents. His favorite cousin’s wedding day when he’d met with the accident.

At this time, Changmin’s already finished his course of medication, counting down the hours and working days before he can afford another month’s worth. He works at the library everyday in winter, climbing to the top shelves to replace books when the old librarian can’t, reorganizing books back into their proper sections and cataloging new books. From Monday to Friday, he works full day shifts, from opening time right up to closing, returning home tired and wanting nothing more than to sleep.

On Christmas Eve, the head librarian smiles at him and waves him out the door.

‘It’s Christmas Eve after all. You should be enjoying yourself with all the other young people,’ she says.

He thanks her, hitting the streets some time close to five, the sky already turning dark, daylight always shorter in winter. He quickens his pace when he hears the unmistakable crack of thunder following a flash of lightning.

It happens along the stretch of road where there isn’t any shelter, when it begins pouring from the heavens, drenching Changmin through and through despite his heavy winter coat. Not having much of a choice, Changmin trudges on, shivering with each step until the apartment blocks come in sight.

He can barely feel his own fingers inside his gloves, his socks squishing inside his shoes each time he takes a step forward. Unsurprisingly, his vision begins to blur as his head numbs from each freezing rain drop that could have very well been little ice balls, hitting his face, painful and stinging. Somewhere between falling and losing consciousness he hears a shout, taking a tumble and expecting to fall onto the cold, wet ground.

It’s not hard ground he hits, but a hard, strong body that catches him mid-fall, Yunho racing towards Changmin at a blinding pace with an umbrella in hand, a string of curses when he finds Changmin unconscious, before lifting him and carrying him back to the apartment.

When Changmin cracks an eye open, he squeezes it shut again at the searing pain across his temples. His hands and feet feel too cold even though his body feels like it might glow red-hot. His hands are definitely too cold, the fact that Yunho’s palms feel warm in his.

He opens his eyes again, vision bleary, only vaguely making out the fuzzy outline of Yunho’s face written in concern, feeling himself drifting in and out of consciousness. Something damp and cold presses against his forehead, but it’s barely a couple of seconds before he slips back into sleep of some sort.

Yunho hasn’t hunted in four days, the longest he’s ever gone since moving in with Changmin, but he refuses to leave Changmin’s side. The other man’s running a high fever that only seems to be getting worse, Changmin’s weakened body not being able to recover. It pains him, having to watch the younger man slip in and out of consciousness but not being able to respond to him.

He spends Christmas Day sitting on the bed beside Changmin, clutching onto a hand with clammy palms. It does dawn on Yunho that he should bring Changmin to the hospital, and he would if he could walk out in broad daylight without being reduced to ashes.

Everything in his being screams at him that the next best solution is to just take the vial and pour its contents down Changmin’s throat, but he resists the temptation, not wanting to do anything against Changmin’s wishes. No matter how painful it is for Yunho to endure, he reminds himself that Changmin suffers more.

Just before dawn Changmin wakes up, eyes bloodshot and complexion a pasty yellow. He tries to say something, but it comes out in a croak. Yunho hushes him, trailing fingertips over pale and chapped lips, red drops rolling down his cheeks. With a trembling finger Changmin catches a drop, shaking his head weakly.

Yunho runs hands through Changmin’s hair, cupping his cheeks and smoothing thumbs over them.

‘Changmin, Changmin-ah,’ he cries, ‘your fever isn’t going down. We need to do something, b-before it kills your brain. Before it kills y-you,’ he says, sucking in a shudder breath. He’s never seen Changmin so sick before, all body defenses succumbing and failing to bring his fever down.

‘Please, Changmin-ah, p-please. You can’t die like this, you can’t die like this and make me watch you,’ Yunho begs, holding Changmin’s hand in his own trembling ones, his eyes beginning to glow as his emotions, raw and uninhibited claw through him, the sound of Changmin’s heartbeat getting more faint.

‘I love you, Changmin-ah, I love you even if you don’t. I love you and I can’t lose you.’

Changmin tries to focus on Yunho’s face, but his vision begins blurring again. Tears still well in his eyes, spilling across his temples when he tries to blink some lucidity into them. It’s out of frustration with himself that he couldn’t last long enough, coupled with the love confessions and pleas spilling from Yunho’s mouth.

He tries to say it, tries to mouth it at least, I love you. He nods, tilting his head to the side a little, towards the drawers next to the bed, each movement painful, before shutting his eyes again.

Yunho stirs when he feels a hand running through his hair, drawing slow circles on his scalp. He looks up to see Changmin sitting up in bed, all signs of the fever and the disease, gone. Wordlessly, he envelopes Changmin in a hug, the last couple of days leaving him in an emotional wreck, crying softly in relief.

Changmin kisses along his jawline, whispering apologies into Yunho’s ear.

‘I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Yunho-yah,’ he breathes, pulling the other man tighter against him. His body feels different, no longer weak and susceptible. Changmin smiles, thinking, it’s like I’m whole again.

He pulls away a little, just so he can see Yunho’s face. Cupping Yunho’s face, he brushes away bloody tears, wiping them up with the hem of his long sleeve, smiling at Yunho. He pauses for a moment, pulling back a sleeve, finding all his sores gone.

It’s the sweetest smile Yunho’s ever seen on Changmin, the sight of it making Yunho feel alive again, all worry and fear draining out from him. He trails knuckles gently over a smooth cheek, watching Changmin’s eyes crinkle in mismatched ovals at the affectionate touch.

Leaning forward, Changmin rests his forehead against Yunho’s, sighing.

‘We’re not kissing friends anymore, Yunho,’ he breathes, fusing the gap between them.

In all their time spent together, Yunho’s always the one who kisses Changmin first, whether on the cheek, or a quick peck on the nose or full-blown ones with tongues in each other’s cheeks. Changmin rarely shows affection in this manner, occasionally smacking his lips on Yunho’s cheek when he feels like it.

The first touch of their lips is sweet, their eyes shutting as the both of them savoring it like good wine. Yunho nibbles gently on Changmin’s lower lip, Changmin tilting his head just so they fit better, kissing in an unhurried fashion. Yunho moans a little at the slow slide of Changmin’s tongue into his mouth, searching and exploring every fold of his mouth, licking over a fang before doing a hard slide against the centre of his tongue.

Changmin’s arms curl around Yunho’s neck, sitting up more as Yunho pulls him to settle on his lap, arms tight around his waist with no intention of letting go, neither of them breaking the kiss.

After long minutes, they finally pull apart, lips damp and pink and kiss-swollen, the both of them panting slightly. Changmin kisses Yunho again, a mere touch of their lips together, stroking the other man’s cheek lightly, eyes twinkling, full of affection and adoration.

‘I love you, Yunho-yah.'

Chap3:

Changmin and Yunho don't let each other go for a long while, Changmin quite done with suppressing his feelings and affection for the other man, Yunho making up for the time lost from the last few days, even if it had only been two days. Long minutes are spent kissing and caressing and holding each other, trailing hands across backs and arms, the air filled with tender whispers of love.

When they finally pull apart, Yunho remarks something about going out for a quick drink and needing to get changed, things instantly reverting back to their routine. A quick peck to Changmin's cheek, and he moves to get off the bed. But Changmin pulls at his hand, yanking him hard (Yunho grins internally at the strength Changmin's never been able to display until now) towards the bed, Yunho falling square on top of Changmin, Changmin holding onto Yunho's waist.

'Feed on me tonight. And then you can cook me a jjigae and pajeon and japchae to make up for it. And I want lots of banchan,' Changmin whispers, warm breath tickling along Yunho's neck.

Yunho peers down at him, but Changmin shakes his head, dismissing the worry painted in frown lines on Yunho's forehead, knowing fully the other man's reluctance.

'Don't worry, Yunho-yah, I feel stronger than I've ever been in years. Drink your fill tonight. I want you to.'

Changmin kisses Yunho sweetly on the lips, smiling gently up at him.

'Take this as an apology and a thank you from me.'

Yunho returns a peck on Changmin's cheek, nuzzling and breathing deeply against Changmin's neck. The sweet scent coming off Changmin does everything possible to drive Yunho crazy, his eyes glowing and fangs fully grown by the time he looks back at Changmin.

Changmin stares at the older man, eyes bright and fangs exposed when he grins. His eyes never leaves Yunho's mouth, watching the way a wet tongue traces over the length of each canine, before darting out to lick along his lower lip. Changmin moans involuntarily, exceptionally sensitive to the light touch.

And like the first time, Yunho kisses him, savoring each brush of their lips and the slippery slide of tongues. Yunho winces, feeling his fangs graze his own lower lip, nearly tearing the soft skin.

First blood is drawn when Changmin runs the tip of his tongue over a fang, over the tip of it, increasing pressure on it just enough to poke his tongue, bleeding a little. Yunho groans at the taste, senses in a whirl as he sucks hungrily on Changmin's tongue like a newborn baby.

Yunho only releases Changmin very unwillingly when the younger man pushes at his shoulders, getting lightheaded with the urgent need to breathe, something Yunho can go without. Panting heavily, Changmin manages a smile while licking at his swollen lips, the combination of actions coming off more sultry and seductive than anything else.

'Slow down a little, Yunho-yah. I want you to enjoy this,' one arm hooking around Yunho's neck, pulling the other man down for a chaste kiss, while his other hand works on the first two buttons of his shirt, exposing a long column of neck.

'Slowly,' Yunho repeats, nodding. 'I love you,' he whispers, finding Changmin's hand and lacing their fingers again, peppering kisses and trailing lips on Changmin's face.

Changmin's eyes flutter shut, heart so close to exploding at the way Yunho cups his cheek, caressing lightly and kissing him so tenderly and gently it makes him want to cry, making him feel like the only person in the world who really matters.

He gasps when Yunho finds a spot on his neck and begins sucking, a hickey forming as he moves to another spot, the way Changmin sifts fingers through his hair and gasps very encouraging.

He undoes another button of Changmin's shirt, licking lower, the little hairs on Changmin's skin standing at the sensations. He begins nipping a line back up to Changmin's jugular, pulling gasps and little whines from Changmin's throat. Yunho begins preparing him like he had the first time, laving his tongue over the same spot, licking and sucking wetly. Just before he sinks his fangs into the delicious flesh, he sits up, pulling Changmin up with him by the arms, looping them around his waist, Changmin kneeling across his lap.

Changmin's vision is glazed over, but he still doesn't miss the adoring way Yunho looks at him, his lips stretching into a smile before he can help it. Yunho kisses him a last time, before supporting Changmin's back, trailing down to the base of his neck before sinking his fangs in.

It's pleasure Changmin's never experienced before, existing on a completely new level when his neck warms as Yunho drinks. Yunho holds Changmin up, supporting his body weight entirely on his arms, back arching and throaty whines spilling over his lips.

Yunho struggles to maintain his composure over his hunger, Changmin's blood exceptionally sweet, no longer with the bitter aftertaste. Changmin begins trembling in his arms, a sign that the pleasure is paramount, and if he continues any longer there will only be pain for Changmin.

He pulls away, licking at the two puncture points on Changmin's neck, the holes pink and raw. Changmin finally relaxes into his embrace, hands running up and down Yunho's spine, panting a little. Leaning back he gazes sleepily at Yunho, playful smile playing across his features. He uses a finger to mop up the blood at the side of Yunho's mouth, letting Yunho clean it off his finger, sucking on the digit.

'You're a messy eater,' he laughs softly, looking up at brown eyes, worry hidden behind a blush. 'I'm alright, Yunho-yah, I just need to lie down a little.'

Yunho nods, planting a soft kiss on Changmin's lips before slowly easing Changmin back onto the bed. He moves back to his neck, wanting to heal the punctures, but Changmin stops him.

'Let it heal on its own. That way you can mark what's yours,' he whispers shyly, eyes gleaming adoringly at the older man hovering over him. 'You love me, Yunho-yah?' he asks, the question innocent, Changmin looking for reassurance that he's made the right choice to be with Yunho.

'I do, I really do, Changmin-ah. I really do love you.'

Changmin smiles, pulling Yunho down for another drowning kiss.

'Good. Show me by making me lots of food now. I'm hungry,' he deadpans, shoving at Yunho to get off him. The older man walks off with a pout, turning around when Changmin calls at him from the bed.

'I love you, Yunho-yah!' Changmin beams, curling his arms above his head in an angular heart shape.

Yunho grins, skipping off to the kitchen to make everything he can think of, pouring all the love he can into delicious food. For the first time, Yunho doesn't think of Jaejoong.

On the night before New Year's Eve, Yunho wakes Changmin up in the middle of the night, rushing a very sleepy man to hurry up and get changed. Once appropriately dressed and well-warmed and fully awake from a cup of coffee, Yunho pulls Changmin out of the apartment and into the wintery wonderland outside, his duffel bag with some of their belongings packed.

'Y-Yunho-yah, would you care to explain what we're doing out in the cold in the middle of the night?' Changmin says through chattering teeth, his throat constricting painfully from the cold.

Yunho doesn't say anything yet, slinging the duffel bag over, letting it rest on his front. He turns his back on Changmin, before looking over his shoulder with a grin.

'Climb on, we're going out of town,' he beams, tapping over his shoulder.

Changmin folds his arms instead, both from the cold and the sheer will of not moving until Yunho offers some form of explanation. Yunho pouts at him as a result, walking over to him and pulling him close, resting a chin on Changmin's shoulder, albeit with some difficulty because of the duffel bag between them.

'Just want to take you to some place nice on New Year's Eve, and I can get there faster than any train or bus,' Yunho whispers, kissing the shell of Changmin's ear.

'I don't think I feel better about traveling at that kind of speed,' Changmin mumbles, fully taking advantage of the warmth emanating from Yunho, leaning into the embrace, his gloved hands playing along the lapels of Yunho's coat.

'Just hold on tight, and trust me,' Yunho says, before turning around again.

Apprehensively, Changmin clings onto Yunho's neck, while Yunho places a hand behind each of Changmin's thighs, pulling the other man forward till his weight is rested entirely on Yunho. It's never occurred to him how strong Yunho really is until now.

'Ready?' Yunho asks, looking over to kiss a pink nose.

'Not really,' Changmin trembles a little, pulling himself tighter against Yunho.

'Don't worry. Whatever you do, don't let go. I'll start slow.'

Yunho readjusts his grip on Changmin, before running into the dead of the night.

Well this isn't so bad, Changmin thinks, as Yunho moves fast, at about the speed of a motorcycle. The cold air whips around his face, the streets empty at the time.

'We're going to go faster now.' He hears Yunho shout against the howl of the wind, Yunho tightening his grip on Changmin's thighs. Or at least that's what Changmin thinks he's heard.

'What?!' he hollers, yelping when Yunho starts surging forward, his hold reflexively tightening pressing his face into the back of Yunho's neck against the bite of the frigid wind, squeezing his eyes shut. His heart lurches in his chest, doing a couple of triple backflips while beating quadruple time.

The blinding speed and cold only lasts for ten minutes, although it feels like forever to Changmin, before Yunho stops. Still with Changmin clinging to him like a baby possum, Yunho reaches behind him to ruffle Changmin's hair, gently tapping on Changmin's cheek.

'Hey, you okay?'

It's a while before Changmin looks up, a red imprint of Yunho's hood on his cheek, blinking some lucidity back into his vision. He shakily gets off Yunho's back, sliding off slowly till he stands, his legs trembling and shaking. He latches a hand onto Yunho's shoulder, trying to steady himself. He looks like he's going to hurl. Any minute now.

'I... ' he gasps, 'think this will take some getting used to.'

'Oh Changmin...' Yunho sighs, enveloping the taller man in a hug, trailing his hands up and down a tensed back, rubbing soothingly through Changmin's thick coat. A little guilt courses through him for imposing something like this on Changmin when he knows full well it takes a while for humans to get used to.

'Maybe we can still find a bus...' he murmurs, sighing and looking down, a little disappointed.

'How long more till we get there?'

'A couple of hours, if we can get us some wheels.'

Changmin looks at Yunho, dejection so obvious in the way his shoulders droop and the strain and tiredness in his voice, his eyes cast downwards at the slush under their feet. Changmin invades his personal space, standing close enough to see Yunho's irises, tilting the other man's head up. He reaches a hand to cup Yunho's cheek, the other running through Yunho's hair and brushing out bits of snow. Wordlessly, he kisses Yunho, capturing a plump lower lip between his own, nibbling gently.

Snow begins to fall gently from the gray sky, landing on the wisps of Changmin's eyelashes as they break apart. Yunho thumbs along a smooth cheek, pulling away to look adoringly at Changmin, a little sadness remaining.

'Well, let's go,' Changmin says. 'Give me the duffel.'

Yunho does, holding out a hand and expecting Changmin to take it so they can walk to a bus stop together. He's not expecting a weight to bowl against him, jumping on his back. Instinctively he reaches back to grab onto something, which happens to be Changmin's ass.

'Changmin! I thought we're going to take a bus!'

'Buses are overrated, Yunho. And I like being close to you like this,' he smiles, pecking Yunho's cheek. 'Just wishing I could hold your hand.'

Yunho stands up straight, as though Changmin's weight is non-existent, pulling Changmin's long legs forward more and locking them one over the other at the ankles. Changmin's arms hang over his shoulder, he curls one to cling onto his neck in a way that would surely suffocate any human, the other one hanging loosely, lacing his fingers with Changmin's.

'Okay?' he asks, looking over his shoulder.

'Perfect,' Changmin breaths, warm breath clouding in the cold winter air.

'Might have to do some jumping later on, so hang on tight.'

'Jumping?' Changmin gulps. Maybe they should have taken a bus after all.

'On buildings. Don't worry, it'll all be alright.'

Yunho angles his head to kiss Changmin again, soft and sweet, smiling reassuringly.

Yunho commences his run again, accelerating to maximum speed within seconds, squeezing back when Changmin tugs and tightens his grip on Yunho's hand.

When Changmin finally steps back on terra firma again, the first thing he does is really to bend over and throw up. Yunho had been true to his word; running at breakneck speed (thankfully without any necks being broken), jumping some thirty feet in the air and climbing up fire escapes to rooftops, before taking flying leaps off edges and landing on another roof easily and soundlessly, repeating the same motions until they finally stop.

At times, Changmin had to admit to the wonderful feeling of having the wind in his hair, feeling as though he's flying and free-falling and he would open his arms to feel the wind whipping around him if it didn't mean certain death.

That's just the adrenaline talking, you idiot, he tells himself, his heart pounding so hard against his ribs it could have cracked his ribs and broken free.

Yunho eases a hand up and down his back, rubbing soothingly as Changmin lurches into an ugly-looking garbage can.

'Sorry...' Yunho mumbles, moping up stray spit on Changmin's mouth with a napkin.

Changmin rubs absentmindedly at his cheek, before cupping Yunho's cheeks in both his palms, squeezing them and rocking Yunho's head a little from side to side.

'Don't be. It'll be better next time,' Changmin whispers, 'And it was kinda fun,' he admits, grinning.

The pair check into a hotel, draping their coats over chairs and falling asleep immediately, both exhausted from the traveling, curled warmly against each other and essentially only using half a queen-sized bed. As tired as he is, Changmin's the first to wake up, just as the sun's rising. It takes a while to register as he sits up in bed, looking around sleepily. And then when it does dawn on him, quite literally, he clambers of bed in a hurry, tugging at heavy curtains and drawing them over the glass window.

He heaves a sigh of relief to find Yunho still whole and intact and not a pile of ashes on his bed, although a little sunlight catches the side of Yunho's cheek, burning the skin there. It inevitably wakes Yunho up, who groans groggily, wincing and rubbing at his cheek till charred skin flakes off.

Changmin climbs back into bed, pressing the older man back into bed, rubbing up and down the length of Yunho's back, the movement lulling the both of them back to sleep.

At approximately noon Changmin wakes up again, turning around in Yunho's arms. The other man whines, pulling the covers over his head to hide from the harsh glare of the sun. Changmin laughs, sticking his head under it, pecking Yunho on the cheek before leaving the room.

He enjoys a hot bath, soaking for a long time in the bathtub, the vanilla shower gel Yunho'd brought along smelling warm and sweet, reminding Changmin of hot pastries straight from the oven. He finally crawls out from the tub when the water starts getting too cold and his skin getting waterlogged and wrinkled like a prune.

He admires the entire bathroom, throwing an appreciative eye over the intricately designed tiles and blending colors, accentuating the oriental-themed lighting and decorations. Yunho has really good taste, he concludes. He considers how expensive it must be to room here, considering how well stocked the bathroom is with body and face towels, shower gel and shampoo and conditioner, toothbrushes and toothpaste. It even comes with a high-tech toilet that flushes automatically and periodically rinses the bowl with some funky blue solution that Changmin concludes is anti-bacterial and sterile.

Perhaps one day Yunho will tell him where he gets all his money.

Toweling himself dry he stands in front of the full length mirror, scrutinizing his own body. Ever since drinking that little bit of Yunho's blood, all his sores are gone, leaving only smooth skin, except little scarring from when he was a kid. The long scar on his inner thigh remains where it is, and Changmin clicks his tongue at his own moment of vanity for wanting to have it covered.

He enjoys his moment of narcissism, admiring how he's filling up nicely, no longer stick-thin and gaunt-looking. His eyes trail down to his neck, where two punctures fade slowly, skin covering up the holes but the marks not disappearing.

Changmin smiles. He secretly hopes that the mark won't disappear, almost giggling like a teenaged girl on thinking it's just like a love bite from Yunho.

It is one, Changmin confirms, blushing at the thought.

Undoubtedly, he loves Yunho. The older man is nothing but kind and caring towards him, always thinking of him first before himself, always going out of the way to do little things that make Changmin smile. Changmin feels nothing but sincerity and adoration and love and everything in between when Yunho smiles at him, wishing there was a way to capture every moment and keep it forever.

He feels a little guilty, that he lets Yunho indulge him to such an extent, when he hardly returns the affection. He would attribute it to being a loner and being ostracized for the past few years, but in his book any kind of excuse is a bad excuse. Looking resolutely at his own reflection, he says, 'Shim Changmin, starting right now you're going to love Yunho, and really show it.'

He nods once more in finality, putting on a bathrobe and walking out of the bathroom.

His heart drops. To think just a minute ago he had promised himself he would love Yunho and really mean it. While rummaging through the duffel bag for clothes, he finds a photograph framed up, of Yunho and another man, a very beautiful man. Doubt and jealousy and fear and heartbrokenness surfaces, Changmin suddenly uneasy about everything. He trusts Yunho, or he wants to, and he doesn't want to believe that Yunho is toying with him like a willing prey, that Yunho is just using and manipulating him.

But all rationality that normally helps him through difficult situations takes a hike, leaving him feeling broken and cheated. Part of him knows he should clarify everything with Yunho before coming to his own conclusions, but stubbornly he doesn't. He throws on some clothes, leaves a note on the bedside table about going out, and leaves the hotel suite.

He doesn't walk far from the hotel, not wanting to get lost. By the time he enters a supermarket, he's practically fuming and angry that Yunho would ever cheat on him.

And to think I let him drink from me! I even told him I love him, that idiot!

Other shoppers end up having to get out of his way, as he steers a cart angrily through the aisles, picking out ramen and some vegetables and canned meat he can cook using the utensils he found in the kitchen cupboards earlier. He snatches his change from the cashier, reducing the poor girl to a quivering mass under his angry glare. He stomps back to the hotel, jamming his finger on the elevator button and almost punching it when it takes more than two seconds for the elevator to arrive.

But as sudden as the anger had come, it leaves and drains out of him, leaving him deflated and disappointed. He toes off his boots, the droop in his shoulders and the frown lines chiseled into his forehead. He forgets to remove his socks, just heading straight for the mini kitchen to whip something up. Anything to ease the pain in his belly, even better if it gets rid of the pain in his heart.

He can't quite decide how much to cook, whether to cook enough for himself or double portions in case Yunho wants some. It dawns on him that he's never actually seen Yunho eat real food, but ultimately he sighs, throwing in ingredients enough for two. Why he does this, he doesn't know.

He's almost done with a vegetable soup base for the ramen when arms encircling his waist cause him to jump, almost knocking over the pot. He tenses, trying to figure out what Yunho means in every of his little actions.

Yunho mumbles an apology into Changmin's neck, before draping himself warmly over Changmin's back, watching as Changmin continues to stir noodle strands around in a pot.

'Smells good. Do I get some of that?' Yunho murmurs, kissing Changmin's cheek.

'Mmm.' Changmin shifts away from Yunho, moving to the cupboards to retrieve two sets of bowls and cutlery, setting it on the table. He carries the pot, placing it in the centre of the table before sitting himself down, staring at the noodle and bits of meat and vegetable.

Yunho beams at him, especially enthusiastic. It's been ages since he's eaten any real food, not that he actually needs this. The last time had been when Jaejoong last cooked for him, the memory of it bringing a knowing ache in his chest. He spoons some into Changmin's bowl, and some into his. The first taste is wonderful, and although Changmin isn't as skilled a cook as Jaejoong, it doesn't mean the food is bad at all.

'This is good! Changmin-ah, you should eat. You must be really hungry,' Yunho chirps with his mouthful, holding out spoonful for Changmin to eat.

How can he do this to me, how can he treat me like this and still claim he loves me. Changmin's heart splits a little more at the seams, pushing the bowl away from him.

'I'm not hungry anymore,' he mumbles, getting off and going back to the bedroom, leaving Yunho thoroughly puzzled. Yunho makes to follow him, but Changmin shuts the door in his face quite literally, and when he does open the door again, he pulls back his hand with a hiss, the smell of burnt flesh hitting his nostrils. Changmin had drawn the curtains open in full.

The younger man is so clearly upset with him, but Yunho can't figure out why. Had he said something wrong? Was it because of the trip here? What?!-

He watches as the skin on his hand folds over the tender area, restitching and healing within minutes. Hesitantly he rests his hand on the doorknob.

'Changmin, Changmin-ah, is there something you want to talk about?'

No answer comes from behind the door, and Yunho sighs in frustration. He has two options, one to go into the room, get scorched until he can manage to pull the curtains closed, and talk things out with the younger man. The other, to wait until the sun sets before going in and talking to Changmin. But he has plans, or had, depending on how things end up, to spend the night with Changmin and count down to the new year together. He had planned on promising Changmin to never leave, and to love him forever.

But all his 'I wills' turn into 'I would haves', a nagging, sinking feeling telling him something isn't right at all, not until he resolves it now. His grip on the doorknob tightens, and he braces himself. A turn of the knob, and he rushes into the room, running with his head down, facing away from the sun towards the window. It's painful, the way sunlight licks burns onto his skin, his hair singeing and arms stinging as he blindly grabs for the curtains, almost yanking them off the hooks, enveloping the bedroom in a comfortable darkness again.

Changmin sits up suddenly in bed, gaping at a rather charred-looking Yunho, who winces every few seconds at the painful burns and blisters on his arms and face, sitting up on the floor. Changmin forgets for a moment that he's upset, concern overriding his depression as he stumbles forward towards Yunho, reaching for the older man's hand. He almost considers getting ointment and cold compresses, but stops in amazement as he watches Yunho heal rapidly.

It's a little unnerving at first, the way the blisters pop and fluid seeps out, yet all sorts of fascinating the way burnt flesh crumbles and gives way for new, healthy tissue, Yunho dusting the dead skin off his face and arms, looking good as new.

Changmin, so distracted by the healing process, doesn't realize he's being pulled into an embrace until his nose is pressed against Yunho's chest, Yunho's scent and cologne weaving through his nasal passage in a tantalizing mix.

'What's upsetting you?' Yunho whispers into Changmin's hair, holding the younger man tight.

Changmin tenses at the question, biting his lip with apprehension. Hesitantly, he pushes Yunho away, gently until the older man releases him.

'Go eat. When was the last time you had a proper meal anyway,' he sighs, dejection painfully obvious in his tone, 'when you first met me?'

'Changmin, what's this about? Tell me, you know you can talk to me,' Yunho pleads, getting more baffled and a little hurt at Changmin's reluctance to share.

'Really, Yunho. You haven't had a proper meal since you met me?' His tone is accusatory, looking up at Yunho with hot, angry tears spilling from his eyes. 'Am I not good enough that you have to deprive yourself? Or am I only good because I let you drink from me willingly?'

'Changmin, please, what's going on, I don't underst-'

'Don't lie to me, Yunho, goddamnit! Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about! You're just using me, aren't you! I'm just something you can feed on conveniently because we live together! Why? I'm not pretty enough for you either? Fuck it, Yunho, I've been sick for years! I've never had any friends with me, my parents are dead, and I trusted you, damnit, I trusted you and I loved you!'

Yunho's eyes glow bright gold, blood flowing from his eyes at the angry accusations Changmin hurl at him, yet he doesn't sense any malice from the other man. Just pure sadness, disappointment, anger.

Betrayal.

'Changmin, please...' Yunho cries, his voice reduced to scratchy whimpers, reaching for Changmin's hand, but it's yanked away. Changmin stands up, that alone making Yunho feel very small. He picks up the duffel bag and tosses it at Yunho, almost knocking his head off.

'Look inside,' Changmin hisses, 'look inside and tell me what you see. Look inside, and tell me that everything I said is a lie, Yunho.'

Yunho looks inside the bag, and the first thing he sees is the photo he'd brought from his villa. With sudden clarity he understand everything, he understands why Changmin feels cheated and frustrated and heartbroken. Blood drips onto the glass of the frame, and he thumbs it away, leaving an ugly smear on the clear glass. He sets the photo in front of Changmin, who has tears flowing endlessly, but no sound escaping him.

'Changmin, Changmin-ah, I'm sorry, but it's not true.'

Changmin's head snaps up, hurt and confusion in those deep, brown eyes quickly replaced by a new kind of anger. He stands up in a hurry, grabbing his coat off the chair and heading for the door.

'I'm leaving. Don't come after me, don't find me. I don't ever want to see you again,' he bites, glaring at Yunho through teary eyes. He's almost out the door when Yunho grabs him by the arm, whipping him around and capturing his lips. It startles him for a moment, but he pulls away, trying to yank his hand out of Yunho's grip, but Yunho is a lot stronger. Very much stronger.

With little difficulty Yunho drags him back to the bedroom, sitting him down on the bed, and a hand on his shoulder preventing him from standing up again. Yunho stares Changmin down until the younger man stops struggling. He's almost sure from the way Yunho's handling him and looking at him that Yunho would surely just drink him dry and kill him now, but instead, he gets pulled into a hug, one that has his heart clenching painfully and tears welling in his eyes again.

It's safety and protection he feels in the embrace as he breaks down again, thumping a fist against Yunho's back, his other hand clutching onto Yunho's t-shirt. Why it is so easy for him to just fit himself in Yunho's arms again after all that, he has no clue. All that matters to him is that nothing has ever felt more right than this, and he's almost ruined everything.

'I haven't eaten anything proper since my maker died. I haven't had anyone I love cooking for me in a long time, and I don't like my cooking. You're more than enough, and I love you, Changmin. I love you more than anything,' Yunho whispers, staining the shoulder of Changmin's shirt with bloody tears.

'I didn't plan for this to happen. I just wanted to take you some place nice, so we can count down to the new year. I didn't plan for this,' he whispers, clutching tighter to Changmin.

'I'm not lying, Changmin-ah, you believe me, right? You have to, I'm not lying, I swear,' Yunho rambles on, looking at Changmin pleadingly, hands never stopping, touching the younger man's face, hair, brushing away tears that don't cease, imploring the other man to just remember that they love each other, and that's all that matters.

'I've only ever loved two people in this world, Changmin-ah. And that's Jaejoong and you. And I do love you,' he whispers, desperately trying to find ways and means for Changmin to stop looking at him with those painful eyes.

'Is that Jaejoong?' Changmin sighs, swiping at his eyes, glancing at the photo frame lying on the floor. Yunho stands to pick it up, sitting down beside Changmin again on the bed, holding a clammy palm, showing Changmin the photo.

'Jaejoong's my maker. Before he turned me, we were best friends. And lovers.' Yunho adds the last bit with much reluctance, watching the bob of Changmin's adam's apple as he swallows hard.

'I knew what he was. He found me, and we became friends. We learned to love each other, and one day, he told me what he really was, asked if he could turn me, but I told him to wait. Wait until the time was right.'

'I was dying when he finally did turn me, bleeding to death in some dark alleyway.'

'Changmin, Jaejoong and I, we loved each other. He took care of me, always cooked my favorite even though we don't actually need to eat. We lived together for seventy years, Changmin. He died two years ago.'

'Changmin, I love Jaejoong. But I don't have him with me anymore. I only have memories, and I only have you. If you would allow it, I only have you now. I love Jaejoong, I still do and I miss him so badly. But I love you, Changmin, and you're not here to replace Jaejoong even if that's what it looks like.'

Yunho pulls Changmin's hand tight, kissing each knuckle, blood dripping off the tip of his nose and landing on his lap. 'Please, Changmin. You have to believe me, I love you, I love you.'

Breath after shuddery breath Changmin sucks in, gasping heavily as he cries in earnest, his heart clenching so painfully. He mentally slaps himself for ever doubting Yunho, for accusing Yunho for things he's never done. Even more, he had broken the promise he made himself earlier that morning, hating himself even more for it.

'Were you ever going to tell me?' he asks, lower lip trembling as he inhales sharply again, his eyes bloodshot and nose runny.

'After. I was planning on telling you everything when we got home,' Yunho sighs, blotting his tears on Changmin's hoodie, the both of them clutching onto each other tight, not a space of air between their bodies.

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Yunho-yah. I should never have doubted you, I didn't mean to say all those things, I was just so hurt to think you would ever use me after everything you've done for me, so betrayed that you would ever cheat on me and leave me for someone else. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Yunho. I'm sorry for doubting you and for calling you a liar,' Changmin whispers, pressing his forehead against Yunho's, sighing.

'I'm sorry, Yunho. I love you, I love you too.'

It's really the most rational explanation Changmin can give himself. He must love Yunho, without which he could hardly care less if Yunho had been cheating on him. He might be annoyed if Yunho had been taking advantage of him. But he does care, he cares so much he hurts himself and Yunho, because he loves Yunho.

He leaves rationality all at the door this time, choosing wisely to follow his heart, and his heart leads him right into Yunho's arms. Cupping Yunho's cheeks, he pulls the other man forward, closing the gap between them.

Their lips move slowly, gently, in a sweet yet drowning kiss. This will never grow old with Changmin, the way Yunho kisses him almost the same way he leaps off a building, the feeling of flying before free-falling with the fear of hitting hard ground, only to get snapped up and held in a protective and loving embrace, safe and warm and perfect.

The ramen gets trashed, cold and soggy by the time they come out from the bedroom again, and they end up ordering room service. It's another mystery solved for Changmin when Yunho explains about a rather secretive "vampire government" that keeps them functioning and well-hidden, at least as long as they don't do anything to blow their cover. From bank accounts to identity and even passports, they have it all covered.

Yunho's wealth is actually a combination of his own and Jaejoong's. The system works in a way similar to an inheritance, in which vampires inherit what was their maker's, Yunho inheriting Jaejoong's house and money and everything else.

Changmin's jaw drops in astonishment, mouth hanging wide open at the number of zeroes Yunho tells him his inheritance goes up to. Mansions with huge lawns and backyards begin coming to mind, but Yunho dismisses that with a laugh. He sketches out the villa on a piece of paper, Changmin filling up the gaps with his imagination as Yunho describes the layout, and in Changmin's mind, the villa is a beautiful place.

An hour before midnight, they both get dressed and leave the suite, holding hands and walking out into the snow. There aren't many people left on the streets, most heading in the direction of the district square. The pair follow, Yunho occasionally leaning closer to Changmin to whisper random things, Changmin usually smiling back and laughing.

When noise of excitement and anticipation grows louder as they near the district square, Yunho indicates for Changmin to climb on his back again, sprinting to the foot of the tallest building in the vicinity, before scaling up the building. It amazes Changmin to no end how Yunho climbs the wall so easily, with so few grips and footholds. He looks up at the sky, cloudless with a few spots of stars, afraid that looking down would cause him to panic, and startle Yunho, who's so very concentrated in the task at hand any sudden moves might cause him to let go. And that would surely be the end of the both of them.

They finally reach the roof after the longest ten minutes of Changmin's life as he immediately reaches for Yunho's hand just for some sense of security. Yunho holds him by the waist even as they near the ledge of the roof, a whole crowd below them, everyone awaiting the coming of the new year.

'What a view,' Changmin breathes, closing his eyes for a moment as the wind blows his hair into a mess. Looking ahead he can see streets brightly lit all around, like some sort of a video game. A backdrop of snow-capped mountains just about make the view perfect. He turns around, leaning against Yunho and tucking himself to fit nicely.

'I can't believe I did something so stupid I almost lost this,' he whispers, pressing his cheek against Yunho's. 'I'm so sorry, Yunho-yah. I'm sorry I almost ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me.'

Yunho places a hand on his cheek, stroking lightly, Changmin leaning into the touch. He closes his eyes, a tear falling despite himself. Yunho runs a hand through his hair, tucking loose locks behind his ear.

'Hey,' he says, cradling Changmin's chin in his palm, tiling his face to look up. 'It's over already, okay? Learn from it, put it behind us and move on.'

'Hate to break it to you, sweetheart. You're pretty, but you look awful when you cry,' he teases, thumbing away a tear as Changmin pouts in response, puffing out his cheeks.

Yunho laughs heartily this time, holding the sides of Changmin's head, rubbing their noses together. A loud cheer from below distracts them; it's a minute more to the new year, the remaining seconds counting down on a large display screen on a building. Yunho pulls Changmin close, standing hip to hip and chest to chest.

'Know what's my new year resolution?' he asks, grinning at Changmin.

'To feed me more?' Changmin teases, curling arms around Yunho's neck, pulling himself closer.

'Close,' Yunho chuckles. 'To love you with everything I have.'

'You copycat,' Changmin breathes, his face inches from Yunho's. 'Five...' he whispers, even as the crowd screams the digit out.

'Four,' Yunho sighs, tightening his hold on Changmin.

'Three.'

'Two...'

One is sealed in a kiss, Yunho leaning in. There are loud explosions above them and flashing lights on their eyelids, but neither of them notice, too tightly wrapped around each other to care. They don't stop even after the fireworks are long over, and when they do, Changmin kisses the tip of Yunho's nose once more, smiling shyly.

'Let's go back. I have something for you.'

Yunho nods, holding Changmin's hand tight as he takes a flying leap off the edge.

Within ten minutes of stepping back into their suite, Yunho finds himself between Changmin's legs, thrusting into impossible heat as Changmin gasps and writhes deliciously under him, nails drawing red lines along his shoulders and back. Changmin's world becomes everything that has a little bit of pain and a whole lot of pleasure, so overwhelmed he's plagued by incoherency, reduced to throaty moans and whimpers and gasps for more.

There's no saying no to Changmin. Not when Changmin had himself underneath Yunho, undoing the buttons of his shirt and the clasp of Yunho's jeans, offering himself up to Yunho. There's no denying Changmin of what he wants, when it happens to be what Yunho wants as well.

It's pleasure like never before, similar to the kind that comes when Yunho feeds on him, except that the source comes from between his legs and spreads up all the way to his fingertips, making them tingle and his toes curl. He positively screams when it burns, shooting up his spine and right through, nerve endings firing madly as he arches, feeling a warm splatter on his abdomen and the hot splashing inside him.

Even as Yunho eases him down from his high, massaging the soreness that's already creeping into his muscles, Changmin runs out of reasons. Everything Yunho does with him and for him brings him a step closer to an eternity with Yunho, Changmin's list of reasons not to just get on with it and become a vampire shortening quickly.

Yunho lies on his side, gently stroking the shell of Changmin's ear, their lips meeting for a messy kiss. Pulling the covers over their naked forms, Changmin curls into Yunho, the pair slotting against each other perfectly.

'Happy new year, Yunho-yah.'