seven: last letter (part one)

Vedang,

This is the last time I'm going to write a letter to you. Friends to lovers might be a good- a great trope, but it's great only in fiction. Knowing each other forever, understanding each other, then developing some kind of feelings for each other...it's adorable, but it seems impossible in real life. Having a crush on you has made me a sad and a whiny person. Hell, I remember getting jealous and insecure on our farewell day when you had whispered to me "Tara looks pretty". I mean, why was I jealous? I'm a proud girl's girl!

I started having 'feelings' for you when i cried in front of you about because I was extremely stressed in tenth grade and you had comforted me then. Not just that, you had been really sweet to me for that entire week, buying me chocolates and candy ice creams. And, I don't know but you were just so nice since then. You would always listen to the stupid things I would say, and would indulge in those meaningless conversations with me. I know I never said it (which is my fault) but I was really grateful to have such a supportive friend. Actually, I am still really grateful to you. I got through tenth grade because of you.

And then, 11th and 12th was also pretty cool. We were always together in class, and college and society and it was all so perfect, right? But now you're in an other continent, in an other time zone, so yeah, it has been weird (sad) for me. Not having you around is just, stupid. I also get worried, not going to lie. But I can't even talk to you about all of this. It's too overwhelming for me, Vedang.

I am eighteen, yeah? I don't want to be sad and mope around ffs. I just want to get over you. It's not going to happen between us anyway. You're never going to have those feelings for me, ever.

I don't even know if this letter makes sense. My diary has seen really nice letters about you, full of joy and hope and friendship, so this might be a surprise to my diary. I think this is more of a rant about you. I just want a conclusion to this arc of my life, and I want to move ahead and cherish our friendship. But for that, I have to distance myself a little just for some time. I'm sure you won't notice anyway.

I guess, in a way you were kind of my first lo

bye,
lava cake :)