[𝟐] 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐲

"Ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ｌｏｖｅ ｍｅ ｗｏｎ＇ｔ ｙｏｕ ｓａｙ ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ"
－Ｄａｎｉｅｌ　Ｃｅｓａｒ
 ______________________
𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐝 𝐒𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐳

It's been 3 weeks since I transferred here. Nothing's new and the school seems ordinary to me. In those 3 weeks, I've been mourning to my parents if I could go back to my old school.

Mas masaya doon, it was a school for artists. It was lively, the students and its body were super active and every month may pakulo lagi. That school was never boring and it excites me to go to school every day. 

Institute of the Arts－if I graduated high school there, at my old school,  then getting into college wouldn't be a problem for me. I always dreamt of being a music producer someday. I know, napakawalang kwentang pangarap ito－but who knows a hobby could turn into a passion?

My parents find it shallow and absurd. 'Wala ka mapupuntahan with your petty goals', they said. That's why they transferred me here at the Technological Institute of the Philippines. 

My relatives were expecting another Architect in the faminly, they want me to be just like my dad－continuing the legacy of Suarez family. Sa tingin nila na mas mapapadali ang pag-aaral ko sa kolehiyo kung dito rin ako mag-tapos ng high school. At nakakaganda daw ng pangalan ito sa resume.

But this school, however, is somewhat boring. People are into academics, they prefer wasting the time of their lives studying, where in fact, it's the other way around. High school is for extracurriculars while college is for academics. 

Dahil sa college, doon mo malalabas at mai-tetest ang kasipagan mo sa pag-aral.

Dapat nang sulitin ang natitirang taon sa high school dahil hindi mo na ito ulit mararanasan once you stepped in college. Do anything as you please, you're doing this to gain wisdom. 

But not all students have the same perception like me.

The students were gathered here at the Gymnasium for the General Assembly. The morning was about welcoming the students, introducing the faculty and staff, and then discussing the regulations within the school premises.

What an amazing way to start your day!

We had our lunch break and today's afternoon is all about club hopping. You can only join 1 club or 1 organization. I haven't made any progress in those 3 weeks such as making friends, socializing, making an impression, and introducing myself in my own style. 

Ever since I entered here, I became mute. I forgot how to be an outgoing person like I used to be. Being a 3rd-year transferee student is indeed a hassle for me, especially in terms of coping with the new environment.

"Ash!" I quickly glanced at my back as someone shouted my name. It was Alana. 

Before I got here, Alana and I were already friends. Naging kaibigan ko siya dahil sa mga kaklase ko sa dati kong paaralan. I wouldn't be surprised if Alana has friends from each school, maybe because of her looks and her personality. At lagi itong madalas sa club kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung kilala siya ng karmaihan 

Alana is truly an extrovert person, she can please anyone with her looks and the way she talks. Napaka-chill niyang tao at iyon ang nagustuhan ng karamihan sakanya. But as her close friend, I can claim that she's more than that.

She was one year ahead of me, pero nasanay ako tratuhin siyang barkada, kaya hindi ko siya tinatawag na 'ate'.

"Remember the club I mentioned yesterday?" she asked me while holding both of my hands. 

She called me yesterday via Skype, but I didn't seem to understand her due to their turtle internet connection

"Ano nga ulit pangalan ng club niyo? Performing Tigers?" I recalled. 'Yan lang ang naalala ko kagabi and nothing else. She keeps blabbering last night while I was trying to control myself from falling asleep.

"Ano tingin mo sa amin? Pep squad sumusuot ng mascots? Go Insititure of the Phi-li-ppines?" she bluffed. Napachant ang loka wala sa oras. I shrugged my shoulders then she pulled me away from the crowd, leading the way to her club or whatever it is.  Kasalanan ko ba na blah blah blah ang narinig ko kagabi. 

"And what's the deal joining these clubs? Paramihan ng members? Mag pe-petition ba kayo?" I keep throwing questions at her but she ignored them all. 

"Can I just decide a club with my own will?" I asked.

"The clubs here are boring, expect for PAS. And I know you very well, darling. Mas pipiliin mo pa hindi sumali ng clubs kaysa pagsisikan mo sarili mo with these norms," she said. Good point, Alana. Good point. 

"Well, why won't let me go with the flow with these boring norms and watch me change it?" I said while trying to get off from Alana's grasp. 

"I admire your enthusiasm, Ash. But today, we're in a crisis. We badly need members, and I promise you won't regret it," she said with a wink. 

I can already see a big banner, screaming 'Performing Arts Society' from here. At may nakikita rin akong estudyante na hinihila ang kaibigan nila para isali din dito like what Alana's trying to do.

She stopped walking and faced me with a tremendous smile. "Tada!" 

Performing Arts Society. Oh, hell no. 

"Since when I started dancing? Do acting? Have you heard me singing?"

"Ah-ah-ah. Darling, I was also in shock too. I also wonder why he wanted you to be part of the club. He somehow saw your performance on Facebook and asked me to encourage you." 

The video of me on Facebook was a class performance, it was for the grade. I tell you, that I can dance and sing, but I couldn't give you an assurance that I was good at it.

"He? Who's that he? Kakausapin ko siya."

"Our club president. Wala pa siya dito, nagpa-practice pa 'yon sa Sepak Takraw," Alana said. 

A PAS club president, a varsity, and a graduating student. Wow.

"How can he handle such things?" 

"He's literally good at everything," Alana answered giving me an unsurprised expression.

Looks like, hindi lang ako nagtanong nito.

Alana paved the way for me, heading to the registration area. She handed me her pen and without hesitation, I quickly signed in.

What choice do I have?

After all the ruckus, I stayed Alana's side. Wala na rin ako ibang mapuntahan, siya lang ang kakilala ko dito, eh.

We sat in front of iWatta while watching the other members do their tasks ad Alana here is just chilling.

"Your face kept telling me that you have other reasons kung bakit mo ako pinipilit sumali dito. Is it personal? Due to interests?" I asked out of the blue.

Tinignan niya lang ako with a question mark written on her face, so I stared her for a minute, then she heavily sighed.

"Hay. Kahit kailan I can't keep a secret from you. Okay, eto na."

Nilapit niya sarili niya sa akin. Kaya naman umurong ako palaipit sakanya.

"The thing is, to promote PAS from a club to an organization, it needs to meet the requirements to have at least 50 members. Through this, we can compete for any tournament we like outside the school," she said.

"At kanino naman galing ang plano?" I asked.

"It was originally from the club president's idea. While the VP  took the action and filling the requirements needed," she answered.

"Speaking of the devil, you're in luck. The VP is here." I quickly took a glance at my right side and I saw a girl with a black bob cut hairdo walking toward us. She smiled at Alana and gave her an envelope.

"Here's the final list of our newly registered members from sophomore year, pakitago na muna, dear," she said. May pagka-awtoridad ang tono ng boses niya. She's the type of person who's serious about every word she conveys.

Kinuha naman ito agad ni alana and asked, "Why me?"

"Because you're the secretary and it's your job," sabi nito na may halong pagtatanong. Tumingin naman ito sa akin at agad ako pinakilala ni Alana sakanya.

"Cora, this is Astrid, 3rd-year transferee and a new member of PAS. May na ambag na ako para sa grupo ha?" at pumewang si Alana sa harap niya. 

"Dear, naka isang member ka palang. Your 'ambag' is still not counted." Based on Cora's look and movements, she's a more serious type of person, precise, frank, and direct. Her position suits her a lot－organized and responsible. 

"And Astrid, she's the Cora I mentioned earlier." Turo naman ni Alana kay Cora. Tinaasan ni Cora ng kilay si Alana, tiniisip kung ano ang sinabi ni Alana sa akin tungkol sakanya.

The club-hopping ended at 4 pm and the school ended the program, but for Performing Arts Society, club-hopping is only the beginning. They will conduct their first general meeting right away at their clubroom.

We arrived at the club room and as usual, I sat beside Alana. I can clearly see the faces of the new members. They also wanted to go home. 

"Can I go home?" I whined.

"Magsisimula na ang meeting, parating na 'yon," ani ni Alana. At sakto dumating rin ang hinihintay ng lahat.

The club president arrived fresh from his Sepak Takraw practice. A sports bag hanging on his shoulder and a towel placed on the other side of his shoulder.

"Hay salamat, Felipe!" Alana yelled. 

The club president was annoyed after his officers calling him Felipe.

"Kakarating ko lang, Felipe ang una kong maririnig. Wow," he replied.

Hindi na pinalampas ang oras, the meeting shortly began.

First, the club president introduced himself followed by the officers. His name is Felip Jhon Suson, one year ahead of me, ka-batch mate nila Alana at Cora. He preferred calling him 'Ken' or 'Keuna', dahil ayaw niyang tinatawag siyang 'Felipe'.

He then shared his experience about the talent he found in dancing when he and his groupmates danced for a graded performance, at dahil doon pinursigi niya na ang kanyang talent. 

He joined national contests like K-pop Summit in Manila. He also competes in several K-pop CG Competitions within Mindanao with his group, AMIGO7.

The former officers of the club were already graduated from high school and since the former club president himself, turn over his position to Felip, through an appointment. No questions asked.

He later confessed his personal insights and goal for this club. Sabi niya, gusto niya maiwan ito na marami na daw nakamit na achievement during his term, and he's also planning to make this club to a campus organization and turn it to a university-based organization, making it as his long-term plan.

I was amazed by his determination. Like how can he balance things? A Sepak Takraw varsity player, an honor student, a dancer, and a choreographer. Through this, I believe he can make any dreams and visions into reality.

And here I am, still a potato. Ano ang pinagagawa ko sa buhay ko, kaya ako naging ambitionless.

Sa paraan ng pananalita niya, a lot of new members were inspired. Especially me. 

He showed his goofy side to us, and he often laughs with exaggeration. I think he's the type of person who prefers taking an action than talking about it. At minsan may sarili siyang mundo－he would watch anime on his phone o bigla-bigla nalang daw ito sasayaw. 

The agenda was discussed, such as filling and submitting the application form, membership fee, incoming events this first grading, and contestants to participate in the incoming school's en grande event: A Night for Students and a Talent Show.

It's more like an acquaintance party with a contest. But this contest is much more different than other contests you know. Idadala mo dito ang pangalan ng club na sinalihan mo hindi kung anong year level ka na. They need participants in each genre such as folk dance, modern hip-hop, singing competition, and an R&B duet.

The prizes are cash.

As for folk dance, Cora and Alana were included. 

In modern hip-hop, the president of the club is listed, suggesting to dance on K-pop songs.

There's one girl listed on singing competition, everyone knew her for her 'pangmalaksan na boses', she's a queen of all birits and whistle.

The reason for filling the categories up because they wanted to have the student's attention and recognition. Tinuturing nilang pamilya ang PAS, and they have one big goal and that is to have more recognition outside the school premises. 

Isang slot nalang ang natititra, and it is for R&B duet.

No one raises a hand, dahil new members nalang ang natitira. The old members filled the slots since no one volunteered from the new members. 

The rules stated that a person can sign up for two categories of the contest. But the old members signed up for the hardest categories preceded. Wala na silang oras magpractice pa sa ibang kategorya, it will only limit their time for practicing.

"Aw. Wala na talaga may gustong sumali?" Felip asked with a lonely tone.  

No one replied. The room was filled with silence. 

"Edi ibubura ko nalang 'to," as Felip grabbed the whiteboard eraser when Alana took my hand and raised it high.

"What the fuck?" I immediately whispered at her. Hilig talaga nito biglaan ako sa anumang bagay. 

"I know you can sing, darling. And I know you can win," she replied. Hinayaan ko nalang siya. I knew Alana will help my journey exciting kahit medyo nakakairita ang pag-approach niya. 

She heard me sing once to Daniel Cesar's song, nung nasa Hangout kami together with my ex-classmates. Ewan, mas walang hiya ako doon kumpara dito.

Okay. I will join.

But no one raise another hand. 

Siguro, hindi talaga para sa akin ang pagkakanta. That's why i already stopped writing lyrics and producing music long time ago. Maybe my parents were right. 

Wala ka mararating dito. 

If they were right and knew all along na wala akong patutunguhan sa buhay dito, edi sana hindi nila ako hinayaan mag-ipon ng pera para bumili ng Dj set, and other producing equipments. Supposedly, I'm saving those money for investents and stocks in the future, since my dad said na dapat bata pa ako may ipon na ako. Pero the heck, it went straight to the attic. 

If the knew I was going to buy these equipment, they shouldn't have to do those things. It really degrades my confidence. My esteem and my belief. 

And that's why I let myself transfeered here.

Dahil akakapagod na.

Nakakapagod na maki suway sa mga magulang ko. When in the first place, ayaw na talaga nila ako pakinggan. Iniisip nila na sila lagi ang tama dahil mas matanda sila kaysa sa atin. Bakit hindi nila ako suporatahan sa gusto ko?

Now I realized that being part of this club is a waste of time. 

Alis na ako dito.

"Guys, this is a duet. Please help a senior out, kung meron man magmalakas ng loob sumali sa duet, please raise your hand," an officer pleaded. 

I was about to raise my hand again, kung pwede burahin nlang pangalan ko sa blackboard, when Felip started talking, "Kung natatatakot kayong kumanta sa maraming tao, tutlungan namin kayo bilang seniors niyo to overcome that fear, we all been through that fear. Sucks, right? But, imagine the number of people who'll appreciate your voices. Sa huli, mararamdaman niyo na yung feeling na, 'Finally, I did it', o kaya,  'I made the right choice.' If singing makes you happy, then sing."

Dahan-dahan bumaba ang kamay ko. His sincere tone eased the new member's nervousness. His message touched my heart, it opened my eyes. Kung naramdaman ko ito, panigurado naramdaman rin nila ito. 

"Taas na ng kamay, para may kasama na si Astrid," pumalit ang sincere tono sa pabirong tono.  How the fuck the knows my name? Oh, I forgot, that Facebook video.

Until someone raised a hand and looked at me.

End of [2.1]

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐲
(n.) finding something good
without looking for it.