Warnings: weddings *shudders*, some heartbreak as usual, some crying, sad moments but also cute moments, not much else. Long stuff (5k??) And no hate for Danielle.
I'd also recommend that if you're going to play the song while you read, do it when you see the sign so you can really feel pain :) or just do whatever you want. Enjoy!

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The waves crash gently over the shore. Seagulls fly way up overhead, screeching and swaying in the clear deep blue sky. On the golden sand, a group of assigned hotel staff sets up an arrangement of white flip chairs, one beside the other in nice even rows. Another couple of them place a long white rug on the aisle between the sets of chairs while some others bring white metallic flower stands to put on the ends of each row and another girl drops tons and tons of blue rose petals on the borders of the rug. Meanwhile, two guys set up the altar with high wooden poles and pallets, more flowers and pieces of baby blue silk. The soft breeze makes the smooth material flow around in such a gentle way.

It's truly a beautiful day for a wedding at the beach.

Kellin sees all this unfold from the balcony of the prep suite, at the beach front resort where the event is taking place. He takes a sip from his champagne flute. He can't help thinking how perfect it's all going down. There's still a few hours left for show time and he's giddy with excitement. And also a bit nervous. It's not even his wedding day, but close enough.

He knew even before Vic proposed to his longtime girlfriend Danielle that they were bound to get married. They'd been dating for at least four years, he recalls. And they were the perfect match. Or at least everyone around him seemed to think so. Danielle was this charismatic redhead Instagram model that captured Vic's heart from the second they met, and after that suddenly everything revolved around her. It's like she put a spell on Vic and he fell for it, hard.

Kellin had always been a little weary of Danielle, though. He wasn't exactly sure of why, but something about her didn't click with him from the beginning. She always posted about Vic on her social media and even if she had already had a following before, thanks to Vic she skyrocketed into bigger fame. He guessed that was bound to happen either way because of Vic's businesses, but he still didn't trust her enough. He had no way of knowing if her feelings for Vic were sincere but he always wished for the best.

Eventually as years passed he forgot about his worries and got to know Danielle a bit better and he guessed she wasn't that bad after all. And she made Vic extremely happy, so that was enough for Kellin to finally drop all his suspicion and accept the girl as his best friend's partner. He'd honestly never seen Vic so smitten before. The older had always worn his heart on his sleeve, yet he always fell for the wrong people. It always made Kellin sad because Vic is the best person this planet has the pleasure of having and to see him get his heart broken over and over again was like Kellin's own kind of private hell.

So when he met Danielle and his life turned around for the better, he wasn't going to go in between that just because he had a childish concern. And when Vic confided in him that he was buying a diamond ring he couldn't help but to be truly happy for him, and for her. She was going to spend the rest of her life beside the most amazing man in the galaxy. And his heart also swelled with joy when Vic asked him to be his best man.

He'd had so much fun helping with the planning of this wedding. Of course, it was not his day, but Vic asked for his opinion on most things. And he didn't mind working along Jenna, the wedding planner, and Danielle's bridesmaid Aly, to help turn this wedding into the best day of Vic and Danielle's lives.

"Hey can you help with this damn thing," Kellin's thoughts are interrupted by his best friend's voice, the man of the hour.

He turns around and sees Vic walking out of the bathroom wearing his groom suit and he has to take a second to recognize this handsome man as his friend because wow. He looks utterly amazing. He had already seen the attire of course, navy blue pants and jacket, white dress shirt buttoned just right over his chest, brown oxfords. But seeing it on him on the Big Day makes Kellin's heart beat faster. He doesn't like that. Vic just looks so perfect, though. As perfect as ever.

"It's a pin, it can't be that hard." Kellin replies and walks up to his friend, leaving his empty glass flute on a wooden table on the way.

He carefully takes the coral boutonniere from Vic's lapel, which was wrongly positioned. "You have to pin it vertically, you dork."

He places the flowers over the lapel again and cautiously puts the pin behind the it, getting it through and piercing the boutonniere in place. He smiles at his own work.

"There, all set."

"What would I do without you Kells," Vic grins at him while the other boy dusts of any spare lint on the shoulders fabric.

"You'd be long lost and alone." He jokes and Vic laughs. Kellin can already tell how he's feeling, but he asks anyway. "Are you nervous?"

Vic nods and bites his lip. "To death."

"Don't be, it's going to go great." He reassures his friend. "Just a couple more hours and you'll be a married old man."

Vic laughs again and it's like music to Kellin's ears.

Just then, the rest of the groomsmen come back into the room. Kellin believes that no matter the occasion this bunch of guys will always bring the best out of anything. There's Jaime, Vic's oldest childhood friend. Alex, another high school best friend. Tony, his first college friend and roommate. Jack, another friend from college who's a little crazy but that he loves to death and who is also Alex's boyfriend. And Oliver, the brit guy that made his way into the group of close friends just a couple years back, but that they've all grown to love just as much.

"Let's get this party going, man." Jaime yells holding two six packs over his head.

"Jaime you're going to ruin your suit and no one's going to get you another one," Tony tells him but it goes one ear out the other.

Kellin can't also believe how great they all look for the event. Their suit pants and jackets are cream colored to contrast Vic, but they're also wearing navy blue suspenders, and matching boutonnieres like the groom. As Kellin said before, it's all going along perfectly.

"Come on Tone, have one. Today's a special day." Jaime hands Tony a beer and he accepts reluctantly. Then he passes beers to the whole party.

"Vic I gotta say," Jack butts in. "My man here looks absolutely ravishing," he kisses Alex's cheek lightly. "But you are like the sun right now. You look," He does the chef's kiss motion with his hand and Alex rolls his eyes at him grinning nonetheless.

"You do look amazing," Oliver agrees and Tony and Jaime nod along.

"The blue really grew on me I gotta admit," Kellin grins along. He wouldn't have chosen blue for Vic, but it's Danielle's favorite color, so.

"Stop guys," Vic shakes his head, bashful for once.

"Dani really is a lucky gal," Jaime raises his bottle and they all do the same. "And I can't wait to see all the beautiful ladies she invited."

Which earns him a smack in the head from Tony.

"Let's hope Jaime keeps it in his pants tonight." Oliver cheers.

"Come on man," Jaime whines. "Not everyone has met Mr. or Mrs. Right already like all of you. Well, except me and Kellin, am I right Kells."

The pale boy just laughs, a bit awkwardly if you payed attention. "I think hooking up at weddings is more your style than mine Himes."

"Fine, but don't worry, I'll be on the lookout for hot guys just for you too."

"Thanks you're so considerate," Kellin replies sarcastically and they all laugh and clink their bottles anyway.

"How are you feeling V?" Alex asks, referring to their bachelor's party the previous night and how much they had to drink. They would all be hungover as hell if going wild wasn't already their thing for years.

"Surprisingly, your concoction worked." Vic laughs. He had a lot to drink, more than usual. But Alex made him his special smoothie which has him like nothing happened. The only thing he's feeling is nerves and anxiety. He basically can't wait to get married already. He wants it to happen now. He misses Dani and he wants to see her so bad. But he knows that waiting is going to be so much more worth it.

"Look at him, all dreamy. He's probably thinking about Danielle, aw." Jack teases him and Vic rolls his eyes.

"Well, duh."

They all laugh again.

×××

An hour later, Kellin walks around the resort reading over his best man speech on his phone. He thinks it's pretty solid, to be honest. He made sure not to make it too sappy or emotional or let anything embarrassing slip into his words. He was pacing back and forth on the hallway near the entrance. Some of the guests had already started to arrive and from where he was, he could see some of them already taking place at the seats and saying hello to each other. He saw a few of his friends too. But he was still rehearsing so he had to wait a bit more to go say hi.

"Hey you," he turns around just in time to see Oliver approaching him.

"Hey Oli," Kellin replies.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh," Kellin thinks about telling him the truth. "Going through my speech. Is that lame?"

Oli only chuckles. "Don't you have a few more hours until that?"

"I mean, yeah, but, I don't know."

"You nervous?"

Kellin smiles like so. "I don't even know why."

"I think I could tell you, but I think you already know."

And Kellin does know.

Once upon a time he thought he'd be the one marrying Vic. It was childish wishful thinking at first. He was still a teenager and Vic had become his friend during the first week of freshman year. They clicked instantly. He introduced him to his other friend Jaime and then they met Alex and their group of friends solidified and lasted all through high school and beyond. And just as their friendship grew, other kinds of feelings also started blossoming in Kellin's heart. He didn't know what to do at first. He was confused and figuring things out still. And he was sure Vic could never reciprocate his feelings at all. So he kept quiet.

During college he finally accepted that he was gay and started going out with different boys here and there. In part to try and forget he ever liked Vic and to get over whatever little crush he had on his friend, and also to get out there and see if he could find The One someday. He didn't. He was probably unluckier in romance than Vic during that period (not that it has gotten better now, but, yeah) and everything always led back to the tanned boy.

And he started thinking that maybe, maybe, his crush wasn't as little anymore. And not even a crush at all. Real and scary feelings crept up on his stomach whenever he saw the other boy. His stomach made that flip all the time, his heart beat faster in his chest. He wanted Vic to be his. But Vic was always busy getting his heart broken by all the wrong people.

Timing was never on Kellin's side and he confirmed the fact when, after several years of holding in his feelings for Vic, he decided to confess everything to the other boy. He was ready. He had rehearsed, he knew exactly what to say. He hoped that Vic wouldn't mind.

They were so close to graduating college then and the group of friends always hung out at this bar near campus so when Kellin asked Alex where Vic was that night, the brunette told him of his usual whereabouts and Kellin ran as fast as he could. It was time.

When he got there though, it finally downed on him that maybe, maybe, him and Vic we're just not mean to be. Because his friend was at the bar, yes. But he was talking to a pretty redhead in a golden dress. And the look in Vic's eyes told him everything he needed to know. He had missed his chance.

He was okay with that, really. Eventually. Maybe they were just not meant to be together and that was the last sign he needed to see. The Universe played its cards and Kellin admitted defeat. It was easier said than done, though.

A little after that Kellin met Oliver at a work event and he was so grateful for the british boy's company while Vic fell in love with another person. Kellin introduced him to the group of friends and it all went from there too.

Oli is the only one of the friends who know about his feelings for Vic. He figured it out somehow and Kellin had no other option but to admit it true. And he's glad it's only Oli that knows and not the rest of them. He wouldn't have been able to handle the pity looks he would've been given when Vic announced he had a fiancée. Oli never did that. He was there for him to listen and understand.

Kellin was over Vic. Really, he was. However, it still stung a bit to know that someone else will call him theirs for the rest of their lives from tonight on. And that he will build his own new life far from him. And that in time he might even forget about Kellin because he's busy with his family and his job and all that other stuff.

Maybe that's why he didn't want to mess today up. He wanted a place in Vic's life even after he becomes a husband.

"It'll be fine mate," Oli tried to reassure his friend with a pat in the back. "Whatever you end up saying won't be more embarrassing than Jaime trying to score with the bridesmaids."

Kellin laughs and smiles at Oliver. He's truly grateful for him. And they laugh some more seeing Jaime trying to be smooth with the girls at the lobby.

×××

After talking to Kellin, Oliver remembers he left his phone charging on the groom's suite where they were getting ready. Shaking his head, he starts back to the room and on the way there he can't help but to overhear two women talking in hushed tones near the room that's supposed to be Danielle's.

"...I don't know, she's locked herself in the bathroom."

"She won't come out?"

"No, and she won't stop crying."

"What's wrong? Today is supposed to be one of the best days of her life."

"I know! Aly is in there trying to talk to her. Poor child."

"She's probably just nervous. You know how you were on your wedding day."

"Ha! Don't remind me. I was hysterical."

Oli heard the pair walk away and he leaned on the wall, trying to process what he just listened to but not being able to make sense of it at all.

×××

It's finally time.

Vic and his groomsmen make their way to the altar as they had rehearsed previously. The butterflies in his stomach will not subside and his hands are shaking a bit. He never expected to feel this nervous. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore sooth him at least and also Kellin's grasp on his shoulder.

"Breathe." He says softly and Vic nods.

All the guests sit on the rows of chairs in an arrangement of pastel colors and flowy clothes. Vic loves that this wedding is taking place at the beach, the place he loves the most and where he feels most at home. Having all the people he loves here just makes it all ten times better.

His mom and dad are front row along with some cousins, his aunties and uncles. The rows after that are filled with all his friends from college, from work, even a few from high school that he still held contact with. He is so happy. He feels like the rest of his life is just about to start. And he can't hardly wait any longer.

And he doesn't have to because soon enough the band starts playing a soft song and the processional begins. And when it's time for Danielle to walk down the aisle with her father, Vic can't help it and starts tearing up from happiness.

Kellin notices immediately and hands his friend a tissue, which he accepts gladly. Kellin also wants to cry but for several other non-important reasons. It's all happening now. No way to turn back time. He's happy, though. And he smiles as he watches her make her way towards Vic. But he notices instantly.

She looks as beautiful as ever, though something's off with Danielle. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes and they're filling with unshed tears. There's a permanent crease in her brow and her fingers wrapped around the bouquet hold it way too tightly. It unsettles Kellin in a bad way. And that unpleasant feeling he felt the first time he met her all those years ago grows back in his stomach and he doesn't like it one bit.

When she reaches the altar her hands are shaking. Vic probably thinks it's nerves. Kellin starts praying to God that what he's thinking is not about to happen. 

Yet his prayers are not listened.

Danielle breaks down the second she stands before Vic. And everything after that becomes a blur, a fog, a mantle over Vic's memories. 

Years later he won't even recall how it all happened because it was like his soul left his body for those insufferable minutes where she ran away. Kellin though, Kellin will never forget or forgive everything that happened next.

The officiant couldn't even get the first words out when Danielle says "No." 

Just like that.

"I'm so sorry, I can't do it." The redhead shakes her head over and over, mascara running down her cheeks. "I can't marry you Vic, I... I'm not in love with you anymore."

The words ring through the peaceful beach. Guests look at each other confused out of their minds. Kellin's mental alarms go off and he wants to, he wants to-

"I'm so sorry," she cries as she gives back the engagement diamond ring to Vic and quite literally runs off to the other side of the beach, her long white veil falling behind her.

No one knows what to do in these types of situations. Everyone is silent for a few seconds, thoughts tangled and wondering what's going on. The bridesmaids all run after Danielle. But Kellin doesn't care about anyone at this point, only Vic.

He stands in front of him, calling out his name. Trying to make him react. He's in shock.

"Vic, hey, Vic."

"I'm gonna kill her!" Jack shouts and Alex tells him to be quiet.

The boys all try to make Vic respond but it's not working.

"Jaime take him to the suite," Kellin is on the verge of tears himself. "Now, please. Get him some water. Get to him react."

Jaime nods and Tony helps him grab at Vic and take him down the wooden altar. His parents also go after them. The murmurs are unbearable. Kellin doesn't know what to do.

"Jenna," he calls out to the blonde wedding planner. She looks like she's about to faint.

"What the fuck just happened?!" She whisper-shouts.

"I wish I knew, fuck!" He rubs his hands over his face. "Fuck!! Why is this happening."

He's pissed. How dare you? Is all he can think. How dare you break his heart like that.

"I don't know what the protocol is for this," he's breathing heavily now. His stress levels are sky high.

"Kellin hey, breathe." Jenna grabs at his shoulder and squeezes. "I got this alright. It's my job. I got this. Make sure Vic is alright."

He nods quickly. "Okay, okay. Thank you."

He looks for Alex, Jack and Oliver but they must have gone after Vic too.

He wishes this was all but a bad dream. He wants to wake up from whatever this is. This can't be happening. He wants to go stop time and reverse it. Go back, go back, go back. He knows he can't do that, though. So instead he runs towards the suite too.

×××

{This is your cue to play the song if you want}

There is not a single word in the whole entire world that could describe what Vic is feeling. Heartbroken could work. Humiliated too. Devastated. Empty. Hopeless. But not entirely. It feels more than all that. Like falling through a bottomless hole. Just, falling.

After the initial shock wore off, he couldn't stop crying. He had a panic attack right after. It killed everyone to see him like that. Everyone wanted to be there for him. He just wanted to be alone. He was sure he was going to be for the rest of his life anyway.

A few hours later he couldn't take it and while most everyone was distracted he slipped easily out of the room. He didn't want to, but he took out of his phone. He dialed her number not even thinking twice. It goes straight to voicemail. Whatever, he thinks.

"W-why did you do this Danielle? Why go through all this if you didn't love me anymore? Fuck! Fuck this. You should've told me, you should've talked to me... I hope you find whatever is you're looking for. I'm sorry for having wasted your time I guess. And I... I don't ever want to see you again..."

He couldn't form words anymore. That was a lie. All he wanted was to see her and ask her why.

He dried the tears from his eyes and felt for his car keys on his pocket. There they were. So he walked to his car and drove off, thankful for not having run into any of the wedding guests on the way.

He drove to his favorite beach. Well, second favorite beach. The first one is forever tainted with what just happened. He doesn't want to think about that anymore. He doesn't want to think about her anymore.

It was night time now. The sky only getting darker and darker. Sort of resembling the way his eyes felt right now.

When he arrives, he leaves his shoes in the car and walks barefoot on the cooling sand towards the shore. The wind is soft against his skin as he stands before the immensity of the ocean. He closes his eyes and tries to picture anything other than what happened just hours ago. Turns out it's sort of impossible. A few tears roll down his cheeks and soon enough he's sobbing again. The pain in his chest becoming excruciating.

He doesn't know for how long he cries. He just stands there. The ocean and the sky are the only witnesses of his pain. That is until a familiar pair of arms wrap around him, embracing him into that warmth and ease he only ever feels around his best friend.

Kellin holds Vic as his life depends on it. He hugs him tightly and rubs his back as he cries and cries. He could feel his own cheeks get wet too. All he ever wanted was for Vic to be happy. And the world comes and does the most horrible thing. Love isn't fair at all, really. It happens all the time to people who are terrible and to the sweetest of them. How could it be fair?

Kellin wishes to have a time machine and erase Danielle out of Vic's life. He wishes to swap places with Vic just to stop him from aching.

"It hurts so much Kells," Vic whispers once the worst of his crying subsides. "Why did this happen?"

"How were you to know, Vic?" Kellin tries to comfort him. "How were you to know?"

They stay like that for a few minutes. At last, they sit in front of the ocean, not saying anything for a while. Just looking at the waves crash one after the other.

"How'd you find me?" Vic whispers. He's hugging his knees to his chest. Eyes puffy and lost in the scenery before him.

"Wasn't that hard to be honest," Kellin says softly. "Second favorite place right?"

Vic's heart warms a bit. He only nods his head and lets out a bitter sigh.

"Right now we should all be dancing and drinking, there should be a ring on my finger..." Vic's voice is bitter and hollow. "Now I just feel this empty pit on my stomach. I can't believe she would do this to me."

Kellin rubs his back slowly.

"Maybe you will never know why this happened Vic, maybe she wasn't the one and you and her were meant for other things in life. I can't pretend to know what you're feeling right now in the slightest but," he considers his words carefully. "I know how much a broken heart sucks, I know all the cruel jokes life has to offer sometimes and it's awful and it'll hurt and it'll feel like the pain is slowly tearing you apart, but you know what?

"You are the strongest person I know, Vic. I've seen you deal with stuff I would've never in my life known how to even handle. You are kind and genuine and smart and beautiful. If she doesn't want that then it's absolutely her loss. And honestly you dodged a bullet. And all this pain that you're feeling now... take it as a reminder that hearts can heal. That your heart will heal."

Vic drops his head on Kellin's shoulder and the pale boy reaches his arm to hug him closer. He didn't know what to say. He knows his friend's words are true. Even though right now it's difficult to focus on anything other than his ache, he knows way deep down that he was only settling with Danielle because it was what everyone expected him to do. All through his life his plan was always to be married by the time he was 25 or 26. That's the way he was brought up. That's how his life was supposed to be.

Now he realizes that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. And that only makes him cry harder.

"What am I going to do now?" Vic says just above a whisper, mostly asking the question to himself. But Kellin had other ideas.

"Well, you will go back to the hotel room and drink a glass of water, maybe make some tea and change into some pajamas. Then you will go to sleep and tomorrow will be another day. And when you ask yourself that question once again tomorrow focus on how the air fills your lungs when you breathe in and how it feels when you let it out and then you will think of all the joy that is to come, no matter how far it seems or how difficult it is. Because it will come again."

Vic nods to everything he's telling him, feeling unbelievably grateful for having someone like Kellin in his life.

"What would I do without you Kells?"

Kellin smiles and doesn't reply for a moment, leaning his head above Vic's.

"I'll always be here for you no matter what, alright? You will never be alone."

×××

5 years later

"There," Kellin says as he finishes tying the knot of the black tie with a swift slip of the fabric. "All set."

Vic smiles at him and thanks him, turning to look at himself in the full body mirror. His burgundy colored suit fits him so much better than he expected. Turns out he likes it much better than navy blue, red is in style Kellin told him not too long ago.

Kellin stands beside him and he can't help but to admire how handsome he looks as well. His suit is a deep shade of grey and has checkered patterns on the jacket. He had already tied his tie a few minutes ago as he's the expert, but that didn't stop Vic from adjusting it a bit to not feel too left out about getting your significant other ready for a formal event.

"You sure you're okay with this?" Kellin asks, a small frown on his face.

"Yeah Kells, stop asking." Vic reassures him with a squeeze of his shoulders.

"I mean, it's completely okay if we don't go you know," he shrugs. "We could stay here, have a sleepover."

Vic laughs at this. "We can't have a sleepover, you literally live here."

Kellin only rolls his eyes. "Says who? Of course we can, we can make some popcorn, some face masks, watch cat videos on YouTube..."

"Uh huh, that's our daily already."

"Vic, I'm just trying to help here."

Vic kisses the top of his boyfriend's head. "As cute as you look when you're worried, don't. Seriously, it's fine."

Kellin's frown fades as a slight pink tint appears on his cheeks instead. "I'm just saying, if you don't want to go, we don't have to."

"Thanks, baby. I don't think we can miss Jack and Alex's wedding, though." Vic chuckles, the pet name slipping out of him now so easily. "Jack would literally stop the ceremony, come running to get us and then kill us."

Kellin grins. "You know he wouldn't."

Vic's chest warms with the way Kellin looks at him. It's funny. All those years knowing him and he never noticed how much love those blue green orbs held for him. He had been very stupid, he admits. Now his best friend is also his boyfriend and it's always funny to him how the love he always wished for was right there in front of him from the beginning. He wouldn't have it any other way.

"Well, then I just really want to go." Vic shrugs, walking to the bedside table and picking up his phone to save on his pocket. "I know you don't believe me but I don't hate weddings. Not really."

Kellin sighs. He believes him. He just doesn't want him to get triggered by anything during the event. He knows it's been a while since the thing, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. The trauma Vic went through is something he'd never wish on even his worst enemies. He's so much better now and Kellin's so proud of him for how he dealt with everything. But still. He doesn't want his heart to break again. Ever again. He'll definitely and personally make sure of that.

"Alright, fine..." Kellin fixes his tie once more looking at his reflection in the mirror and making sure his dark hair looks perfect. He smiles as Vic walks up to him and wraps his arms around his shoulders, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. Kellin absolutely loves this side of Vic.

"But the minute you feel uncomfortable we're leaving, okay?" He turns to look at Vic.

"We'll have fun, you'll see." Vic leans in to give him a small peck on the lips. "Now darling, shall we go?"

He takes Vic's hand in his and holds tightly, never planning on letting go.

"Lead the way." 

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(A/n): wow that really was something jfjsjs also I'm too tired rn to write a long author's note maybe tomorrow morning I'll write something else (but probably not). Til then thank you so much for reading!! And I hope this pain was worth it in the end lmao and sorry if there's mistakes, I'm half asleep

Also shout-out to Paramore, my favorite band in the whole entire universe, I'm glad I could finally write something with them as the main inspiration 🖤

See you in the next one!

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