Image: Elsie Richards.

Lydia

One Saturday when I was shopping for groceries with Violet in tow, I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Lydia, is that you?"

I turned around.

"Oh my gosh! Hi, Elsie," I said.

"Lydia. It's been a while."

I looked at Elsie. She hadn't changed much. A little older, yes, but she still looked the same. Her hair was slightly shorter and nicely styled in waves. She glanced at Violet, then at me.

"You're a mom. Congratulations," she said. Her smile was small but it seemed genuine.

"Thank you. It's nice to see you," I replied. I was being polite. There was enough conflict in the world, and I did not want to create more conflict.

Just as I was about to turn away, Elsie touched my arm.

"Is that Jake's daughter? Are you and he...?"

"Jake and I got married after college," I said as Elsie eyed my wedding ring.

"This is Violet. She's our child," I continued.

"Your daughter is beautiful. She has Jake's eyes."

"Thank you."

Elsie reached out to touch Violet's hand. Violet smiled at her. She was a happy child.

Elsie stood there and did not go away.

"Lydia, do you have a bit of time? Can we, you and I, just sit down for coffee?"

Elsie looked desperate for my company.

"I uh... sure. There's a cafe near the supermarket. It's got a play area for Violet. I just need to pay for my groceries."

Thankfully, I didn't need a lot of groceries today. I had a handful of what I needed and extra diapers for Violet.

---

Fifteen minutes later.

If you told me years ago I would be sitting at a cafe, having coffee with Elsie, while holding the child that Jake and I made together, I would have said it was highly unlikely.

Life can bring some unlikely circumstances.

"I just need to send a message to let Jake know I'll be a bit late," I said. "Can you hold Violet for a second?"

"Sure! Come here, sweetie," Elsie cooed at my daughter.

I sent a message for Jake to pick me up at the cafe near the supermarket instead of our usual place. I added a short note that I ran into Elsie and we were having a quick coffee. I let him know that he could take his time.

He was going to meet up with me after his workout at the gym, which was close to the supermarket. He had the car.

"What's Jake doing these days?"

"He's a journalist working in the city. He's at the gym right now, so he'll pick me up when we're finished," I replied.

"How about yourself?"

"I'm working at the college library. How about you?"

Elsie sighed.

"Mind if I put Violet down?"

"Sure. I'll put her in the play area."

There was a small, gated play area for little ones to play, crawl, walk and socialize with each other. After placing Violet in the play area-she already started socializing with one of the little boys-I sat back on my chair. We were sitting right next to the play area.

"I finished my law degree, but I'm going back to study teaching," Elsie said.

"Oh?"

"Law wasn't what I wanted to do. You know, pressure from the parents to succeed. It was either a law degree or business degree."

"Oh."

"Now I'm doing what I want to do. It's Elsie that matters. Nobody else." She pointed to herself.

I laughed softly, and so did she.

We looked at each other.

"Lydia, I am sorry."

"What are you sorry about?" I raised one eyebrow.

"I am sorry for the way I treated you in high school. I was jealous."

"Jealous?"

"You had everything. Beauty, kindness, and people loved you. The guys were literally eating candy out of your palm. They all wanted you. I was jealous," Elsie admitted.

She seemed a little embarrassed to admit she was jealous.

"In grade nine, you emerged out of nowhere," she continued.

"I was always around," I frowned.

"Oh, Lydia, I'm really sorry."

"Elsie, you had everything. You were rich, popular, smart, and beautiful. I was the one who envied everything you had," I responded.

Elsie shook her head.

"By the time we were in grade nine, all the guys talked about was Lydia this, Lydia that," she said.

"You know how humiliating that was for me? All the nasty rumors that circulated about things I supposedly did but didn't do? The way I was treated like a piece of meat? It hurt," I responded.

"I'm sorry, Lydia. I should have supported you instead of making you the competition," she said.

"Water under the bridge," I replied with a smile.

"Hey, didn't you win the history prize in eleventh grade?"

"Yeah. I did."

"You were secretary of the poetry club too. I remember Kerrie K said we should use some of your work to promote our school in the national poetry competition." Elsie dug in deeper.

"She did that?"

"Yep."

Wow, I didn't realize Kerrie was one of the drivers behind getting me into the national poetry competition. She truly was an ally.

"I know people said Jake was really good in writing, but I remember reading some of your poems. You've got talent, Lyds."

"Thanks."

Unlike Elsie and Jake, I didn't like the limelight. I preferred to be behind the scenes, where I felt comfortable.

"You know, when Jake came along, I fell for him. Hard. I thought he liked me too," Elsie said. "I even thought he may have loved me. However, I was wrong. He was in love with you."

"I'm sorry," I said, as I saw sadness mask Elsie's face.

"Lydia, I found out I was pregnant with Jake's baby during the first semester of college. Even though we were broken up, we still had a few moments together," Elsie said.

"Before I took the pregnancy test, I told Jake that my period was late. He started to panic. I opted to terminate, as it was still very early on and neither Jake or I were ready to be parents yet. He wasn't in love with me."

Oh. My. That explained the day I saw Elsie crying at the clinic.

"I'm really sorry, Elsie," I said. I reached out for a tissue in my bag and handed it to Elsie, who was trying to hold back tears.

"Right after the procedure was done, I told him that there was no baby. He believed me and just assumed my period came. I wasn't ready to tell him what I'd been through at the time, so I lied to him about the abortion," she said.

"So he doesn't know?"

Elsie sighed and dabbed the tissue on her face to wipe some loose tears.

"He knows. We met up a while later, and I told him the truth."

"Oh. When did you tell him?" I had to ask.

I wondered when Elsie told Jake. Was it while I was with Marc? Was it when Jake and I were both single? Or when we were together?

"It was after Christmas break in our first year of uni. I needed the time before I was ready to tell him the truth."

Jake knew all this time and never said a word to me. My first reaction was to feel hurt, but then I remembered what Jake said to me once when I tried to end our relationship. He said his biggest fear was losing me. He must have been too scared to tell me. Maybe he wanted to leave the past behind.

"He never told me," I said.

"Lydia, please don't hold it against Jake. He was young and shit scared. He probably wants to leave the past where it belongs," Elsie said.

"Do you and Jake still keep in touch?" I looked straight at Elsie.

"Oh goodness, no! Absolutely not," she assured me.

"Elsie, thank you for telling me the truth."

"I'm sorry, I hope it hasn't upset you too much. I needed to get it off my shoulders. I really do want you and Jake to be happy together. I see that you're glowing. He must be so happy too."

"How are you these days?" I asked her.

In the next ten minutes, I learned more about Elsie Richards than I ever did throughout all of high school.

She was dating a French guy, a fellow teaching student, who did stand-up comedy as a hobby. Cheesecake was her favorite dessert, and she loved her maternal grandmother's food-her grandmother was Polish.

She liked foreign films and hated Slapstick comedy. We both joked about Jake's poor taste in movies (he would strongly disagree).

Just then, I saw Jake walking toward me. I waved at him and he smiled back.

"Elsie, nice to see you," he said, giving her a light hug. "How are you doing?"

Elsie noticed Jake's tattoo and tilted her head to read the inscription.

Lydia. Loud and clear.

They exchanged some small talk until Violet saw her dad and started to cry for him.

He then went over to priority number one-Violet-and picked her up from the play area.

"I'll leave you both to it. I'm sure you have a lot to do, but it was really good to see you both," Elsie said.

After we said goodbye, I looked at Jake, who was playing with his little girl.

"She's actually quite nice when you get to know her," I said.

"I know," Jake replied with a knowing smile.

"She told me everything, Jake."

"Oh, she did?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Jake."

I looked at Jake, who held Violet with one hand and my grocery bag with the other. He started walking toward the car.

What happened between him and Elsie happened before he and I were together. It was in the past.

He walked forward, not backward.