Image depiction: The Aston Martin car that Jake and Elsie arrived in for prom.

Mood: swipe left in the media box above and tap to listen to Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.

Today was a double whammy. My period came, and I was cramping badly. I had abdominal pain, a severe headache and felt a roller coaster of moods inside me.

Then, there was a celebration of news in my social studies class today before the teacher walked in. Jake announced that he and Elsie were officially a couple when someone asked if they were dating.

The guys cheered and whistled, and some of the girls clapped. One of them yelled out, "Our golden boy is off the market!" Fantastic. Just what I needed to hear to make the rest of my senior year hell.

"They're the school's golden couple, you know," another comment flew like an arrow, attacking my heart.

I remained silent. I excused myself to the bathroom and walked out of the classroom as fast as I could. When I got to the toilets, I burst into tears. I thought I was alone until someone came out of one of the cubicles.

It was Kerrie K, the head cheerleader for the football team. I looked over at her as she washed her hands. If Elsie was the queen bee, Kerrie K was the mother of queen bees. She was an all-rounder. Sporty, smart-yes, she was in the math club-on the student council, of course, and really beautiful.

She was five-ten with long legs, blonde curly hair, cat-like eyes, perfect teeth, and a straight nose. You wouldn't dare talk to her unless she spoke to you. She ran against Jake for the class president but lost. They went on a date once, before the election, so evidently, there were no hard feelings.

"Lydia? Lydia Coleman?" She walked over to me. There was warmth in her green eyes. "You used to hang out with Somersby."

I stopped crying and blew my nose in a tissue.

"Used to is the correct term," I said. I didn't think she would have anything nice to say, let alone waste time on me.

"I always thought you and Jake would make a cute couple," she said. She gave me a small but genuine smile. "Pity," she sighed. "You're very pretty," she continued.

"Thank you," I replied. Kerrie walked away from me and towards the door.

"I never really liked Elsie, by the way." She turned her head over her shoulder and looked at me up and down. "I like you. I always have. The world is your oyster, Lydia. Own it." With that, she walked out of the door.

That was the only real conversation I had with Kerrie for the rest of the year, but we had a mutual understanding and respect for each other. I learned that Kerrie meant what she said; she and Elsie didn't see eye to eye at student council. They cooperated, but they weren't friends. Not by a long shot.

The weeks flew by like a blur. I heard that Jake and his crew managed to visit a strip joint to celebrate a swimming victory. They won the state championship, and the rumor was that they had a boozy night at a strip club. How did they get in? I didn't know.

Elsie was out of town with her folks that weekend. Still, they were together.

Jake and I rarely talked to each other. One afternoon after poetry club, I was alone at my locker, packing books in my bag. I saw Jake coming down the hallway in the periphery of my vision.

That's right; it was a Tuesday afternoon. He had just finished photography club. We used to meet up after our respective activities, and he would give me a ride home. We stopped doing that this year.

"Hey," I greeted him.

"Hey," he responded. He barely made eye contact. His violet-blue eyes were focused on the door out. He was not stopping for me, not by judging the speed of his walk. He walked right past me. I couldn't believe it! Then he was gone.

I was forgotten.

I was plunging into a dark world of raw emotions, in which I ate sparingly and occasionally threw it up. Occasionally became sometimes, and sometimes became frequent. I thought I had control, but I was losing it. I was losing myself. I had an eating disorder. It wasn't until the summer vacation before college when I started going to a clinic to get help. Only Carrie knew at the time.

Then there was senior prom, which became the worst night of my life.

I went with Devon to prom as friends. That was what we were supposed to be.

The venue for prom night was a combined garden and indoor setup. The outdoor garden was lighted beautifully, and fairy lights were set up around the greenery in contrast with the stars in the dark sky. Japanese lanterns were lighted along the pathways. It looked magical.

There was an indoor garden with frosted decorations on the windows connected to the rest of the indoor area. Inside, there were tables set up and exquisitely decorated, and a dance floor with lanterns and decorative lights set up. Jake and Elsie orchestrated the look, and the social committee did most of the work setting up the place, together with the venue's staff.

I hated to admit it, but Jake had great taste in interior decorations. My heart pained at the thought of him and Elsie setting up home if they ever lived together one day in the future. They really were a super couple. Smart, ambitious, beautiful, assertive, and powerful.

Devon looked great. His wavy blond hair framed his angelic face and blue eyes. I wanted to believe he was as angelic as he looked, but what came out of his soul was cruel. He acted as if I was lucky to be with him. He criticized my dress and labeled it as old-fashioned. He compared me to the other girls at prom.

He then proceeded to feel my body. "You feel so good, baby," Devon whispered into my ear with a wicked smile.

We greeted Jake and Elsie, who were the ever-immaculate power couple of Gainsville High. They arrived in a white Aston Martin that he hired for the evening and weekend. For him and Elsie.

Jake's hair was styled, and he was in his tuxedo. Jake had Elsie clinging on his arm, which he wrapped around her waist. I noticed his hand repetitively caressed her waist.

Devon greeted her. "Elsie, you look beautiful."

"Thanks, sweetie." She flashed a smile at Devon. Her eyes sliced when she looked at me. I caught a little sneer, which she quickly masked away. "You look nice, Lydia. I hope you enjoy the evening."

The witch then turned to Jake and whispered sweet nothings in his ear. His eyes gazed into hers, and he kissed her forehead while stroking her arm.

His other hand was in his jacket pocket, and he stood in open confidence. Her body was inclined into his. She had some kind of strange magic spell over him. It killed me to see the guy I love like this, but I should be happy for him. He was happy.

Carrie came with Johan. She asked him out, and he was reluctant at first, being back for another high school prom when he was in college already, but he changed his mind when Carrie was asked by Ross Whitaker, who was on the debate team.

I excused myself to the bathroom and asked Carrie to come with me.

"Johan said there was no way I would be going with Ross," Carrie said while looking in the mirror and fixing her hair.

"You know, I don't understand why Reggie didn't make an effort to come to prom," Carrie said. "She thinks school is a drag. She's got a point." She turned around to face me.

"Lydia? Oh my goodness, are you okay?"

I was dabbing tears from my eyes. It was a bottled mix of the pressure, pain, anxiety, and stress of everything in my senior year of high school, including prom.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's just that Jake and I aren't even talking to each other anymore. I've lost a friend," I said.

"First of all, I need to tell you this. Devon treats you like crap. You need to end whatever you have going on with him. You ain't going back to him," Carrie said.

"I'll be alone," I replied.

"Maybe you need to be alone. Until you get some steel in your legs to stand on your own," Carrie commented. "What's your plans this summer?"

"I'm hoping that the old group could hang out. Jake included," I barely whispered. My voice felt so small.

Carrie sighed.

"Oh, honey! Honey... Jake's spending the summer with Elsie and her folks," she said.

"What! He never told me!" I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was.

"I'm sorry," Carrie comforted me with a hug.

"I love Jake!" I cried out. I told Carrie that I admitted to Jake that I loved him as more than a friend earlier this year. He looked shady and gave an odd, evasive smile before telling me that we were just friends.

He admitted he had something happening with Elsie and that nothing would happen between him and me. I didn't know that he had just asked Elsie out that weekend. After that talk, things between Jake and me got really awkward. They got worse. And worse.

"I never thought I'd say it, but right now, he doesn't deserve you," Carrie replied. "He's not man enough to fight for you."

I dabbed the loose tears from my eyes.

"One day, there's gonna be someone with balls to sweep you off your feet. Right now, focus your energy on getting through the rest of high school until college. We're not far from there. We're nearly finished," Carrie said.

"Okay," I whispered, feeling frail and distraught.

"You never know. I hear the QB on Johan's college football team is super hot. He's freshly single. Towards the end of summer, they're going to have a big party. You're coming with me."

Carrie smiled at me. I smiled back. Friends like Carrie gave me hope.

At the after-party later that night, Devon and I danced and drank. I wasn't used to drinking so much vodka and beer. Everything became a blur. I remember only bits and pieces, but they're bits and pieces of the worst of the night.

I remember Devon taking me to a room and locking it. I was feeling sick and wanted to throw up.

I remember Devon taking his clothes off, then taking mine off.

I remember saying NO. I couldn't lift my arm or move and did not have the strength to push him off. I remember Devon climbing on top of me while the room was fading and spinning.

I remember Devon forcing himself into me, but I don't remember if he used protection or not. I felt nauseous. I did not want this.

I remember rushing to the en-suite bathroom to throw up. That was all before I passed out.

The next day, after waking up on the tiled bathroom floor, I showered in a shell-shocked state and went home. Devon was gone. When I arrived home, I was alone. Thankfully, my parents were both working shifts; I needed to be alone then.

I took another shower and scrubbed myself hard till my skin was red. I slumped down on the floor, broke down, and cried. I was broken.

I felt disbelief, guilt, rage, and sadness, all rolled up like a fireball spreading through my mind, soul, and body. I blamed the alcohol. I blamed myself. I blamed Devon. I blamed life. I felt that God abandoned me. Everyone abandoned me. I dreaded facing everyone on Monday morning for fear of shame.

I threw the dirty prom dress and stained shoes into the black garbage bin outside. I never wanted to see it again.

The biggest stain was not on the prom dress or the shoes. It was in my heart.

I wished prom night never happened. I wished I never went. I hated my life.

Despite feeling downtrodden and kicked to the ground, I had to stand. That was a start. Face the real world. No one else will do it for me.

On Monday morning, at school, Devon was an asshole to me. He ignored me when I came up to him. He was with his friends, laughing and joking near the lockers in the hallway.

"Can I have a word with you, Dev? We need to talk," I said. I wanted to scream at him.

"Talk," Devon said. His friends eyed me up and down like I was some kind of sex doll.

"Forget it," I replied in anger.

"You know what you are? Cheap. Elsie's a lady who's got a whole lot more class than you. She's also a better lay." Devon then turned his back on me, high-fived his friends, and they continued to joke and laugh.

There was more to it-all my feelings swirled like a black storm of angst and rage, but I would rather forget it, skip this memory and move on.

Carrie was the only person I told about Devon, and I confided in her about my eating disorder. I told her the day after prom, and she drove me to the emergency clinic on Sunday afternoon.

She also came with me to get tested for any potential infections or diseases and take the morning-after pill. We waited in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity. I cried on her shoulder.

We talked about the possibility of filing charges against Devon, but I couldn't go through with it. I didn't have the emotional or mental strength. Not at the time. I was a mess.

Carrie recommended Dr. Sykes, a psychologist from the Green Acres clinic. Dr. Sykes was a family friend of the Deacons and specialized in helping women and men dealing with trauma and eating disorders.

We occasionally caught up with Zach and Greg, and once with Jake, but our group was growing apart. Reggie was drifting again. This time she hung out with her big brother's friends from the community college she would later attend to study photography. Carrie and I barely saw Reggie at the end of high school and during the summer.

As for Jake, I left a poem in his locker with some photos that he took of us at a time in our lives when we were close. It read:

It read:

Your Melancholic Muse

Destroyed, battered, bruised, and contorted,

My heart is mutilated, impaired, and distorted.

I led you on, and I am sorry,

I paid the price with tears from my broken soul.

Please forgive me, Jake!

Because I love you.

You are in a world of enchantment with your siren,

But do not forget your photos of us.

In your beautiful life and your beautiful world,

I hope these photos serve as a keepsake of my love.

Remember me; I am perpetually your muse.

A/N: Please vote and/or comment if you like this chapter. ⭐️