"Little girl, you were made for better things
Than crying on the bathroom floor on Friday night
Little girl, you don't have to stress about everything
Because not everything is your fault
Little girl, you're not dying tonight
You'll wake up tomorrow to the sunlight,
So hush little girl and stop the tears
Before the tears stop you."

I wrote this poem to myself. Yes, I told myslelf to stop crying. It didn't help, if you want to know. But it felt kind of good that after all the nights I imagined someone telling me not to cry, I was finally told by a real human being, even though it was just me. I think I saved myself that night. Because I knew in few moments I would have to leave to a trip with my class. I would have to go away from my family. From the city. I would have to go camping. I would have to leave everybody I loved just like they sometimes leave me. I wonder if they cry when I leave just like I do when they leave. My parents are yelling at me because they think I don't care about my departure. The fact is that I do care. I care too much. And if I didn't care, I would already have my things packed and I would be checking if I hadn't forgotten anything and I would be happy that a new adventure is about to start. Like all my classmates do. I don't call them my friends. Just because they are not.

I think that my parents just don't know how afraid I am. I don't want to leave them because there was this terrible experience when I thought I'd never see them again. I'm afraid I won't manage to tell them a proper last goodbye. It scares me a lot and it makes me want to kill myself, cause after all I'll be the one who chooses how to leave if I do that. And that's why I'm triing to stop myself from criing.

Because I think that if I keep criing tonight, I won't be able to stay here until tomorrow.