four, vatos.

THERE HAD BEEN A reason why Faith hadn't told anybody that she used to be a doctor. Things had not been peaceful for her when she returned to camp after helping carry a beaten Ed. She had seen the lingering stares. It was not a secret that Ed was a monster in human form and that he was widely despised in camp, but that didn't mean that Faith shouldn't help him. As soon as Ed was carried and Carol was taken care of, Faith headed off towards the RV without another word.

She didn't like the staring or dirty looks she had received. Just because she helped a bad person medically, did not make her a bad person. Faith needed to remember that, because right now, she felt isolated and alone. For the first time in a long time, she wanted to leave camp.

Faith could see Shane's back from her seat at the table inside. Last few chores were being finished for the day, and she could hear a few of the conversations, but she didn't care enough to join. Her chin sat in the palm of her hand, and her free hand traced imaginary shapes on the wood. It kept her occupied enough that she didn't go mind-numbingly bored.

It fell silent shortly after, and when a couple of minutes had passed, Faith stood up and peeked out the doorway. She saw the commotion that happened on the other hilltop, just a few yards away. The rest of the camp was empty, and Faith took it to step outside the four walls of the RV. Without a second glance to the group, Faith stepped off the stairs and walked towards the big fire pit- where a circle of empty chairs laid. She sat down in her usual chair, and pulled her foot up to rest on the seat. Her chin now rested on her kneecap instead of her palms, and she stared at the smoldering fire pit with unfocused eyes.

Faith felt sick- emotionally and physically. Her chest felt tight and blood pounded furiously inside her head. Her heart ached with beat, and god, her emotions were just whack. She couldn't tell if she was proud of herself for helping him when she didn't want too, or if she was more disgusted that she helped a man who abused his wife.

She flinched and pulled away when a hand landed on her shoulder. Faith looked up to see Shane, and she just shook his hand off harder- he was apart of her problem.

"Leave me alone," she muttered, the first thing she had said in hours.

Shane sighed softly, "Come on, Faith."

Faith stood up quickly and spun around quicker than lightening. Her face was red with anger, and she shoved a pointed finger at his chest as she looked up at the man.

"No!" Faith attempted to shout at him, but her voice cracked. She furrowed her eyebrows together and sighed. "I'm tired of you," and she motioned the rest of the camp, "and everyone else staring at me because I chose to help someone. You have made me feel like a monster, Shane! Whether it was intentional or not. I made my parents proud by being a doctor, it amazed them that some high school dropouts produced a doctor, then people like you made me throw it all away! I don't like it, Shane. I like helping people, and worse case scenario, I did my part by cleaning the blood."

With a heavy breath, her pointed finger dropped from his chest. Faith walked around him, and stomped off towards her tent.

"Faith-"

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FAITH FELT A LITTLE more herself by sundown, and eventually did leave her tent to join in on the fish fry. She didn't receive as many more stares as before, and that put her a bit as ease. She took her seat by Carol and Sophia, after she exploded on Shane earlier, she didn't want to sit anywhere else at the moment. However, when the little girl smiled at her, her night got ten times better.

"Here you go, miss Faith." Carl smiled at the woman as he passed her a plate of dinner

"Thank you, Mr. Grimes." Faith grinned at the boy, and the name made him giggle softly as he went back to his mother.

Things went back to normal for a while. Dinner was filling, and it was so nice to hear laughter again, to see smiles again. Most of all, Faith felt mostly normal again. They talked and laughed and told stories.

Faith listened as Dale talked about his watched, and everyone else listened intently too. It was silent for moment after his speech, but then Amy laughed.

Amy got up, and Andrea questioned her sister. Her eyes went wide and she sighed, "Man, you try to be discreet around here-"

Everyone chuckled softly again. It made Faith's heart warm again.

A scream had pierced the air, and they turned to see the commotion. It was a terrible sight- to see walker attach its teeth into the arm of Amy. Walkers flooded the rest of the camp. Mothers kept their children in their arms, and Shane stood up with his gun. Gunshots were loud, but the painful cries and screams were louder. It made ears bleed and hearts shatter- much worse than a gun. Those who knew how to protect themselves grabbed whatever weapons they could reach.

Faith didn't know how to protect herself, not with a weapon. The worst thing she had ever done was sedate a violent patient and she was trained for that. She wasn't trained to take the life of an undead person, if it was called taking their life. Still though, if she were to get caught with a walker, she wanted something to be able to at least push them away from her and so, she grabbed a small branch from the ground.

She stood with her back to a wide tree, with the bark rough against her clothed back. Faith watched the others, how they fought against the walkers without guns. She watched as they beat in the heads of the dead, without a second thought, as she to them grunt out breaths and to channel their strength.

A walker had stumbled in front of Faith, and caught a woman by surprise. It's rotted teeth snapped at her and the smell of decaying flesh choked her. She shoved the branch in front of her, keeping the walker at arm's length away from her. She wanted to scream, but no sound tore from her throat. Her windpipes felt restricted as the thought of this being her death flooded her brain. Only a whimper came from the woman.

She finally understood that one saying. The world will not go out with a bang, but with a whimper. Here, Faith was face-to-face with death, and she couldn't even scream.

Instead, with a struggled grunt, she pushed the walker further away from her and turned the branch. Faith shoved the branch upwards once the walker was close enough and the branch was underneath its jaw. It took all of her strength for her to shove the branch into the palates of the walker's mouth into its brain- and like that, the walker slumped against the ground with its final growl.

There were more gunshots before the entire was over. It was over.

Faith couldn't move. Her back still pressed against the tree and her eyes focused on the twice-dead man before her. Suddenly, her heart wasn't okay again. In her mind, the words do no harm flashed before her, like she learned in medical school.

She just abandoned everything she believed in, and she wasn't sure how to handle that. Faith looked back up towards the RV, where the group had gathered, with broken eyes.

a/n → 🥺🥺🥺 I really just want Faith Rosamund Parker to be happy