Joe didn't cry, never ever.
He had no reason to do so, he enjoyed full youth, world fame, an almost unimaginable fortune, health, success among women...
His life was perfect, that's what his companions believed, who, on the contrary, did have notable reasons to consider themselves miserable. None of them thought the time would come when Joe's kind, sweet smile would fade, until it did.
The events of the previous day had thrown the entire band off balance. The young people had given everything of themselves to satisfy the demanding public of Colorado at night. Rick pounded his drums hard, pretending that the blissful accident that had cost him his left arm hadn't weakened him in the slightest, Steve and Phil strutted their guitars around the stage in almost identical fashion, sowing terror in the audience's first rows, Sav for his part stayed close to the public, displaying his extravagant wardrobe while sliding his fingers over the bass strings and driving everyone who laid eyes on him crazy,
and Joe was undoubtedly the one who left the most on stage. Sav could remember Joe, on his knees in front of the audience, shouting the last note of the night with all the power allowed by his vocal chords, making both the audience and the band go crazy. Those who witnessed it would swear that it was one of the best concerts in the history of Rock, and that logically made the band worthy of celebration.
The band headed backstage, everyone but Joe, who took a few seconds in the backstage to breathe easy and have an oddly serious conversation with Mutt.
-IT WAS FUCKING FIRE!!! I think this has been the best show of our damn lives, guys!- Phil raised a bottle of Moët champagne in one hand, while Steve and Rick hugged each other and shouted the wrong lyrics of Stagefright. Sav went to get some glasses in order to serve the alcohol, and distributed one to each member, except Joe, whom he had lost sight of.

-Do you know where Joe is?-

-He must have gone to change, he must have sweated like a pig jumping and dancing around the stage.- Steve uncorked the bottle and Phil and Rick looked at each other knowingly before the latter could say out loud what they both thought.

-Maybe he's already celebrating success with that redhead in the second row, she was looking at him as if she was going to eat him alive!- The two burst out laughing. After half an hour, they began to feel worried, since there was no trace of the singer, so they decided to get going and look for him.
He was not in his dressing room, nor on stage, nor in the already empty stands, nor in Backstage, nor even in the wings. They were about to give up when Rick blanched in the bathroom doorway.

-...Oh shit...guys...-
They all went at a brisk pace to answer the drummer's call, and were absolutely shocked to find Joe, crying in absolute silence, banging loudly, giving strong tremors, like convulsions, and biting his lip hard to silence the sounds that came out of his mouth.
Phil was wild-eyed, Steve and Rick kept as far away as possible, and Sav, in a panic, began to hyperventilate slightly. Nobody thought that Joe could find himself in such a situation, they thought that Joe's cheerful and amused smile was practically impossible to destroy, but there it was, the greatness made person had been reduced to nothing.

-Damn it... I knew third would happen someday...- Sav, coming out of his trance, ran to kneel in front of Joe. -Joe, do you hear me?- he failed miserably in the attempt to calm him down, finally, the hyperventilation took over. He lost consciousness, and the singer collapsed to the ground, tears still streaming down his face.
The ambulance took a little longer than expected to appear, and Sav felt the adrenaline running through his veins, he himself shed several tears as he felt Joe's body go limp in his arms until he fell unconscious. What looked like a bottle of pills fell out of Joe's pocket, which Steve picked up without really noticing what it was, to hand it to Sav.
The bassist spent the entire night awake, circling around the reason that would have caused that terrible event, he knew that he could receive the answer quickly if he asked Mutt about it, but something inside him needed to hear it from Joe's mouth and voice. Was the matter so serious that he was unable to even tell him?, his best friend?
The whole band spent the night in the hospital, at the foot of Joe's bed, Phil guarding Steve's dream, stroking his head lightly, as he tried to think of anything but the scene that had brought them there, Rick he was trying to entertain himself by playing with a coin he had found on the hospital floor and had been kicking from the beggining of the corridor, and Sav refused to leave the bed.
The next day, Joe managed, much to his regret, to open his eyes.
-Mhm... -The first thing he saw was Sav's tired face, who was smiling sweetly at him.-...What the hell am I doing here?

-...You had something like an anxiety attack...-Sav watched as Joe swallowed and bit his lip nervously, thus inciting Sav's curiosity to grow.-...Has it happened to you before?-His hand gently caressed Joe's forehead, causing him to close his eyes to the touch.

-No

-...Aren't you going to tell me the truth even once, Joe...?-

-What are you talking about...?-
In view of the fact that the conversation began to become intimate, Steve led the other two boys out of the room.

-You have rescue pills on you, why didn't you tell me about it?- Despite the fact that Sav's voice never carried a hint of reproach, Joe felt absolutely embarrassed, and looked his friend in the eyes in search of a little understanding.-Have you been having anxiety attacks?

-Yes... But it's under control...

-Oh sure, I see it.-Joe, trying to control His breathe to avoid a scene similar to the one from the day before, he withdrew his gaze from Sav's, but the bass player took his face and forced him to face him again.- It's okay to need help Joe...-

The rest of the day was spent in near silence, Sav walking Joe home and insisting on staying with him, refusing to believe Joe could handle the situation on his own.
It was around 12 midnight when the house's landline phone rang, and since Joe was already sound asleep, Sav answered it for him.

-Yeah?

-I haven't received the money yet- Sav frowned, not fully understanding what money the stranger was referring to, Joe Had never told him a thing about oweing money to someone.

-It's too late to go around with phone jokes, mate. What the hell you want?

-You think you're funny? You've had enough time to deliver the fucking money, Elliott, I'll publish the article tomorrow.

beep.

The phone was hung up, and Sav felt a drop of cold sweat run down the back of his neck, his first thought was, "What the hell had Joe done, that was terrible enough to be blackmailed for it?" He looked at him, swallowed, and walked away. He set out to wake Joe.

-Joe...-he gently moved his friend's shoulder to wake him up- Wake up, honey...

-Mh...?

-...You have received...-before he could even speak, the phone rang again.

-Excuse me, Sav, It must be Mutt...

-He's been talking to you a lot lately, right?-He cleared his throat slightly and answered the call, Sav, silent, watched as Joe slowly began to shake, his breathing ragged, he knew he was talking to Mutt, he could hear him through the phone, realizing in the moment that Mutt must be complicit in whatever Joe had in hand. He started to get alarmed when the singer dropped the phone on the floor, breaking it on the spot, and gently flopped into a corner, beginning to convulse.
He quickly located Joe's rescue pill bottle, and knelt in front of him, begging for all he could to take it, and to breathe slowly so he wouldn't fall unconscious again.
Joe tried by all means to obey, he could barely open his mouth to take the pill, and a loud scream escaped from within him as if he were completely possessed, on the other hand, his breathing was absolutely uncontrollable.
He looked into Sav's eyes with his own glassy, he didn't want to lose consciousness, he needed to explain everything to Sav, he needed to tell him why that damn article was causing him so much pain before he could read it himself.
Joe Elliott could afford to lose everyone except Sav, he was afraid that when he found out his damned secret, he'd disown him, like so many others had.

-Joe, please, you have to listen to me... I need you to breathe slowly, I can't let you fall asleep... Don't go... -The blond made his best effort to obey, and slowly his breathing became normal.
The convulsions stopped after what seemed like an eternity to Sav, and Joe allowed himself to shed another tear or two. He was absolutely exhausted, still shivering and hugging himself in his position on the floor to get some warmth, since he had practically froze when he heard Mutt's voice announce that his best kept secret was going to be published in a magazine with a worldwide audience.
His eyes went to Sav's, and Sav, with an understanding smile and as if he had read his mind, caressed his head gently and wrapped him in his arms.

-...Joe, I don't know what could be so bad that you fear it being published so much... But please... Remember that you are my best friend, and whatever it is, nothing can make me hate you ...

-...A few days ago a fucking journalist was hanging around my house...-Sav began to listen attentively, caressing Joe to let him know he was with him, and patiently letting the boy take breaths to explain himself.- He was very rude... He started asking me questions about my sexual life... And I didn't want to answer that, so I kicked him out...

-And what's wrong with that, honey...?-

-...The next day I received a letter from him...- Joe got up slowly, opened one of the drawers under the telly, and took out a small letter file, from there he took out one, wrapped in a white envelope, with its name and address written on the back, and a publisher's symbol. Then he handed the letter to Sav, who began to read it carefully.

His eyes slid over the words, and he almost began to cry with rage at the way this man insulted Joe in every sentence of the letter.
He repeated over and over again "fag" "fag" "fag".
The journalist asked for an impossible sum of money in exchange for not publishing some photos that showed Joe in the sexual sphere, not even Joe had enough fortune to pay that price and be able to continue living happily. He would've gladly helped pay for it, but even between the two of them they did not amass enough money, so he decided to try to convince his friend that this photos would surely not be so terrible, and everyone would soon forget it.
Sav knew that sleeping with the wrong person and getting caught could mean the end of a musician's career like Joe's, or him own. He wouldn't have been surprised if the photo contained Joe sleeping with a minor, or committing some other type of sexual weird practice, since his friend really was some kind of sex maniac.

-...Are the photos so terrible? Was she a minor or something?- Joe shook his head, Sav's curiosity was growing by the minute, when Joe handed him a second envelope, he opened it almost desperately.
He slid his hand into the envelope and pulled out several squares of thicker paper, picked one up, and turned it over. He examined the photo, and perhaps he was too expressive with his face, as Joe began to cry quietly again. He didn't know why, but instead of feeling disgusted as perhaps he should have felt, a small shred of joy struck his heart.
He passed the photos with an almost incredulous gesture, they were taken from outside Joe's bedroom window, through a half-open slit in the curtain. He looked at the photos several times, and then at Joe, and back at the photos, and so on until he knew what to do.

He hugged Joe with all his might and wiped away his tears.

-...There's nothing wrong here Joe...
-Oh of course there is... I'm a fucking fag...-

-Don't ever say something like that again.- He took his face in his hands and caressed his cheeks.-You like men, so what? It's your own life... No one should think they have the right to hate you for that...- It might seem that the bassist was trying harder to convince himself of this than he was to convince the singer, something inside him had made a switch
when Joe had came out to him.

-Of course they can... Don't you ever watch the news? Damn, they're going to disown me, I'm going to ruin the band and...-Sav watched Joe lament about everything that could happen to him and the band in general because of his lack of attention-...And Mutt told me that he would help me with the money and to get the rescue pills but it has not helped at all, the article is already published...-

After a long talk in which Joe vented and released everything that tormented him, both boys allowed themselves to rest for a few hours on Joe's sofa.
The next day, Joe Elliott's sexuality was the universal topic for all the radio, television, newspapers, gatherings...

"The disease comes to British Rock"

"Joe Elliott, caught red-handed with a man"

"The homosexual collective welcomes the great rockstar, Joe Elliott ,who has just come out of the closet, with open arms"

Mutt called an emergency meeting with the entire gang, except Joe, who was embarrassed enough to refuse to leave his house, to discuss the matter, they had all been receiving calls from newspapers and radios to find out more about the scandal surrounding Def Leppard, so they decided to give a press conference on the subject.

-...I don't think we should leave Joe to deal with that on his own. He has never left us alone, are we going to let him be riddled on television?- The band looked at Sav with some indecision.

-You know what? You're right. If Joe falls, we all fall. Let's give that press conference all together. And if I have to leave my remaining arm defending my friend, well, I'll do it with pleasure.- Sav gave Rick his proudest smile.

-What the hell... Of course we will. -Phil got up from his chair and approached Mutt.- Schedule the press conference for tomorrow, we'll all be there.-

After reaching that same agreement, Sav headed back to Joe's house, where he was able to locate him trembling in front of a stack of newspapers. The amount of pills in the bottle had been reduced, so he assumed that Joe had probably had a new crisis during his meeting with the band. He sat down next to him and caught Joe in a warm hug.

-Hey, hun...- sweet caresses in Joe's Hair

-Hi...

-You managed to control this time... -Sav smiled proudly at Joe, who felt slightly better knowing that his friend considered him capable of getting his crisis under controlled.

-Kind of... How was the meeting?

-Tomorrow we'll give a press conference... We'll tell them what they want to hear and we'll go on with our lives...- He gently caressed Joe's face, while looking directly into his eyes. -In a few weeks another piece of news will appear... Cover this up, and we'll be back to normal...

-...I'm scared...

-I know, hun... But I know you can do it... And the guys and I will be there to beat those idiot's asses if they dare to go too hard on you...

-...You're a treasure, Sav...

The boys visited Joe one by one throughout the day, to reaffirm their support, and to remind him that they would continue to be by his side, ignoring whether he slept with men, with women, with both, or with none,
which made the young musician feel much less miserable. Thanks to the support of his colleagues, the next day he was able to get out of bed and prepare to give the damn press conference.
It would have been easier for Joe if Sav had been by his side, but the other young man also needed to get ready for the press conference, so he marched back to his house early in the morning, leaving Joe alone to get dressed to be "publicly humiliated".
He smoothed his hair slightly, slipped into faded jeans and a red leather jacket, and headed for Mutt's car, which was waiting for him right outside the house.

-You look good, Joe. -The man smiled at him, to which Joe sighed and responded with one of those characteristic smiles of his.

-I'm glad to know that it doesn't seem like I've been dying in the corners for 2 weeks.-he got into the passenger seat.

-Do you have the pills?

-Do you think I want to die in the middle of the press conference? Of course I have them.-Mutt began to drive in search of the rest of the members, who went intro the car and encouraged Joe to try his best.
Arriving there, the five musicians sat at a long table, facing a prominent mass of journalists and fans, ready to pepper the singer with questions about his recent sexual discovery.
At first the questions were "innocent", about how he felt after being publicly exposed, or if he still liked women, apart from men. But within minutes, they started to become downright invasive, even threatening.

"Aren't you afraid of taking a beating?"

"We we're informed that you come from a strictly religious family, are they embarrassed to know that their son is gay?"

"Have you thought about conversion therapy as an option?"

Joe politely and calmly answered all the questions, but his leg began to move up and down anxiously, signaling to the entire band that if he continued to receive questions for much longer, the conference would have a fatal end.
Sav placed his hand on Joe's leg in an attempt to help him relax.

-Enough, let's take a break, please...- Mutt nodded at Sav's intervention and the band retired to a small room to rest.
-You're doing great, mate...- Phil patted the singer on the back, who sighed and excused himself to smoke outside the room.

-What a shitty situation, huh?- Joe looked up at the man who had triggered all the trouble.- Be thankful I haven't posted the recordings where you talk about how much you love that boy.-

-Don't bring Sav into this, you've already enriched yourself at my expense, what the hell do you want from me...?-

-Absolutely nothing, I have my exclusive, and my promotion.- The man smiled proudly, seeing Joe tremble slightly. Upon locating him, Mutt quickly forcibly ejected the man from the premises.

-Are you okay?-

-I guess so...-

-Do you think you can continue? We can stop this as soon as you say so...-

-I want to finish.-

- Alright, we'll be live again in 5 minutes.-

The press conference began again, the band slowly started to get outraged given the questions, which were increasingly absurd and intrusive, and Sav was afraid that Joe would not last much longer answering questions about something that embarrassed and tortured him so much. His heart was in suspense, it was hurting himself to see how Joe became small on the site and fearfully responded to the questions he received, he had never endured seeing the pain of others, but he had never seen someone he loved as much as he loved Joe, suffer that way.

At the end of the press conference, everyone went home, but Joe decided to walk to his flat, since he needed some fresh air to calm down.

-You can't imagine how proud I am of you, Joe... -Sav's arms surrounded Joe in a comforting hug, the older one smiled slightly and hid his head in the other's curls, making Sav feel that the sweet, jolly Joe he knew still had a chance to come back.

-...This has been easier thanks to you...-

-To me...?-

-To you, yes... -He wrapped his arms around Sav's waist- If you had reacted in a bad way, I probably would have completely sunk...-

-I could never hate you, Joe.-they both laughed along the way, holding hands and chatting animatedly about recent events, as if everything had finally passed by.- I still have a question...-

-Oh shit... Not another question... -They both laughed, and stopped short, face to face, in front of the door of Joe's apartment.

-...How did you discover that you liked boys...? -Joe thought seriously about his answer.

-Do you want the absolute truth?-

-Sure...- Sav looked Joe in the eye as he found the strength to be honest.

-Well... I fell in love... I simply fell in love... And it was very confusing... It still is, because I know it's absolutely impossible for him to fall in love with me... But that's okay.. I'm fine being his friend and... Thanks to him I discovered that sex with guys is much more entertaining than sex with girls. - Sav gave a small laugh, followed by a somewhat dramatic sigh- Why do you ask?-

-...Well... Maybe believing for a moment that I could lose you forever made me see that I love you more than I ever thought...

-...I don't get you, what does that have to do with being gay?- Sav laughed again at his friend's innocence, and placed his soft hands on his cheeks.
In a matter of seconds, the bassist had caught the sweet lips of the singer, who was absolutely paralyzed due yo the surprise at the beginning, and who was then able to close his eyes and enjoy what he had craved for so long.

Sav had always been a big fan of physical contact and affection, so Joe had internalized hugs, nuzzles, and affectionate nicknames as friendly, but friends don't kiss, right?

-Good night, Joe...- The bassist walked home as if nothing had happened.

-HEY. DON'T DARE LEAVING ME THIS CONFUSED. YOU DAMN DWARF COME HERE. -A race between the two boys began, and Joe finally caught Sav in a big hugh that made them fall to the ground.

-OUCH! YOU BRUTE. -Said Sav, pretending to be incredibly offended.

-Shut the fuck up and kiss me again.

-I will only if you promise me something...- Joe nodded, not taking his gaze off Sav's- If you ever feel like you're world is falling appart, ask for help...

-...I promise...

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A really messy and chaotic one, but i kinda like It!! I hope you'll enjoy It! 💕

Izzy.