When I look for new books, I try to find new things, different kind of stories, those that are
one of a kind, and despite I don’t like social topics because they affect me, I try to read some
when I feel I can handle them, that it won’t affect me so much to immerse in those worlds.
However, there’s something that has been bothering me, and is something very present in
images, books, comics, and any other kind of way you can think of to tell stories: the main
guy is always strong, can deal with anything, and only female characters are allowed to be
depressive, suicidal, broken inside... you name it.
It’s always the man that has to save the girl, who is suffering in silence. It’s always the man
that sees the silver linings, that makes her smile, and it’s always the girl who feels like she’s
not enough, like he deserves something way much better than what she has to offer.
There is a serious lack of realism in these stories, speaking in general, and it’s something
that bothers me a lot because I feel like a part of me is being ignored on purpose by the
creative people in this world.
I’m not suicidal, I don’t cut myself anymore, but there was a time when I was, and there are
times when I’m tempted to be that kind of guy again, and when I find my escape in fiction the
only thing i see in there is a main guy, strong enough to deal with hell itself.
“Am I a failure?” “Am I a weak dump?” “Am I supposed to be a fucking Superman? ” That’s
what I used to feel most of the time when I read those stories, because, let’s face it, girls
suffer, yes, but guys do too.
There are guys with self esteem problems, guys who don’t like their bodies, that feel like
they are meant to be alone, that don’t feel they are enough for their significant other, guys
that cut, and guys that deal with suicidal thoughts.
I can only think in one male character, from the real based movie Prayers for Bobby, that
kills himself, and this is not about to enhance or to encourage that option, it’s the worst one,
we all know that, but about picturing a part of reality that is being ignored: guys suffer too.
This doesn’t mean either that girls do not suffer, do not cry, but guys nowadays are forced to
be stone­made, the knight in shining armor and that crying is for cowards, that it’s only right
if you are a girl.
In my family, I’ve heard those thing MANY times. “You have to be strong,” “don’t cry,” “don’t
be so weak,” and things like that. Those were the exactly kind of thoughts I had in my head
when I was trying to deal with my problems, and the ones that almost lead me to collapse,
because they made me think I was a bunch of big mistakes.
On internet, I have seen a lot of videos where guys tell their public how they feel, how
they’ve been feeling about life in general, about themselves. Why are we ignored in society
and fiction, as if we were happy every single day? If you can find any reason for this, let me
know as soon as possible.
Now, I can say I feel a little hope for this to change, to this cliche that I hate so much,
because my favorite writer ever, Stephenie Meyer (save your opinions,) has a book for guys
like me: Life and Death. Do search it, and even if you’re not into paranormal readings,
vampires, or hate Twilight, give it a chance.
How to help to change this? Very easy: Just say it, write it, paint it, sing it, or anything you’d
like to do. We don’t need to make a non­profit organization, a movement, a hashtag, or
anything like that, but to become visible and let other people know this is happening, this is
real, and there’s no benefit on ignoring it.
To ignore it’s just exactly what leads many guys to the last option, and studies show that
there it’s more probable that guys may “succeed” killing themselves due to their methods,
more violent than usual: guns, hanging, jumping from heights.
If there’s is any boy, guy, man, any kind of masculine human being reading these words, I
want you to know that it’s okay to be afraid, to feel ashamed, to be uncomfortable with who
you are, to feel like you want and need to cry, and there’s nothing wrong about it.
The worst thing we can do is to hide our feelings, hide what we have inside, fake it like we
are okay when we are not, to lie and smile when anyone asks us how we are. Don’t tell your
problems to the whole world, it’s not their business and it isn’t healthy either, but trust in your
friends, in your family, or look for a professional, any person you know won’t judge you.
No one can tell you how to feel or react toward anything, if you can or can’t cry, if it’s okay to
suffer on anyway. We all have our fights, don’t be ashamed of that and forget about what
others may think if you let them know, but keep your head up and fight back.
You found a movie where the main guys is suffering? A book where he deals with
depression? A song from on which he sings about his self­harming problems? Share them
all. Let those kind of things become visible, let them be known, and so, day by day, we will
see a more fair society.
Any kind of human being that is capable of feeling, regardless the gender, can suffer too and
feel like living is not worth the weight, and it’s time to remember, learn and face it. I am a
guy, and I’m not ashamed to say that I used to feel that way, so why can’t others do the
same?

Written by @AlanDD