Book Title: Lyrics from the Heart

Review: Free

Blurb, Chapter 1

Blurb:

Okay, ugh. The problem with teen fiction stories is that they're pretty much copies of each other. And by reading the blurb it reminds me of a THOUSAND other blurbs I've read over Wattpad. There's a girl with issues, there's a popular guy, they start a sordid affair and there's a bump in the road and they end up together. That's literally the jist of every book. You could entirely prove me wrong, who knows? This is just the blurb after all. But there's no mystery to it, there's no plot. WHERE IS THE PLOT? Is the plot just two teenagers coping through high school? It's been done before, what makes yours unique? Don't take anything I say seriously right now, you could BLOW ME AWAY in the first chapter, I'm just being honest about teen fic blurbs. I like the layout of it though, and gives off a professional vibe. So that's good. 

Chapter 1

First thing to review, don't put "Scarlett's POV" at the top! You've indicated it's Scarlett's POV by placing her name next to the chapter title. Don't write it in the actual chapter. 

Okay, usually, I will go into a huge thing about it starting as cliche as can be by having your main character wake up. It's just so unoriginal that it's unbearable, but I liked it. Strangely. I liked it more because it was her friend waking her up rather than a parent, so you've just slimmed past with that one. Still though, it is amateur writing. Only because it shows that you as an author can't think of another way to begin a first chapter. 

There were little mistakes with tense changes at the beginning (which I pointed out) be careful of mixing up your present and past tenses. 

I really like their friendship! I've only read a chapter of it but Liam seems like the sort of person I'd hang out with. It was funny how he just started picking out an outfit for her aha I am slightly worried about the Dora Pj's though!

The grammar is good, I didn't really find any issues, but the chapter is so short! Why is it SO short? Your first chapter is the hook to get your readers in, and with little to nothing to go on, I'm left feeling a little empty. It needs some backstory, some detail! What's her house look like? What does SHE look like? Where's her mother? Is she at work? It's just lacking in back story, and a first chapter needs it, it's crucial.

I feel it could use bigger paragraphs of her thoughts. Make the pacing a little bit slower and add some feeling into it. All she did was wake up, talk to her step father, get a grilling and left for school, you know? 

I kind of know Scarlet, but I don't. From what I've read thus far, she seems to really hate school (waking up) and is fashionably late (aren't we all) ;-D

But it needs DETAIL! I need to connect with her INSTANTLY. Have her talk to her friend more in the bedroom or like I said before, just include some thought processes. Expand your vocabulary also as it's very bland. 

Notice how I'm only telling you to including things? That's because your writing is GREAT. I can't critique anything bad about it, I love the way you write. For one I could understand it, unlike some books on here, and oh god I am feeling the potential. 

Grammar - excellent. 

Flow - great. 

Spelling - one tiny mistake, other than that, excellent. 

Realism - excellent. 

Vocabulary - needs improving.

I just need MORE! Hook your readers! Make them experience a story NEVER told before. You can do this, I see it. 

P.S. I love the cover!

Over all rating: 6/10

Recommended: Yes, when edited.